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This will be a shorter entry. Had trouble sleeping lately due to shitty sleeping arrangements where I live. Apperently I was right. I had to call on Raven again to help with Jamie. She fought of some guy who looked like freddy kreuger. That seems in line with what I remember about someone wearing a large hat.
I had a couple non lucids that I can't remember.
Demons
Fell asleep talking to the Jamie voice... instead of the usual Jamie in a black space where the conversation continues. There's a big fat Demon pertending to be Jamie. I wake up and fall asleep again, this time it's a skinny demon, saying the things that apparently Jamie is saying. Well, great. And yes I have prayed obsessively about these voices. and of course "Jesus," responds as a voice in my head. That's always trustworthy! But according to Him, We may be hearing one another's thoughts. Be careful to speak to it however, other things may be listening... and also might respond. In either case I'll try my best not to respond overly emotionally to it, or take it "too," seriously. I like how, when I pray for Jamie, I occasionally hear a, "Thank you." from her, as if she somehow hears me. That's always re assuring (No sarcasm).
School
Me and Jamie are both attending a high-school together. A class or school has ended and I'm in a hallway by a bunch of lockers and a bunch of students are in my view. I notice Jamie talking to a blond girl pretty sternly. Jamie leaves the girl and walks through the crowd. she then takes my hand and we walk away. Before I turn, I notice the blond girl is giving me and Jamie some really evil side-eye. I guess I'm back with my girlfriend... or dream girlfriend. (please send help.)
Last night: Had a really long non lucid. No jamie. Can't remember what the dream was about. A bunch of people in a large warehouse or something, and I was also doing drywall work. Bleh, not really worth remembering anyway.
First night I just had dreams that Jamie found a girlfriend. I always knew she liked both, not going to judge.I have some borderline traits myself, being unsure of your sexuality is a given. I did find these dreams a little distressing. In these dreams it seems I am watching them from a distance, and not a participant.
Next night.
another flash of Jamie being with a girl, but this time I can see them having sex... Honestly I don't know why I dream these things and sometimes loathe the connection. (When she moved in 2011, I first had a dream she was sleeping with some guy but wasn't feeling it. Then I dreamed she was sleeping with a woman, a few days later she switched her orientation status on FB. You gotta realize I'm not trying to spy, these things just come to me and sometimes I wish they wouldn't)
Captured
Just a flash of me and Jamie in a western setting. Some big guy in a cowboy hat captured us and we are ties and gagged by a fence. Jamie looks my way in distress.
Last night
Looking
I was in a crowd at night time and noticed Jamie in the crowd looking at me.
Silence
I get a job at a newly opened seafood restaurant. I'm in orientation with a group of people. Jamie is in the group, as well as some other pretty girl with crazy braids. Jamie doesn't look at me at all, but keeps lingering by. I'm drinking a soda pop from a glass bottle. The top somehow breaks. I go to the sink area to clean it up. Jamie follows me, or is doing something in the same area. She's really silent, but lingering by. I find the silence really uncomfortable as I try to clean up the glass.
No way
I'm walking outside early morning. I'm upset. In my dream memories Jamie had told me that she didn't want to see me anymore because I was too, "Emotionally immature."
I go by a mcdonald's but it's not open in the plaza. I see my brother wandering into Tim Horton's. and decide to follow him in.
First of all, I'm just going to assume that something is wrong in the dreams. (She's been attacked by dream demons constantly especially since "The Boyfriend." dream). Second. I admit: I have severe emotional problems, they have gotten a lot better since older. I was mentally and emotionally abused and abandoned by my dad specifically. The effects of that abuse have stuck with me my entire life. I know Jamie had similar problems, that she briefly told me about herself. So, I always saw that as an opportunity to relate to one another and be there for one another. Things DO get easier with age. and I've been doing my best to work on that. I'm scared too, if Jamie were to come into my life again. There is a lot of emotional trauma around one another, and how we handled things in the past to work through. It wouldn't be easy, it might be hard. We are going to make mistakes. But I want to do it, and I want to become better and be better this time.
Say what?
Just a bunch of dream imagery of shelves of make up and jewelry stands. I can hear Jamie's voice saying, "Robert's gonna buy me all my make-up and jewelry." Yeah GL with that. In today's economy both people of a household should have their own jobs. Want extra cash? try side hustles. Hair Braiding for example, or if you have a truck, couch flipping, also vending machines. There are tons of options out there.
I had one nonlucid dream i can't remember the details.
Sleep over
A dream where I have a sleep over at Jamie's, But we're both children. So we have sleeping bags in a living room by a fireplaces. We tell jokes and play games like children would. It's a lot of fun. (Lol, She's trying to keep the dreams pg-13 now).
Last night:
Crash
I'm driving up a hill or mountain on a dirt road. My dog is in the back seat. I start swerving and lose control of the car. I try to hit the brakes but land in the ditch. The car keeps moving and I notice I am in the backseat now. The car is heading for some trees by a cliff before I wake up.
