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    1. #1
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      Unruly Kids

      Seriously, WTF has happened to parenting, lately?

      Once upon a time, when kids said or did something out of line, they got straightened the fuck out - real quick.

      Now, parents are like: "Oh, you'll never guess what my 4 year old said the other day...hehehe. I told him to go pick up his toys and he was like 'Hell no! I dun wanna! YOU pick 'dem up!!' Hahaha. I just looked at him, like 'oh no he did not just say that.' Haha. These kids today, I swear. Lol."

      That shit is NOT cute.

      Today, I was leaving work, and there is this 'lil Spanish-owned barber shop a few doors down. 2 kids were outside playing with a ball. (The oldest couldn't have been more than 10, if that.) The ball rolls out into the parking lot, just as I'm walking by them, and the oldest boy goes to get it. When he gets the ball, he's almost hit by a car that was pulling out of the lot. The lady in the car hits the brakes and beeps the horn at the boy. The little boy screws up his face at her and says "Bitch!" and walks back to the other boy.

      I seriously had to stop and ask myself if I heard him right.

      There was a man posted up in a van, right beside them, who apparently knew the boys and might even have been their father. He says "Hey!" to the little boy (rather nonchalantly, actually), and says something in Spanish, too fast for me to understand. The little boy looks back at him and starts yelling at HIM, in Spanish, obviously defending himself for calling the lady a bitch. The only thing I was able to understand was when he said "Estupida (stupid)" and "Beep beep!", obviously calling the lady stupid for beeping her horn at him.

      These kinds of things usually don't surprise me as much, but I was literally shocked. When I was walking up, the kids were just playing like normal, well-behaved boys (the youngest was maybe 6), and then out of nowhere that kid is just like "BITCH!"

      Wow.
      Just sad.
      Last edited by Oneironaut Zero; 04-13-2010 at 02:45 AM.
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    2. #2
      bleak... nerve's Avatar
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      I know what you mean.

      I was outside a Subway the other day waiting on my brother to get a sandwich, and there were these two boys inside playing with paper airplanes...pretty young, like 5-7? they were throwing them around inside and the place was pretty packed, I mean, huge line. it's in a gas station so pretty small. anyway, I just knew they were gonna hit someone with one and piss them off e_e
      the mother...wasn't really doing anything
      they went outside (more room?) and threw them around out there...and the mother (who looked like serious white trash) leaned out the door and said (well, yelled in a nasty tone), "get in here, what would you do if your ass got run over? >:("
      uh, that surprised me. no mother should talk to her kids like that...maybe something like "you boys need to come inside, so you don't get run over, okay?"
      they didn't seem particularly wild, just normal, energetic little boys. when their father pulled up she screamed at him "you need to get in here and take control of these goddamn kids."

      I guess this isn't necessarily about misbehaving/rude children...but I think it sort of goes along as it's about shitty parenting. after she said that I thought, SHE'S not popping them out for welfare checks, no sir. :(
      I felt sorry for the boys. god knows how they'll come out, with nasty parents like that.

      I do know what you mean about out of control kids; this is the only thing that's happened recently that relates at all e_e

      I mostly avoid them


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      I hate stupid kids.

      The other day was the Tom's awareness or something so kids didn't wear shoes to school. The administration told them to put their shoes on but they refused and were acting like they are the coolest kids for telling someone no. Those kids got suspended. It's too bad they never stepped on a needle and caught something, that'll teach em. Well I guess not, I don't want anyone getting a deadly disease.
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      Some kids just won't learn unless something actually happens to them.

      I know it's mean, but sometimes things do need to happen to these kids so they'll learn.

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      Don't blame the kids, blame the 80's parents who don't want to be like their own parents. I think this kinda behavior will fade in and out, like a sine wave.


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      Quote Originally Posted by The Invisible Man View Post
      Don't blame the kids, blame the 80's parents who don't want to be like their own parents. I think this kinda behavior will fade in and out, like a sine wave.
      my parents don't want to be like their parents, they aren't. They still do care on how we act and raised us well.
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    7. #7
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      Of course, the day that kids behaved was the day that EFFECTIVE punishment was not frowned upon. My younger siblings love their mom and dad, and would never dare to speak like that.
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      (@ hellohihello): Sorry, that was an unfair generalization. Of course they have the same objective, but is their different method a proper path to that objective?


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      Yeah, I'm really talking about parenting. Not necessarily blaming the kids. The kids are the product of bad parenting.

      And yeah, nerve, I get sick of hearing parents that cuss to/around their kids, as if they don't expect the children to copy what they see.
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      Ever been in a restaurant and the little bastard two tables over is screaming his fucking head off, yet the parents sit idly by and do NOTHING about it?

    11. #11
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      Far too often...

