Awareness Without Perception
I wanted to share an extrordinary experience I had last night, although it might seem unbelievable.
For the past year, I've been having dreamless states of awareness in which I'm asleep, but aware that I'm asleep. No dreams, no thoughts, no perceptions. I can only hold this state for a few minutes at a time. Usually it ends because I wake up or start having thoughts and/or dreams.
Last night however was a game-changer. It all started with a horrifying nightmare. All of the dreams I had after that were lucid, fueled by my terror of being caught off guard by another nightmare. I had two dreamless states, but unlike usual, they lasted at least 30 minutes (confirmed by checking clock before and after).
Something especially extordinary happened in one of that that has changed the way I view consciousness, as well.
I sleep next to my SO, who rolled over to reach for their phone on the nightstand. Despite being asleep, I was profoundly aware of what my SO was doing in the waking reality. How? I couldn't see, hear, or feel anything. I did not have any perceptions whatsoever. Everything for me was a silent, weightless abyss. Nothing. Yet I knew exactly when and how my SO had rolled over to check their phone. I was so amazed, I woke myself and commented "Oh my god! I was asleep, but I knew exactly what you were doing just now."
My SO is used to this nonsense from me and told me basically "Whatever."
Haha.
It's amazing, though! I have directly observed that our minds are capable of being aware of things that we don't consciously perceive in the moment. Awareness without perception.
I look forward to more discoveries in my exploration of consciousness, and may you all as well.
