DorianMask
Visionary

3/2/20

I am in my godmother's house with her many kids
I am baking
She gets frustrated by my spilling flour
I tell her I will clean up
When I'm done I wipe it all up
The bread is a small breadstick someone asks me about
They compliment me
I notice the house is dirty
I spend maybe 30 minutes cleaning up their living room of debris and paper left from the kids playing
My godfather is very surprised and pleased at the end result
He mentions having a special time on certain days where we can clean like that, as the whole house is disorderly
I am fine with it because it's superficial cleaning and wouldn't take any time at all

Transitions to walking down a street with old highschool friends/church friends
There are several youth group bands set up all singing the same music along the street.
I have a rolling table stand I am leaning on and roll it over to watch the groups play in unison
Suddenly a band behind everyone starts playing their own music
It's not bad it's just not what other people are playing
The other bands stop and seem confused so they turn around and watch the new band play
I stand with friends and lean on my pummel horse type stand table while watching

I am walking down the street with friends again
My buddy Nate decides to hit on some girls we are walking by
He tells them he wants to show them something
We all get on a shuttle/bus that has a sound system
We all have headphones we plug into their sound ports
He is playing some song for them he wants the girls to listen to
I am confused because the music isn't that great
He then tells one of the girls that she looks just like the lead singer of this band and he thought she would think it was cool
People are somewhat impartial
We all now take turns playing music for each other to listen to
I tell the group it would be cool if we randomly played a song and had the group guess who was the one who selected it as a game
People like that idea
We only get a couple of songs in
One is apparent because it's a sappy hills CW type song that is definitely this helpless romantic girl sitting in the front who used to have a crush on me

I now notice that I have two small fuzzy very very newborn baby birds sitting on my head
They seem incredibly premature and I'm not sure they will make it
I carefully remove them from my head and place them down on a counter
They are both still alive but I gather they will need some serious care
I am in a run-down market like a dollar store with no attendant so I start rummaging around looking for materials to build a nest/make food/administer it to them
I've only seen a few videos of people taking care of birds this young and small
I get some soft towels and find some creamy soup I wonder how I will keep them warm and look for a hot water bottle
The attendant comes out and looks confused
I tell them the situation and show them the birds, they are relieved and sympathetic to my cause


3/05/20

Driving w mom in a smart car
She drives off the road, on a log, and almost over a cliff
I carry the car backward and turn it around by hand

I am driving through a winter storm with an older woman in the car
It is a 50's classic now
The controls are two levers
It is tricky but manageable
Highway speeds but tons of snow and ice on the road

I am kidnapped by a larger bald man with glasses
He takes us (myself and three siblings) to some old house in the middle of nowhere
He has an incestuous family
His kids don't wear clothes and they are all dirty
I escape with my sister
We make it a town over before he finds us
He takes me in a car to a meeting
The meeting is in an old dim looking pool hall/bar
They are having a sacrificial service
They are burning a toddler
I don't want to be there
It is a celebration for them they are all dressed up and communing like it is a holiday for them
I am disgusted and try to leave several times
Each time he walks me back in and forces me to watch
It is smokey in the room
I escape and make it to my car while everyone is leaving
I call the police to report what is going on
It occurs to me there were many firefighters and police there and They may be everywhere
The guy on the other end of the phone seems unphased
I hang up and key into my car and start to drive away


3/06/20

Being given a tour of the space shuttle that is a mix of Saturn v
There are a few of us standing on the core up high
There is a screen that simulates the heights and I stand to the side because it is almost disorienting
Just then the top opens up and we are lowered down the sides almost like a ride
We each have a chest strap holder like a roller coaster and we line the inside of the craft facing each other
I wonder if Starship could hold people like this

I am in a classroom with people I went to high school with
The math teacher seems hip
He has long dark hair with some grey streaks
He also wears black-rimmed glasses
He has a unique sense of humor and the students like him
There is a note taped to the front board talking about how his wife left him
It seems like it's meant to be a morose joke
A kid I went to high school with is singing/beatboxing a song and everyone is listening to him
I have the sudden realization that I am too old to be here
It frustrates me
I say out loud realizing it is a dream
'why am I even here? I am too old to be in school!"
Everyone stops and the teacher looks at me
The teacher begins talking to me directly
I don't recall everything he says but he tells me something along the lines of "because you want to learn" it is true, I have been asking to be taught by my dreams
I just didn't expect it to be so literal
He explains a few things to me and his voice becomes jibberish
I begin to wake up
I remain still and focus on the dream and talking to him
The dream reappears around me exactly as before with fewer students in there with me
This happens a few times and I am able to reform the dream and reappear in the same classroom always with the teacher
The last time I reappear the colours are off in the room
I ask him why things look different now
It is almost night time and there are no lights
I manifest small flames in my right hand and intend them to go along the wall in the back of the classroom, with each one the room gets brighter
Once they line the back wall they begin to dim and flicker
I intend them all to be brighter at once and they do
The room is brightly lit now
Our studies continue

I am in the back of a department store mixed with a chemical facility it seems
There is an invisible person wrestling with me
I ask them to help me carry cans of a beverage out and they oblige
I see a girl I used to know hooking up with one of the guys in the bathroom
They are shocked I walked in but I don't care I just have to urinate really badly
I set up to pee and go for what seems like minutes
The guy looks over at me amazed that I am going for so long
The relief feels amazing
My penis hangs down past the knee of my shorts when I am done, I don't care

I am in a gas station/head shop
I purchase a large water pipe and a smaller rig for oil that looks like the nectar collector but more convoluted
For some reason, I throw a small weight through a Pepsi machine and it puts a hole in the front of it
Whenever someone uses water on the beverage station, pop spews out the hole
I find the water cut off and switch it off to fix the problem
I find the water hookup to the machine that was broken and unplug it
I am now able to turn the water back on and other dispensers work


3/07/20

There's a taco truck part of a cultural festival thing
The tacos are super cheap and we buy a few to eat
Like a dollar apiece
I have a backpack full of money

In a friend's house, it is super big with many gadgets and an expensive computer and a voice-activated shower
I am the rich kid doing some promotional tv spot
I am walking on top of a telephone booth and something else that is mostly glass
It breaks with my step and I crash through it falling to the ground
Broken glass is everywhere
I am bloody and covered in thousands of small glass shards
My stomach is cut up too
I can walk fine but everything stings
I go to the large house and tell the shower to turn on
It is a large walk-in room attached to the bedroom
The water is at the perfect temperature
I try to clean myself but some glass still remains
I am picking glass out of my skin the entire dream
I notice several cars driving down the long driveway from the bedroom which is on the second story
My friend's siblings have all arrived
They are all older
My friend offers me some shrooms to take for our trip
I eat one to microdose but never end up feeling anything
They are large like baby bellas not small like normal shrooms
He turns everything off in his room but tells me to leave his windows open
The screens are still in place
We go downstairs and meet his siblings who are all of various ages much older than us
One of his brothers has a hang drum he is playing on the stage in their front yard
I want to play it but never make it onto the stage


