Woohooo! I did it and a long one

I am soo happy - finally!!


After one almost WILD and two mini-lucid episodes - finally - the big one since joining up here!!

Started out with me putting the alarm 4 h after falling asleep and trying WILD once more.
I almost managed - there were some strange sensations and slipping and sliding about - but I came out of these with too much awakeness after a while
And got impatient and fell asleep.
I use an I-Phone now for pre-journalling - and I had journalled away one first dream before.
The following dream had me sleeping over at a friend´s flat (both grown ups) - and I woke up there - and didn´t do a RC unfortunately.
It was a lot of fiddling, and the I Phone didn´t work (ha!) and she thought it was all bs anyway with my LD-thing - next was getting into an argument with two other women also sleeping there and this and that - got it all on tape.

I will have to do something with this thread - put it in my DJ or edit in here - I am again too impatient to take it one thing after the other.
Anyway - woke up for real from this false awakening - journalled - fell asleep.

And again woke up at this friend´s place.
And I thought - noo way - and made the nose-plug RC.
Three times, cause I couldn´t believe it anyway!
Yepp - lucid!

Told my friend so - this time she laughed and congratulated and I went in the air and zipped about her like some crazed bumble-bee or something.
Then we went out - she away the normal way and me through the window - a big one.
Outside was a nice park - not as heartbreakingly beautiful as in my second life-time longer lucid - but really nice.
I made a point of looking at things in detail - incl. my hands - and they were 100 % life-like - so good to use the plug - also the thumb through palm doesn´t work reliably - too strong of a body scheme I guess.

Okay then there were some older people standing about in a bit of a panic - telling me there was somebody suffocating behind some wooden houses - and she would have an orthesis like for broken cervical spine on her neck and they were very worried.
First I did one more nose plug and then made fun of them - but anyhow - I got curious and wanted to see another scene so in the end I walked with one of the old ladies.
Forgot to ask anybody for what they were thankful for unluckily..
Also the other TOTMs..
Right - it was a young woman, fully healthy - no orthesis, smoking a cigarette and laughing at us.
The control thing is not yet ingrained - because I started freezing and flew back into this flat to search for more clothes..:wtf:

Well - all in all I was really squealing with joy - it was great.
When I hovered over the piano - I saw several expensive vases.
Ah - dutchraptor!! - I thought and tried to do one of his tasks.
The first vase bounced off the ground - the second was already broken and just stood there as a jigsaw - but the third on - crystal-glass - that one broke really nicely - and I had no bad consciousness at all.

Really absolutely being sure, that this was my dream and only that.
Buut - next thing I tried - well - these windows were like many old houses have them in Germany - big window and above it - separate small windows - so small, you had to wriggle through.
I somehow knew I was afraid to do that - it was 4th story and I couldn´t like fly out normally - I was afraid to fall.
Bit disappointed with myself - I went back down and after not long woke up.

I would say the whole thing was several minutes.
As said - there is more, but nothing special and I simply had to churn out this thread now!
Thank you DV!!
Woooohoooo!!!

:boogie:

Congratulations !
Hopefully, the first of many. :D

Thank you!
Yeah - I really hope so too!

This waking up in the middle of the night and trying for it with WILD seems a great incubation for DILDing!
I am really so happy!
Not counting on it, I didn´t think about any tasks or my own goals before going to bed - but I was so clear and had so much time - I think, I could have easily managed some of the stuff.
Next I get myself a pair of wings from Ophelia´s tasks of the month thing!
I hope..

:armflap:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by StephL

Thank you!
Yeah - I really hope so too!

This waking up in the middle of the night and trying for it with WILD seems a great incubation for DILDing!

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Congrats ! :) Wilding can turn into DILD, i have noticed it too. That´s why i don´t mind failing at it ! Indeed, SSILD wisely takes great advantage of this, i think.

I have some links on my signature about this, if you are interested.

Good luck StephL :)

Congrats on long lucid! :goodjob2:
Progress is always awesome, and good luck with TOTM tasks! ;)

*Moved to Lucid Experiences*

Yeah - I looked at the links - and - this was only one time now - but it feels it will be working like that further on, too!

I would love to do a WILD with separating my dream-body from my normal one and stand besides my bed, though.
I really wonder if it might not freak me out a bit - also if some people lay themselves back into their normal body, when this happens..?
And if that "works"..

