Lakona
Member

Project temporarily on pause while I focus 100% on improving sleep quality.

PART 1 - POP STAR CAPTURED BY HEROS

Pop star villain who looks similar to Lady Gaga is captured in giant plane by two 16 year olds. They force her to hang outside the cockpit, this makes her pass out so she is not a threat.

They're superheros, that's their character, that's the story... one male and one female who take complete control of the environment through technology, like their big plane, and trap villains.

ANALYSIS

Pop star could represent superficiality.

- - -

PART 2 - WEED FROM CLEE, KICK MOM

At home in my room, I almost buy some weed from Clee (friend.) I have my money out and everything. I'm facing my closet, the weed is on my bed, we're about to exchange... but I change my mind at the last moment.

I follow Clee outside for courtesy, to hang out while he smokes a cigarette, to be cool since I didn't buy from him.

On the way out, mom is laying on the floor at the door of the bathroom/bottom of the stairs (sort of both, dream merge), talking with my aunt (who is standing.)

Mom says something along the lines of "every fit person has a hot person they work out with," some limiting belief that she uses to justify her lack of fitness to herself.

This frustrates me. I get super pissed and attack her, kick her in the head. Aunt is disgusted, "doesn't understand why you can't just be chill."

Clee and I get to the door, I put on my shoes - they're black, bigger than normal, firm and puffy.

We were going to train but it turns out to be raining quite heavily. I put on an act of being upset, even though I didn't really want to anyway - I was only being accommodating.

ANALYSIS

Almost buy weed - because I've been considering changing up my meditation schedule, the thought of getting some occurred to me yesterday, but I decided against it.

Follow Clee outside/pretend upset/accommodating - literal representation of behavior patterns around this person.

Mom laying down - likely represents her weakness, given up on life. Aunt there to support her justifications.

- - -

PART 3 - KILP CONFLICT

Kilp (Jr High classmate) is outside. He threatens me, throws a knife my direction. It lands in the dirt in front of me, as a message that he's "out to get me." He makes some jokes about me to someone else.

I pull the knife out of the ground, throw it up in the air, and it lands exactly in my sheath. Kilp says something sarcastic about "winning his heart" by this display. I say "all mine," double meaning that I will literally take his heart.

ANALYSIS

Perhaps triggered by negative social events at work, feeling "looked down upon," an expression of a desire to fight back.

- - -

FRAGMENTS

Door breaks off, upper class family...

Use toilet positioned in middle of stage, in front of an audience for a SC1 tournament...

Jee visits me, in my room, have chat...

ANALYSIS

The toilet being right on stage seems like an obvious metaphor for self consciousness.

Anyway, I think I need more sleep. I don't feel "refreshed" upon waking up, always tired and groggy. Currently I go to bed at around 12 and wake up at 7. Will see if I can gradually fall asleep at earlier times, beginning with 11.

PART 1 - DAY9

Starcraft 2 Day9 commentary, something about Mutalisks... real life story behind it...

ANALYSIS

Triggered by a comment on the DV forums about Day9 that I made shortly before bed.

- - -

PART 2 - ZEN FOR BROTHER

My brother sees a commercial on TV for a Zen meditation program. It advertises increased productivity, he seems interested.

ANALYSIS

A manifestation of my feeling that my brother doesn't spend his time productively. I don't think it would catch his attention IRL.

- - -

PART 3 - HARNESSES IN THE SKY

With mom and brother... high in the sky, like "top of a mountain" height... in harnesses suspended by cables. Sin (internet personality) teaches how use them properly. Scary and unpleasant.

ANALYSIS

A metaphor for a sense of risk... possibly some sort of preparation leading into "taking the fearful way" below.

- - -

PART 4 - THE IMPENETRABLE PYRAMID

Playing Starcraft, losing to Zerg... there is a pyramid on the map, it's out of place, doesn't belong in the game... it's glowing a neon light purple, possibly pink. It's supposedly "impenetrable."

I hit it (suddenly I'm physically "inside" the game), and a wall caves in. I enter, it's dark, like a tomb to explore.

A giant skeleton statue lifts me off the ground ("telekinetically"), and pulls me flying up toward it.

Next there is a small bedroom... there are old clothes. The previous occupants are long gone, years and years ago.

To get to a narrow closet in the corner, I have to go around behind the bed - and giant sheets which take up half the room - which would be a difficult position to escape from if I had to... but I take the fearful way at each point.

The closet has 2 doors, one leads to next room. There are more clothes left behind, hanging on the closet hook. I look through them, check each one out, the colors.

Suspenders? Old country clothes, possibly farmer clothes...

ANALYSIS

Impenetrable pyramid - represents lucid dreaming, seems almost impossible, a glass wall, trapped in routine. The neon purple/pink represents excitement, emotional stimulation of going outside the norm.

Telekinetic statue - key factor is the sense of flight, reminds me of old childhood dreams.

Old bedroom, old country clothes - a return to my roots, re-experiencing familiar dream sensations from childhood. I remember dreams involving clothes coming to life from back then... this is the reason for the clothes, their oldness is an expression of how long ago I experienced these things.