3/12/20

Driving see a circle of sunlight on the moon that fades in a minute or two
Parked at a campground that is also the parking lot of the spa
Kevin is giving me a tour of the new facilities
Everything is updated and newer futuristic looking
I am crying because I am back
I pack up and go to leave the parking lot
Drive down the street before I realize I forgot things on the ground by my campsite
A necklace and a few more things
Drive back and there is another car parked in the lot
I pick up my things slowly and a guy walks up to me and asks me if 73-year-olds can float
We talk about the tanks while I walk up to the spa with him
I tell him I was just leaving but I'm happy to talk to him
He is impressed with my knowledge and glad to talk to me
I tell him to tell the people in the spa about me
Mark is standing in the other room talking to other employees

Fast forward
I am in a camper/RV
I am looking at my body and it looks like someone else's body
My ribs pulsate and roll like a fish out of water
My elbow has an exposed joint like a puppet
I am made of a flesh coloured plastic material
My arm is many mechanisms
Someone is shocked I don't look human
I may be an alien
I say oh, those? Those are just my tubes


3/14/20

Some kind of political action event in a long hallway
People are lined up to hear different other people talk at certain intervals
There is a woman in a chair trying to talk to people but no one is listening because she isn't official
There is a man reciting the Hare Krishna
Everyone joins in and sings
There is a dance troupe of guys doing a pre-rehearsed dance routine
I join in for the fun of it but I don't know the dance
He tells me for the next segment I need a pair of boots
I don't have any
They have a special shoe with a brick on one foot
It is like a stomp routine
Later he asks me why I didn't dance as tight as them
I told him I'm not a dancer but I like to dance
I have no formal training
He is sitting at a computer
Upstairs there is a girl who has an amateur bakery in her room
Her oven is a wood stove made of plywood
There are tons of fresh baked bread rolls and sourdough in forms
Everyone seems to be really impressed with her
She is surrounded by older men trying to court her
I wait until fewer people are there and begin talking to her questioning about the oven and how it's constructed
I tell her I wish my parents let me have an oven in my room when I was younger
It is all a sort of historical reproduction now
There are hundreds of smaller birds that I thought were moths at first
They are tiny like the size of cicadas
They obviously are there for the crumbs
I ask her who eats the birds
And a cat appears and catches one on the floor
She says see, a perfect ecosystem
We have a conversation about historical reproduction and how someone a hundred years ago would never imagine that we would be baking bread the same way but then jump in our car and go a hundred miles an hour down the highway
She turns down many gentlemen callers
Our conversation is pleasant


3/15/20

Elon tells me to collect foliage
They capture a dinosaur and take it across the street
I have a special calculator that is an mp3 player for Victor
Nikki falls weird while trying to snowboard down a mountain with fresh powder
We rescue her and she is embarrassed

I'm in a large airport terminal/arcade like a futuristic dave and busters
I am taking a trip overseas with Guy with Ginny too
I realize last minute I don't have a clothes bag packed and go back to pack clothes
I'm walking through the terminal and can't find my clothes anywhere
There is a leak from the ceiling and a couple of small pools of water on the floor
A worker middle-aged woman tells me not to step there and I don't listen and slip slightly but maintain my step
She gets mad at me and tells me she is going to get me in trouble
I ask her if she is a middle school teacher because she's bad at ordering people around
A cop/guard comes over to me later and is annoyed the woman bothered him for such a stupid reason, he mocks her in front of me


3/16/20

Sitting at a four-top table with three other middle-aged women
They are silently bidding on fancy plates to eat pizza with a fork and knife on
The woman I am paired up with tells me she only puts one slice on a plate at a time
We all put our heads down to bid
I don't understand the process and they are all seasoned in it
I look at my phone and swipe away a few messages
The lady across from me chastised me for not paying attention and looking at my phone
I look up and begin to yell at her and tell them that they are all petty as fuck and this whole process is stupid as hell and I walk away out of the store

Down the street, I see Nikki by a large tree next to a river
We hang out and it is a pleasant rekindling
I am suddenly large and cut like Karl urban we begin to hook up but I am also watching it happen
As the intercourse progresses there is a power-play between who is in control
Her face gets blood red and pulsed like she is lifting weights and she grows a beard as she becomes more forceful
The me I am watching asks her why can't I just love you like I used to, and she shrugs

I am in a Halloween store with my mother and there are workers in costume just casually walking around
I go to the makeup section to browse
There is an upstairs loft that isn't too populated but has a guy sitting at a desk
He is selling laser-cut temporary tattoos that literally burn complicated designs into your skin but shed within a day or two
He shows me some demos and I am impressed
It looks like it hurts but he assures me it's quick and painless, he also shows me pictures of how quickly it fades, I think it's a great idea
There is a small snack shop connected to the costume store that has three mini sliders for sale
They have 3 of them put together to show the workers on a shelf up high with a mirror directed to show the reflection
They seem tasty but I don't try any
There is a drive-thru

I am suddenly in a Mexican restaurant of sorts back in the kitchen
I gather I am a server but hanging out with the cooks
I see one of the cooks eating his lunch real quick
There is a paper towel dispenser which is full of long flat tortillas rolled up
His burrito is half hanging from the ripping part as he eats the remainder
I take both hands and pull out the last bit and ask him if I can have it while it's already in my hands
He shrugs and I realize I should have asked before grabbing the food with both hands
I apologize and begin to eat it.
It's dry but flavorful

I am a cowboy in the western 19th century
I am with a troupe who take over some ritzy plantation with force
We threaten with guns but aren't overly violent
The slaves are all worried at first but I assure them they are all free now and don't have to worry about anything
They are all african american women in their 20s and 30s and they are surprised and happy to be freed by us
The plantation owners aren't very pleased but go along with it
We all sit down to have a meal and serve ourselves family-style dishes
I have huge portions on my plate of coleslaw green beans and potato salad
It all tastes really good and I talk to the people around the table about how southern food tastes so much better when you're in the south
There is someone in my troupe who is severely prejudice against army soldiers and there is a soldier who is in the room too
He tries to fight him and wants to kill him outside
More army shows up and there is a large explosion


3/17/20

There were several episodes to my memory recall. But it picks up. And I am in a homie warm large cottage, that seems like it's at a summer camp or something. Surrounded by people that are there at the camp and they are familiar to me like festival.

There seems to be a kind of war. For the battle between the two sides, one is a red side one is a blue side people are dressed like pirates, but also like festival ware.

I talk to a guy who has multiple large sticks/logs, and one of them looks like a didgeridoo. I ask him if it's a didge and he says, I don't think so but it might be and I ask him if there's a hole in the center. I take it from him and begin to look and notice that the log is larger than I thought it was at an off angle and there is a hollow hole through the center of the trunk, but there are many cobwebs and debris inside of it and I don't feel like putting my mouth on the end to see if it reverberates like a didgeridoo.

At a certain point, there was a female companion with me who felt very warm. We were connected in a way that we knew each other prior to this experience. We spent time alone away from the group, we were inside of almost like a hanging woven wooden egg-shaped chair we sat in together and there was a spell put on the chair so that no one else could see that we were in it even while standing next to us. There was this overarching theme of magic. Like maybe we were magical creatures or we were hanging around magical creatures.