Going through the HI/HH stuff has it´s own appeal for me - it´s maybe a bit childish - but I find it fascinating.
The one time, I had these full on was really something completely new on my scale of experiences - vibrations and seeing a mandala.

But very good to know, that it is good for something, even if it "fails".

I could have gotten there with my first dream after the attempt already, since I couldn´t get the I-Phone working.

Maybe if I keep on journalling this way - it would be a great hint at a false awakening.
I will also really get into the habit to RC every time, I seemingly wake up.

May it feel real as much as it may - just do it every time.
These false awakenings could be turned into a real opportunity, I guess.

___

Ah - thanks Scionox - I noticed my misplacement like 5 min. too late!
:)

Congrats steph that's awesome. Nice to know you've read the guide. I'm sure you'll do fine with your dream control over time. Great that you were able to remember a task like that. Keep t up and you'll master lucidity ;)

Great job Steph!!...and to many more! :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by StephL

Yeah - I looked at the links - and - this was only one time now - but it feels it will be working like that further on, too!

I would love to do a WILD with separating my dream-body from my normal one and stand besides my bed, though.
I really wonder if it might not freak me out a bit - also if some people lay themselves back into their normal body, when this happens..?
And if that "works"..

Going through the HI/HH stuff has it´s own appeal for me - it´s maybe a bit childish - but I find it fascinating.
The one time, I had these full on was really something completely new on my scale of experiences - vibrations and seeing a mandala.

But very good to know, that it is good for something, even if it "fails".

I could have gotten there with my first dream after the attempt already, since I couldn´t get the I-Phone working.

Maybe if I keep on journalling this way - it would be a great hint at a false awakening.
I will also really get into the habit to RC every time, I seemingly wake up.

May it feel real as much as it may - just do it every time.
These false awakenings could be turned into a real opportunity, I guess.

---

These happen to me very often when i do SSILD, and it´s like getting out of my bed with a lighter body. It's not a creepy feeling per se. But the HH before the OBE can be weird for me, sometimes. Also i usually don´t experience a return to my body, it´s more like the dream fades, but if i am on my back i may experience SP which usually is good to DEILD.

Unfortunately, for me at least, WILDs/ OBEs/ DEILDs are much more unstable. It feels like i have to build the dream from the beginning. For instance, vision can be initially impaired.

Steph Repeats Herself Alert

Quote:

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Originally Posted by dutchraptor

Congrats steph that's awesome. Nice to know you've read the guide. I'm sure you'll do fine with your dream control over time. Great that you were able to remember a task like that. Keep t up and you'll master lucidity ;)

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Attachment 5904

Yeah - I read your guide - I find it great - actually I even linked up to it twice in beyond dreaming.
I had the feeling a bit of - well - rationalism - might be of help for one or the other beyonder, who is maybe worrying and fretting too much.

Actually - the vase-smashing was the absolutely best for me of this dream!
I remembered it, and it was interesting to have the first two behave strangely - bouncing off the floor and the second one collapsing into shards when lifted.
My subconsciousness threw up my friend´s vases for me - wouldn´t have thought of it from prospective memory alone.


I hovered over her piano - and there they were - so I didn´t manifest them or some such manoeuvre - I found them.
And had my memory intact - all the time, actually - but only if I "asked" it something - like your topics.
I didn´t do the other ones, because I saw something, I was sure I´d be frightened to do - the small window thing.

And then I woke up shortly after.
So I was sort of still on track..
So it´s walls, small holes in the wall, falling backwards (not a problem I think, neither burning my stuff - except for making the fire..?).

So - next time I try to manifest something - better somebody - but that is maybe hard - but I will try.
Like with doors and turning - pure would be quite some thrill, though - from thin air!
Attachment 5905

• Do you know that you are dreaming? check
• Are you aware of the consequences of your actions? check
• Do you know what it means to be dreaming? check
• Do you have a memory of waking life? Not as a background full of all the closer contents - like these that are overlaying the scenery. But once I "asked" my memory something - I got it.
  But sort of the background is missing - from which to know, what would be a good question. If that makes any sense.
• Do you know that the dream world is entirely safe? Intellectually I do - but physically - I was afraid to go head first from a hole in the wall in the 4th story.
  

