My First Post: My Intentions Of Further Lucid Dreaming...
To clear this up right now so that I'm not flagged for posting in the wrong category, I have had Lucid Dreams and I will share those experiences.
Now this is the first time that I've truly sought out sharpening my skills of Lucid Dreaming (which I have yet to begin practicing as I've only just finished reading the website). Although I already have had great success at remembering my dreams with clarity and I've had powerful Lucid Dreams.
Before you read any further, I should get to the point, my intentions of Lucid Dreaming. Primarily, my desire for Lucid Dreaming is dark; I want Sex, Murder and Mayhem in that order. That said I want to make it clear that I don't have the desire for Murder and Mayhem in the real world. I consider myself to be a very kind and open minded person. However, there is no denying that I have sick fantasies.
Before I begin, I want to summarize my life real quick to help identify why possibly I've been able to Lucid Dream without even trying to induce them from the real world:
» My first memory of self awareness, was my first day of Kindergarten (I'm a 21 year old male by the way). This fact more so than anything else in my life is probably the most defining of who I am. I watched all the other children grab their favorite color of Crayon. They chose, red, green, blue.. the typical favorite colors. But, not one of them chose the brown Crayon, so I had to have it, which is subsequently my favorite color. From that day on I decided that I always had to be different from everyone else, and that has basically been the backbone of my entire life.
» Although I've always had friends, I've always managed to remain a loner and spend most of my time in solitude. When I was 17, I moved away for about 8 months, where I spent almost every bit of my time in solitude. I thoroughly enjoyed it. But, I spent too much time alone just thinking and analyzing and observing everything that I went a little crazy. Days ran into each other and reality was slipping. Eventually I longed to be with friends again, so I moved back home. Nothing in my life has ever expanded my mind more than that though.
You might be thinking how does that relate to Lucid Dreaming. The reason I think it might is because the state of mind that I have when I go to sleep. And I'll add that I often go to sleep a bit delusional because I pretty much stay awake until I pass out.
Now, to the 2 most profound Lucid experiences that I've had:
1. In this Lucid Dream, I was only aware that I was dreaming, but I did not have control except for one part:
In this dream there was no sound. It started out with me sleeping in bed, which was normal along with the house. Although, I was surrounded in a much more heavily wooded area. When a powerful light beamed through my window, it instantly became Lucid.
I thought to myself: "No no no, I know what's happening, but I can't handle this, please make it stop! Make it Stop!". That's when the entire window was ripped from my wall and I new exactly what was happening because my own fears were creating everything, the more I didn't want something to happen, the more likely it would. I again thought to myself: "No, the aliens are going to take me, but I'm just dreaming.. I'll be fine.".
I went on to even try and convince myself that maybe it could be fun and I would just go along with it. It became very apparent that was not a possibility when a team of about 8 aliens reached through the window and began to pull me away. Simultaneously by door flew open and I began to be dragged by some force towards it and eventually outside. I was pulled outside in both of these ways simultaneously which I watched in 3rd person. Once I was outside, they placed me onto a gurney, I then went back into 1st person. My terror level was through the roof as they pulled me towards their ship because I'm completely Agnostic (I'll explain more below) about everything and I couldn't help but think to myself: "What if this is real, what if they just disguise their abductions as dreams?".
I then used a technique that I created in order to escape a nightmare and actually wake up when the horror of what's happening is too much. Please let me know if anyone else uses this technique: I just clinch my fists and my eyes closed really tight and tell myself "Wake up, Wake up!", I then wake up with my head hitting the pillow. This technique has never failed me, in this particular occasion I woke up crying.
2. This one was fully Lucid, I had complete awareness and control and what do you think I did?:
It started with me being placed on a normal suburban street, how a character would spawn in a video game. I instantly knew that I was dreaming and I got a big old grin on my face because of the fun I would have, I thought: "Good job mind, thank you.". I looked around and was very impressed with how good everything was, everything still had a slight white washed look over it though.
I tried to make it go away so that everything would be more real, but I couldn't [I didn't have THAT much control ;)], and besides I was wasting time. The first major action that I made was to walk straight over to a very attractive older woman (brunette, in a sun dress) that was parked in a red convertible and I lifted her dress up and began to rub her pussy and finger her. It wasn't exactly a rape scenario because she was really enjoying herself moaning and moving about.
Anyways, I got that really nervous feeling that I didn't have much time left so I left (although I found myself really wanted to go down on her quite badly). I had to play around with my dream more, so I began floating through the streets as though I was sitting on an invisible chair. I just sort of pointed at things to make them happen, blowing things up, making monsters appear to kill people, and the most memorable piece of mayhem that I caused was to create a giant buffalo that was trampling everything; houses, fences, cars. And then I woke up and masturbated to the thought of the woman.
I haven't had a Lucid Dream for a long time and would very much like to have more, first thing is probably to explore sexuality as much as can be explored heterosexually.
NOTES:
I'm sure most people on this forum don't believe that if you die in your dreams, you die in real life. It's at least not true for me because I've died in 1st and 3rd person in the majority of my dreams.
I'm not exactly religious or spiritual. Although I have many philosophies and theories I don't exactly believe in anything, I'm Agnostic which in my own personal definition means that I neither believe or disbelieve in anything. I think that anything is possible. Essentially, it's an admission to myself that I am not intelligent enough to know whether there is a God or an after life.
If you read my entire post, whether you liked it or hated it. I do appreciate the time you took to read it.
