Lucid Dreamt, Pretty Exciting
For years I've constantly tried to lucid dream, spent months and weeks on end trying to DILD and WBTB, but with hardly ever any results. I've had a total of 2 lucid ish dreams, where even though I was partially aware, it was brief and still pretty hazy.
Just today I accidentally had one. I was trying to take a nap on my friends bed, and I fell asleep like normal, you know where your mind and sense of self sort of evaporates as sleep just happens. Well at some point my friend just started laughing at something on her computer, and somehow that snapped me into myself from wherever my mind was floating around. The second I realized where I was, I felt that all too familiar sensations of sleep paralysis, it was weird though like how the visual hallucinations started so much more in depth, like something was rapidly rushing towards me that I could almost barely see, but still couldn't. Then everything stopped, but it was all silent. There was no sound, no sight, nothing, but I knew that absence of any sensation was me actually in a dream.
I remembered something posted here "If you can't see anything open your dream eyes" and I thought "Well then I'll open my eyes IRL and it'll ruin it" since I've felt on the edge so many times and opened it to my normal room in real life. Figured I had to try anyways, and I saw my eyes slowly open into a completely black room. Thought "Well time to give myself some structures" and thought to get light, so a TV appeared in the middle of the room, on to a white screen. I figured "Well I need to actually get attached to this place" so I wouldn't wake up, and added a couple of walls, and the light worked as expected, you know brighter closer to the TV and the walls darker. I realized that I was wearing glasses, so I tried taking them off and everything got really blurry. Thought "Well this is a dream, I can refocus" and I tried, then the TV turned on to Left 4 Dead, I just needed something with more detail to it to work with and for some reason that game just popped out. Weird though considering I haven't touched that games in years.
I've constantly practiced feeling textures, so when I can get in a dream I'd be able to make a convincing reality. I walked up to the desk holding the TV and started rubbing my hands on it, feeling the smooth grain merge into coarser bits of uneven wooding from years of abuse. Then a door appeared at the side and I saw light just pouring out of it. "Sweet I can have something to work with there" went to the door, put the hand on the handle, and as I was turning it I suddenly felt discomfort in my leg and thought "God damn this is going to force me awake" I tried to ignore it, but the dream started distorting, and the screwed up vision came back and I figured "Gonna lose it anyways at this rate" and turned my body, and when my head hit the pillow I realized I snapped myself it. I tried so hard to bring it back, but I couldn't.
It's so disappointing, my previous lucid dreams, really I was only self aware, I barely had control of anything, and even then my awareness was waning. I'd completely given up on even trying. This is so inspiring though, I don't know how to replicate these results. I'm afraid to get exited, try again, then be in the same place I've been all these years.
It was really exciting though
