Thread: Having Sex With Dcs Considered Cheating?

Our dreams are all in our mind. Its an alternate reality, but its not real. Our dreams are our mind, or subconscious. In our dreams we defy real laws. In our dreams these laws are non-existant.

But, it all depends on the question What is real? Is real what you can see? Hear? Touch? Taste and Smell? If thats the case then dreaming is as real as reality.

But is reality where science exists? Where laws of the universe exist? Where the universe is in its 4 dimensions? Is real where you can live and die? Is real a physical manifestation? If thats the case, then dreaming is the farthest thing from real, and is nothing but a pseudo-reality.

Can real even be defined? Let me ask you this. A person hears voices in their head, claim that someone is talking to them even though they are alone. They are legally insane. Are those voices real? They are there to the person. They can hear them. They, and they alone experience it. Just like our dream worlds. Each person has their own dream world that they alone experience. So if that person's voices arent real, why are our dream worlds? If someone is tripping out on LSD and they start seeing things, are those things real? They're hallucinations, but the person can see, hear, touch, smell and possibly taste them. Its all an illusion to the person, but its real?

Its all a matter of opinion on whats real, and whats not. Its all on your definition of real. Just so you know, when I told Seeker that its "You know, not real" I was making a small joke. Real is a variable. Real is different for every person. Im agnostic on the subject, and in saying Real is a variable, I say the circumstances depend on the definition of Real. Reality is constantly changing. So dreams may or may not be real. Its up to the person to decide whats real and whats not.[/b]

Yeah, you're right. Real is subjective, not objective. That's what I was trying to make clear. I don't think real can really be defined as other terms. It's different for everyone. Also, I didn't notice you were making a joke.

In the moment of your dream, as you exist in the universe that is your mind. Its real. It exists to you. But once you awake, its no longer real. The reality it was is destroyed and its nothing but an illusion you experianced.[/b]

Or it's just an experience you aren't able to experience anymore. Just like going to an island, when you find out that your boat is sinking, and you can't possibly go back to home again. Unless somebody saves you. With dreaming, it's possible to get back to where you left off, it's just hard. Just like being saved. I do understand your point about 'the reality being destroyed'. However, will you able to experience youth again when you're an adult? Then how real was it? The reality is destroyed and no longer real?

No final conclusion. Best bet is to read each post and draw your own conclusion. This subject is like a religious debate, it'll never end.

Now, lets assume for a minute that having sex with a DC "isn't cheating", just for the sake of discussion.

Now lets say in a LD you purposley bring in a woman/man you know IWL (sorry, still learning all the acronyms.. In Waking Life?) Someone you are attracted to. They could be in a relationship or married, as are you.

You bring them into your LD for the sole purpose of sex. Because you know it would never happen IWL, and if it did, it would probably hurt a lot of people. But in a LD, it won't hurt anyone.

Is that cheating? Now we're getting into morality. I'd say this is a little different that willing in Demi Moore or some Vic Sec Model.

I'm not saying I haven't done the above. But just feeding the fire.

Something great about waking up after an encounter with a DC and feeling that "lovey" feeling like when you first fell in love... it normally puts a smile on my face, and makes me want to bring that feeling back more with my wife.

Originally Posted by legbuh

Is that cheating? Now we're getting into morality. I'd say this is a little different that willing in Demi Moore or some Vic Sec Model.
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Well it all depends on the partners views, and if you were foolish enough to tell them about your dream.

This brings up an important, but sad point. The most succesful relationships are based on lies.

Originally Posted by ExoByte

This brings up an important, but sad point. The most succesful relationships are based on lies.
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How is that true?

Thats interesting...Did you get that quote from Lord of War?
"Yuri Orlov: Some of the most successful relationships are based on lies and deceit. Since that's where they usually end up anyway, it's a logical place to start. "


Anyway, I'd also like to know if its cheating if you do it with someone you know or with a celebrity and not a made up DC.

Originally Posted by deathly_hallow

Thats interesting...Did you get that quote from Lord of War?
"Yuri Orlov: Some of the most successful relationships are based on lies and deceit. Since that's where they usually end up anyway, it's a logical place to start. "
Anyway, I'd also like to know if its cheating if you do it with someone you know or with a celebrity and not a made up DC.
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Favourite movie! Thats part of it. House has the same standpoint. Unfortunatly, there is a lot of truth to it.