Quote:

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Originally Posted by fogelbise

Great job Steph!!...and to many more! :D

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Now for the months and the gratefulness!
Thank you very muc for your help in my workbook!

:bliss:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by VagalTone

These happen to me very often when i do SSILD, and it´s like getting out of my bed with a lighter body. It's not a creepy feeling per se. But the HH before the OBE can be weird for me, sometimes. Also i usually don´t experience a return to my body, it´s more like the dream fades, but if i am on my back i may experience SP which usually is good to DEILD.

Unfortunately, for me at least, WILDs/ OBEs/ DEILDs are much more unstable. It feels like i have to build the dream from the beginning. For instance, vision can be initially impaired.

---

I see.
This is very interesting - thank you!
Going to write a lot here it seems..:cheeky:

Spoiler for some background - repeat:

My very first real lucid was like 20 years ago - Castaneda was all the rage..
So this worked with looking at my hands - but the realization, that my body was still at home - and I was completely in another reality - with no holes or whatever - that scared me.

Because I didn´t really know what it means to be dreaming I think, these books said some stuff about getting trapped in that world.
All it needed was an adequately nasty being was somehow interested in doing me harm.

I feel silly now - but if something like books can get you lucid dreams - pretty good argument to believe the rest as well.
And the rest - if taken seriously - is supposedly very dangerous.

And the walls were coming down.
So I woke myself up with all my will-power - imagining my real body.
It worked - but right into SP.
I didn´t have any hallucinations - not even something neutral/nice like it was when trying WILD once.
But I was maybe never more scared anyway - thinking, my dream-body might not properly stick in and I could die.
Well.

Luckily I came around to the above complimented rationalism not long after that.
Was wishful thinking coming true and deterring me.

So - you basically say, that for this standing up, which I would love to experience - you got to be in SP?
It would make sense to me.

What I meant, was right after getting out - laying back into your body and try to reconnect.
I went back into my body and into SP from a lucid dream - but that was instantaneous.

And if I understood you - that is also how you leave such an OBE* - instantaneous - not spatial?

The difficulties with the senses might be because one wants something special.
Everything lifelike in a place one knows into very fine detail - and one´s dream-body and one´s body.

What do you do, when you end up in relative sensory isolation?
Can you turn the senses on in some sort of technique?


I also wonder, if I ever get a nasty HH - I somehow don´t think so - I didn´t while in a real panic from SP - so - maybe never.


*In my view - OBE - out of body experience is correct in the same way as an UFO is an unidentified flying object - namely everything flying, where nobody knows what it is (maybe yet).
But just to make sure - I talk about what I think, is a special difficult sort of lucid dream - not AP.

Congratulations, Steph! So happy for you.

Great job and sounds like you had a blast! Keep up the great lucid dreams with many more to come! :goodjob:

Thank you Johanna and bemistaken!
Tonight the next try!

Last night is totally gone.. as was expected.
Either party or LD for me - too old for both...Attachment 5911
But what is funny - my mates are all open to the idea - rough guys rather - but I seemingly was convincing..

@StephL

Quote:

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So - you basically say, that for this standing up, which I would love to experience - you got to be in SP?
It would make sense to me.

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I get the feeling that i can stand up at two occasions: after i perform SSILD and fall asleep usually on my back ( much more likely) and after a brief awakening ( specially from lucids and on my back too ). I have only experienced full SP twice or so, most often it's a slight feeling or knowingness that i am in SP but it usually doesn´t catch my attention and i just feel it´s time to OBE and imagine my dream body moving, or rubbing my hands, touching my dream body.

I usually don´t care at all about SP, and this is what most people here recommend. But, for some reason, it usually happens when i can fall asleep after SSILD or WILD on my back, or slightly on my back.

Quote:

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What I meant, was right after getting out - laying back into your body and try to reconnect.
I went back into my body and into SP from a lucid dream - but that was instantaneous.

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i probably misunderstood you :) . I know a lot of people can see their bodies in the bed, but i don´t, so i never tried to reconnect.

Quote:

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What I meant, was right after getting out - laying back into your body and try to reconnect.
I went back into my body and into SP from a lucid dream - but that was instantaneous.

And if I understood you - that is also how you leave such an OBE* - instantaneous - not spatial?

