Thread: ld girlfriend?

Well what do you think of my REAL LIFE girlfriend?

am sure she's beautiful.

There, I fixed the link.
EDIT: Darn it don't work

I'm glad I'm not the only person who has confronted this. I've had a related incident. Recently, I watched a movie where one of the characters reminded me of a non-lucid dream I had when I was a kid where I was infatuated with a dream character. There was no romance involved, but I can remember obsessing over her attituade. In fact, the aspect of the movie character that reminded me of the dream character was her personality. I can't for the life of me remember what she looked like. If I concentrate though, I can get that bitter-sweet feeling that the DC was associated with. It's strange, because it is the only moment from my life where I can recall that feeling.

So where does this leave me? Frustrated and hopeless. I'm trying not to obsess over it. I didn't obsess over it when I first had the dream long ago, but now I can put a human face on the idea, the face being that of the movie character, so it is harder to get it out of my head.

I wouldn't recomend attempting a LD GF. I'm all for blowing stuff up in dreams, flying around, doing whatever, but when you get an emotion involved, it carrys into waking life. As for me, I'm watching the movie character over and over again, hopefully desensitizing myself of the feeling.

As for me, I'm watching the movie character over and over again, hopefully desensitizing myself of the feeling.

Be careful man, this can actually have the opposite effect and create a full blown mania.

It isn't so bad though; I actually like the inspiration such a thing gives me. I can wake up from dreams feeling quite dismal, but then I can create some pretty amazing music. There is nothing better than the inspiration of the female influence.

uhm well.. it would be to fake for some people, but if you really want to go that far to find your true love, i guess it does count Lol.

Hmm well i have a real life person who turns up in 90% of my dreams, in which we are usually together, but then i'm in love with her so i guess its not that unusual.. I'm thinking of using her as some kind of dream sign though as shes pretty reliable!

Originally Posted by Cammy

A real life girlfriend is enough grief, dont want one in my LD's as well :p

Try a real life wife. Now that is Grief!!!!

Originally Posted by zeroroom

Try a real life wife. Now that is Grief!!!!

Really? I can't wait to find someone I know I would be happy enough with to spend the rest of my life with....

Originally Posted by AdamA

Really? I can't wait to find someone I know I would be happy enough with to spend the rest of my life with....

Yeah....good luck with that. :p

all the best to you.

I'm sure it can't be that hard :p

3rd time lucky lol

I had abandoned my plan to get a ld girlfriend, but then last night i became lucid while sitting around a table with lots of people (one of which was a hot dc) and we were getting on really well she was really tidy (that must strange saying a dc is tidy) i was treating her like a real person (not just throwing her in the nearest bed and f*****g her like most probably do,me included) then before i know it i'm kissing her, arms around eachother slowly walking behind the rest of the group. Then i had my hand up her skirt on her ass which felt great,( very real) it was strange it was like i had known her all my life and i was feeling really close to her (i know this must sound very stupid)

After i woke up i felt emotionally messed up like i was missing her or something but then i was like she is a dc she ain't real.(very strange)
I'm thinking now whether to keep her as my ld girlfriend or not.

Hey there,

Another very interesting topic to stumble upon (this forum is full of them isn't it?), though I'm a little surprised by some of the replies. After all, isn't it all about exploring lucidity and your dreams. I don't think exploring a relationship in dreamland will make you a social outcast or make you unable to find love in your waking life, anymore then I think someone exploring sex in lucid dreams would become unable to have sex in waking life, or someone exploring power would be unable to be confident and strong in waking life

That said, love and relationships is probably the most sensitive and difficult topic we humans get to deal with in our life. So it might be wise to ask yourself whether you're trying to add a new experience in your life, or whether you're trying to fill some sort of hole you feel from something you're missing. (Mind you, I'm not convinced the second one is a bad thing either, but that's a different discussion).


On with the actual topic though:

I'll tell you this much. I've experienced being in love several times in my life. I came out of a relationship last year with a girl I was together with for three years, and whom I love deeply, and she loved me. (we broke up due to her wanting to have a child and me ... well, not). I cherish that period as one that has enriched my life greatly.

And yet, even with these experiences, I also know that when I have one of those truly vivid deep emotional dreams, I will:

- Never be able to love as truly, unconditionally and completely in waking life as I can in my dreams
- Never be able to be so utterly in love in waking life as I can be in my dreams
- Never be able to feel so completely happy in waking life as I can be in my dreams

Simply because I think in dreams emotions aren't so complex. They don't get filtered and watered down by all sorts of secondary concerns like they do when we're awake. They can be much more intense, much stronger.

So I can fully understand why someone would want to go and explore this further. We explore many things in our lucid dreams, which in a way are all reflections of our selves somehow. So why not things like love, intimacy, affection. And if it does end up making you frustrated or unhappy as some people claim, well then you simply put an end to it.

So in short, I'd say go for it. And if you do decide to explore it, and have the courage to do so, post about it here. I for one would be very interested in reading about such dream experiences.

Just my 2 dreamcents,

-Redrivertears-

Thanks for some positive feedback, it's a change from all the negatives. But everyone has got a right to their own opinion i guess.

I crush on a certain celebrity.... and I would love for him to be a dreamtime boyfriend. ^_^

(I've had several boyfriends in real life so I've had those experiences, too.)

In my LDs so far, I've met him about a dozen times and we've hooked up about half a dozen times. haha....... I'm monogamous in my dreams though!

But I wish the dreams were more emotional. Like I wish we actually talked instead of going straight for the boom-chaka.

So yeah, it is a goal of mine to have this lucid fun.

Originally Posted by lexmeeki

But I wish the dreams were more emotional. Like I wish we actually talked instead of going straight for the boom-chaka.

