Thread: I'll Never Have Sex In A Dream..

Neather have I, if you want to have dreams about a pecific person just tell your self to, and expect one, it might take awhile to get it to work though. although you say you didn't have sex, becouse you didn't know her, you were lucid in the dream right, sounds like your looking for dream romance, well practice having dreams about her all the time, it will happen eventualy.

It's like I said in the dream recall post, just command your mind to dream about her intill you do.

That's hard to do, getting to know someone in your dreams. Simply because dreams are created by your own mind, and so the dream characters are also created by you. Sure, it will be interesting to see where you go with that, but just be aware, the characters resemble parts of your personality aswell.

And sometimes, unexpectedly they will do something quite realstic...sometimes I think dream characters are processed somewhere in the brain where you can't be conscience of- so you won't know their every move (but that might be a different story, maybe you could?)...

If it was a ld, you shouldn't be embarassed by what happens in it! I respect your opinion, but how can you can be so serious over this matter?

What makes you think I am taking this too serious? -- Maybe I should start using smilies.

Originally Posted by theyearthreethousand

What makes you think I am taking this too serious? -- Maybe I should start using smilies.
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It's only because of what you did in that dream. You hesitated to, ah, make love to 'the most beautiful dream character', because you didn't know them well enough, or because they were a stranger! It was a dream and you didn't take the opportunity to experience what you thought would be a pretty amazing.

It sounds like you've taken it seriously only because of:

Trying to be the gentleman, I sat back down and tried my very hardest not to stare at her body - I thought she would just walk away.. but no, she sits down beside me really close making me the shyest & most un-comfortable guy you can imagine.
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It's just how you react, I mean you're treating the situation like it was real, and feeling sensitive about the DC etc.

I guess I am sounding a bit too judgmental, I don't mean to take it this far-don't take it personally.

Maybe your just naturally a very nice, respecting, pure spirited man, and you can stay that way even in a lucid dream.

I don't know honestly, I wasn't there, did this ld feel a little too real for you to experience it otherwise?

Okay... interesting scenario.

But did you do the right thing?

Dreams are not so much about strict interpretation -- what they mean -- but about the choices we make and how we respond to the Action of the Dream.

If we choose rightly, then it is like Passing a Test, and we move on.

But if the Higher Dream Mind is unsatisfied with our Progress, then the Dream is repeated, or the Motif is continued in slightly different scenarios until we get it right.

Now, as a Spiritualist, I greatly admire anybody who has transcended Sexuality.

But if you have not transcended sexuality, and you are in fact a heterosexual, then I wonder why one would refuse to 'dance' when all the music is playing.

Anyway, you will soon know whether you did the correct thing. Your dreams will either move on, or you will be given a second, third or fourth chance to Tango.

But I can sympathize with your reluctance and that predictable awkwardness. When exactly does one make a move, and what is that 'move' supposed to be. And Movies and Television are little help -- I can hardly imagine that people actually behave like that. Oh, but Movies and Television have time constraints... they need to make things happen quickly, but in real life, there really is no great hurry and one can take a few easy minutes to make one's initial moves.

I once read the Kama Sutra, and it has a very detailed discussion on 'first moves' with new and relatively innocent brides. Anybody who does not know exactly how to go from talking to moving should read the Kama Sutra and that will give you some insight into how the transition can be conducted with the least amount of awkwardness and confusion.

I think it's kinda silly that you won't do anything with a girl in an LD. It's not as though it would have any real consiquences in real life. I really try not to care what I do in LD's, that's the whole fun of having them - being free to do as you wish. It sounds as though you're sucking the fun out of yours though!

Originally Posted by theyearthreethousand

Trying to be the gentleman,[/b]

Originally Posted by theyearthreethousand

making me the shyest & most un-comfortable guy you can imagine.[/b]

Originally Posted by theyearthreethousand

which proved to be quite.. embarassing to say the least.[/b]

Are you sure that you hadn't lost lucidity by the time this happened? Because if you were lucid, than this is pretty much the lowest-level lucidity I have ever heard of. At even a moderate level of lucidity you would have been lucid enough to realize that there would be no social consequences for your actions, and therefore all shyness and embarrassment would be gone.

Originally Posted by theyearthreethousand

Dreams are not so much about strict interpretation -- what they mean -- but about the choices we make and how we respond to the Action of the Dream.[/b]

I agree. The real value in interpretting dreams lies in analyzing the choices that you made in the dream, in order to learn about yourself. Which is basically what we are discussing in this particular topic, my only point is that I don't believe there is much point in trying to "interpret" every weird little thing that occurs or appears in your dream. So anyway, back on topic now..