Originally Posted by deathly_hallow

How is that true?
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The above point, from Lord of War is actually correct.

Secrets and Lies. Look at any happily married couple. Are they as truthful as they seem? Is any person really who they say they are when they get married? What happens to the couples once the truth is revealed? First thing is usually seperation.

Looking from a statistical standpoint, almost all relationships are dishonest in someway or another. Neither side knows everything. Neither side is ultimately telling the truth.

Im not saying this goes for everyone, but its true statistically. Honesty is a good thing, its unfortunate that many relationships are false, lies or half truths.

Some guy says he did work in the military, woman falls for him and they live happily. Decades later after happy marriage, she finds out he was nothing but a cook getting paid minimum wage shes not going to have that same respect for him. She'll shrug it off, as one thing, but will want to know what else is being hidden. She'll want a more open relationship, and will have both partners vow to be more honest. The relationship will gradually diminish, and soon it will erupt when all sorts of truths come out. Each person learning more about their partner, finding out they are a completely different person then they thought.

Again, its not right. Actually, its wrong. Truth should not be what destroys a relationship. Fortunatly there are a few out there who can actually be openly honest and not have the relationship destroyed. But unfortunatly, the statistics are right and speak for themselves.

Originally Posted by Marvo

Well, since I know what dreams are, I wouldn't mind if my gf/bf is having sex in their dreams.

Sex in dreams is sexual-self-stimulation, which is, masturbation.
If my partner hates me for masturbating, then my partner is screwed up
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I have to concur with Marvo. My BF hates to hear about my dreams unless they are sex-related; then all of a sudden he is interested. I think he would be amused and/or insulted if somebody asked him if he was threatened by me having sex with a DC.

Being dumped for an imaginary friend... That's harsh!

Originally Posted by Seeker

Reality is reality, there is no difference between waking and lucid reality because in both, your concious mind is active.[/b]

I agree with this, though perhaps for different reasons.

A LD is just as real as waking "reality", seeing that both are simply in your head. Your brain constructs the image of the world around you in your waking state, and it constructs the image of the world around you in your dream. How can you say one is real and not the other?

Just because one is a shared experience doesn't make it any more real than the other. Since when does mass hallucination equate to reality?

In the waking state, you never see anything outside your head. You only see and sense the image and sensations that your brain provides you with. So for all you know, those people you "see", those friends of yours, you cannot "know" that they exist anywhere other than in your head. Because anyone else who sees them and confirms their "objective reality" (no such thing) could very well exist only inside your head too.

There is no reason to call one of them real and not the other. Your distinction is based upon one of your brain's contructs overriding the other. That's all.

Reality is in your head.

I would say to ask one's partner what they think.

I agree with this, though perhaps for different reasons.

A LD is just as real as waking "reality", seeing that both are simply in your head. Your brain constructs the image of the world around you in your waking state, and it constructs the image of the world around you in your dream. How can you say one is real and not the other?

Just because one is a shared experience doesn't make it any more real than the other. Since when does mass hallucination equate to reality?

In the waking state, you never see anything outside your head. You only see and sense the image and sensations that your brain provides you with. So for all you know, those people you "see", those friends of yours, you cannot "know" that they exist anywhere other than in your head. Because anyone else who sees them and confirms their "objective reality" (no such thing) could very well exist only inside your head too.

There is no reason to call one of them real and not the other. Your distinction is based upon one of your brain's contructs overriding the other. That's all.

Reality is in your head.[/b]

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Originally Posted by Seeker

This topic has been brought up before, but in my mind, if you are in a committed relationship with someone, having sex with a DC is considered cheating. This applies only to a lucid dream since you have full control and know right from wrong.

Let me reverse this question. If your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/partner rolled over one morning and started telling you all about the most amazing sexual encounter they had with a DC that night, wouldn't it hurt your feelings? Not even just little bit?

Reality is reality, there is no difference between waking and lucid reality because in both, your concious mind is active.
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Does killing people in a video game make you a murderer?

Originally Posted by deathly_hallow

Ok, so what is the final conclusion. Is it cheating, or isn't it?
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If you have to ask, I would say it is.

Seeker makes the most valid point to me. It is a conscious choice.

To play the devil's advocate:
Is masturbating and thinking of someone else also wrong? That too is a choice.

