Man, I wish l still had those texts I sent from that concert a little while ago...
EDIT: here's some good ones thugh:
Quote:
(407): im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
(1-407): i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Quote:
(407): Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Quote:
(407): He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Quote:
(919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Quote:
(215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Quote:
(401): This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Quote:
(201): I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
(908): I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
(201): Tie
Quote:
(512): i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Quote:
(910): wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
(910): IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Quote:
(954): I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza