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    September 22, 1990 (31)
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    We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.


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    Recent Entries

    Absolutely nothing special.

    by Boxxu on 02-02-2014 at 03:06 PM
    I just had a dream i was at a party last night, like on of the parties i would go to when i was younger. I really wish something more interesting happened....oh well.

    Returning to that place....

    by Boxxu on 02-01-2014 at 04:17 PM
    Red is for Non Lucid.
    Green is for lucid.
    Purple is for my speech.
    Blue is for male speech.
    Pink is for female speech.
    Black is for side notes, that are not a part of the dream.

    I ended up going to a place last night that i haven't traveled to since i was younger. It's a large open space, only accessible through a secret path after following the train tracks for a while. The space is just very large, wide open nature area. Although, it has different sections. Like, there is a rock section, that looks similar to a desert / grand canyon. There is a large open fields part, and a part of trees and the forest. I didn't actually explore it at this time around like i have in past dreams, as the dream itself was very short. It's just very odd that almost all of my dreams have continuity, from dreams i had even when i was kid.

    I was sitting in my room with my cousin, who is just a bit younger than me. We where both really bored, and where tired of playing of video games. Suddenly, i had an idea. Why not visit that old place i used to go to? It could be a blast if i brought my cousin with me...too bad his parents are super over-protective, i probably won't be able to take him. I tell him about it and he does want to go, so we end up going outside to ask my parents. (since he was staying over my house). They said they couldn't agree to it because they knew his parents wouldn't agree to it. My cousin then just kind of shrugs and goes off to do something on his own. I figured since i have some alone time anyways, that i still want to check that place out. I 'remembered' not having been there in so long, and was extremely excited to go revisit it. I started off in the direction of the train tracks.
    ...after walking the tracks for some time, i spotted the hidden path in the woods. I remember pushing my way through the path, like an excited child once more. When i reached the opening i was hit with all the familiar feelings and joys of the past times
    (dreams) i had had here. I stepped forward, into my nature paradise....

    and then i woke up. :s In my dreams i have memories of past dreams, like as if my dreaming life is a separate continuous life that runs parallel to my waking one. In a way it does make sense...but for non lucid esoteric dreams to have a continuity along the lines of a lucid dream? I just find it kind of strange...
    non-lucid , memorable

    Illegal Operation, a bunch of false awakenings.

    by Boxxu on 01-31-2014 at 03:24 PM
    Sorry i havn't posted in a while, my weeks are very hectic and it's difficult to find any spare time, especially to write dreams down. I was dreaming throughout the week though.

    I had like 15 false awakenings last night. Because all those false awakening really threw me off, I will only be writing down the one solid dream i remember. I am appalled at my behaviour during this dream. This is not something i would ever, EVER consider doing in real life. There is a part where i kill another person, and i think it might even have been another dreamer, but i sincerely hope it wasn't...i don't want to hurt anyone. If it was, i'm sorry.

    To explain my color coding:
    Red is for Non Lucid.
    Green is for lucid.
    Purple is for my speech.
    Blue is for male speech.
    Pink is for female speech.
    Black is for side notes, that are not a part of the dream.

    I'm with a group of men, traveling along a highway in a car. to the left of the highway is a hill, or a slope. It goes down far enough that i cannot see the bottom. To the right, the slope goes uphill, yet i cannot see the top. Anyways, we are driving and discussing a plan. A plan we have, to break itno this place, and place an object i nthere, to destroy something, and also steal all the money from the place while i nthe process. I don't remember the exact plan, but it's solid, we cannot fail. Eventually we arrive at this lace, it's like a mixture of a school and a hospital. The students are adults though. So we come in through the main entrance, and lock it up. No one gets in and no one gets out. We head down a hall to left and enter the only door on the left. It's some kind of classroom. We come in and tell the teacher to shut the hell up, and give us the acess code for the electrical room, and the vault. She beings arguing with us, and givings us a hard time. None of my associates knwo what to do. I tell them i'll handle this. (this part is kind of confusing because i act like i'm lucid, and that i know it's a dream, but i am not actually lucid and don't realize i'm dreaming.)

    "listen, lady, your life is in your hands here. All you have to do is give us what we need and we won't kill you."

    "Well what about the class? we could easily just all over power you. And they are all witnesses, none of you are wearing mask. What are you going to do kill us all?"

    "These people don't matter, they are just dream characters. They aren't real, i can do whatever i want with them. Watch."

    I snap my fingers, and make one of the students stand up and casually wlak to the doro behind us, and lock it. She then comes and stands behind me, leaning on my shoulder and looking at the Teacher with a sly grin.

    "you see, complete control."

    I wave my hand and all of the Dream character's dissapear. The teacher looks upset, she knew she has lost.

    "Fine, i'll give you the acess codes. And then go away and leave me alone. The acess codes is 219."
    (219 is a number that follows me everywhere in waking life. this is kind of creepy.)

    I tell one of my associates to go check it out. he comes back in a minute or two and says it was correct. I look at the teach and say, "thanks." The shoot her several times.


    My associates and I are in a sort of in a cafeteria / lounge room, which is next to the acess room. There are more of us now. We completed our mission and are jsut kind of hanging out and relaxing before we leave. Suddenly someone comes up to me, i and i shocked. It is someone who i was friends with when i was younger, in waking life. He is older now, and still a skinny little s**t, but he looks a little 'meaner'.

    He looks at me and says, "I finally found you. If you want to live, come with me. I'm taking you to Andrew."
    (Andrew was another friend my waking life childhood. He was the sort of leader of their little 'crew'.)

    "You STILL don't scare me kid. Neither does andrew for that matter. It would be nie see them again thoguh, perhaps i can...'clear up'...some of that bad blood." I say with a smile on my face.

    "whatever lets go."

    He handcuffs me and we get in his truck. We are driving along the same highway we where using to get to the building i had just commited crimes in. We are nearing the exit, and i realize Andrew would probably kill me on sight, and i am handcuffed so there is nothing i can do.

    "Hey little bitch. I know you have hated me our entire lives, what do you say before we go to andrew we fight. Or are you a still a coward?"

    He looks at me and slams on the brakes. We pull over to the side of the road. He opens my door and kicks me out of the truck. I fall to the ground, but it doesn't matter, i needed to be hear anyways. I slide my arms aroudn my lower body, moving handcuffed hands from behind me to in front of me. I hear the truck door slam on his side and he is starting to walk around the back to get to me. I open the doro to his truck, get in, and lock the door. Whe he realizes this he comes running up to the side of the winder and begins smashing on it. "You F**king coward!!"

    "you're the one who wants to fight someone with handcuffs, not me."

    I reach around in his glove compartment and find the keys, I remove the handcuffs. It's go time. I unlock the door and kick it open, which knocks him back. I jump down out of the truck and land. I ready myself. "now it's a little more even. Although, probably not, because you never could beat me." He gets angry, and pulls out a knife. "that's going to kill you, i suggest you put that away."

    He ignores me and charges me. He goes for a stab in my stomach. I gracefully side step him, grabbing his arm in the process, and redirected the momentum to make his arm stab himself, in stead. He just looks at me with malice in his eyes, blood coming out of his mouth. He tries to say something, but more blood just comes out of his mouth. I look at his casually and say "Yeah, whatever kid." and gently kick him so he falls over, lying on the ground.

    "well, that takes care of that, and now...."

    Now, i realize i just killed someone on the side of the dang highway. This is not good. I can see all the people looking at me as they go by in their cars, some of them on phones, obviously calling 911. My only option is to cross the highway and retread upwards into the hill, as the hill was covered in forest. I cross and begin going around the woods, try to find a path. (The woods where beautiful by the way, all of the leaves where orange and yellow, and there was a heavy scent of 'fall' in the air. This is strange, as outside the woods everything was green.) I eventually find an opening, and...it's the boss. The one who organize the entire operation. He's stand by a tree, talking with some huge guy, must be his number one goon or something. The boss is short and fat. He is literally a spitting image of Ernie Potts from Hey Arnold!.

    I come running up them.

    "Boss, i ran into some trouble, I had to kill a kid on the highway and everyone has seen my face. I need to law low for a bit. Allow me to return to base."

    He looks at me for a bit, then lets out a very subtle grin.

    "Ah yes..i had....heard...about that. You can go to base as soon as you dig up the treasure. After yoru collegues retrieved the money from the school, they buried it here. I need you dig it up and take it to a location for me."

    "What...i can't do that. There are going to be cops everywhere, looking for me."

    "No no, it's fine. You'll be okay, i promise."

    "No, i'm not doing it."

    He chuckels a bit and looks at the big goon.

    "i understand your concern. But i am the boss, and you really don't have a choice in the matter."

    I get an idea. If i am forced to do this, i will just take the money and run. If i have to risk my life and freedom, then it will be for me and me only.


    "Ah, good, i'm glad you came to your senses."

    He turns around, and begins talking and joking with the Tall goon.

    Suddenly, it hits me.

    "Wait...you...you planned this whole thing."

    He turns around and looks at me, with a fake quizical look.

    "You are the one who told Andrew my location, and you told him the Operation we where on. You told him you would give him a cut if he helped take care of me. So he sent someone after me. But you knew i woudl easily outmatch him. You knew i would kill him in a public place, and become a suspect. And then your plan was to have me move the money to a location, so it would appear i was the only who robbed the school as well, making you and all your men completly in the clear."

    "...Rather impressive, you are not as dumb as you look."

    "you won't get away with this."

    "Oh? but i will....."

    He and his good pull out a large knife. They begin closing in on me. Alright, stay calm we got this. The goon comes at me, and i do the same thing i did to him as i did to the person who tried to stab me in the stomach earlier.

    The boos looks at me and snivels,"Impressive. But you will not kill me."

    he comes at me and swings his knife, i am forced to roll backwards to avoid it, i wasn't able to pull the knife out of the goons gut. He walks over to the goon and picks it up, switching his grips on the knife so he holds them backwards. He comes at me, and goes for about 7 or 8 swipes/stabs, and i dodge them all. However, he is not leaving any opening, and without a weapon to parry his attacks, it's difficult to create one. He manages to get a stab on my upper breast, under my left collar bone. I ignore the pain. He keeps attacking and i keep dodging. He starts breathing heavily....this is my chance...
    I take a side step forward, preparing the all powerful side step kick. Before i even bring my leg up all the way though, he jumps forward, and re-stabs my my breast, and the other knife goes into my lower abdomen.

    "You where fainting....you f**k...."

    i fall to the ground. He begins laughing obnoxiously.

    And then i wake up, with my breast and lower abdomen hurting me. I was wicked mad he had done that, and i remember not even opening my eyes when waking up. All i could think was, "that bastard! i have to get back in that dream and kick his ass!" But....i was not able to get back into that dream. If that was a real dreamier i killed in the school i am terribly sorry if i disrupted your dream. I mean no harm!

    There was another dream i had, but i can only remember bits and pieces of it, because as i said i had about 15 false awakenings last night so it was very confusing. The parts of that dream, there was like an all powerful vampire, and he was hunting my friend, who was a young weak vampire for some reason. I wasn't a vampire, but a vampire hunter. The dream basically consisted of me protecting my friend, fighting off the powerful vampire, and retreating and resting until he found us again. There was one part in the dream though, where we where at some college for some reason, and it suddenly got attacked by zombies. I rallied the students and got them all to start killing the zombies with me. Fun stuff.

    A reccuring past dream..

    by Boxxu on 01-25-2014 at 05:30 PM
    I have had this dream quite a few times. It almost like an RPG, but a little more than that. My "party" and i have to transport some object inside the lair of the main enemy, and it always proves rather difficult. I'm not sure what happens when we get the object in their, i haven't ever completed it. There is a sort of World Map, if you will. That is how you move about in the dream, and If an enemy is able to make contact with you, it turns into a battle scene, and you must fight. Very similar to FFVIII. As i stated, it really seems like an RPG, but it was as real as real gets in the dream.