The difficulties with the senses might be because one wants something special.
Everything lifelike in a place one knows into very fine detail - and one´s dream-body and one´s body.

What do you do, when you end up in relative sensory isolation?
Can you turn the senses on in some sort of technique?


I also wonder, if I ever get a nasty HH - I somehow don´t think so - I didn´t while in a real panic from SP - so - maybe never.


*In my view - OBE - out of body experience is correct in the same way as an UFO is an unidentified flying object - namely everything flying, where nobody knows what it is (maybe yet).
But just to make sure - I talk about what I think, is a special difficult sort of lucid dream - not AP.

---

I think there are some tips around about sensory impairment. I just try to move my eyes and struggle a bit :) Sometimes i feel like i can´t move and i keep pushing :).

I think this happens because you are not fully disconnected from your physical body, and you are still aware of it, and processing input. It´s like a battle between two sensorial modes and i feel i have to build my dream *, and very often it fades too son ( hope i can fix it ), probably because i put too much energy on stabilization ? That´s why i have more stability with DILDs, but not the same control and awareness.

In my understanding OBE feels exactly like LD, but you start in your bedroom, or sometimes in other house :), but i always feel like getting out. I don´t know what is AP, but i suspect this is all the same phenomena.

Hope i have helped, StephL, but of course everybody is different.

* I have to try a more passive style, i have had some success with counting while feeling myself in the transition, but i always always want to do something :)

SSILD!
Now - second mention of you - I looked it up.
Now this is great!!

I found this marvellous source in a thread on here: Direct link: Senses Initiated Lucid Dream (SSILD) Official Tutorial

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cosmic Iron

Q: I get this itch... how am I supposed to stay still?

A: You are not supposed to stay still! If you have an itch just scratch it. If you want to roll you roll. With SSILD you need to stay as comfortable as possible! Just do an extra cycle to compensate and you will be fine. This is in fact a major advantage over virtually all other methods.

Q: I got insomnia after doing SSILD...

A: Actually, performing SSILD correctly is likely to cure your insomnia. There is a remarkable resemblance between SSILD and Betty Erickson's self-hypnosis routine! Now back to the question. We need to first identify if we are taking about "real insomnia" or "false insomnia". Remember, SSILD likes to create these super realistic false awakenings. It is very possible for you to enter an FA while still performing the SSILD cycles. In this case you will be trying to fall asleep while you are already sleeping! Next time you find yourself unable to fall asleep during a cycle, you should definitely perform a reality check, no matter how convinced you are! For people who indeed suffers loss of sleep due to SSILD, I suggest you tweak your routines in two areas: 1. Reduce the amount of sleep before waking up for SSILD. 2. Reduce the time you spend on staying awake prior to the exercise.

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This is so much better, than anything I have read, I have to say.
The whole thing - but the above are the cherry-tops.

I feel compelled to cite some more.
Somehow - except the core to cycle the senses - I was arriving at some of the conclusions myself.
Like always RC when getting out of bed.
Always.
Maybe I over-read something - but there are so many tips when to RC - but I did not notice lots of emphasis on this.
But exactly that worked for me.
Directly after the WILD try - false awakening at my friend´s place # 1 with defunct I-Phone, for real and journalling, false awakening at my friend´s place # 2.
Aha-effect.

Here the joyous news - in my view:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cosmic Iron

Design Philosophy

SSILD is designed from the ground up to be simple, "idiot-proof" even. It does not utilize advanced techniques such as relaxation and visualization, and stays away from delicate, non-measurable mental exercises. It despises the notion that lucid dreaming is more "art" than "technique". It does not require you to be gifted or creative, in fact, there is little room for improvisation. Just follow the simple steps outlined here and you should be all set. SSILD is made so concise that if you mix in other stuff you may actually end up creating negative impact on its performance.

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I shorten up a bit as I understand - please correct, if I got something wrong anybody.
It is all based on cycles, which you repeat when you usually would go about the "stay still part" of WILD.

You go eyes, ears, skin/body-sensitivity and take in the nothing or the external or the emerging.
Don´t push anything away, don´t visualize, no mantras.

