Unable to awaken

Ok. Due to the popular demand - here come the two dreams I've dreamt during my high school years, or, as I call them now, during my "glory period". The "glory period" was characterized by me being almost morbidly fascinated by lucid dreaming and questions of the nature of reality, as well as being proficient in lucid dreaming. I'd make very little effort - like, say, making two or three RCs a day, and still get about two or three lucid dreams a week - or so. I've also experimented with trance techniques and brainwave entrainment at the time - and I believe that's where some of the vivid dreaming of the period came from.

The first dream occurred during a morning nap - and this one was less dramatic (in other words, if you're disappointed with the description, you can as well jump to the next one). I woke up early in the morning, stood awake for some time and returned to bed afraid that I won't be able to go back to sleep. After a while, though, I've entered a state of total relaxation. I've laid for some time, simply enjoying the state, before the thing started.

I don't recall entering the dream trough WILD; instead I remember finding myself, fully lucid, before a closed window in the dream-world. It was night. Looking through the window I could see bright, colored lights of the street outside. I remember fighting with both urge to jump out and fly and the fear of doing it - for the sheer realism of the dream. Finally, I believe, I made my mind and jumped. And from the fragmented memories of that night I know - I reason - that this very act started the cycle of false awakenings. In each of the dreams I'd jump out of the window in my apartment - only to find myself waking up in another dream. Through the first half of the series of awakenings I was in what I'd call 'night world'. This dream-world had some coherent qualities - it was at once dark, night-ly and warm. I remember that one time, when jumping out of the window, I saw a couple holding hands.

The first series of false awakenings - each of them succeeding an attempt to jump out of the kitchen window of my apartment - somehow convinced me that the dream will continue endlessly, and that I'd remain trapped within. The feeling grew even stronger when I woke up in the 'day world'. The 'day world' was characterized by feelings of rush, the cold and the brightness of day. I remember finding myself in an L-shaped corridor with run-down, decaying walls (the scenery was disturbingly similar to the corridor in my high school). There were two men standing near, discussing business. I also remember a poem written on the wall, but, since the dream journal of the period is gone with my old PC I can't remember the words. On one end of the L-shaped corridor (to the right of the end, precisely, and slightly to the back) there was a way to the outside, and outside of the building there was a great, bustling marketplace climbing up the side of the hill. I remember looking out, feeling actually trapped within this dream-world, and finding the waking reality as unreal and transient as this dream is to me now. That is, at that moment all that existed to me was now, and this now was a dream I could not wake up from.

Finally, I made it to the final layer of the dream. I jumped out of the kitchen window, this time finding myself able to fly. I found myself flying between alien-looking buildings that I'd rather draw than describe. This time it seemed like it was either dawn or early morning; the buildings were made of red brick. A group of girls ran out of one of the buildings; among them I've recognized one I once knew. She was laughing. "She's happy at last" - I thought and woke up.

The other dream started as WILD. I laid awake in my bed, having woken up early in the morning, once again worrying if I'll be able to fall back to sleep, when I've entered WILD. Instead of usual rising-falling sensations or voices I've felt that I'm in two places - and two bodies - at once. That is, it started as a tactile sensation. The first body was the one lying in my bed, the other one was walking. I focused on the sensation of movement of my dream-body and soon enough found my consciousness transferred into it - and into the dream-world.

I found myself walking up the street in the town that I've moved out only a couple of years ago. It seemed to be early in the morning, but later than it was in reality. The sky was gray.

The street led to grocery, as it did in the real life. A young man stood at grocery's store, smiling menacingly. As he started to approach I folded fingers of my right hand so that they resembled a gun, ready to fire at him at a moment's notice. But on the other hand I was uncomfortable with the idea of harming him. I woke up before he reached me.

In the real world it was still very early. I didn't lay awake for long before I was plunged into another dream - a series of dreams - that I found myself unable to awaken from.

I don't remember the exact order of events. I woke into the dream, flew to another, imaginary building, landing on the metal railing that was vividly and painfully cold, then reached the corridor inside the building, with doors on both sides, leading presumably to the apartments. I remember a woman opening one of the doors from outside and disappearing within. Just as I saw her doing it I woke up, but I don't remember if I woke back to reality, or if I made it straight to another dream; what do I remember is waking up to the dream-version of my apartment and finding there was a very charismatic criminal (!) inside. What follows I remember dimly, save for that there was a car chase and explosion; the next thing I clearly remember is - after the car chase was over - walking, fully lucid, towards a fence that surrounded a factory. The sun was setting in the distance; or was it rising? It seemed like dusk. I flew up, weary of the dream and intent on waking up. I rose into the dream-sky that I recall as being reddish or purple rather than blue. I dimly remember a light forming in the sky, and then - this I'm certain about - an island, shaping out of the fluid, watery substance that formed the dream-world. And then came awakening - a series of awakenings within the dream.

I don't remember the reality I woke up to then, the next memory is me standing - fully lucid - on the side of a road in desert-like landscape, descending towards a not so distant city. At the moment I believe I've been through either some false awakenings or some unsuccessful attempts to awaken, and the dream was going on for some time now, for I was panicking that I'm here trapped in the dream-world and cut from the other people. The sight of the city consoled me somehow, for it promised a human company, even if it was not to be real. A car stood parked nearby. A fellow was sitting inside, and it looked as if he was busy doing some repairs. I approached him, asking to give me a lift to the city, but then changed his mind. He seemed very relaxed, and it appeared that he didn't at all mind my chimeric behavior. I then started to walk towards the city. I fixed my gaze on the road and started to think about something, quickly becoming lost in thoughts. When I looked back up I've seen that the city has disappeared, and that I'm walking down the alley with golden-leaved trees and family houses on both sides. I thought about the instability of the dream-world and continued my walk without hope that it will take me anywhere meaningful.

From this dream I woke to my bed - in another dream. The illusion of reality had been shattered by the presence of my literature teacher in the apartment, as well as cobwebs in the corners. I remember walking to the kitchen window (again! whenever I left the dream-version of my apartment I'd usually do it via kitchen window) and jumping out with my eyes closed. I woke up in my bed, but my relief was short-lived, for the voices from the apartment made it clear to me that I'm still asleep. I laid down on the dream-bed in utter resignation - and then I woke up again. This time for real. My cat was pounding on the door, begging to be let in. I felt like the dream was going on for hours, but now I only remember bits and pieces of it, due to hard-drive loss. I posted the dream to Lucid Dream Exchange while I still cooperated with the zine. Those who read the zine will probably recognize the dream, and remember the more accurate description.

And that's all folks!