This is getting disturbingly real
Hi,
This might seem strange to some of you. I just found out there was a thing called lucid dreaming. I have been "doing" it for several years. It first appeared after one of my close childhood friends died suddenly and I had her coming to me in dreams. And I kept getting more aware of it being dreams, because I always found little things that didn't add up, but then conciously made the decision to act like I didn't notice it because I didn't want her to disappear because then I couldn't talk to her. Now, a few years later, I can talk to pretty much anyone I want or a random dead person might appear and I can talk to the person like any regular person and ask them questions. I can do fairly complicated calculations in my dreams and they add up when I do them again when I'm awake. I get to "know" people inmy dreams that I have never seen before and yet I remember their name when I wake up (although the name sometimes seems like jibberish, it often contains an anagram for a quite regular name). I can look at computer screens see a part of some text and weirdly enough when I look again it's often still there when I look again. I remember color, design, locations, names, amounts, dates... The thing that disturbs me the most is the false awakening that usually follow these dreams (which I'm sad to say that I have every single night), and those false awakenings are so real and I never "start" the dream over before I find something that doesn't add up. I can be sitting and listening to a lecture (and remembering what it was about) and then find myself back in my bedroom because the professor said something that didn't add up. Sometimes I get scared that finally my false awakenings will reach "perfection" and I won't wake up. I know it's silly, but you propably know what I mean. Since this isn't really a desired ability, for me at least, how can I get rid of it, or use it in a less scary way? And how can I get the "darkness" and "heavy" atmosphere out of the dreams?