Four/five times rather fast - then slowly three four/times - the following is about the slow repetitions of the cycle - # 5:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cosmic Iron

This step [the slow cycles = 5.] is the most important one. You should take extra time during each step. Thanks to step 4, at this point you should have become sufficiently relaxed and you will find focusing on the senses become much easier. For example, your eyes will feel more relaxed, and you may get visuals such as lights, colors, or movements. You might also notice that the external sounds seem to be fading into the background. Do not get excited though. You should observe quietly and after a while move on to other senses. As far as timing goes we are flexible, but in general each step should take no fewer than 30 seconds.

During the slow cycles, you may become distracted by a lot of random thoughts. This is a good indication that you are close to falling asleep. Do not try to suppress these thoughts -- they are your friends. Imagine they are gentle waves and let them carry you and wash you away from the shore of reality. You will occasionally become alert and realize you have lost track of your exercise. No worry, just start from the beginning of a cycle and you should be fine.

6. Return to the most comfortable position and allow yourself fall into sleep as quickly as possible. Do not think too much and do not worry if it will work. The quicker you can fall asleep the more likely it will work. Have faith!

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Seems like the most natural way to go about experiencing the outer and the within. The easiest actually.
Do not think of a pink elephant..

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cosmic Iron

The repeated stimulation on the senses enables SSILD to condition our mind and body into a subtle state that is optimized for lucid dream to occur naturally.

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A hybrid of WILD and DILD and with high potential for the "leaving the body" schnick-schnack - but also on the other hand rather putting the other schnick-schnack (HH/HI) on a low importance level.
And good for FA (false awakenings), which seem great to me.

I find this lovely - really!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by VagalTone

@StephL

I get the feeling that i can stand up at two occasions: after i perform SSILD and fall asleep usually on my back ( much more likely) and after a brief awakening ( specially from lucids and on my back too ). I have only experienced full SP twice or so, most often it's a slight feeling or knowingness that i am in SP but it usually doesn´t catch my attention and i just feel it´s time to OBE and imagine my dream body moving, or rubbing my hands, touching my dream body.

I usually don´t care at all about SP, and this is what most people here recommend. But, for some reason, it usually happens when i can fall asleep after SSILD or WILD on my back, or slightly on my back.

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Do you normally sleep on your back?
I find the tip great, to do it how you usually do if you are prone to insomnia - and if in danger to fall completely asleep too fast - differently.

When I had the one SP - I tried with all my might to move.
I imagine, once you do not want to move anyway - it will not stress you in the least?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by VagalTone

i probably misunderstood you :) . I know a lot of people can see their bodies in the bed, but i don´t, so i never tried to reconnect.

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Yeah - a bit - I might one day try this out just for curiosity´s sake - manifesting a "false real body" and doing a Dracula in the coffin.
I will put this in my illusion thread - but it is so very much is on the same level - but in waking state.

Watch this - it is so interesting:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCQbygjG0RU

Quote:

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Originally Posted by VagalTone

I think there are some tips around about sensory impairment. I just try to move my eyes and struggle a bit :) Sometimes i feel like i can´t move and i keep pushing :).

I think this happens because you are not fully disconnected from your physical body, and you are still aware of it, and processing input.

It´s like a battle between two sensorial modes and i feel i have to build my dream *, and very often it fades too son ( hope i can fix it ), probably because i put too much energy on stabilization ? That´s why i have more stability with DILDs, but not the same control and awareness.

---

Quote:

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Originally Posted by VagalTone

* I have to try a more passive style, i have had some success with counting while feeling myself in the transition, but i always always want to do something :)

---

I think, Cosmic Iron advises against counting?
I will try this all out!

The following sounds relevant:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cosmic Iron

Be a passive observer and wait for the sensations to amplify. You could also nudge them a little bit mentally, but do not overdo it. As soon as the sensations become clearly identifiable you should be able to perform a successful reality check and get up. Typically the dream will start from your bedroom because subconsciously that's where you expect you will be. You can also stay in bed longer and use visualization to create a dream scene manually. In any event, it is important for you to stay calm when encountering hypnagogia. Do not speak to yourselves or analyze it mentally as doing so can cause the sensations to fade and eventually wake you up.

---

Quote:

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Originally Posted by VagalTone

In my understanding OBE feels exactly like LD, but you start in your bedroom, or sometimes in other house :), but i always feel like getting out. I don´t know what is AP, but i suspect this is all the same phenomena.