      And don't even get me started on movie theaters. =/
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      I'm only young myself, but I've noticed this as well. Kids are more spoiled now, they get away with anything, and parents don't do shit. I see all the younger kids in my neighbourhood running around, breaking shit, doing stupid things, fighting with adults, even picking fights with older kids, and nobody ever does anything to discipline them. Occasionally a parent will come about, and say "Hey, that's it, you're grounded!". Two hours later, the kids back out on the street after they threw a little hissy fit and the parents either didn't want to put up with them anymore, or didn't have the balls to see through their punishment.

      Now, I don't condone beating your kids, but I think spankings should still be fine. When I was young, I did something stupid and my dad grabbed me, spanked me, tossed me in my room crying and left me there. At the time, it was devestating, but now I look back and I think "Damn, I really deserved that. I'm glad he did that, because that really taught me a lesson." I never acted out like that again, and I learned how to not be a spoiled little brat after that.

      I honestly don't know if it's that the parents are scared to punish their kids now, because of all the social stigmas surrounding it now, and how the kids can just threaten to call like child services or something, or if they're just lazy and don't want to have to deal with their kids. Everything is becoming faster and easier in our world, our food can cook in three minutes in the microwave, in ten seconds we can download a song, in two seconds we can get an answer from google for virtually any question you want answered.... I'm curious as to whether or not this has an effect on the way people parent their children, or if it's just the way that society is going that now people are afraid to punish their children.

      All I know, is that it drives me crazy. I'm ninenteen years old, and I've had like twelve year olds try to pick fights with me because they just have no fear and no respect for anyone but themselves. I remember when I was growing up, nobody even THOUGHT about messing with an older kid, everybody I knew avoided teenagers like the plague because we knew they could beat the shit out of us if they wanted to. Now kids just don't care. I plan to discipline my kids, because I want them to grow up with a sense of respect for others, and a sense of consequence for their actions.

    13. #13
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      I swear, hitting kids need to start back up. I am a 16 yr old male and I believe half the kids at my school should get the shit beaten out of them for being disrespectful to adults and doing stupid things.
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      Parents nowdays suck. Not all, but many. Too lenient IMO.

      @ hockey833: Amen lol.

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      It's the internet that's to blame.

      It's a cunting bad influence.

    16. #16
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      I don't think effective parenting lies in punishments. The reason a lot of children get to be so wild in the first place is because of neglect. You can also reward children for doing "the right thing" and get desired responses out of them over time. I never had to be punished by my parents, and I hold them in the highest respect. They were always there, so I had no reason to feel as if I got too little attention or the feeling that no one gave a damn about me.

      The answer of course is love for the child. Not beating them.
      Although, there may be lines that get crossed by the children that I'm not terribly familiar with.
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    17. #17
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      Quote Originally Posted by hellohihello View Post
      The other day was the Tom's awareness or something so kids didn't wear shoes to school. The administration told them to put their shoes on but they refused and were acting like they are the coolest kids for telling someone no. Those kids got suspended. It's too bad they never stepped on a needle and caught something, that'll teach em. Well I guess not, I don't want anyone getting a deadly disease.
      Dude, going around barefoot really isn't that big a deal. I do it quite often. I'd have protested at the administration butting in too.

      Quote Originally Posted by Invader View Post
      I don't think effective parenting lies in punishments. The reason a lot of children get to be so wild in the first place is because of neglect. You can also reward children for doing "the right thing" and get desired responses out of them over time. I never had to be punished by my parents, and I hold them in the highest respect.
      Yeah, exactly. It is quite possible to raise decent children without striking them, slapping them, grounding them or placing them in timeout even once.
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    18. #18
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      Quote Originally Posted by Invader View Post
      I don't think effective parenting lies in punishments. The reason a lot of children get to be so wild in the first place is because of neglect. You can also reward children for doing "the right thing" and get desired responses out of them over time. I never had to be punished by my parents, and I hold them in the highest respect. They were always there, so I had no reason to feel as if I got too little attention or the feeling that no one gave a damn about me.

      The answer of course is love for the child. Not beating them.
      Although, there may be lines that get crossed by the children that I'm not terribly familiar with.
      Quote Originally Posted by khh View Post
      Dude, going around barefoot really isn't that big a deal. I do it quite often. I'd have protested at the administration butting in too.


      Yeah, exactly. It is quite possible to raise decent children without striking them, slapping them, grounding them or placing them in timeout even once.
      I agree. My daughter is 9 years old, is a moderately respectful kid who is on the honor roll at school (and I'm not bragging. It's just relevant), but I haven't spanked her since I don't know when. And even then, it was young enough to where it was just a pop or two. She'd never received one of the full-blown ass-whoopings that I used to get. It's really just not necessary.

      I believe the best punishments are psychological, and should be dished out with the tempered tone of a teacher (when at all possible. Sometimes getting loud is more appropriate, depending on the offense). Kids don't need to be talked down to. They respect you more when they aren't, even when you are disciplining them. Taking away privileges is usually enough to get a child to understand a sense of "if I do this, that will happen", without striking them or belittling them / screaming obscenities at them, which are often more physically/emotionally damaging. The only thing is that it takes time and effort, from the parent, to learn how to moderate their kids, without taking it to that level.