Originally Posted by deathly_hallow

Ok, so what is the final conclusion. Is it cheating, or isn't it?
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It all depends on the persons morals, if they believe in god and their anywhere around +30 chances are they think it's cheating, because if they believe to be judged by some being of reality, the truth is that reality never judges us, that is if your atheist like me, society is the ownly thing that judges us.

I'm not here to flame christians, sometimes people can choose a life with freedomes (atheist) or a life with faith.

Originally Posted by LucidDreamGod

It all depends on the persons morals, if they believe in god and their anywhere around +30 chances are they think it's cheating, because if they believe to be judged by some being of reality, the truth is that reality never judges us, that is if your atheist like me, society is the ownly thing that judges us.

I'm not here to flame christians, sometimes people can choose a life with freedomes (atheist) or a life with faith.
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Would your spouse not be included under, "Society" at best?

Yes they would, but again if you don't tell them, it's impossible to hurt them, take for example surgery, people use drugs to numb bodies, when they cut into them they feel no pain, whether or not you choose to cheat in a dream, has no effect on your spouse.

EDIT: maybe I've got this wrong, it's considered cheating (I sorta agree) though I don't belieave it's harmful to your patrner, cheating is a bad thing to do in RL, but is it the same in a dream?

I don't think so.

Originally Posted by LucidDreamGod

Yes they would, but again if you don't tell them, it's impossible to hurt them, take for example surgery, people use drugs to numb bodies, when they cut into them they feel no pain, whether or not you choose to cheat in a dream, has no effect on your spouse.[/b]

That is a fine line to walk LD God
Cheating on your spouse in waking life will not hurt them either, provided they do not find out.
There are many atrocities you could do by using that analogy. Governments and society do it all the time.
I think if anything is getting numb, it is not the pain. It is our conscience.

Originally Posted by Howetzer

That is a fine line to walk LD God
Cheating on your spouse in waking life will not hurt them either, provided they do not find out.
There are many atrocities you could do by using that analogy. Governments and society do it all the time.
I think if anything is getting numb, it is not the pain. It is our conscience.
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I'm not telling people to cheat in real life thats alittle diffrent, I'm totaly against that, What do governments and society's do that people can't find out about, If it's torturing people for answers to questions, yep I've heard of that, and that does harm people, and we shouldn't harm people thats not right, but when we cheat in a dream no one gets hurt, thats the only senario in which I'd let that philosophy pass, i'd never use the idea inless there was a 100% no one would know and it wouldn't effect anyone.

An affair is often a euphemism for a situation where two people are involved in an inappropriate romantic relationship. (from wikipedia)
Now cheating is when you have it with another conscious being because then youare acturly betraying your partner because your having an relationship. I guess one can not have an relationship with ones self can they unless you have two minds or your a freak.
Anyway for my answear i guess it would be yes because you are thinking about someone else when you should be think about your lover, but we are human and if one does love their lover then they would not need to think about anyone else even in dreams.

what is DC?

Dream character.

Originally Posted by Scar

what is DC?
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I was going to be a smartass and say "Detective Comics" but I won't be mean. It is nothing more than a Dream Character.

Anyway, I was thinking was that even in lucids I don't have much control. I almost always have sex in LD's, which I don't guess everybody does. But I don't think I have much more control in lucids than in regular dreams, because there are lots of other things I'd like to do if I could just remember to do them. I often think my lucids are at the lowest level of lucidity, just at the point where I know I am dreaming but I still am in the dream-mind state where my thinking is limited to the situation of the dream. I have struggled to do a couple lucid tasks and these focused my mind, but this level of control is rare for me. So what I am getting at is that I may not be as responsible for the dream-sex that I have, even in lucids, as I would be IRL. And maybe nobody is, maybe lucids are still just dreams and you are not using your rational mind, no matter how much control you develop. Who gets to the point in dreams where they feel like they are as rational and conscious as IRL? Does anybody? This just gets back me to realizing I am stuck at a rudimentary stage in LD, and I can't progress past the point where all I do is cheat on my partner with random DC's!

Sorry to sort of change the subject but the topic of dream sex reminds me of my lack of LD control. When the time comes that I have an LD and don't immediately find a DC to cheat on my bf with, I'll be happy. Meanwhile I don't feel guilty....and I think you guys who think it is cheating should lighten up and have some fun! Even if you don't know what reality is! Nobody will ever know unless you tell them. The beauty of dreams.