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    Date of Birth
    November 30
    About DuckMan_Drake
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    Searching for half eaten hot dogs in the dumpster behind Denny's
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    Whatever Interest me.

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    "And when he gets to heaven, to St Peter he will tell: 'One more soldier reporting sir; I've served my time in hell." - Winston Churchill

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    Transcribed from Facebook:

    by DuckMan_Drake on 02-13-2013 at 03:14 PM
    So I was apparently a dude living in a rather unassuming, small wooden house on the edge in
    a large desert area, but on the edge of a forest. I had a dog named Rover, which was a
    bloodhound, and I seemed to be a cranky dude at this point. The people of the local town
    (it looked like something straight out of the Old West, i.e. Dodge City) didn't like me for
    whatever reason or another. They were all dressed as though it was the late 19th century,
    despite several indications that we had plenty of new amenities.
    So yeah, this shack I lived in was terrible, and for whatever reason, there was a dead
    donkey in the dishwasher (the only modern appliance in the house). I don't remember how it
    got in there, but I believe that the local townspeople were pissed at me because of it for
    some reason. The thing started to get pretty gross and decomposing-y, and I just decided to
    say "fuck it" and leave the thing in there for some reason, with me going to go seek out
    different accomodations. I remember doing this as a meta decision, because I didn't want
    the dream to turn into some nightmare due to the Donkey Corpse, which was pretty
    frightening.
    So yeah, everybody in this town was being invited to a rather nice-looking dinner party/
    potluck, and so was I. They did it as a mean gesture, as they knew I didn't have anything
    to bring to this, and would therefore be made fun of. So I decided to work really super
    hard the entire day beforehand. I remember standing over a beautiful new Redwood Sapling I
    had planted on the edge of the forest (I don't know why I'd plant it there, as the desert
    would have killed it), while draining my sweat into a pitcher. It was a pretty gross off-
    yellow colour. I laughed, adding a bit of sugar to the water. I now had something to bring
    to the party (those bastards would be drinking my sweat. How disgustingly hilarious!)
    So I'm on my way to this party, and it's getting dark out. I have to cross through this big
    forest to get to the town. Little did I know that there would be terrible wolves and
    monsters in that forest. They chased me for a good, long while until I jumped into a deep,
    mysterious pool I hadn't come across before. I understood that for whatever reason, the
    wolves and monsters could float, but I could sink. So I sat at the bottom for a while,
    trying to remain calm and conserve my oxygen.
    It was in there that I met this rather gorgeous aquatic woman. She looked at me curiously,
    as though she'd never gotten a chance to see someone up close for a long time. She told me
    I shouldn't worry, as the sun was coming up and the monsters would be killed. And lo and
    behold, the sun came up and the monsters were all bursting into flame, a la Minecraft. But
    oddly enough, the sun didn't stay up for long, it just went right back to sunset once
    again. No clue why.
    I realized that I was going to be late for this party, so I told the zora-like (Legend of Zelda) woman that,
    and started running once again in the direction of the village. Of course, the lady decided
    to follow me, thinking that it meant she was invited, too. So here I have a nude, teal-
    coloured woman following behind me, and she's getting parched with the whole desert thing.
    Boy, did people not like me in this town. It was a good thing I made that sweat drink,
    because fuck those people, they were dicks. Being as how it was an olden-timey desert town,
    I implored the woman to stay in the horse drinking trough outside of the party while I drop
    off my drink, and that we'd find her more suitable accomodations as soon as the stupid
    party was over.
    I go inside one of the houses, and there's a fairly nicely laid-out long-table with all
    kinds of stuff on it, and a few dozen people sat around it. They didn't seem to enjoy the
    look of me when I came in, but I didn't mind too much. I sat the two pitchers of my sweat-
    water down, and they were immediately and greedily poured into glasses. I wasn't offered
    any, haha.
    Everybody *loved* it, and asked me what I called such a delicious concoction. I just told
    them it was something I brewed up after doing a lot of work on the forest, so just call it
    "work-water".
    After the party, I find out that some asshole's tipped over the trough with the lady inside
    it (let's call her Meagan for convenience, as she really reminded me of a female friend of mine), and she's now getting pretty dried out. So I
    have to find her something. I run over to the town's water tower and fill a bucket with it,
    and proceed to slowly pour it over the poor lady. Meagan thanks me and seems to start
    liking me. So I guess I now have a Zora-Lady for a girlfriend. I decide to try my hand at
    the Inn on the one side of town. Maybe she can sleep in the bath-tub for tonight. We walk
    up to the place, but before I can even knock on the front door, the man who runs it (who
    wasn't at the party) opens the door, pushes me and generally acts like a douchebag.
    I then say "fuck it" and find out that there's a train heading out of this place. We both
    hop aboard it (stowaways because they probably wouldn't let a Mermaid-lady onboard), and we
    ride off to a big city that was vaguely similar to Montreal, all the while Meagan was
    cuddled up against me. Nude, wet woman on top of me? I can dig it. When we got there, we
    started a pseudo-montage of us doing awesome things, me trying to find her places to keep
    hydrated finding a place together (of course it had a swimming pool, lol), and eventually
    enjoying ourselves quite well.
    But yes, for whatever reason we come across you and my friends Sam and Russell, and we all
    decide to pile into a car and drive back to my shack. I'll assume maybe a year has passed.
    We get there, and not much has changed. My dog Rover seems to be in perfectly good health
    and shape, as he had been eating rabbits or something. The Donkey corpse was still there
    (we eventually just hauled it out of the house and buried the entire dishwasher, not
    wanting to touch the corpse), but we noticed, strangely enough, that none of the residents
    were in the town anymore.
    Russell surmised, upon looking into the building where we had the party (with the table
    still there, but no food laid out anymore), that they left because the mines nearby had
    gone dry. It was now a Ghost Town, just like an old western movie. It was pretty cool, now
    that the douchebags were gone.
    Of course, I wake up at this point because the alarm goes off, but I go right back to
    sleep, too interested in the dream.
    In it, we all decide to go south for a vacation, and eventually find a very cool place that
    looked vaguely like the Zora River. Going further down it, we find a waterfall and, behind
    it, a city filled with aquatic fish-people. Meagan is quizzical, as the water is almost
    body temperature. She was used to very cold water, but when she got in, this look of utter
    delight washed over her. I followed her in, and you guys went off and chilled by the
    wayside.
    She went up to a rather cool looking Zora Dude, sitting on an underwater couch, and she
    immediately recognizes him. She tells me that he was an old boyfriend of hers, but they
    were just good friends at this point. He knows all the awesome party places in any given
    city, so he ushers us further into the underwater city, and *all* of us get down and funky
    at this awesome dance party.
    Then I woke up enough to write this.
    Categories
    non-lucid , memorable