    Proper music for this dream:

    Characters: There was me, for starters. I had on a mix of robes and Long sleeve wear. Black and godl colorered, i wielded a halberd / Naginata mix. I had the ability to summon a horse for a few short moment. there was another girl, but i cannot remember what she did or who she was, un-fortunantly she died rather early on. There was a Manticore type of thing with us, he was strong and silent. And there was another male, but i can't remember him at the moment either...

    This was basically me, but my naginata only had a blade on one end, and the pole itself was a bit thicker.

    The castle sits atop a mountain. My team and i have made it close to the enemies main Lair. We just have to get a bit further...it's been so tough getting here. It seems as though we have to climb up these walls to progress. The walls are almost arranged in a stair like fashion. There is dynamite attatched to a part of each of the walls, and in order to progress, you have to blow a piece of the wall to get through and up. We had managed to be stealthy, but it seems as though we have no choice now. I had our Manticore friend try to jump up walls (he had great jumping abilities) to see if he can distract and bring some of the enemies down to us, or to lead them near the part in the wall that would explode.....

    We end up fighting our way past enemies and managing to get through all the walls. The last one had an entrance into a room with a bunch of ropes.The ropes all lead up to the same point. We climbed up the ropes, and found ourselves atop a very skinny walkway, which eventually led to a small cliff / basin on the side of the enemies castle. There was an endless drop off of the walkway, leading back down to the base of the mountain i presume. It was too foggy to see very far down. (this entire fortress is on the top of a mountain.) There where two opponents over there, and they didn't look like any goons to me. We began to move down the walkway towards the area. Not suprisingly, one of them spotted up. She ran up top one the ledges, and grabbed something off a pedestal. Then, i'm not sure what she did, but the walkways started to rumble. Uh Oh. We ran as fast as we could, as the walkways started to collapse. Myself, the male and female managed to make it to the end of the walkway. The Manticore was having trouble...the walkways where already falling around us, he was jumping from piece of falling debris to piece of falling debris. I looked him in the eye, and that moment was enough to communicate was was going on. He was sorry, and wanted us to continue on without him and that he will be okay....The last piece debris fell, and he stayed on top of it, riding it down into the abyss. I called out his name as he fell....it was very sad. I was close to him. From remorse, to anger. A seething rage built up in me, they would pay. One of my collueges said my name, and i turned around to be facing the 2 girls. As i thought, these women where no mere goons. I didn't know who they where, but they seemed powerfull. They where both taller than all of us, maybe 8 or 9 ft. One had black hair and oen had blonde hair. Their skin was not human. It was a mix of purple and dark blue...the colors fading into themselves all over thier bodies. They appeared to have some kind of natural armour.

    This picture has a good example. If you look at her arms in this picture, their entire bodies where covered like that, but it was purple and dark blue instead. the "armour" didn't cover their faces though. their skin was a pale dark white.

    ...One of the them charged us. She was fast. She stabbed the girl that was with us. Put her fist right through her. Shit, we need to move...The male with me starts running towards the upper cliff, one of them follows him. I hope he will be okay. Now this one is left just staring at me...I haven't moved from the cliff. This is a 50/50 chance i can pull this off....i get in a defensive position, trying to make it seem like i'm going to fight her here. She remains still for a moment, but i remain cool so as to not expose my plan. Finally, i notice a few muscles in her leg move ever so slightly. Yes, it worked! i side step, and just as i did, she dashed right to the edge of the cliff, right where i was standing. she looks rather confused, and is trying not to fall. I'm behind her, and i say into her ear , "say hi to -insert manticore name here- for me." And i kick her right off the cliff. Good riddance. I look over to see my male friend attempting to fight the other one, but it's too much for him. He is killed....i sigh to myself....all of my friends are dead...this is not going well....suddenly i spot that pedastal one of them was at earlier. I begin making my way up to it. Un-fortunantly, the demonic girl didn't forget about me. Thankfully, my friend had led her a bit of ways away. She was fast, and closing distance even faster. I ran to the pedastal. There was on orb on the ground..it was clearly in the pedastal before. I pick it up and scan for a way out of here real quick. There are two large doors at the base of the castle...with a small hole in the middle of them. About the size of the Orb. Right...i get it....i began running towards the door at full sprint...the demonic was getting rather close now...too close for comfort...and there was...more? shit. I would never make it to that door before they caught up to me...unless....
    I still had an ability left, another trick up my sleeve. I could summon a war horse, but only for short amounts of time, and it had a rather long "cooldown" (inb4 smite, yeah, this probably where it comes from) . I summon my war horse and begin riding very fast towards the door. Those things are not able to keep up. as soon as i reach the door i jump off and the horse fades into the night. I put the orb in the door, and it creaks open. I remove the orb, and slam the doors shut. I turned around, and i was in the some kind of dining hall in the bottom of the castle....i stopped for a minute to dwell on all the sacrafices up until this point. I sigh to myself, and begin my journey into the castle.....