There are some memory gaps and it transitions to me exploring the outside area and there are multiple buildings all connected with a flat black asphalt pathway, that is almost as wide as a road and is very smooth and glossy. To move quickly. I put rocks under my feet and I'm able to slide down the hill very easily almost like I'm ice skating.

I see someone else pass me on the other side of the walkway only they are riding a flat disc-like sled. They look at me laughingly and are curious at what's on my feet as they pass me by going the opposite direction. I go to the far edges of the area and there's an older building that doesn't really seem to be used anymore, but there is a small family out front and I gather that he is making fake bigfoot plasters imprints And they are worried that I will catch them in what they are doing, but I pretend not to notice and ask them questions about the building. They say they will open the doors for me but no one is in there, so I don't really care. I end up walking through one of the glass panes into the building and it's like a science museum child's education center. With cartoonish graphics on the walls amongst other things but it is barren and no one is in there. I walk out and tell them what's the point of having a lock on the door if their windows are open, I continue walking around the campus.

I am suddenly in a theater/arcade area where everything has neon lights. They are low lit like pink neons and green neons and everything feels retro almost like from the 80s. I don't recognize anybody anymore and there are many older games that are being projected on a movie screen in a theater that people are playing. I ask a guy sitting upon a stool playing an old box arcade game what year it is and he says, it's 1980 I say, oh shit I must have time-traveled again. Now realizing that I am stuck in another time. I can't figure out how to get back, so I just wander around and explore the area trying to get to where I came from. Every new opening seems to lead to a new area. None of which looks like the place I was in before.

There's a big open midway. That seems like the opening of a movie theater with many different doorways going in different directions, it almost feels like a science museum. But more like a theater and everything is still retro colored and the people even are dressed in the style that was popular in the eighties.


3/18/20

I am in India
There is a strong current river next to the town I am in there is a long tube wave down the length of it
I befriend a young girl who identifies as a boy but she looks more androgenous
We venture around the markets of the town and they seem quaint and simple, yet familiar
I have one day left in India before I have to travel back and I am trying to figure out where to go to spend it
I have a conversation about which part of India is more Muslim and which is more Indian traditional
We are taken to an Indian temple that hosts pagan rituals
There are several guys in the group who seem like posers to me
They want to be baptized in pigs blood
They are lowered into aquariums full of blood and act super affected by the ritual
While this is happening the temple is lit with a green glow, it is night time
I begin coughing hard and a long bloody hairy mess comes out of my throat
I cough up this bundle of blood and hair and feel incredibly relieved when it is all out, it takes a minute or two to drag it out
I am annoyed at the white guys who paid to have the faux ceremony and gather it is a service the locals provide to tourists who don't know any better

We are at a convenience store and the guys are being rude and rambunctious
I have painstakingly baked a cheesecake from scratch and one of the guys found it and ate it all
I am pissed off because I have to shave
I grab his mouth and press the remaining cake out of his mouth and smear it on my face to shave with
I wipe it off with napkins
We find a snack dispenser that has reusable plastic bags under it of different sizes to our snacks in, I am trying to do the bat conversion to figure out if I have enough money left over to buy some

There is a large overweight man who comes into the store and pushes over a girl in our group
I start hitting him with pipe pieces on the floor and he is shocked
He claims innocence and was just trying to get her attention
He walks back into the kitchen and asks for hours to work, they put him to work


3/20/20

Cooking school under one chef she is female
We are in blue and red teams
She asks me to make chocolate ice cream with thousand island
I spend time walking around looking for the recipe folder
My friend from my last restaurant job is in the crowd and wants to talk about aliens but I am busy trying to put the recipe together
It ends up looking like a hamburger bun with ice cream in the middle
I ask the chef if they are macaroons
She says no that would be cream on cream
we take a field trip to Tel Aviv to sample traditional food
I am excited because it looks very authentic and the restaurant is filled with locals
We file into booths along the wall
There are mostly females and I am one of the few guys
We look at menus and I order a coconut shrimp appetizer but don't remember ordering my main course
The restaurant seems to be meat-based
After we place our orders we are ushered next door to a warm springs spa where we can relax and get massages and general pampering
It is very relaxing and the water feels great
We are all in our bathing suits
After some time we finish as a group and begin to congregate in front of the restaurant next door for our meal
One guy in the group is trying to complain/make a joke that we should all be in our trousers to relax, but he is wearing a long traditional dress and so am I. He says "everyone is wearing their trousers come on", I reply slyly, "Oh really? Everyone huh?" Sarcastically, people giggle at me and the teacher next to me laughs at my observation that he is not in trousers
We sit in new tables this time that are rectangular heavy wooden tables with wooden chairs all around
There are maybe a dozen such large tables in the hall
Just as people around us are getting their food a very large crowd of maybe 50 Muslim men arrive in the open-ended restaurant all cheering clapping and singing
They go from table to table one at a time lifting every chair and table up to shoulder length while chanting a certain prayer or blessing very loudly
When this happens I notice the women lean backward and throw their heads back and the men lean forward and bow over their table
I want to watch but an obese man at the table next to me grabs my neck/head and holds it down during one of the blessings
When they get to our table the food is already on it but we all stand up and let them lift our chairs and table while we stand by and attempt to sing along with the blessing
Once they finish the whole crowd departs as quickly as they arrived singing and clapping getting quieter as they leave the area
The whole experience was energetic and mystical almost otherworldly
We are now sitting at our table looking at the food which has been sat in front of us. I don't remember what main I ordered but I am sure I don't have the right food, other people's meat looks really good but I think I may only have an appetizer
The dream fades as I look around the table at everyone's entree, wondering if this is family-style or if we are only allowed to eat what we ordered.


3/21/20

At a rodeo wearing a long tan coat
There are many people there
A native american girl keeping giving me weird looks
A guy tries to sell me his run-down jeep cherokee for $400
Jake Neely runs around like a wild beast chasing a cow
I have a sniper rifle


3/22/20

Purple electrical storms
5 tornadoes/dust devil's
Eat waffle house to go
At a school after hours hanging with a teacher

A large america festival with thousands of people closely packed in
Run by a company that sells fake underwater experiences using fish tanks and backdrops

At some underground party/festival and hear a band playing in the basement
I see a guy who looks like weird al there is no one downstairs watching
The band sounds awesome like electro-funk and they are wearing costumes like cybertronic spree
Lasers and light effects and smoke, it is an entrancing show
I watch and groove for a while and a couple of people show up and are super surprised that I didn't come specifically to see the band and don't know their names
They both are wearing cybertronic spree t-shirts
they go back to the band manager and tell them I am living in 2015 and don't know anything but that they need promo people and I might be useful

Something about Bin Laden coming down a river in a boat to see me
I have two books I take with me
We sit in the boat, it feels Egyptian
We talk for a while
Afterward, a guy who works for him tells me he is impressed that I talk to girls every day


3/23/20

Going to Wayne's house for shamanic group
There are many people I don't recognize
A lot of them are young
Gin is with me
We watch a pixar movie about a dragon that changes colours
There is a balloon made of glass in the room
The shamanic practices never start
I gather he doesn't practice anymore
His wife left him and he lives alone

