Always 50% (free falling)

I haven't been around a lot and I do not do much at all to set the table for lucid dreaming - I do not even keep a dream journal, and I think that can explain why I always get very short and somewhat hazy LDs. It feels like 50%. I can interact and control myself up to 50%, I still feel that I am controlled by the main flow of the dream, not vice versa.


I think I, unintentionally, had my first WILD one night ago.
I woke up very early (around 2:30 am) and went up to sit by the computer for a while. About 6 am I went back to bed again. Not long after I laid down again and relaxed I found myself in a half thinking/half dreaming setting. I found myself in a kitchen, standing on what can only be described as a modified boxy-like lawn mower. I was standing ON it with the handle in front of me - still feeling that I had conscious thinking control, it was only the setting that had been unconsciously presented to me (the kitchen and me standing on that mower thing).

I finally felt like leaning forward against the broad tilted handle on this thing - had it been in real life, I would have tipped forward judging by the angle of the handle. But not here though. I leaned forward - it felt very good and comfortable and I eventually decided to relax myself completely where I was leaning slightly forward. Upon doing that - that's when I was more or less flushed into my first WILD experience.


Upon deciding to completely relax, I felt as if I was suddenly being sucked, non-violently through a whirl pool (can't remember whether or not I felt any special sensations in my RL body when that happened).

Going through this short whirl pool I think I made up the setting for my WILD as I thought of one single verb; "Falling"

Moments later I found myself V E R Y high up in the air (not above cloud level though) and I was free falling in the standard 'X' position with my stomach and face facing downwards, legs bent at the knees. The fall was very controlled and stable. I had only a jump suit on, no parachute - but I was not the least bit afraid since I, on some level, knew that this was a dream and that an impact would not harm me (and this calmness despite me being a bit afraid of heights in RL).


Everything felt so real though - I can't even begin to describe it. I have never in my life been sky diving or free falling so I have no idea how my subconscious (?) could make it seem so extremely real to me! I could hear the wind blowing by my ears - it was a near deafening sound, I could almost not even hear my own thoughts. And I could feel the heavy force of wind flowing and pulling against my face, the preassure from it, how it made strong indentations in my skin, my cheeks, my chin...

Far far below me I had the setting of a small town with houses, green gardens and lots of green (grass, trees, hedges) and a few roads. The sky was as blue as ever, with the few white clouds sparsely placed (but as I looked closer at the sky, I found out that it was a big *ss backdrop a la the walls out in the sea in that Truman Show movie. I'm guessing the fall lasted about maybe 30 - 60 RL seconds before I started to approach the ground.

When I was no higher up than about the height of a highrise I begun thinking over and over again: "I want to keep flying, I do not wish to land." This resulted in me being teleported up to that same highrise level as I was just about to hit ground. Or not exactly being teleported - more like I fell through a weak film of very elastic soap, covering the entire ground on which the ground was painted on. As my fall broke that film (roughly about 200 feet above the "ground") I found myself being higher up in the air again.

This repeated about three times. Three times I came close to the ground, broke this "film" close to ground and was suddenly higher up in the air again. After that, I woke up.


The thing is that I have had about five lucid dreams in total over the past couple of years (without me doing anything in particular to attain them, other than visiting this forum every once in a while). Every one of these LDs have felt somewhat real. I have been able to feel and smell things seeming so real as if it had been in RL. But I have always found myself being behind a layer of fog. I have always had to go with the main flow of the dream and not ever fully felt that I was 100% free as you feel when you're awake. And the LDs have never lasted longer than maybe a couple of minutes the most (but that could be because I have not given the dream upholding actions very much thought). I know about rubbing my hands together, concentrating on particular objects, shout "light" and such - I just haven't thought about trying it in my LDs.

I am very curious how it would feel to really fully "be there" - to 100%, to really have full control and not feel this weird distance, like I'm surrounded by a thin haze during the entire LD... And to be able to alter the setting myself - specifically bringing forth a person wish to see again.

There is this special someone I have not met for the past eight years and I have since long ago lost the clear and vivid memories of this person's face, voice, everything. I have no doubt that everything about this person is perfectly stored somewhere in my head and that I could use this LD thing as a "tool" for getting a perfect and flawless reminder of everything I have forgotten. I just lack the power/knowledge/experience to do it...


Thank you for reading.