• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. #1
      DreamSlinger The Cusp's Avatar
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      Auto Complaint Generator

      Why, in the name of all that is good and holy, does Dream Views want to shower gin-swilling devil-worshippers with undeserved encomia? If you've ever wondered about the answer to that question, then read on. In the text that follows, I won't bother discussing the flaws in its logic because it indeed doesn't use any logic. A word to the wise: Wherever macabre whiners are seen exercising control through indirect coercion or through psychological pressure or manipulation, Dream Views is there. Wherever cheeky individuals are found defying the law of the land, Dream Views is lurking nearby. Wherever blockish menaces are observed taking a condescending cheap shot at a person that most daft, homicidal geeks will never be in a position to condescend to, Dream Views will no doubt be in the vicinity. I defy any coincidence theorist to try to explain away those observations. Clearly, Dream Views always demands instant gratification. That's all that is of concern to it; nothing else matters—except maybe to declare that its conjectures are a breath of fresh air amid our modern culture's toxic cloud of chaos. I tell you this because if Dream Views hadn't been trampling over the very freedoms and rights that Dream Views claims to support, it simply would not have occurred to me to write the letter you now are reading. Why, I might have taken the day off altogether. Or maybe I would have been out stepping back and considering the problem of Dream Views's quips in the larger picture of popular culture imagery. In any case, I am more than merely surprised by Dream Views's willingness to degrade, divide, and destroy our nation. I'm shocked, shocked. And, as if that weren't enough, if Dream Views is going to perpetrate acts of the most destructive character, then it should at least have the self-respect to remind itself of a few things: First, it is unable to remove its mental shackles. And second, I once told it that it backstabs its factotums. How did it respond to that? It proceeded to curse me off using a number of colorful expletives not befitting this letter, which serves only to show that Dream Views's spin doctors claim to have no choice but to slander those who are most systematically undervalued, underpaid, underemployed, underfinanced, underinsured, underrated, and otherwise underserved and undermined as undeserving and underclass. I wish there were some way to help these miserable, effrontive perverts. They are outcasts, lost in a world they didn't make and don't understand.

      Dream Views claims that the kids on the playground are happy to surrender to the school bully. That claim illustrates a serious reasoning fallacy, one that is pandemic in its complaints. Then again, if Dream Views can't stand the heat, it should get out of the kitchen. I would be grateful if Dream Views would take a little time from its rigorous schedule to hone in on its faults with laser-like precision. Of course, pigs will grow wings and fly before that ever happens. Call me old-fashioned, but it is high time for people to wake up and speak out against Dream Views's thrasonical, wild traducements. The logical consequences of that are clear: Dream Views knows how to lie. It's too bad it doesn't yet understand the ramifications of lying.

      Statements like, "Dream Views's promise of equality is a false one" accurately express the feelings of most of us here. Dream Views's long-term stratagems of infiltration and mass propaganda have been so successful that it can now fund, assemble, and train unenlightened nudniks to concoct labels for people, objects, and behaviors in order to manipulate the public's opinion of them. Every store in the country should have that chiseled in large letters over the entryway. Maybe then people would grasp that Dream Views just reported that cell-phone towers are in fact covert mind-control devices that use scalar waves to beam images into people's brains while they sleep. Do you think that that's merely sloppy reporting on Dream Views's part? I don't. I think that it's a deliberate attempt to impose disingenuous new restrictions on society just to satisfy some sort of chthonic drive for power. What's interesting is that I can't make heads or tails of Dream Views's publicity stunts. I mean, does it want to judge people based solely on hearsay, or doesn't it? In a nutshell, I can't stand Dream Views or its cronies.






      That was generated from Scott Parkin's auto complaint generator, a fun little toy found here : http://www.pakin.org/complaint/




      Here is a list of more complaint generators I haven't had time to try out yet.
      http://mindmasterclass.com/search/complaint+generator

    2. #2
      How tall is your orange? Moonsong's Avatar
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      This is the best thing I've seen all day. I'm "writing" a letter to my college as we speak!

    3. #3
      DuB
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      Meh, I thought it was rather poorly written myself, but I guess you can't expect too much from an auto complaint generator. GIGO

    4. #4
      Extreme Procrastinator Paraknight's Avatar
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      Wow. It can get pretty accurate. I guess the whole thing is just one giant barnum statement though.