I am trying to get to Wayne's house and driving the car through some shopping mall that is also a restaurant
People are shocked I have a car on the walking path
I ask a woman how to get to a certain address she tells me to follow her
She leads me to another woman who starts to get a table for me
I tell her I asked the other woman how to get to the address on this paper I have
She rolls her eyes and walks away
I decide to use my phone and google it
I was close, his house is through a shop at the end of a corridor

I leave Wayne's and walk down the block
I am in Kettering by a large field
I see Jack with his drum and many others showing up for an event
There are maybe a hundred people there
Jack tells me it's drum day, he asks me to move a garbage bin to the edge of the road so the smell doesn't blow into people while we play
I am amazed there are so many people gathered.
I am suddenly upset no one has masks on and everyone is pretending it is like before with no precautions
I decide to go back to Wayne's to tell him about the drum circle
He has no idea but is surprised by the coincidence
He doesn't want to leave the house

There is a cafe in the mall outside his house with a stage
There are many musicians who gather to make music
I have my guitar with me in its soft case but I don't play
One of the musicians has a rattle that is many hands that clap when you shake it
He has some monologue about how making tools to congratulate yourself stunts progress when you self reinforce without external checks
A larger vehicle drives by that he made with dozens of the same rattles automatically shaking and cheers playing through loudspeakers
It's like a mobile cheering and clapping crowd. But no one is clapping
I am missing my guitar and go around the stage looking for it, I see several cases that are the same as mine but have other equipment in it
I realize I left all my stuff in my car
Someone has my possessions in a felt purse they put aside for me
I jokingly ask if I can keep the bag and they say no
I walk back to my car, a child asks me if I am looking for younger people, I say no I'm leaving now, everyone says bye to me

I'm in a classroom that feels like a mix between an art room and a cafeteria
I look at myself in the mirror and I am a younger blonde girl with odd shapes painted on my face like Bowie
I get into a verbal argument with a table of obese african american girls sitting in front of me
They were making fun of someone close to me and I began questioning them and telling them off
One of them got up and started walking towards me
I mock their actions asking them if they were going to hit me because they disagree with me
I am on a roll and they don't know how to respond because everyone around them is astonished they are being told off by a little girl
A bigger girl who looks trans begins to get an attitude with me, I tell her off just the same
People are on my side because I am standing up to horrible people who are known bullies
She eventually gets fed up and walks away
People are happy for me
I make a comment about something big as she walks away because I notice she is a head taller than everyone else
People go ooooooooh and I feel like I have won the day

*NSFW*

Spoiler for NSFW:

I am at Alyssa's house on the front porch
I buzz the door because I know she's home
She comes to the door but doesn't open it
I hear her moaning through the speaker box
I can hear her pleasuring herself and her little squeaks of joy, the sounds of her body
She rubs herself to climax while I stand at the door
She then slowly opens the door and I see she is completely naked
She looks up to me with a sultry wanting lust drunkenness look in her eye
I confirm she is alone in the house by glancing back
I reach down and run my fingers through her slit gathering some of her juices
I bring my hand to my mouth and taste her while she bites her lip watching me
She tastes like sweet nectar
I step into the house, the door shuts behind me as I feel her naked body against me
The dream ends

3/26/20

Road trip south to Florida w family
Get there and realize Gin isn't with us
They say she's not invited and I get angry and yell
It's a white house kinda run down I think it may be my uncle's second home
We stay on the first floor
I go to the basement to explore
It is dark and cavernous like a dungeon
Cody is with me as we venture from room to room
There is water under the floor
There are tons of red jellyfish looking creatures in the water
I Google them on my phone
I slip into the water once but they don't bother me
Cody helps me up
We go into a larger room that has metal bars all around the windows like a prison and a very large almost statue-like dagger/feather hanging diagonally from the ceiling through the room
The whole room is musky and rank with cobwebs all over and vines hanging from the ceiling
My mother's brother shows up and flips on the light switch to the room
The lights flick on and everything looks normal now, flat white walls and tile floors
I am shocked that it looked so crazy before and wonder what the effect is
I pull out my flashlight on my phone and turn the lights to the room off again and shine it
I see now the effect, the light shines through the thin walls and shows the bars in the other side of the windows and such
The large feather dagger hanging from the middle of the room is gone
I try to describe it and mention I have seen it before, I've been here before

I am with a group of friends in a post-apocalyptic scenario
Many people are migrating at once and there is chaos
Large crowds of people walking down the street congregating at certain waypoints to meet with others
At one of the waypoints I see a girl I used to know, only she looks slightly different
I glance at her name tag and it says Elizabeth though I know her IRL name is Savannah
I say loudly, Elizabeth eh? As I walk out of the crowded room with her to my back
She is with one of her friends and calls out to me when we get outside
I go back to her and we talk
She looks different but still familiar, slightly rougher as if life has been tough for her
She mentions she has a place where we can sleep for the night if we need
My friends are very interested because we are nomadic survivors now and will take anything we can get
It skips to the house where she offered us to stay
We are all in one room and there are three beds in it
The sheets are made but it feels like an old person's house
I realize that people have died in these beds and there are towels on the floor at the end of the beds with fluids on them
There is that stale putrid smell in the air
I ask if it's true and she says yes, the place she works at deals with body removal and she gets to use whatever is leftover
I am immediately bothered by the situation
I cannot sleep in a bed that someone just died in
Someone in the room questions me as to my hangups and I tell them
"The fabric of space-time, the literal three-dimensional space is torn or altered by the transition when someone dies. This place is tainted by death"
The person struggles to listen to me and kind of rolls their eyes at me
I don't care and leave

There is a fragment where I am with a large hispanic family
One of them has started a food truck and is catering a party they are having
Everything is free and laid out like a cookout
People have their fill and there is still plenty of leftovers I pick through
Some 7 layer taco dip
Some chips, some tacos, and a tres leches cake with white icing
It all tastes very good but I don't have any utensils and eat with my hands
The icing goes everywhere

I am on some gameshow with several over thieves and criminals
We all take the same tour bus around town
I gather the theme is something about who can steal the most without getting caught
We are given nothing and no help
But everyone must be secretive and no one really talks to each other
At the store, one guy tries to take a large pallet of rolled quarters but is immediately caught by security
I bend over to help and hand the stack of rolled quarters back to the guard
While doing so I skim two rolls of the top with my fingers without anyone noticing
Sweet I am broke and hungry as hell
We are all walking around a grocery store trying to figure out what to buy to eat
Everyone else is looking for packaged processed food
I go to the fruit isle because it is the cheapest and best nutrients for the buck
I buy some lemons and avocado with my change
I go back to the RV we are staying in and make a pitcher of lemonade and eat the avocado
Someone else was caught trying to steal something
I go back out and attempt again
We are by a casino that has large golden letters on a sign
I take one and wrap it in a towel and barely make it back to the RV
It is then revealed to me that I have been caught and the whole show was secretly being filmed about us, not about what we were told
I manage to escape in a bathrobe with my pitcher of lemonade in my hand
I am with someone else who is older and reminds me of my mentor Doug
We steal an armored RV which belongs to the security following the show
They are not pleased and shoot at us as we drive away
We crash through a gas station and stop for some reason
Doug asks me if we want an assistant
There is a younger asian boy who wants to join our adventure
I am appalled because it is dangerous and I don't think we need to have a child involved with this
He asks the kid if he wants to come and he says yes so we let him on board
We drive away speedily while being shot at by the pursuers
The windows and the car are bulletproof
I find an assault rifle loaded in the back, I cock it, take off the safety and proceed to try to shoot back, all the windows are barely cracked but not open really
As one of them starts to drive up close to us on the back right I stick the nozzle of the gun out the crack and shoot out one of their tires
We are on the highway going very fast and they immediately wreck into the sidewall
We lose our pursuers and continue driving along
I begin searching the RV for any supplies
It seems brand new and not stocked at all
I find a mini-fridge and go through it
Nothing but an empty lunch bag in it
But I pull a cover from the back and discover a boatload of cookie dough of various flavors
I hand some off to Doug and the kid
We munch on cookie dough while driving away to freedom, the dream fades


