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    Thread: Want a bigger dick? ENQUIRE WITHIN MY UNDIES

    1. #1
      ex-redhat ClouD's Avatar
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      Want a bigger dick? ENQUIRE WITHIN MY UNDIES

      A Story of Love and Betrayal

      Ok, so when an underwear product has sizes in small, medium, large and extra large, one takes the time to look at the sizing chart to see what that actually entails.
      Oh, looky! Sizing is done only by waist size? So my package should fit alright in all of them? Makes sense.

      ONLY IN THEORY.


      Fig. I: A common underwear sizing chart

      So, I'm a skinny guy, I get the right size (according to the charts) in comparison to my waist -- medium. I have full confidence in such a trusted brand that they will not fuck me over. =) With this in mind, I travel home (after paying, of course!) and upon entry I exclaim that I have bought new underwear, much to the applause and congratulations of my peers and relatives.

      Then, I go upstairs and quickly chuck off the old cheapos to adorn the new snug Bonds, with such haste and deliberation that I didn't even lock the door! Wow!

      Fig. II: Simulation of events

      Now, happy with the frontal view that I see in the mirror, I go downstairs to showoff these new black Bonds undies.

      I'm smiling, prancing the white tiles and then the first set of eyes lays upon me, I stop and pose with a light thrust and a grin...
      THE HORROR IN THEIR EYES, their now glistening brows and upside down happy faces.

      "IT'S A MONSTER!", someone exclaims.
      "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!", I hear from another corner.

      Of course, this worries me, is there a hole? Are my balls hanging out? My apricot caught with a wedge? I had no time to inspect publicly, running up the stairs to the exaggerated sighs of relief. See: Fig. II
      Almost in tears I go to the bedroom mirror, and slowly turn. My penis looks ridiculously oversized in this snug underwear, not noticeable from the front, but a profile view revealing all and more.

      Moral of the Story
      So yeah, my willy don't fit without looking like a deliberately placed veiny sock.
      Apparently, penis size does matter more than waist size, and apparently these prude companies can be morally OK with a close up of a lightly disguised sausage and beans, but not with including this sort of necessary information on their packaging.

      ITT: Your underwear adventures.
      Last edited by ClouD; 04-15-2010 at 07:28 AM.
      InvisibleWoman likes this.
      You merely have to change your point of view slightly, and then that glass will sparkle when it reflects the light.

    2. #2
      Haha. Hehe. Mes Tarrant's Avatar
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      This thread makes me want to equip a pair of scissors.

    3. #3
      bleak... nerve's Avatar
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      you're just using this silly story as an excuse to brag about your size c:
      Last edited by nerve; 04-15-2010 at 12:40 PM. Reason: picky wording


      Ignorant bliss is an oxymoron; but so is miserable truth.

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      This thread is pointless without pictures, ClouD.
      Siиdяed likes this.

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      Queen of insomnia marlie's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Marvo View Post
      This thread is pointless without pictures, ClouD.
      LRT likes this.


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      An erection doesnt count as personal growth.

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      Har har har.

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      Old Seahag Alex D's Avatar
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      I wear medium or large. Although I have a small waste, my bum is rather muscular, so they stay on fine. Small for anyone is PAINFULLY restricting, unless all their body is perfectly in proportion with their tiny waist.

    8. #8
      "O" will suffice. Achievements:
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      And this is why we wear boxers, folks.
      http://i.imgur.com/Ke7qCcF.jpg
      (Or see the very best of my journal entries @ dreamwalkerchronicles.blogspot)

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      Veteran of the DV Wars Man of Steel's Avatar
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      Boxer-briefs: the perfect compromise.

      Or, for us really manly men, kilts.

    10. #10
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      Quote Originally Posted by Mes Tarrant View Post
      This thread makes me want to equip a pair of scissors.
      Sweety, I find in interesting that you were the first to post in this thread. Makes me think you saw "Big Dick" and came running.

    11. #11
      Veteran of the DV Wars Man of Steel's Avatar
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      Did you really just call Mes "Sweety," Ninja darling?

    12. #12
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      Quote Originally Posted by Oneironaut View Post
      And this is why we wear boxers, folks.
      or pull a Rambo and go commando

      "MementoMori, the lucid machine"

      "There's nothing better than knowing what it's like to fly like superman. Being fully aware of the air whipping by you, controlling every movement of every single atom in your body with a single thought. It's real freedom, and there's not a word good enough to describe it, so I'll just call it dreamy for now."

    13. #13
      Xox
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      I hate how they don't let you try it on.

      I mean, I'd be totally against them allowing it. That's fucking disgusting.

      But :c

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      Quote Originally Posted by Man of Steel View Post
      Did you really just call Mes "Sweety," Ninja darling?
      Yeah, so? She is a sweety.

      I wear a thong.

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      Thongs are for women, Dearheart.

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      Quote Originally Posted by ninja9578 View Post
      Yeah, so? She is a sweety.

      I wear a thong.
      lol

      "MementoMori, the lucid machine"

      "There's nothing better than knowing what it's like to fly like superman. Being fully aware of the air whipping by you, controlling every movement of every single atom in your body with a single thought. It's real freedom, and there's not a word good enough to describe it, so I'll just call it dreamy for now."

    17. #17
      Xox
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      Thongs are uncomfortable as hell.

      Btw clud, is this true story?

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      Every male seems to brag about the size of his penis. I wonder how many can actually live up to those boasts...

    19. #19
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      Quote Originally Posted by Black_Eagle View Post
      Every male seems to brag about the size of his penis. I wonder how many can actually live up to those boasts...


      "....the world may never know"

      "MementoMori, the lucid machine"

      "There's nothing better than knowing what it's like to fly like superman. Being fully aware of the air whipping by you, controlling every movement of every single atom in your body with a single thought. It's real freedom, and there's not a word good enough to describe it, so I'll just call it dreamy for now."

    20. #20
      bleak... nerve's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by MementoMori View Post
      lol

      you know, that emoticon really does look like a penis poking out of drawers :0


      Ignorant bliss is an oxymoron; but so is miserable truth.

    21. #21
      ex-redhat ClouD's Avatar
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      Yeah Rabz babz, tis true story. =D

      Also, I do have quite a reasonably sized penis. Anyone who doubts can request proof via PM!
      I'm actually wearing the undies-in-question right now, I've found the over-snugness to be rather erotic. o:
      You merely have to change your point of view slightly, and then that glass will sparkle when it reflects the light.

    22. #22
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      Quote Originally Posted by nerve View Post
      you know, that emoticon really does look like a penis poking out of drawers :0
      omg, it does , with a hand holding it....

      "MementoMori, the lucid machine"

      "There's nothing better than knowing what it's like to fly like superman. Being fully aware of the air whipping by you, controlling every movement of every single atom in your body with a single thought. It's real freedom, and there's not a word good enough to describe it, so I'll just call it dreamy for now."

    23. #23
      bleak... nerve's Avatar
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      ClouD: TEASE!!!!! D:<

      Mori: lol YES


      Ignorant bliss is an oxymoron; but so is miserable truth.

    24. #24
      ex-redhat ClouD's Avatar
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      Actually got a few requests, bahaha.
      You merely have to change your point of view slightly, and then that glass will sparkle when it reflects the light.

    25. #25
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      ClouD's penis is slightly larger than mine

      Also, you should shave.

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