Of course, I respect all of your opinions.. so, thank you.
When I woke up from this dream.. I did wonder to myself - why the hell didn't I take that opportunity to have some great fun?
Believe me, I was lucid in this dream.. the touch of her soft hands sent shivers down my spine. But I suppose I still haven't completely grasped that anything I do in a dream wont have any consequences in the real world. Which is quite pathetic considering the amount of LD's I have had so far - why else would I deny her? It's a real headache for me thinking about this.

Another point that may play a big part in my decision making was the scenario - as this woman popped up quite randomly; I wasn't expecting this to happen.. as I was in the middle of rescuing some people who needed my help.

"Anyway, you will soon know whether you did the correct thing. Your dreams will either move on, or you will be given a second, third or fourth chance to Tango."

I do hope you are correct Leo Volont, I really do.


Thanks again guys.

Originally Posted by badassbob

I think it's kinda silly that you won't do anything with a girl in an LD. It's not as though it would have any real consiquences in real life. I really try not to care what I do in LD's, that's the whole fun of having them - being free to do as you wish. It sounds as though you're sucking the fun out of yours though!
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Actually there ARE repurcussions in real life.

If one is NOT dating, then being able to score, even in a dream, is likely to give one some experience, some swagger, and a certain degree of confidence. Practice exercising one's charm is good practice whether done in a dream or done in reality.

But if one is dating, and gets laid in a dream, well, what happens if one prefers the Dream Girl to the real girl. It is bound to hurt the relationship. One would certainly wonder why one is paying for so much steak and lobster and drinks, extra movie tickets, and putting up with her girl talk and occassional nagging, when you know there is Dream Girl out there and she puts you to none of that aggrevation or expense.

So if you LIKE the girl you are dating, then it is best not to ask for any trouble or complications.

Oh, and you know, you don't have to have sex in dreams. Now that I am an old man I mostly just flirt with my dream dates... take them dancing and dining. There is a great deal of laughing and smiling, but we keep our cloths on. And, honestly, and this is a lot of experience talking, it is just as fun.

Originally Posted by Leo

If one is NOT dating, then being able to score, even in a dream, is likely to give one some experience, some swagger, and a certain degree of confidence. Practice exercising one's charm is good practice whether done in a dream or done in reality.

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This is exactly what I need to obtain, just some self confidence around women. Of course I try my hardest in real-life.. but if I can get some experience while I'm sleeping? That's a bonus.
Maybe -just- sex is not what I need to gain some confidence.. - & not what I am after? Maybe it is romance?
I will try and do some searching tonight.

God bless.

Go for it! Have the most powerful lucid you can imagine, and wake up later with a smile!

Originally Posted by theyearthreethousand

This is exactly what I need to obtain, just some self confidence around women. Of course I try my hardest in real-life.. but if I can get some experience while I'm sleeping? That's a bonus.
Maybe -just- sex is not what I need to gain some confidence.. - & not what I am after? Maybe it is romance?
I will try and do some searching tonight.

God bless.
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Yes, find a nice dream restaurant for dinner, dancing and a few drinks. If you can get to the point where you are comfortable with a lady and you are having a few laughs, then the sex is a virtual fait accompli.

Sometimes the problem is what to talk about.

So you should be cultured in all the arts and be very well read, and find dates who are also culturally well rounded and well read. Then there will certainly be something one can talk about.

A few drinks is something of a social lubricant... reducing inhabitions just enough so that one is not as stuffy as one is ordinarily. And dancing... girls enjoy it, and it gets the first touching out of the way.

Originally Posted by theyearthreethousand

Go for it! Have the most powerful lucid you can imagine, and wake up later with a smile!
[/b]

But has anybody noticed that having sex in a dream often wakes one up.

Sex may be nice, but is it worth curtailing a dream for?

The climax is doubly the climax.

However, sometimes the dream sex is not accompanied by any real actual ejaculation, and then one does not wake up.

Now, I wonder why some people really ejaculate and some people do not, although the sex in the dream seems to be the same. Perhaps the difference is in Lucid Experience. This is one time that I don't have any instance insights into it.

Originally Posted by theyearthreethousand

Believe me, I was lucid in this dream.. the touch of her soft hands sent shivers down my spine.[/b]

Actually, how lucid you are in a dream has absolutely nothing to do with how vivid a dream is.