3/28/20

I am in a bigger white house sleeping in a bed with gin and another couple
They are older and the woman looks kind of washed up
I had seen another couple in the house cleaning that looked just like the other couple and the woman told me it's her sister who is now with her ex. He looks like the other guy but they are not related
I gather we own the house now but they still live there as cleaners
They also have kids who are running around
I am not very amused and find the whole thing rather unprofessional

I am suddenly in another house which is like a small studio
There is a guy with a shaved head and hair on the front of his head only and glasses
He is showing a custom washing machine he built which fills itself with a container of soap and starts itself at a tap, he is proud of it
He leaves and his girlfriend begins to give me the tour/introduction
I am in an Airbnb of sorts but it is very small
It is rustic and in the middle of nowhere in the forest
The bed I will be sleeping in is in the same room as their kitchen/laundry room and she tells me she will be coming into the room to do things but she won't bother me
I am fine with the arrangement because there isn't a lot of space
I venture around the land and it is very green
There is a small stream running parallel to the property and there is bright green moss all around the base of the many trees
I see large spiral snail shells in the moss and amazed by their size

I am suddenly in a post-industrial landscape with a large cathedral-like manor that houses an orphanage or church I am unsure
I was once part of the community but now gather things have changed and I am different
They have a prophecy of a dark one I may be fulfilling
I begin flying around the many rooms in circles high in the air
I am dressed as Santa Claus
I continually shout Merry Christmas as I fly by people
The kids all point and laugh but the adults are cautious and lead them away
I feel several loose spiral shells in my mouth and spit them out to look
My hands and face have gone dark
I am eating a slushy from a paper pack and slow down by an adult, they take the trash from me
They make a comment I am acting like a child now and laugh though most of them still fear me

2/27/20

I am in an ice cream place located in a gas station of sorts. There are many treats some infused with cannabis, I gather I am in colorado. While ordering I befriend some people and they offer to give me a ride to where I am going, I'm like 40 min from where I am staying. It is night time and I cannot see out of the car. We joke while he drives and is constantly turning around looking at me and the other girl in the passenger seat. He suddenly drives over an embankment and we plow through an angled corn field as we fall down, the stalks speedily crushing under the cars weight as it falls. We fall for a while as we all scream and feel mostly weightless in the vehicle. We hit the water with a sudden jolt. It is dark and murkey.

Fast forward we are being called into a unique court room. The girl who was in the car with us died. The driver is being held responsible. I am just a witness because I rode in the back. The court seems to be a dual between two large creatures. They are controlled with your mind when you hook up to some alien looking umbilical cord. I have flashbacks of the accident while I sit in the courtroom and the session begins.

I break through the windshield by kicking hard with my feet. The car/red suv is sinking in the murkey muddy water. I drag her and him out, her arm is missing just above the elbow, I can tell it's bad. He doesn't seem too injured so he helps. We all swim together trying to keep her above water. The cliff is high and flat walled. Straight flat segments of wall connect together as they meet the water. We must have fallen a couple hundred feet.

I am sitting in the court room wearing a hospital gown. My family is in the audience. The room is blue and golden with accents along the ceiling. There is a case being made. The boy who drove is being charged with recklessness homicide. The girls family is there too, they are scornfully sad. I gather the only way to win is to have your large creature defeat the other creature. I am not being charged but I am in control of one of the creatures. They are sentient but are also slaved to the brain hookup. One is large and grey, with a long backwards sloping head to a point, no mouth but deep dark recessed eyes, it stands with a hunch almost gorilla like but is incredibly muscular, elegant looking and smooth. The other is colored like a hornet. It has a swollen head and insectoid body, with long dagger like appendages. It stands at the opposite side of the room facing it's companion. I still feel traumatized. The accident feels too recent. I have fresh wounds and bruises all over my body.
I don't talk to anyone.

Even though the water is murky it still feels like there are waves crashing against us. I am the only one who can barely touch the bottom as the three of us hobble to the rocky waters edge. There doesn't seem to be anywhere to climb up. A flat wall against the pounding water. It begins to look familiar to me. I remember seeing this before. Some of these sections of walls have hidden doorways in them I think. I see them open in my mind's eye. We approach the wall and she begins to faint, she is losing a lot of blood, I just can't tell because it is dark and I only barely see her injuries. I press on the side of the rock wall with my free hand, it becomes a sort of doorway and cracks open with dim light on the other side.

I feel the device hook up to the back of my head. I swirl at the sensation. Someone in the room is trying to sell me a $400 pen. It doesn't look so special to me. My perception is now split in the room. I see out of both sets of eyes. One taller and standing where the larger creature is. One small and weak in the front where everyone is staring. We don't fight. Rather there is an internal dialogue now. There is an alien debate occuring in my head. They want to know what to do with us.
We aren't supposed to be here.

2/24/20

I am in a dinosaur park with friends and family. While walking through a field we see what appears to be a dinosaur trap laid out on the ground, with weighted wires going into the trees, there are toy mini dinosaurs and torn up sheets in the bed of a larger metal frame. We hear kittens meowing from inside but cannot see anything.

The park is very beautiful with large prehistoric trees and shrubbery all around. My cat is running around unleashed and I gather she has wandered too far. Suddenly a large trex with purple and orange colouring starts chasing us from across the field, it's roar echoing our innards. I call my cat loudly and she runs towards us just barely in front of the rex. She makes it to me while we are running and I scoop her up to run towards the treeline. I tell my family we need to get in the dense folliage to escape. We barely make it to safety as the rex tramples the trees behind us. We begin to walk down a path, we tell a worker about the rex we see, but they are also a dinosaur and smile with big teeth.

We are now in a period based town. Everyone wears decorated corsets and top hats. But there is still a dark like and partially gothic tone. I opt for a train ride and leave my family behind in the town to look around and shop. The train is mainly populated by witches and druids. They are all dressed period, but with pagan garb and accessories.