    and they dream fades as i start walking. I've had many dreams trying to infiltrate this castle. And i never seem to quite get in there....very frustrating.
    non-lucid , memorable

    flying pony go karts with makeshift instruments.

    by Boxxu on 01-23-2014 at 05:50 PM
    I had a strange dream last night.

    I'm in my apartment with six people who are my friends (but i don't actually know them they are random DC's). The apartment resembles mine, but is totally different than the real one. We are playing music, but the instruments don't make any sense at all. I don't recall what the others where playing, but i was playing....a piece of cardboard. (yes, you read that right and are not dreaming...or are you? Quick, do a reality check!). We where playing some kind of Jazz tune but i wanted something fast and more upbeat. No one wanted to play anything but that jazz though. I decided to take it upon myself, and started playing a different song anyways. The rest of "the band" ended up playing what i was playing. We began playing faster and faster, and every time we sped up it got louder and louder. It was getting to a point that i was getting really tired and had trouble keeping up but i was very happy, spinning around playing my cardboard. Right before the climax of the song, the dream fades and we are on a circular race track in the clouds. There are no clouds above the racetrack, just the race track being clouds itself. The clouds/track was a sort of really light Amber color, it was quite beautiful. there was some space between the racetrack and the surrounding clouds, so the track was separate. off in the distance there where black clouds, making a sort of ring around the entire perimeter. Me and the six friends began racing in go karts. The race continued on, and the faster the carts went, they started transforming. As we went faster the carts turned into "customized" karts if you will. They each resembled one of the Mane Six from My Little Pony. I had a Rainbow Dash kart, and i thought that was weird. (because Rarity is best pony). So the race continued on like this...i was having trouble taking turns now though because the Rainbow Dash kart was too fast. I still managed to continue though, and we all just kept going around around the track. At this point, the karts transformed again, and they where the actual ponies they resembeled. (my friend riding the karts where gone somehow). I was now riding on the back of Rainbow Dash as we flew through the air. The rest of the ponies just sat in the middle of the track and cheered us on. I was having so much fun, it was incredible. But, Rainbow dash kept going faster and faster and she wasn't even able to stay within the track anymore. We where doing large circles around the entire perimeter, just barely missing the black clouds. I knew where going to not be able to stay within the area if we kept going fast. I tried to tell Rainbow Dash to slow down but she laughed and said "yeah right".

    I hear Applejack yell, "Don't go past the black clouds!"

    It was at that precise moment, where, we went past the black clouds. There was a loud roar and my vision was shaking. Rainbow Dash stopped abruptly, and flew us back over to the Mane six. A giant Cyclops came out of the black clouds, and a Castle was being raised out of the racetrack. (castle on clouds, really cool to see.) The Cyclops began trying to swat at us furiously, while also destroying the castle.

    Un-fortunantly this is where i woke up. That dream had alto of potential, too.

    I should also note that i don't write down every single dream i have here, either out of laziness or if it is one that i would like to keep personal. So if it seems i haven't had a dream in a few days, do not be fooled!