Scary LD I couldn't control
So my dream started when I was lying in my bed, on my left side and curled up like I normally sleep. Somehow I knew right away I was dreaming. I was in unimaginable pain that I can hardly begin to describe. In a way it felt like something was in my skin and my body tearing me apart from the inside, but there were no visible signs of the pain. Because I generally have good control over my lucid dreams, I tried changing it, but no matter how hard I tried I still laid in my dark room in terrible pain. I couldn’t change anything about the dream whatsoever. I tried to get myself to wake up, to escape this nightmare. But I couldn’t. I got up and picked up the knife that I keep by my bed. I figured if I couldn’t control the dream and I couldn’t wake up I should just end it by killing myself. I stabbed myself with the knife, but there was no blood and I was still alive. It just hurt more. I was trapped in a nightmare.
I looked in the mirror. I appeared normal, however when I turned around and lifted my shirt, there was this strange, black blob of an infection on my lower back for some reason. Scared, I walked out of my house to look for help. Everything about the setting of this dream was realistic other than the dark, monotonous colors, which is not unusual for my dreams. After awhile I noticed something: I was alone. There was not another living thing in my dream. I called out to my dream guide, but all that responded was the echo of my voice. The silence was unnerving.
I don’t entirely remember what happened, but after walking for a long time I ended up in a pitch black, big, empty room with no floor, no ceiling, just a long staircase that went on forever and a door that disappeared as soon as I closed it. I remember climbing this staircase, believing that maybe at the top there was something that could help me. But after climbing for what seemed like hours, the pain became too unbearable and I gave up. Crying, I sat in the fetal position, repeating to myself “Please wake up” over and over.
I don’t know how long it was, but I finally “woke up.” However, it was like I was brought back to the beginning of the dream, lying on my side in my bed and in the same pain I was before. After a few minutes of confusion and the realization I was still in a dream, I “woke up” again. Again, it was like I was at the beginning of the dream. I woke up one more time like this before I finally woke up for real. I was lying in the same position I was in the dreams, but there was no pain. I checked the time. It was 4:13AM. I went back to sleep.
Has anyone had anything similar to this, or at least had a dream where you were fully lucid and you could not control anything but your own body? Is there any significance to a dream like this? Because I feel this was one of the worst dreams I’ve ever had. I just felt so hopeless and alone.