I befriend a girl who is quite short with almond eyes and brunette short hair. She is coy and playful while also being witty and fiercely forward. We get closer and she reminds me she has a boyfriend regularly, it doesn't phase me in the least as I can tell she doesn't care. He seems like some ringleader with small dreads and bright blue contact eyes who is never around her. I gather she is a vampire of sorts, pale skin, morose demeanour yet predatory in her desires. We venture around the train between the different ornate cars from time to time. Taking in the sights of the passing countryside, sharing meals, and playing games. We spend hours laying in bed remembering our lives and gently caressing each other, nothing sexual, just sensually emotive. She tells me she doesn't like what happens to her at night. Unphased at thinking she is a vampire I ask is it because her teeth get longer? I then tell her I always found the taste of blood to be unquenching. To let her know I am unbothered by her condition, and can relate to her. She hardly looks at me but I know she is sad for some reason. We form a strong bond on the trip, perhaps 2 days have elapsed and the journey is coming to a head.

She sits in a booth table along one of the carriages. There is suddenly a great drama stirring the passengers. The people of the car are now united against me. They threaten me with dark magic. I tell them to do their worst as I am unafraid. At once a dozen of them put out their hands and begin making noises with their mouths like they are casting spells. Nothing happens and I shout they are all made up. The train has stopped at a gift shop town with many rooms to purchase trinkets and accessories. I step out on the platform as the witches are still trying to curse me. I outstretch my hand and shout with strong forward intention "Now That Is Enough!" A bright light flashes engulfing the entire area.

As the senses return, it seems the dark gothic vibe of the people in the car has been lifted. Some people file out of the train with completely white eyes, they are pale and nude, almost stupified. The dozen or so who were dark are now stripped barren and pale. I ask someone on the platform what just happened. She tells me that they saw their real leader and were blinded by the truth of it. I ask who they saw. She points to the woman standing next to me. Who is middle aged and still wearing period dress. She smiles and looks at me knowingly. I tell her it is up to her to be good now. She nods in approval and promises to guide in positivity instead of darkness.

I return to the train for the journey back and walk from car to car looking for my companion I spent the trip with. She is no longer in the booth she was sitting in before. I wonder if the darkness lifting has affected her at all. I see her 'boyfriend' sitting off in a corner with some friends. He speaks in normal modern dialect and I gather his curse has been lifted as well, he is no leader and remembers nothing of his previous dark personality. I talk to him briefly and he doesn't recognize me.

I begin frantically going from carriage to carriage looking for her. She really is nowhere to be seen, I didn't see her get off the train and it doesn't make sense she wouldn't be traveling back. It begins to occur to me I may never see her again. A great grief overcomes me as I slump into the nearest chair, just staring into nothingness while I feel my eyes swell. It can't be I think. I knew she had feelings for me. I felt them. I remember the feeling of her skin. Her smile. The sweet smell of her hair. I sit in silence the entire return journey. People merrily chat around me as the mood is now lighter and people laugh while they tell stories of their adventure. I talk to no one.

When we arrive at our destination back where we began, everyone unloads and files into a large brightly lit dining hall, it is period decorated and fancy with many carved fixtures in the walls and chandeliers. I see my family come through large ornate glass doors into the hall to join me. I am sullen and depressed from losing my companion. We all sit at a large round table with white linens and fancy gold place settings. They are still dressed in period clothes holding accessories they picked up in their own respective adventure. They ask me what's wrong. I tell them I am exhausted, it was a 2 day train journey and I just don't feel well. They are concerned but allow me my space as I seem disengaged. I sit calmly not facing the stage, my eyes still heavy and glistening as I fight the nostalgia of my time with her.

Just then a worker walks onto the stage and gets everyone's attention. He thanks all of us for our participation and hopes we all enjoyed our journey on the express adventure. People cheer. He then says he'd like to introduce us to the one who made everything possible. Please give a round of applause everyone to our very own,
Brand new Model 2 Android!
People cheer louder and whistles can be heard.
I turn around to look and see her.
Out of period dress with a skin tight bodysuit and hair styled even shorter to her head.
It was her.
The truth of it hits me like a pile of bricks. I see her eyes avoiding me in the crowd as she glances around the room. Barely smiling she acknowledges the recognition in a sheepish manner. She won't even look at me. I am in complete disbelief. How could I not have known? I stare wantingly but realize everything I knew wasn't even real. The dream fades as I watch her face and the applause becomes quieter and quieter.

I have been neglecting to write up my dream journals at length. These are notes from the last month sans narrative.

1/11/20

Hanging out with Korn
Nate doing back up vocals for them
I scream with them in a performance
Upstairs in one of their rooms
Monkey says cool we have enough fans
I say ok in that case you guys suck ass
Why don't you make some good music?
They laugh
They are doing an acoustic set practicing new music in their living room
It is a large room with many mementos
I sit off to the side and listen
The girls are brainstorming what to decorate themselves as
I recommend fairies or elves, they love the idea
There is a fancy marble stair coffee table that has a fancy chess board in the center of the room

1/13/20

Jeremy's truck pulling trash bin
Nate's tequila pond idea with Chris and Andy
Party in the backyard people jump the fence into my neighbor's pool
In the basement of my middle school, there is another shadow school
I attend a guest class with other adults
It is about lucid dreaming, Smile is teaching
There's a list of dream websites I ask him if he used Dreamviews he says no
Park my car at a strip mall and go into a costume store
Everyone wears different costumes
Turns into a sickbay by the entrance
I see Mel teaching different craft classes for kids
She talks to me about the teacher from my middle school
I wander the parking lot at night clicking my key fob trying to find my car, other cars keep beeping instead
I see other cars that are my model but different colors
Eventually, find my car and drive away

1/16/20

Old times video game flea market
I stow away in a minivan with two girls in the back
Aleeya likes me, her friend texts me an offer, and her picture
Ride all the way home with them
Hide from the parents

Their family runs a BBQ Restaurant that is incredibly popular
People line up around the building waiting for them to open
I gather their brisket is world-renowned

I am in downtown Kyoto
Part of a school trip but we have wandered off from the group to explore
Huge skyscrapers all around and fancy shops
Feels like a mall
I am with a friend at first but we get separated
I am dressed in all green/pirate pagan wear
I put on a foam life jacket I find by one of the booths
Look in many stores
Fancy glass store
The woman asks me if I need anything
I smile and say "I have no needs" and continue to browse.
She tells me the clocks are in the back
I am blown away by the detail and variety
I ask my friend if we can just book a single night Airbnb and stay downtown away from our group, he isn't sure

1/20/20

Guy shows me the tomatoes he grew, hands me three
I accidentally eat one and feel bad about it
It tastes good
One of my friends Elijah eats the other one
I only have one left out of the three he was showing me and feel bad because he did not offer me to try them
I am babysitting his kids while he is at work at a church
My shower has drywall over the tub and I am using a smaller section
There are three showers in my bathroom
I am on a video call with Leyanna
I am more buff than IRL

1/21/20

Who is Erwen?