Fearful way at each point - beginnings of lucidity, semi-conscious decision making!

- - -

PART 5 - JEE AND KEE

Driving with Jee and Kee afterward, I tell them about the whole experience of breaking in and exploring super enthusiastically. I end with "yeah, it was quite a dream"... they don't respond, silent, then they start talking about something else.

Later, walking with them through a jungle area, I see this big (4-5 feet tall) colorful (mainly red, with others mixed) bird with shaggy feathers trying to jump upside down and catch a branch with its feet from the ground.

I say that I like the colors, Kee says the name of bird.

ANALYSIS

Ignored - probably just literal.

Jungle and bird - an expression of my focus on color earlier.

- - -

PART 6 - TEACHER EMAILS

Class, teacher (50s, grey hair and beard, glasses, like "Durant") asks the class for their emails. He hands out sheets of paper for each student to write them on. I'm conscious that the girl sitting beside me might see mine.

One more seat over, "bioking" (email) guy who is obsessed w/chemistry. Mine has "king" in it as well, possibly also something to do w/bio...

ANALYSIS

Was "bioking" another dreamer? Everyone in the class? Have I been enrolled in some sort of "dream school"?

Taking my email - perhaps this part of my mind wanting to "keep in contact"...

Debating, in the analysis portion of these entries, whether to leave ambiguity ("this is possibly an expression of that") or to be more firm ("this means that, period.") Tried more firmness this time, will continue to experiment.

Also, with so much more remembered, it's necessary to write more in point form.

I used the voice recorder for the first time last night, and WOW. HUGE impact. This thing is KEY. Very interested to see how its use will develop over time...

PART 1 - STUCK LIVING WITH CEE

Cee is living at my current location...

She is outside, at the end of the driveway. I go up and say "hi," in a confident charming way, even though I'm only at my current level of fitness... but then I change my mind, think it was a mistake and that I should wait until I'm more prepared, and run off down street (opposite of work direction.)

At night, I watch from outside as Herm (internet fitness personality) breaks in through a window...

I realize I have no choice and have to go back home, since I live there too and need a place to stay. I return but try to avoid Cee as much as possible, try to keep interactions "short and sweet."

She asks how I got there, I say public transport (lie.) She asks if the driver checked out my teeth for some reason, which throws me off slightly. I laugh and say, "not that I know of."

ANALYSIS

Gah. I finally went a day yesterday managing not to think of them that much, and then I have a big dream about them.

Her living here - possibly a metaphor for how she is so deeply ingrained as to be fundamentally a part of myself.

Watching from outside - kind of like, uh, stalking.

Herm break in - possibly the archetype for "douchebag" in my mind, reflection of jealousy, worry over other guy "breaking in."

Forced return - possibly represents the idea that there's nowhere else I can go, she is home. No matter how nice anywhere else is, it's just not the same, it's not "home."

Keep distance, short and sweet - sort of the pattern that always was... I didn't feel like I was up to my own standards, so I have to carefully edit her impression of me in a positive light.

Lie trip up - possibly a reflection of my guilt at not being completely honest.

PART 1 - BASEMENT SEARCH

I'm in the basement of Cornwall (location where I lived during childhood.) A girl is looking for something of mom's (for the second time?). She asks me... I make a guess somewhere in mom's room but say I don't know for sure.

Larger story context, but can't remember...

ANALYSIS

This kind of reminds me of a customer asking me where something was yesterday - I said it wasn't my usual section, and they were super understanding, which was unusual. Possible trigger.

- - -

PART 2 - HANGING OUT W/SARAN

Unknown location, hanging out with SarAn (someone I knew years ago) and one other unknown person.

I'm acting very chill and funny, we have this certain kind of good chemistry that brings out the best in me. It suddenly occurs to me to show them the "double rainbow guy" video... I have trouble finding it.

ANALYSIS

Not sure what would trigger SarAn now...

I did used to make them laugh. I do suspect we might still have good chemistry, so perhaps that is my unconscious' projection of them based on my expectations.

I watched the CollegeHumor parody of the double rainbow guy yesterday and found it quite hilarious, likely trigger.

- - -

PART 3 - DOG BITE

Same location as part 2. Dog (black) bites me, right on the side of my eye socket, apparently trying to rip it out. I apply pressure on my face in the opposite direction to stop it, and eventually get loose.

ANALYSIS

Perhaps related to the pain of my "ailment"...

I seem to be seeing my dreams mainly in terms of "triggers" as no symbolic meanings really jump out at me most of the time, but I wonder if this is simply because I've gotten into the habit of perceiving them that way, or if that is actually how they are. On the other hand, trying to force a symbolic meaning when it doesn't occur to me naturally simply feels artificial and without substance.

Remembering dreams for me seems to be about a sense of expanding, opening up to the vague bigger story at play, then letting the mind fill in the blanks... hard to describe, but it's a specific skill to be aware of and work on.