I give up on LD-ing

I give up because...idk why but whenever I go lucid I for one can't really control myself, I do feel like I control myself but my toughts are not all there, I think stupid, heck I even ran into the wall 5 times saying "It's a dream I MUST BE ABLE TO GET TROUGH IT" everytime just ending to bounce back with my shoulder hurting ... XD but anyways whenever I get lucid I either end up paralised in bed with no ability to get out and just wake up fast, or I end up being lucid without control over anything.

Basically what's bothering me is whenever I try to call out my subcouncious the lucid dream ALWAYS turns into a nightmare, once it was hearing people lock up the surroundings of the house and then run in chasing me where I melt into the floor and escape outside and then can't see a thing as my view is blurry but hear people all around me running to me screaming "THERE HE IS GET HIM!", another time a tiger jumped me out of nowhere and well....tried to kill me and so on, and if I ask before sleeping something about my sub-c(usually what do I have to do to talk to you) my regular dream is either me getting lost or hunted by armed men and then I "Wake up" where I'm actually in a false awakening but I am so tired that I want to go back to sleep instantly but the moment I close my eyes my sub-c makes me sence the WILD'ing sensations of shaking and all, cept it's REALLY PAINFULL and scary and if I break free from the sensacions due to sleepyness I can't get away and just close my eyes again and all over again and if I do give up then I will feel like my soul was ripped away from my body and dragged SO FAST that the "Wind" hurts too and then I will end up lucid but wake up for real like 5 seconds later. And every time I wake up I end up being sad or scared, my Sub-c hates me for some reason and idk why I mean even when I meditate it attacks me >_>......and as far as I know sub-c should be like you, but that is SO not like me, I am sencitive and enjoy watching love, cuddling, basically everything gentle XD

So yah I give up, a person I hold very dear shouted at me to stop it already that it's just hurting me and nothing else. (That person talks to their sub-c and apparently their sub-c is always with mine but apparently my sub-c is acting all like me gentle, loving and caring.....so....I am out of ideas what is going on)

Lucid dreams are often used to control nightmares; everyone has nightmares, it's something in our nature.

Do not give up...my friend it honestly sounds like you might be trying too hard to control your dreams. If you try TOO hard you WILL wake up! You have to "go with the flow" of things in a dream. Even when you realize its a dream.

If you push your limits too far even in a dream your physical body gets startled and you wake up. Try one more thing before quitting...

Meditation

If you can learn to control your thoughts through meditation techniques you will be able to control your dreams better...thats my philosophy anyways. I suffer from bipolar as a mental illness and I still can control my dreams only because I can control my thoughts as well. It is tough but dont quit.

Try this for me. I was really excited to find this website when I did...

Sincerely,
~Icy

Well when I meditate I usually get attacked, everything is peacefull at first (Even thoo it's hard to keep the visualisation since I can't visualise too much...all is black and white) and then suddently for exaple alot of swords fall from above around me and then animals come (Well usually eevee's) and then try to restrain me and force me out and if I fight it then they will keep on coming if I go with the flow my whole visualisation will blow up XD and become something weird and most probably...nothing at all XD just blackness but yah I have no rushing toughts if I don't visualise anything. As for lucid dreams I DON'T have control, not even over myself, I am lucid and I do try stuff that are lucid but I can't control myself I just watch from first perspective, I don't even feel my body (Cept if it comes to someone hurting me, like once I got shot and such XD) and I basically do what I want to do most in LD (Usually call out to my sub-c) which ends to for example once when I called out I saw a moneky in japanese like clothes looking at me, then after a bit it looked scared and was bleeding out of it's heart and it said "RUN! THEY ARE COMING TO GET YOU!" and then it dropped dead....xD;;;; and then alot of people came rushing at me, and I always run, and even thoo I would think it's just a dream I should stop and confront them, I keep on running away, I can't control myself XD even thoo I am lucid.

So basically when I am lucid I don't feel my body nor control myself the person that is me just does what I would want mostly to do and is kinda thinking of the stuff happening as if he was a "Idiot me" like a child would think. And meditations are just chaotic or pure silence where I don't do a thing. But yah the person that wanted me to stop calmed down and told me they just overreacted...so sorry about making the topic but I promised to do it xD;;