1/22/20

In Spanish class
Smoke some weed and put in eyedrops
Class votes on who's drawing is the best on the board in the back
Everyone votes for Cody's pop can
Everyone knows he's dead
I leave the class without looking
Come back and ask the teacher to show me
We talk and I tell her he was my brother
Start to cry while I talk
The teacher is compassionate
She is younger now

We are now in Bosnia/Romania
My car is in a side lot
It is glistening purple electric in the sun
Another person is telling me how to take care of the paint with a special tool
I get in the car and three black guys get in the back seat as well
I ask them where we are going fellas
We drive down the street and they are content

I am with a girl who is my interest
We kiss occasionally
We are on crowded city streets and walking between cafes
We swim in a pool together, maybe skinny dipping, I have no shame

I am in front of a restaurant
Using a special tool with metal spheres on the end of it to break the glass corners of a structure at the entrance
As one side breaks, it sprays fine glass shards down one side of my face
I gather I am making the entrance into something new
A car with an older man pulls up and watches me work for a few minutes
He is confused
I try to explain to him what I am doing
He shrugs and drives away

1/26/20

Parents decide to go out to dinner with another couple, they are meeting another couple at a restaurant.
I am upset and tell them I disagree with their choice because it isn't safe to be meeting in groups of six yet.
I crawl into the car to express my dismay and they have a daughter of the friends in the backseat. The daughter decides to stay at home with us and so does the father but he quickly disappears somewhere.
It is G myself and her hanging around the house for the night.
It begins storming outside and we notice 2 tornadoes forming in the distance so we all rush in and go to the basement to bunker down and wait it out.
The wind and rain are very loud

In another house
Rundown and flooded in one entrance
The other door has a large hornet hive on the outside of it that buzzes viciously when I touch the door
The home is decrepit and seemingly uninhabited for quite some time
I walk back and forth between the two entrances trying to decide how to get out

I am in another room with several people
There is a young African American boy being violent with myself and others
I warn him to cut it out
He continues so I tackle him to the floor and pull out a shotgun I find on the floor and press the barrel against his cheek
I say now you stop this now or I'm gonna put a huge hole in your floor directly behind your head.
Someone else in the room giggles
He nods his head slowly with wide eyes
I pump the shotgun several times to empty the shells from the barrel
Only 2 or three of them are good cartridges the others seem to be crumpled and bunk

At a certain point, he finds a gun on the floor and starts waving it around jokingly aiming it at me
I scold him and tell him to never aim his gun at anyone, never let the barrel point at another person he doesn't intend on killing.
He moves the barrel to the side and up and down trying out the technique, I nod.

I am back in the house from earlier in the dream, only now I know it to be an Airbnb type setup and the family is away but coming back today.
We have only lived here for a couple of days but I feel like cleaning up thoroughly
Opening the windows and scrubbing counters and doing dishes I realize the house was much dirtier when I started than the mess we made
Check out is 3 pm and it is almost 4 o'clock and the family gets home while I am cleaning
For some reason, I have a large pot of water on to boil for mac n cheese
I almost throw away a series of canisters like garden pots or trash cans that are all stacked together
The owner tells me they are "odds and ends" I gather this is a hoarding family and may not take to my cleaning house that well. Oh well, the kitchen is clean and the fresh air is starting to clear the space.

1/27/20

Driving from the passenger seat
Keep changing seats, driving from the backseat
A cop turns around and follows me into the neighborhood

I attend church, Will Smith gives me a turban, Shaq shows me how to put it on
Boys and girls are separated
We celebrate afterward and I learn Dave Chappelle was there too

Beginning of a middle school Sunday school class, I joke they have to audition
People go along with it we all laugh

1/31/20

Get hooked by a helicopter fishing line
One large hook goes through my right foot
The other is in my right hand
They land and still pull me along
My toes and top of my foot have been mauled and gory
My knee and leg are torn up too
It doesn't hurt but I gather I am in shock

I am driving someone's white truck back to the spa
I select quick travel and the truck appears across the street from the spa and I am standing inside suddenly
Nothing looks recognizable
There are dozens of employees just standing around
Several clinic-based modalities have been added and I gather there are several doctors working for her now
It is more like a doctor's office than a relaxing spa
Mel is kind and tells me to have a look around
One of her eyes is all red
There are many new walls and walkways I have no idea how to get around.
The float section of the spa has been dumbed down and all the old murals have been painted over
As I walk back I try to walk through a room that has people laying on cots/hospital beds
A doctor across the room talking to another doctor raises his hand to me and shakes his head as if to gesture not to come this way
I try to go around but all other walkways lead to this room
I take the long way around and exit the spa
I am in a mall now and the spa has an entrance with many signs above it
So many partnerships it isn't even recognizable as a float spa
I am sad

2/02/20

In a big church service
Everyone had taken off their shoes
It ends with a congregation in the back wanting to sing a long traditional song
The pastor wants everyone to sing it
The smaller congregation is from an older church and wanted to sing it for everyone else
Everyone tries to sing it at once and it sounds horrid
An older man in the group at the back is pointing at me
I cannot keep my balance
Everyone else is turned around watching them
I am standing in front of everyone
The pastor has everyone restart the song but has a favorite kid begin the lyrics
They are on an overhead projector at the front of the room
It has like 5 verses

2/03/20

Boxing fight hug punching
Food festival giveaway large tent with a band
Tryst with Em, put up a tarp from rain
They cut people's hair
Nighttime kings island run
Bathroom with ancient symbols
I have seen the real thing
Shoot purple energy from my hand
I am magic and elusive
The invisible one is someone else and threatens our family

2/04/20

I am in Hank Greens classroom talking to him
Just happen to be there
We shake hands he's happy that I'm a fan

We are in a food garden
Outdoor pavilion, many vines, and varieties
I eat part of a huge avocado
The seed is soft and makes me sick and woosy

A cult wears blue and white
They are super defensive
I am wearing all blue and questioning them
I see my old guitar teacher in the leader's inner circle
I try to introduce myself but they scoff in metaphor and riddles
I don't understand a word they are saying to me
The leader looks like Kenneth Copeland
We have a 1 on 1 exchange
He has glowy red night time eyes
He talks for a few minutes and everything segues to much later, we have all been put in a trance
The leader is deposed somehow
We party at his end playing musical instruments like a bluegrass jam band
I play a stand-up bass on its side
We are in a theatre

We witness a boat coming down the snowy icy street very quickly and doesn't see the water's edge
As he approaches the intersection his boat plunges under the water by the angle he was turning and he goes under the ice
I gather this is a problem and he might need help
I see his boat barely surface and his body is limp
I jump in the fridged icy water and swim towards him
He's in bad shape, I pick him up and get him to the shore, he's not just knocked out, his body is pretty messed up
His eye is all red
His limbs are eviscerated and barely holding together
I pull out my phone and begin to dial 911
I gather he's not going to make it
He starts to come to
I tell him he's going to be ok
Just relax, just relax, you're ok man, don't worry you're going to be alright
I am deeply worried he will realize how bad it is and freak out in his final moments
The more I look at him the worse it is
In the final second, he realizes how messed up he is, his eyes go wide, and then still
It is over

2/07/20

Meditating at the bottom of a pool
Slow-motion choreography fight
Android woman all metal
Dad's backseat with spiders
Victor's party house, escape from police
The horn says $500!
Ben wears cyber goth BDSM wear to impress a young blonde
There are different tribes of post-apocalyptic gear wearing folk

2/08/20

In theatre to watch show laying on the floor in front of seats, I have a ticket
Argue with people in front who are mad I'm not in the right place
Use light to read the ticket and find the right seat
I sit in the very back
There is a massive explosion elsewhere while I'm in the theatre
I feel shockwave