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That´s what I suspected - good you confirm that it feels like the same thing.

"Astral Projection" - it is linked even on here - a full kaleidoscope of esoteric special effects in my view and unnecessary.
I wanted to distance myself from the term, but keep up the OBE.
It seems, there is no need, though.
I think I drop using it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by VagalTone

Hope i have helped, StephL, but of course everybody is different.

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This helped big time - can´t thank you enough - sounds like SSILD could "work magic"!

Attachment 5917

Hi StephL :)

Your posts perspire such a very good energy and enthusiasm ! I am confident you will "soon" master this stuff

Quote:

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Do you normally sleep on your back?
I find the tip great, to do it how you usually do if you are prone to insomnia - and if in danger to fall completely asleep too fast - differently.

When I had the one SP - I tried with all my might to move.
I imagine, once you do not want to move anyway - it will not stress you in the least?

---

I don´t usually sleep on my back, but it happens sometimes as a conscious / uncouncious reaction to protect my right shoulder and collar bone discomfort after some sleep on my right side. usually my nose stiffs a bit when i sleep to left :) and i can´t sleep on my stomach . so there's only one alternative : try to alleviate my discomfort sleeping on my back, or just slightly.

I can tell you that it´s becoming easier to fall asleep on my back, but i won´t force myself to do so. Anyway i think there is interesting territory to explore regarding sleep position ( for instance, i know some people have success sleeping on their couch, reclined, and this reminds of matrix :) ).

The Secret Posture for Triggering Wake Initiated Lucid Dreams and Out-of-Body Experiences | dream studies portal

If the problem is falling asleep too fast, i think the best tip is to hold an upright forearm while performing SSILD, or MILD, and then allow it to return to normal position and fall asleep.

As i said i have the feeling that i am getting into SP or that i am still in SP, but i don´t think too much about it. But i will tell you one thing: if i am home alone, i do have some worries that i might experience crazy hallucinations :cheeky: in that situation i try to free myself as soon as possible of SP sensations.

But to be honest i think it´s very easy to use it to OBE/ DEILD, and it´s usually very fast. As soon as you are feeling your dream body you don´t notice your SP.

Quote:

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I think, Cosmic Iron advises against counting?
I will try this all out

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Yes, while doing SSILD you should not count in your head. But i do it for DEILD not for SSILD. This a Laberge technique. You probably noticed that after several hours of sleep, specially on weekends, your brief awakenings lead you into the same previous dream or to a new one. So, if you wake up and are so tired or sleepy that you didn´t move, and you feel you are falling asleep again, you can try to remember to count to keep your awareness, perhaps with the help of your breathing, like « breath in 1, breath out 2, and so on. Soon, you will see your new dream forming :holyshit: and it´s here that i am usually too aggressive, when i should be more passive :). The best dreams happen usually on that late hours, but the irony is that if i try too hard it disrupts my sleep balance and i can´t reach those juicy REM periods.

Quote:

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This helped big time - can´t thank you enough - sounds like SSILD could "work magic"!

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Well, i very much like SSILD, but «magic » is a strong word :) For me magic would be to have 3-4 lucids a night in the most natural way. I think my expectation is too high, though :uhm:

Great post - thank you!
I usually sleep half on my stomach - mostly facing to the right.
I will have to see, what is a problem - not falling asleep or falling asleep too fast and loosing awareness.
What I did was done on my back.

You are right with the "magic" - niice.
To be honest - I am sometimes a bit childish and wanted to use the little wizard.
I do not even know why.

Magic is a huge word and should not be abused and such made fuzzy!
There - me posting impulsive nonsense!

Attachment 5923

Quote:

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Originally Posted by StephL

Great post - thank you!
I usually sleep half on my stomach - mostly facing to the right.
I will have to see, what is a problem - not falling asleep or falling asleep too fast and loosing awareness.
What I did was done on my back.

You are right with the "magic" - niice.
To be honest - I am sometimes a bit childish and wanted to use the little wizard.
I do not even know why.

Magic is a huge word and should not be abused and such made fuzzy!
There - me posting impulsive nonsense!

Attachment 5923

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No, no. That´s absolutely great. Enthusiasm is very important. You are using the right words ( am i contradicting myself ? ) :)

Sort of!
And I like it!
:shadewink: