Draeger
Member

Failed dream stabilization in DILD
I am on my way home, carrying groceries on the sidewalk of the quiet street passing by the house I live in on a cloudy day with a darker lighting of the environment suggesting that the time of day is soon to be or already is dusk. I'm not sure if my mother is with me, but she could be. Suddenly, I become lucid. It might have been a random thought about lucidity which triggered this. But I immediately start slipping out of the dream but try to rub my hands and to look at them to stabilize the dream, but I am already on the threshold of waking up, strangely controlling both my dream and real body at once, but apparently my stabilization attempt soon failed and I find myself having waken up.

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I got too stressed to journal again. I'll probably continue for real once summer holidays come around in nearly exactly a month.

I actually chanted a mantra and used a special thought technique I can't really explain to kind of bypass the way you'd usually have this only incubate a fake lucid dream instead of actually causing awareness, and I guess it worked. It's like I went "behind" the normal thought? Only I really know what I'm talking about with that, I guess, at least I hope at least I will if I rediscover this some time. Nobody ever understood the way I explained how my brain worked. People tend to think these are metaphors, but I feel like I physically navigate my thoughts. While that's not what happens, of course, that's the input I'm getting and doing the same "movement" produces consistent results. It's weird like that. Also, I'm tired so I'm rambling about this, probably mostly as a big note to self so that I can reproduce this, since this is the first time a technique just straight up worked first try to that extent.

I do wonder why the stabilization didn't work, though. And I tend to always find myself kind of "blind" in dreams, I've noticed that here as well. It's like my whole vision is covered by a blind spot, like how your thumb disappears if you move it into the right location, it makes it hard to stay in a dream. I feel like I only know some of the visual information because I just kind of know without seeing it, and that's annoying me. But I can't say reality is a whole lot different, honestly. My perception is always weirdly "blind" like that, like a very insidious form of tunnel vision. Enough rambling now. I still think this was probably the closest I've ever gotten to stabilize a lucid dream, so overall, this was a success. Good.

Strange magic dragon dream
I am at building C of my school, on the second floor (entering from the yard, you basically have 4 important doors on the bottom floor. Two on either side, which lead to a staircase leading up all the way to the third floor, with every second platform, occurring after every second unit of stairs, leading to the corresponding floor. In front and behind you, you have exits, the former leading directly to the street and the latter to the school yard. To your left, you have a freestanding stairway, leading up to a platform, whose shape can be imagined as a rectangle without the bottom edge showing the path you can walk along, the path fitting to the wall. From there, multiple rooms can be accessed and also two doors leading to the left and right staircases to the other floors). There, I apparently have a kind of private lesson with a teacher I actually do not particularly like, but, apparently he wants to teach me, and a small group of other people who want this, how to become a dragon and I guess to harness that kind of magic(? not sure about the magic part. might have had to do with fire). Thus, I enter the class. I was excited, but had a kind of feeling in me that this would be too good to be true. Though, then, after a while, it did kind of work and I guess I transformed into some kind of humanoid dragon form. I felt a great amount of the feeling of freedom and also a kind of wildness along with this. I remember knowing that this would just be a small taste and that there was more potential in this ability. At this point, I guess I had remembered others and also myself couldn't see this happen (despite us having seen it before; it was kind of contradictory, even the moment this came up) and I thought that this would just be too good to be true and that I was stuck in wishful thinking again. The teacher wanted us to try flying, but I thought that was kind of stupid, considering the fact that apparently the bell had rung and everyone was moving to their other classes, so everyone would just think we're crazy and other teachers would get angry at us, so I just waited, despite my anxiety, as I knew the teacher was impatient, but that was just way too stupid of an idea to me. So, eventually, everyone had seemingly moved and I felt like nobody was going to see this, so, after watching some of the others in my group managing to lift off and fly around, I tried flapping my arms (despite me knowing that we were doing this because apparently we had learned to develop our wings enough), and, as I failed to lift off, I felt like my worries were confirmed and was discouraged, but did not have the plan to give up. I subsequently woke up.

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Finally started journaling again. There has just been a lot of stressful stuff going on in my life, which has prevented me from continuing this for quite a while.

I actually only remembered this because I saw a cloaked person outside, which reminded me of harry potter, which reminded me of this for some reason. Weird.

Legend:
Dream
Notes
Awake

Infinity nightmare
There's something with infinite dimensions. Something is infinitely backward in comparison to a lower integer, because of which I feel an unfathomable amount of fear.

Later in the night, it continued, where apparently some number wasn't allowed to be reached, otherwise, it would wrap around to 16, which made me feel the same amount of fear.

Buying stuff in a store with school class
I am at a store. There, I buy something and apparently I am there with my mother, who is not happy because I am apparently supposed to be there with a school class.

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The first dream was a geometric night terror as a result of what seemed to be a fever. After I woke up, I was unable to notice that the ruleset of the dreams did not apply to real-life for a while.

Half-Life 2 and imbalanced transformation
Apparently, I am Gordon from Half-Life 2 in this scene. Dr. Kleiner is with me in a half-destroyed room. There are big holes in the wall and debris on the floor, as well as a bridge made of metal grating and a pulley mechanism attached to it, which can be drawn in/out from within this room to pass over to another building, like in Half-Life 2: Episode One. He tells me to do something with suit batteries, and I jokingly think that it's weird that the level designers did this, when in the original Half-Life 2 game, they used car batteries.

Scene change. I am in the same room of my home where the 3rd dream, 19.07.2021 ended, and am myself again. I am tending to my water snails which are in a jar between many plant pots. Then, I have a fake memory where my mother apparently blew into something which resembles a fallen-off flower blossom, which can apparently transform you into whatever you are currently thinking about when you blow into it, but apparently, she gave it to me but I threw it away for some reason. Now, I want it again, so I look for another one and find one I think resembles it. I know it could be poisonous, so I am a bit anxious, but I blow into it to see if it would work. Instead of doing what I hoped for, it blew up into poisonous plant sap.

Scene change. The previous scene transitions by me running backwards into another room of sorts which is hard to describe. It is dark and there is another metal grating bridge, and apparently, if you fall down, you fall into the bathroom of my home from the ceiling. I sit on a duplicate of the sink in my bathroom. Apparently, blowing into the blossom did do something, but it does not work because it's apparently unbalancing the forces, or something, so bad things will happen because of that.

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Waking up from that was really weird. For a few minutes, I couldn't remember where and who I was and had great difficulty to notice that the dream didn't really happen.

Fragment of a fragment
Some sort of pleasant emotion or feeling.