Your degree of lucidity is the extent to which you are aware you are dreaming. Now, it might seem at first glance as if you're either lucid or you're not - you either know that you're dreaming or you dont. This is both true and false. Simply knowing that you are in a dream qualifies you as being lucid, but then there is the question of how lucid you are. In a low- or mid-level lucid dream, you are basically aware that you are dreaming, but still tend to accept certain elements of your dream as reality. For example, you might be lucid in a dream when suddenly you meet a friend of yours. Rather than seeing your "friend" for what he is, a dream character produced by your mind, you believe he is really your friend, lucid dreaming with you (or non-lucid dreaming with you). In another example, you might be on the roof of an enormous building in a lucid dream, but afraid to fall off the ledge for fear of getting hurt (which you would know is not possible if you were more lucid). In high-level lucid dreams, you are completely aware that everything that you are experiencing is being produced by your own mind, and this makes you 100% fearless.
Note: it is entirely possible to be in an extremely high-level lucid dream without any dream control whatsoever, and a low amount of vividness. Although there is tendency for higher-level lucid dreams to be more vivid and easier to control, this is not a rule.

After reading your dream and the way you interacted with your dream environment, it is obvious that you were at a very low level of lucidity, so much so that I wonder if you had been lucid earlier but had lost lucidity (forgotten that you were dreaming) by the time you got to the events that you described. It is sometimes not easy to notice losing lucidity, as nothing really happens, you just get wrapped up in the dream and start accepting the entire thing as reality.

Leo, I was just generalising; encouraging have fun whatever happens in your ld.

Originally Posted by Leo

But has anybody noticed that having sex in a dream often wakes one up.

Sex may be nice, but is it worth curtailing a dream for?

The climax is doubly the climax.

However, sometimes the dream sex is not accompanied by any real actual ejaculation, and then one does not wake up.

Now, I wonder why some people really ejaculate and some people do not, although the sex in the dream seems to be the same. Perhaps the difference is in Lucid Experience. This is one time that I don't have any instance insights into it.
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Once again I agree, I think sex is best avoided in dreams, simply because it tends to wake you up. If you can have sex in a dream without waking up, and some people can, then more power to you, but for most people (myself included) it is a one-way ticket to waking life. Which is just as well I suppose, I masturbate enough in real life without filling my dreams up with what is basically the same thing .

Personally, I always wake up before reaching climax. I usually only last about 10 seconds before waking up in bed . So I never get the chance to ejaculate in real life. There was one time when I ejaculated in a dream and also came in real life, but I was not lucid at the time. I can also remember instances where I came in a non-lucid dream but did not come in real life. This only makes it harder to explain if one person can sometimes have it one way and sometimes the other .

Ah yeah, having sex in dreams... I have alot of trouble with that. In 9 of 10 dreams Something happens or gets in the way =/ I guess master baiting in real life is fun too.

most of the time in lucid dreams my Sexual instincts seem to go wild!!!
But other times just kissing someone can feel amazingly AWESOME in dreams.

Originally Posted by Gez

most of the time in lucid dreams my Sexual instincts seem to go wild!!!
i will literally run up to the first female stranger i see and jump on them.
its only really happened once but when i woke up i felt SO guilty only because i felt as if i had forced them into it
almost....as if i had raped them
But other times just kissing someone can feel amazingly AWESOME in dreams.
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Been there, done that, raped the woman.

But really it is not rape, becouse You want to and 'them' is You!

But other times just kissing someone can feel amazingly AWESOME in dreams.[/b]

i know,i was thinking about that whole day after that

how old are u,forgot ur name,who opened this thread?

I have things that I wont do in my dreams, though sex is not among them...

I'm 18..

My friend, who actually told me about LD'ing [but didn't direct me to the site] used to 'take advantage' of women in his dreams.. don't believe it's completely harmless -- because it eventually ruined him & he has stopped controlling his dreams altogether because of it.

Originally Posted by theyearthreethousand

My friend, who actually told me about LD'ing [but didn't direct me to the site] used to 'take advantage' of women in his dreams.. don't believe it's completely harmless -- because it eventually ruined him & he has stopped controlling his dreams altogether because of it.
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Interesting, care to elaborate?

I can't elaborate that much as he didn't really go into depth -
But take from it what you will.

Originally Posted by theyearthreethousand

My friend, who actually told me about LD'ing [but didn't direct me to the site] used to 'take advantage' of women in his dreams.. don't believe it's completely harmless -- because it eventually ruined him & he has stopped controlling his dreams altogether because of it.
[/b]

What? Does it influence his life in a bad way? Losing control (real life issues)?