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    Leather jacket and freedom :)

    by Arrakis on 08-24-2013 at 09:33 AM
    NON-Lucid Green
    Lucid Blue
    I was dreaming that I was in a shop and I was trying to buy something for my girlfriend. I found a leather jacket I could smell that fresh leather smell and could also read the label with cleaning instructions and so on. I wanted to see where that was made because some of the labels were in English and some of them in Hungarian and Romanian. So I checked and it was indeed made in Romania but the website waswww.bailá.hu
    I woke up but my eyes were still closed. So I decided to go back to the dream I focused on the leather smell and I was there. The seller, a woman, showed me the jacket again and she told me the price:80 euros which I found a little steep, taking into consideration that the jacket was small and it was a discount shop. I could also overhear 2 DCs (rather old ladies, elegantly dressed) near me talking to each other:
    DC1: Look at this! 60 euros and they call this a discount.
    DC2: It should be at least 5% cheaper before I buy it. ( They were looking at a white bag)
    It was then when I decided to just take the jacket and not pay for it. I decided to fly away as quickly as I could but all I managed to do was hover 1-2 meters above the ground in a lotus position. The seller was puzzled and tried to grab the jacket and at the same time some kind of narrator's voice started talking from nowhere, informing me that :
    "Stealing is punished with 3-5 years in jail and a robbery even more than that so you should ..."
    I suddenly started to doubt it was a dream, I looked around: it was an ordinary small shop with clothes stacked neatly on shelves, some of them still in protective plastic bags, some of them on display...What if it's not a dream and I will go to jail for stealing this jacket!! Then I looked at me and saw that I was still floating in the air and I started smiling and I wished I could fly away from that shop and I started to slowly and awkwardly float away from the seller who was trying to convince me to either pay for the item or leave it there. I thought to myself: I want to fly faster! And poof! Two tiny, tiny bee wings appeared on the clothes on my back and started humming furiously and I could fly so fast I almost couldn't see any details of my surroundings. I was somewhat unsatisfied with this flying solution and I started didactically saying to me: You are in a dream, you can fly without wings, you can just wish it, why do you still cling to this surrogate?
    The same narrator voice started again:
    You are free to do anything you like in a dream, you are absolutely free so let your creativity...
    I was really annoyed because it was the same voice that had told me earlier that I would be jailed for stealing so I yelled:
    "Shut up!" ...
    and it did! "I am going to paint everything blue!" And with a broad brush I painted everything around me blue, just like in a cartoon.
    I realized then that my left shoulder started to hurt a bit and I knew that this was my shoulder in RL that was hurting so after a short deliberation I decided to let the dream go. I felt regret but at the same time I was absolutely sure that I could come back to this dream state whenever I wanted.

    I woke up and my left shoulder was hurting like I knew it would.
    Side notes:
    1. I could still read in the dream and apparently the DCs could discuss fractions so I should probably ditch the RCs that involve reading something.
    2. My DEILDS have changed I am much more calm in them, and I seem to have resisted the temptation to just multiply the (insert point of interest here) and behave like a junkie. I was at some point tempted to make and take 1000000 jackets because I knew it would have been so satisfying but I didn't.
    3. Even though I have always taken my LDs for granted there's still a lot of potential to improve their structure.
    4. The dream was in English even though my native language is Romanian and now I live in Germany and speak the local language at work. I don't speak Hungarian.
    5. The fresh leather smell was intoxicatingly pleasant.

    Updated 08-24-2013 at 09:55 AM by Arrakis


    Side note 2 Planet Arrakis

    by Arrakis on 07-20-2013 at 06:35 PM
    Side note 1 was initially a Waking Life entry but I decided to share it with you because I feel stuck and maybe someone can post something useful
    The feeling that I'm in some kind of winding tunnel has become stronger. I can almost "see" the limits of my attention. Also on days that I don't exercise I'm in a bad mood going from irritable to depressed.
    I feel that something is changing in my values,in the way I see the world ( the Germans have a word for this: Weltanschauung/ world view) but not every change is for the better. I attribute this to meditation, but I'm not sure. I have no proof of this, it's just intuition (or wishful thinking)
    There's a strong gap between how I perceive myself and how the others see me: It seems to them that my behaviour and my way of thinking improved substantially(I don't feel like a genious and I wasn't dumb before so how exactly am I better) but inside I feel like I'm just a massive thing that's simultaneously alive&inanimate object and that what I once considered 'me' is a lot smalle&less alive than I used to think. The nickname Arrakis never seemed more appropriate than now.
    I am pouring specific thoughts on this forum because I am under the impression that they are really important to my LD/WL.
    Ironically it is still very clear to me that part of me dreams and part of me is awake at the same time and that there is only one realm, like I am some kind of planet where things happen all the time, and that there is night and day, all part of the same process. No real use treating them separately.
    However, I probably need to look closer at this belief/observation and I know I will have to rephrase it over and over until I resolve this tension between the perceived inner unity and the intense feeling of being partially dead/automaton. How can one feel dead? That's another paradoxical/bad phrasing. I think what I mean is I observe myself doing things but I am only aware of doing them not deciding them and I also notice that they are not context sensitive most of the time. It's like being in a straight jacket and that straight jacket is you, is part of who you are.
    Why do I need LDs when I don't even know in what pocket my keys are?
    Do you know where your keys are?
    side notes

    Note 1

    by Arrakis on 07-20-2013 at 05:48 PM
    I haven't written anything since I joined this forum. I have had several LDs but I only remember how I gained lucidity in one of them: I was in a stressful situation ( that is too often the case ) and instead of becoming even more tense I thought to myself : That cannot happen in RL, so I must be dreaming! And All of a sudden I understood that I was dreaming and felt relieved and changed the scenery so to speak .
    I seem to be "dragged under water" for long periods of time, I forgot that I wanted to write my dreams and keep a DJ and so on. It's like sometimes I have this tunnel vision in my life when I can only focus on one or two important things and I completely forget about other things.
    I still meditate, not as much as I would like even though I find it subjectively beneficial.
    I was in Barcelona and I jogged up to 15 km a day. It feels like a dream now.
    I've noticed that when I'm on duty at the hospital and some emergency wakes me up in the night this really ruins my sleep, not just for that night but sometimes for longer. I wish I were more adaptable or that people were healthier. That would work too.
    I'm trying to connect math, physics, medicine, meditation, LD, martial arts training, jogging, healthy eating, nutritional supplements into one. I feel strained instead of stronger.
    Anyway this was a good English exercise.
    side notes