      And, let's face it, some parents are just not that driven...
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      The way parents act themselves, is a huge part to play in it. Of course discipline and stuff is important too. But when a child is young, they will see the way the parent acts, and see it as the right thing to do. Unless the parent says something like "see this scar, yea, you don't want this. So you should never..." and whatever. Something along those lines. Especially with something like smoking, or violence.


      If a parent acts in a good, proper way (And points out faults and gives reasons why they are bad), then they might have a shot at having a respectful teenager in the later years. Although, of course, most teens go through a stage of total disrespect. And this is just through naivity. It's just how long it lasts, is the worry.

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      I was talking to my nephew the other day (11yrs) and i said to him.. " hey dude what did u get your dad for his birthday?" his response... " sweet f.a! hes my dad i dont have to buy him gifts i didnt ask him to have me"
      i said(teasingly) " i didnt ask for a nephew so no gift for u? cool"
      suddenly he wasnt so cool and nonchalant

      anyway.. if i had said "sweet f.a" or acted so ungratful for all i had at his age.. i would have regretted it. Infact if my nephew had said that infront of my parents ( his granparents) he would have too.

      parents need to shape up.. or stop having kids.

      In some cases..the old fashioned way is the better way, child discipline is a shining example.

      we didnt need a naughty step when i was a kid, my parents demanded respect and they got it. if they can.. anyone can.


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      So, what should we expect of the next generation (my generation ) of parents?


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    22. #22
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      Quote Originally Posted by lordyM View Post
      Ever been in a restaurant and the little bastard two tables over is screaming his fucking head off, yet the parents sit idly by and do NOTHING about it?
      Quote Originally Posted by Oneironaut View Post
      Far too often...

      And don't even get me started on movie theaters. =/
      Heh. First thing that came to mine. At the movie theatre the other day, there was a lady with a a few kids ahead of me, and a few kids behind me with parents. Both of them talked the whole time. And what really got to me was the fact that their parents didn't tell them to shutup. They didn't say anything. Maybe a few ssh's in the beginning, but after a bit they were on free reign. I had to personally tell both of them to shutup (just loud sssh's), not that it mattered. Their parents actually had the nerve to look at me like I was doing something wrong.

      I don't think any kind of physical hitting needs to be involved. There are plenty of other methods..reinforcement/punishment. But not the physical kind.

    23. #23
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      Quote Originally Posted by Invader
      I don't think effective parenting lies in punishments. The reason a lot of children get to be so wild in the first place is because of neglect. You can also reward children for doing "the right thing" and get desired responses out of them over time.
      There are huge problems with this.

      First off, no. Successful parenting does not lie in punishment - but it's a big factor. Punishing children is not only a way to punish their actions, it's for later on.

      First, let's talk about the "rewards method". The rewards method teaches kids that doing something right brings a reward. This is a big mistake. Kids grow up with the mindset of "What's in it for me?" I've seen the results of the rewards method. Oh sure, you have good kids for a while - until you have nothing left to give them. then they start screaming, and acting up.

      Kids should be taught to do right always. Regardless of the consequences, good or bad. When punishing, kids get the mindset that, when I do something bad, something bad will happen. And, while not always true, more often than not, it is.

      Punishment lasts. It isn't pleasant spanked when running into the street the second time around - but it's much less pleasant to get hit by a car the third time around.

      I will say that lack of punishment IS neglect. Punishment, REAL punishment, is because of love, not neglect. You don't punish out of anger (that is my definition of abuse), you punish because you love your child and don't want to see them hurt themselves.

      Quote Originally Posted by xox
      I don't think any kind of physical hitting needs to be involved. There are plenty of other methods..reinforcement/punishment. But not the physical kind.
      There ARE other methods, but none that work a fourth as well as a good spanking. I have five younger siblings, I know what I'm talking about. All the timeout nonsense does is make a kid mad. They sit in a corner for ten minutes, or more depending on how they react, and forget about it, and the process is repeated. They can ultimately end up spending hours in a corner. The same thing could be resolved with a five second spanking, a thirty second lecture, and a ten second hug.

      This has been discussed before here. I remember someone making the point that, the method of punishment that works for people is highly dependent on the child. All children react differently to different form of punishment. it's up to the parent to spend time finding out how. And, if they don't have the time/want to spend it, they probably shouldn't have had kids.
      Last edited by Noogah; 04-14-2010 at 03:03 AM.
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    24. #24
      bleak... nerve's Avatar
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      ...and a ten second hug.
      I think after 3 seconds or so, it is no longer a hug, but an embrace.

      sorry I just read that and thought...damn. that's a long-ass hug.


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    25. #25
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      Okay, embrace then. And, depending on how the kid feels, it could be shorter or longer.
      John 3:16

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