    5. #5
      DreamSlinger The Cusp's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by DuB View Post
      Meh, I thought it was rather poorly written myself, but I guess you can't expect too much from an auto complaint generator. GIGO
      My entire life I have been taught to stand up for my beliefs, to be a person of high morals and ethics. That's why I feel obligated to drag Dub in front of a tribunal and try him for his crimes against humanity. One of the first facts we should face is that if I chose to do so I could write exclusively about Dub's lawless platitudes and never be lacking for material. Nonetheless, I'd rather spend some time discussing how Dub, with his craftiness and heartless credos, will entirely control our country's exuberant riches quicker than you can double-check the spelling of "ultramicrochemistry". Dub will then use those riches to drag men out of their beds in the dead of night and castrate them. The moral of this story is that merciless monomaniacs often take earthworms or similar small animals and impale them on a pin to enjoy watching them twist and writhe as they slowly die. Similarly, Dub enjoys watching respectable people twist and writhe whenever he threatens to accelerate the natural tendency of civilization to devolve from order to chaos, liberty to tyranny, and virtue to vice. Although Dub of course has a right to express his opinion, he decidedly doesn't like extending that right to people whose opinion is that Dub will probably never understand why he scares me so much. And he truly does scare me: His half-measures are scary, his strictures are scary, and most of all, under different circumstances, his emissaries might have ended up as pea-brained personę non gratę drifting the streets—scary, illogical New Age heresiarchs pressing tracts crammed with conspiracies into the palms of startled passersby. It's also true that perception becomes reality if one is brainwashed for long enough, but that'll have to be a subject for another letter.

      Dub extricates himself from difficulty by intrigue, by chicanery, by dissimulation, by trimming, by an untruth, by an injustice. This makes me fearful that I might someday find myself in the crosshairs of his meddlesome politics. (To be honest, though, it wouldn't be the first time.) Dub's lickspittles have already started to confiscate other people's rightful earnings. The result: absolute vapidity, quixotic and sexist cacophony, lack of personality, monotony, and boredom.

      Those who have most injured and oppressed humanity, who have most deeply sinned against it, are, according to Dub's standards and conscience, good people. Apparently, bad people are those who have noticed that I want to give people more information about Dub, help them digest and assimilate and understand that information, and help them draw responsible conclusions from it. Here's one conclusion I unmistakably hope people draw: Dub appears to have found a new tool to use to help him extirpate the very things that I doubtlessly cherish. That tool is emotionalism, and if you watch him wield it you'll obviously see why he is still going around insisting that his decisions are based on reason. Jeez, I thought I had made it perfectly clear to him that I don't know which are worse, right-wing tyrants or left-wing tyrants. But I do know that the facts as I see them simply do not support the false but widely accepted notion that Dub commands an army of robots that live in the hollow center of the earth and produce earthquakes whenever they feel like shaking things up a bit on the surface.

      Believe you me, I'm not afraid of Dub. However, I am concerned that he insists that without his superior guidance, we will go nowhere. Has anyone, at any time, ever been more wrong? I would venture the answer has something to do with antinomianism. To elaborate, Dub seems unable to think of turns of speech that aren't hackneyed. What really grates on my nerves, however, is that his prose consists less of words chosen for the sake of their meaning than of phrases tacked together like the sections of a prefabricated henhouse.

      At the risk of shocking you further I shall point out that Dub is terrified that there might be an absolute reality outside himself, a reality that is what it is, regardless of his wishes, theories, hopes, daydreams, or decrees. He commonly appoints ineffective people to important positions. He then ensures that these people stay in those positions because that makes it easy for him to achieve total world domination. Well, let's get our facts straight. Dub has never gotten ahead because of his hard work or innovative ideas. Rather, all of Dub's successes are due to kickbacks, bribes, black market double-dealing, outright thuggery, and unsavory political intrigue. I cannot promise not to be angry at him. I do promise, however, to try to keep my anger under control, to keep it from leading me—as it leads Dub—to conjure up dirt against his fellow human beings. To close, let me accentuate that if we raise the quality of debate on issues surrounding Dub's effete, lamebrained memoranda we shall not only survive his attacks; we shall prevail.

    6. #6
      DuB
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      Quote Originally Posted by The Cusp View Post
      Dub, with his craftiness and heartless credos, will entirely control our country's exuberant riches quicker than you can double-check the spelling of "ultramicrochemistry".

    7. #7
      http://bit.ly/GoToCME Clyde Machine's Avatar
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      I KNEW you didn't write it! XD I was expecting you to say you'd taken someone else' letter and modified it to introduce your own Auto Complaint Generator, to which I was going to reply "we don't need more complaints than we already have in the world!" But I stand corrected - this generator is worth the time it took to read through that letter of yours. Nice find!

      BTW there's a flaw: "as undeserving and underclass." In the context of the above sentence, it should read, "as undeserving an underclass."
      DV Dictionary. / Verious: a definition. /

      I'm not on DV much these days, but I'll try to toss a cool dream or two into my DJ.

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