Isn't whether or not you go straight for the "boom-chaka" up to you?

Perhaps you're so enamored with this celebrity dreamtime boyfriend that you're immediately drawn to the "boom-chaka" or you're afraid that if you try to talk first.. the dream will end before you get the chance to.
.

I don't know if i could be a monogamous in my dreams knowing that u could have anyone u desire but it would be interesting if u could though (also had girlfriends in rl)

That ld i posted the other day was the first time i have actually talked to a dc instead of going route 1 and it was very life like (didn't feel like a dream) good to go this way for a change.

Originally Posted by ld master

I don't know if i could be a monogamous in my dreams knowing that u could have anyone u desire but it would be interesting if u could though (also had girlfriends in rl)

That is why the best lover is mystic from X-men, she can be whoever you want Baby =).

Originally Posted by lexmeeki

I crush on a certain celebrity.... and I would love for him to be a dreamtime boyfriend. ^_^

(I've had several boyfriends in real life so I've had those experiences, too.)

In my LDs so far, I've met him about a dozen times and we've hooked up about half a dozen times. haha....... I'm monogamous in my dreams though!

But I wish the dreams were more emotional. Like I wish we actually talked instead of going straight for the boom-chaka.

So yeah, it is a goal of mine to have this lucid fun.

Whose the Celeb?

Here's my theory on LD relationships: they're perfectly healthy and natural manifestation of what we desire, and they provide a sort of checklist okay so I know real life girls will never measure up to our idea of perfection but they do provide some insight into what we feel is important.

And for those of us who aren't lucky enough to have a RL girlfriend they provide entertainment

Originally Posted by Wendello

And for those of us who aren't lucky enough to have a RL girlfriend they provide entertainment

Not only are they entertaining but the relationship is on your terms. No moaning from them, no arguments, make them treat u like a god (which u are) and if u wanted u could have some lucid dreams with ur ld girl and others going behind ur ld girl's back and hooking up with other dc's without having to worry about her finding out and breaking up with u. (ld's rock)

Not that i would do this or anything

Redrivertears beat me to the punch, but I thought I'd chip in a few more cents. I registered just now so I could reply to this thread and hopefully bring some more feedback to the issue of returning DC's and a relationship with them.

I am one of several people that I know who have encountered reoccuring dream characters, more specifically a "romantic" match. This began when I was quite young--young enough that there was zero possibility of finding a real-life component to this relationship. I was naive enough to believe in a theory of my own invention--that one could share dreams with one's "soulmate"--a real life person somewhere out there who might be dreaming in parallel. Inspired, I sought out this figure during my LDs. I met many different people on the way, had several different "flings", etc. I would talk about these dreams, and write them down, which allowed them to propagate into ongoing storylines. What better than a personal fantasy one may involve themselves in? But eventually my search for a protective, loving aspect within the oftentimes frightening dreamworld was answered by a figure who was, unfortunately, just as disturbingly violent. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I had a thing for the "bad boy". I had many dreams of a melodramatic nature--being chased down or being enslaved to this person--but as I grew older (and matured, hopefully) they began to wear off. As exciting as they were to experience for all their action/adventure/romance, there was never any sense of fulfillment. But the foundation had been built, I suppose. When I became old enough to have romantic liasons, all of my relationships seemed to involve men who I discovered had similar qualities to this childhood "dream boyfriend"--almost as if I were unconsciously seeking them out, since they had not been so apparent in the beginning of the relationship. You can imagine how badly they played out . . .

It was only when I was at my lowest point that I stumbled upon him--that dream character where everything seemed right. Not lucidly, mind you, but with just as much of an overwhelming feeling of clarity both visually and emotionally. There was a sense of meaning to this dream. I knew that I had tapped into something much deeper than fantasy.

More importantly, I was coherent enough to recognize this figure not as any real life person, but as the evolved form of my animus--no longer a self-destructive psychopath (I had been plagued by self-loathing for most of my life), but full of the love and acceptance I had been missing both in my real-life partners and in my attitude towards myself. It took me a long time to accept that I could find something that mirrored that emotion in the real world, much less that I should go looking for it. But I did, and I found it. It's not all happily-ever-after, but it is a step in the right direction. And I feel I have my dreams to thank for it. Not just for trying to warn me that I was going into life with my heart all misdirected, but giving me the hope to recover from those first follies.

So what I am really trying to say is, know your animus. That means, have a relationship with it--and try to make it a positive one. I am sure many of you already know what an anima/animus is, but if you do not it's better explained here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anima_%28Jung%29

Which also means being able to recognize your shadow:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadow_%28psychology%29

I still encounter my animus in many different forms, in both LDs and non-LDs, but I don't consider having a relationship with them to be an inhibition to my waking lovelife, obviously. The only caveat I have is to not become obsessed with this figure--which I can admit to having done when I was younger. Don't try to find them manifested in the real world.

Approach your relationship with it with an openness not only to the insight it might give you on your own self-image but also what you are looking for in another person. Recognize that both will and should change throughout your life, as your needs and personality grow. Depending on your current state this relationship might be healthy or unhealthy, but the wonderful thing about it is that you have control over it (unlike most real-life partnerships). There will still be surprises, trust me. But by dealing with them I think you mentally and psychologically prepare yourself for more fulfilling relationships in the real world.

Sorry for my longwindedness but I felt I needed to make up for all of the downtalking/mockery of Never's support of the LD GF concept. I know the intentions were good in most cases (escapism is never the solution to a deficit in reality) but I do want other LDers to know that such efforts can be healthy.

Wow my brain has completely shut down after reading all that, complex stuff, but i think i get what ur saying.Thanks for the post.