On phone with a Russian girl, I am undercover
Sitting on a pergola next to the house smoking a cig, it is disgusting
Rick rolls up in a wrecked green car held together by duct tape
The car rolls over when parked wrong on a wooden grass divider I help him escape

Stalked by an ancient mummy
In a hospital, I press the "feeling down" button in the elevator
Makes an appointment with someone
I have a badge
They don't let me in the employee's area
Another nurse talks to me
I vent some and describe being stalked
They don't believe me
Christopher Eccleston is with me

I am in Jamaica
With a disabled family
Most of them are in wheelchairs/hick like
They tell me it costs 4k a month to live there
It is a large family celebration
They eat chicken tenders, sliders, and cheap pan pizzas
One of the siblings is a sentient hand in a jar
I want to find Mokko
I have no money or supplies, just my clothes
They point me down the road

I walk by myself for a while
There is a large music festival going on by the path
Some white girls notice me but I keep walking
I see Matthew walking by in a crowd, I call to him
He is somewhat annoyed for me to meet him
He tells me he is doing a collab with ML7
His hair is a large purple fro
I ask if he can show me the way to Mokko
He agrees and we walk down the path
Many run-down communities and farm places
It starts to rain hard and it is night
There are 4-5 feet of water we are traveling through
They are walking on bundles of straw that are standing up in a field
We are all soaked
Matthew goes ahead and I lose him
The friend is not ML7 but we walk together
He is short white and wearing black-rimmed glasses
He tells me ML7 is overrated and only good at Anna, we laugh together

We walk into a large tree community
Carved pathways and many rooms people/families are living in
I lose the friend
I am by myself for a while
I befriend a jamaica guy
We talk about Jamaica
I am passionate and he can see
I have no money so the panhandlers leave me alone
We see a couple of girls dressed as fairies
One tries to do magic and makes a small boy levitate
My guide climbs behind him to the second floor and reveals the kid was on a string
It was a sham to get money out of tourists
I have no money or possessions
The Jamaican guy tells me he can see a part of jamaica inside of me
Something is here for me to find

1/9/20

I am at my great grandmother's home in Atlanta. B currently lives there and has kind of fixed it up though the outside of the house is grown over with vines and greenery. The house is a single story in the front but two stories in the back, like the basement is built into a hill. She has her living space in the basement and I see her purple bed in a corner. G is with me as we kind of tour around the house. We wander around the house with B. I talk with B about the history of the home and how long it has been in my family. I show her the room upstairs where my great grandma and her sister slept in beds side by side for many years. There's a large floor grate at the doorway that I remember hurt my feet to walk on as a kid, only now it has expanded down both walls of the room like a big L. There are small flames that come out of the grate, I gather it is the malfunctioning heater that hasn't been serviced in years. She almost catches the bottom of her flowy dress on fire because she trips on the grate but gets up quickly enough, no harm done.

I am with G now downstairs in Bs room sitting on her bed. We are watching a program on television, it is like a home renovation show that is featuring the same house we are actually currently in, B is on the tv. They take axes to large twisted bundles of vines that have grown into the house through a window in her room. One of the guys is hitting a wooden doorway with a hand axe and I gather his intent is malicious. B comes downstairs and tells us the rest of the story while we watch the show. We decide to go out to get something to eat before leaving town.


We are standing in line inside a large food court type area that is actually a single restaurant. It feels like a gourmet rallys of sorts. The building is diamond shaped, bright white decor with scattered black tiles, tall ceilings, with counters to order at on each side corner and tables all around in the middle. There seems to be a large column/pillar in the exact center of the room. I stand looking at the menu for a while trying to decide what to eat. We debate where we want to eat while standing in line. I mention I would really like to eat at the Dwarf House (the first Chick-fil-A). Perhaps we will get a snack here first then go somewhere else. The girls have ordered and gone to find a table. I stand for a couple minutes at the front of the line trying to decide, there are people lining up behind me while I scan the menu. It is hard to read and I am barely able to make out the pictures, though I know generally what they have. I apologise to the guy working the register that it took me so long, saying "Now don't be mad at me it took me all that time to decide, but I just want a large fry well done and two soda waters with lime."

He is understanding and asks for my name. I speak it to him but then he motions to a keypad in front of the register I am meant to type my name into. I try typing Noah, but it ends up like Gerold6 on the screen, I shrug whatever and submit it. As I am walking away I gather the workers are allowed to heckle the guests, it's like this restaurants brand, they were joking a lot before and now that I've made a gaff they turn the focus on me. They make an announcement on the loudspeaker that Gerald doesn't have the number six in the name and he proceeds to write it on a whiteboard, while laughing saying people can't have the number six in their name. I shout back jokingly "You don't know that!" The workers all laugh at my response and walk away from their registers holding their faces. I walk over to the girls and B has become S, I am completely enamoured to see her again.

We catch up and I am really glad to see she is doing so well. She seems lively and much more energetic than the last time I saw her. She's even showing interest in me so I'm somewhat besides myself. The girls have gotten their food a while ago and are just picking at their trays and I start to wonder where mine is, it has to have been 20-30 min by now. I see fries fully cooked sitting behind the counter on the metal tray and no one standing around. Then a guy walks out from the back, stands there for a minute or so and then surprisingly notices a ticket printed on a printer under the counter. He reads it, tears it off, proceeds to make my fry and prepare the drinks and walk it out to me. I am grateful if not slightly annoyed by there being so many employees standing around and none of them seem to be too focused.

At a certain point I begin speaking to an employee who I believe is on break. We talk about the type of restaurant this is and how it's set up/how it is to work there and make fun of people all day. He has social conundrums with some fellow female employees so I give him some social advice on how to work it out. The girls go to the bathroom together when we finish our meals. So I decide to walk outside to take in the views.

For some reason I am now in a corporate office lobby with open windows on one side leading to the water. My father and uncle are there, we all seem to be fixated on screens or the windows, I can't be sure. My uncle is leaning on dad's shoulder while they stand together. A worker for the office has spilled his soda on the floor of his desk, he gets up and walks away. He returns to his desk with a fresh cup of pop and takes a picture of it with his cellphone before sitting back down without cleaning up the last spill. This guy kinda looks like Ben Schwartz.


We are all standing along the water now outside. I am still waiting for the girls to come back but I notice there are boats going by to tour the local park. I am on a boat now, thinking it will be a quick excursion before returning. It is a boat car type vehicle and we travel through a park with many coloured birds on the ground and in the trees, they are all smaller like sparrows though coloured like the rainbow. The driver keeps driving and I gather we are going much further than the park. I text G "I think I've made a huge mistake" The boat makes water and we continue down into a river. Everytime I shift my weight the boat sloshes to the side and some water splashes in. The main guy driving asks me how old I am. I tell him and he says I am too big and I need to sit still while we are in motion. I now realize I am too close to other people I don't know and fumble to put on my mask. I pull it out of my pocket and there are many masks all stacked on themselves and it is difficult to separate the one I want to wear. The driver describes the river we are going down. It is like the florida keys for georgia, he points to a map and there is a huge crack waterway through the entire state of georgia. I am far away from where I started with strangers now. The dream ends.