General Intro to Lucid Experience
Hello to all here at the forum..
It's great to find this community and I hope to be a regular visitor and contributor here..
Just a general background first.. I'm almost 27 yrs old and am no stranger to Lucid dreaming as I had a brief period where i kept a journal 3 or 4 years ago. That was the peak of my Lucid experiences up to now.. I loved the feeling of breaking free from the disabilities I had experienced in regular dreaming - (not being able to run, not being able to throw a punch in self defense etc..) It didnt take long before I was neo from the matrix :)
But that only lasted a couple of months as it was a very busy time in my life with lots going on and I forgot all about the journal over time..
Since then, over the years I have had the occasional Lucid here and there but nothing that hit home as hard as my last 2 nights worth of dreams..
2 days ago my brother called me from my home town telling me that my ex-boss had died (he was also a good friend of my father's).. My brother indicated that I was expected at the funeral and I felt an immediate unwanted obligation. I live out of town and its too much hassle to what i'm accustomed to, to get down to the next county for the funeral of a man that I didnt really have a relationship with. So i made a decision that i wasnt going to go to the funeral and had a moral discussion with myself about what the repercussions of my emotions on the matter might be (Im a full believer in energy attracting energy).
That night I dreamed that I had to "do a good thing" by going to a restaurant and eliminating a person who was bad. I'm in the restaurant and with me on "the job" are 2 other guys.. one is a young person with the same status rank as me in the dream but the other guy was a higher rank than the two of us.. I didnt interact with them except for general telepathy but nothing extraordinary.. more just body language type communication..
I sat at the counter of the restaurant and the guy with my rank sat to my left but not directly facing the counter as i was and the other guy with the higher rank stood up behind us but more on the side of the other guy than me indicating that they were a team..
On my right was the table and chair where "the mark" was sitting but then all of a sudden "the mark" came in through the front door of the restaurant and it was someone i knew from my home town but we were not friends nor did we have any type of relationship except that of knowing who each other was. Then the cue came.. I was so suprised to see that he was the mark and he was so suprised to see me that I instantly sprang into covert action and reciprocated his advances as i stood up and greeted him as though he was a dear old friend and I cared very much for him (not me at all.. i keep everyone at a controlled distance apart from the odd exceptions) so that he would not suss why we were here..
Once the greeting was over and he sat in his seat where i saw the original mark, I knew the whole thing wasnt right so i got up and willed myself out of the situation as I didnt want to have any part in the killing of a man.. The scene changed and I was in my home town now (which i hadnt realised before) and i needed to go back to the restaurant to stop what was about to happen. I didnt now where the restaurant was though, just a general direction so I walked for a few minutes but then increased my walk to a fast glide.. I got the feeling that I may be too late and then all of a sudden I see my mother walking towards me and I sense that she had come from the restaurant.. She looked a bit upset and shaken up.. It turned out she was the higher rank at the restaurant even though the previous firgure was a male. She told me it was too late.. She had killed him (the mark) who then turned out to be my father (mam and dad are separated for 15 years now).
My disbelief resulted in me willing my way out of the scene again but instead we ended up outside the restaurant.. My mother pleaded with me not to go in there as I would not like to see it but i insisted that I am a head-strong person and could handle it..
I opened the door to look in and saw a body wrapped in a white sheet lying under the table where the mark had been sitting.. I was instantly gripped with fear and an uncanny loud heavy single "dong!" sounded.. like the dong of death. It scared the sh*t out of me and i ran back out to tell my mother that i actually heard a "dong" when i saw the body.. This had me freaked so again i willed myself out of the situation.
This is where the dream really took a twist. The next scene was me and my mother in the restaurant and all of a sudden the white sheet covering the body of my murdered father moved showing the face of my father smiling, alive, and then laughing at me.. This was instantly accompanied by my mother laughing at me.. They had played a trick on me!
I was completely disgusted with them and felt so betrayed..
I willed myself out of the scene and woke up this time...
That day (yesterday) in the real world, my brother rang me again to arrange to collect me to take me to the funeral and I expressed my uncertainty as to whether I would be available or not. He stated that I "had" to go.. I firmly replied back that I meant no offense but I did not "have" to go and that I was busy but would try.. I normally give in to these type of obligations but this was the first time I had made a decision of this nature and I was very suprised to hear my normally aggressive and forward brother instantly back down on the phone.
After we hung up I felt empowered and in control and said to my wife that I think I'm going to have to go to the funeral in order to maintain the peace.. I felt I had made my point on the phone so I was now a bit more willing to fulfill my duty as a conformist to my family's ideals.
I made public transport arrangements as an act of triumph and rang my brother back telling him I would make my own way down.
That night, (last night), I dreamed I was with a girl, maybe from work (her figure was more of a sillohette for the duration of the dream) This dream was not as vivid but the cue was that her boyfriend was a bad man who wanted to harm her and the bad man was samuel L jackson.. (although he only had a cameo appearance in the dream).. As i have strong protective feelings for this girl, my instinct is to keep her with me as nothing can happen to her so long as I am there. The middle section of the dream is not very vivid but then the cue came as she told me who her boyfriend was and I started telling her that it was impossible that Mr Jackson was the man she was running from when all of a sudden he showed up holding a gun in his hand pointing it towards the sky but keeping his hand chest-high, walking towards us
I wished he hadnt heard what i had just said about him and to my suprise he walked right past us and into the building (we had been standing just beside the entrance of the building). So i took the girl and we ran over to a large object (ornamental) on the grass of the garden and I ordered her to crouch down at the object. Then, i presumed, Mr Jackson's henchman came out from the side of the building holding a gun and new exactly where the girl was hiding and seemed to ignore me.. When he got close enough to the girl I gained Lucid control, entered first-person mode and went for the guy with the intention of eliminating him. I grabbed at him but not efficiently enough as I re-entered third-person mode and he managed to pull the trigger to shoot at my head but i quickly moved my head to dodge the bullet, although the law of physics said that bullet should have hit me.. Survival instinct took over and I re-entered first person mode, grabbed the gun out of his hand and pushed him to the ground.. I pointed the gun directly at him and pulled the trigger but without intent of killing, only an act of victory so the bullet had no effect..
Then another emotion took over that I am not familiar with because when similar situations of conflict happen in non lucid dreams I never kill the guy, i morph into a new scene or wake up. But I felt that I "had" to kill this guy or something bad would happen so I overrided all my morals about harming people and i forced him to the ground and pointed the gun at his head and pulled the trigger with full intent. This time the bullet did its job and entered the man's head. He stopped moving and looked dead but I wasnt convinced he was dead so I took my time and pointed the gun at the area of the man's chest that i perceived to be the center of his heart and I point blank shot him again so I knew he was dead.
The dream was about to continue as I knew there was more to do (Mr Jackson i guess) when my wife woke me up in bed by accident.. I woke up feeling that I had missed out because there was more that needed to be done but I did not feel any remorse for my actions as I had deemed it a justified action.
I have a feeling that the two dreams were the manifestation of my personal needs conflicting with my moral beliefs but it has re-awakened my desire to pursue the Lucid state.
Also if anyone has any insights I welcome your input..
MrDamon