Another non lucid I can't remember...
Visiting
A dream Raven came to visit. She seemed mad or something that she had to drive to canada. She puts a briefcase on the table and inside I see two roadmaps. She asks me why I haven't come to Arizona to visit? I start ranting that I don't have a steady job right now. ( you'd think someone with 9 years restaurant experience, good references and a reference from an owner/operator, would find a job here. All the jobs seem to go to the TFWs here.) After I'm done ranting I pick up one of the maps and ask if it's for me? Raven says no but the other map is? It's all pretty confusing so naturally I wake up.
Hmm
I'm sitting at a table with Jamie I have a silly diagram on the table which I call: The trinity. I have three psiral lines which go to 3 symbols. One representing dreams, another representing thought communication, and the third is physical reality. The two representing dreams and thought are colored in, with the physical one not colored in. I say something like, "So you see, we have to now just activate the physical one..." Jamie is just looking at me like: WTF... Not a mused at all. upon waking up it made no sense to me either.
Cold has finally started to go away, Yay!
The other night. Asked for Raven's help again to break Jamie out of the jail thingy I dreamed about.
Shove
I'm walking in a crowded city I'm crossing a street. At the corner there is a tall display, displaying some advertisements and media. Someone nudges or shoves shoulder and keeps on walking. I see it's the back of Jamie walking away she kind of looked back at me for a second and kept walking. Well that was rude! Reminds me of Highschool, when people didn't like you, They'd "accidentally" shoulder shove you from behind.
Demon
Me and 3 other people are chasing a demon at night. It's short, pale, and has gremlin ears. We corner it in a car wrecker place. It vanishes and I see it's latent image down various rows. "It's slowing time." I tell everyone, "It's playing out every possible scenario we can throw at it." My memory fades after.
Speechless
I'm walking outside a bar in a small town. Street reminds me of the Didsbury bar stretch with two bars on opposite sides. I'm on the JD's side Jamie is standing outside by the door, and walking past nervously. Some other girl standing outside starts talking trash to me. I can't remember what she says. Jamie grabs me and pulls me close and tells the girl. "Robert is the sweetest, most patient and caring man I've ever known." the shock of hearing this wakes me up. If Jamie ever gave me a compliment like that IRL... I would die!
Last night
big house
False awakening, I'm in a large house and have to pee. There are various rooms and people all over. I can't find a bathroom so I go downstairs. I wake up for real of course.
bed
I'm sleeping in the same bed as Jamie, she is sitting up and I am lying down. She says to me, "Slip it on." Okay. Isn't it more like ,"Roll it on."? I woke up there.
Jamie's question
I see Jamie in the familiar black space, she is staring seriously at me and asks, "Are you having a relationship with me in your head?"
I don't even begin to know how to answer that. but I will try as truthfully as I can. If she means by in my head as in dreams? Thats already been stated. If she means by talking to a voice in my head that sounds like Jamie. Short answer: For the past two months or so, Yes. That's what her voice in my head has stated. I'll ask her voice, "But this is crazy! If I see and talk to Jamie IRL, am I to talk about this?" To which she will answer, "We are to discuss everything.". This is why i'd really like Jamie to talk to me, to get clarification. If I should be seeing a psychiatrist, I'd really like to know. I'd like to get past this stuff, with or without her. Do I believe it's really Jamie? I don't know. I've been stuck with this voice for the past several years. I've tried to pray it away so many times among other things. After a certain amount of time, It's now just a thing that is a part of my current existence that I live with. If one is to do a google search on: Hearing my twin flame's voice in my head. It will lead you to loads of Quora articles where people do indeed experience this phenomena. some of them confirming with their partners that: Yes both of them will experience something like a telepathic conversation in one another's heads. Now, what I want to know is why is Jamie asking this? One possibility is that: She reads my dreams journal and reads dream her is talking and acting like we are in a relationship, she's also read that I hear a voice like her in her head, She puts two and two together and decides to use dreams to ask me this question. or, She's asking because She experiences it too. So I could equally ask her the same question. In any case I would like this to be resolved soon because this is becoming a complicated mess. I will still try to be patient tho.
Been sick still. Last night I could hardly sleep.
Fake Jesus
Can't remember the details too much. I was with Jesus and he was asking me to do this strange, abstract thing. It seemed unethical what he was asking. Next we were standing over Jamie 's bed and he said if I do those things (that I can't remember) she will be in my life soon. First off, I'm not going to do anything manipulative... Second in previous dreams it sounded like she wants to talk to me, but that I'm just to be very patient with her while she decides what she wants to say. In any case I'll hear her out.
Woke up and added prayers of banishing fake Jesus from my dreams.
Last night.
Wtf
I'm looking for Jamie at her house. She is nowhere to be found. I eventually come across a jail cell door with a small window and bars Jamie is on the other side. She reaches her hand out and I lightly grab it. I'm shocked and concerned. The dream starts fading to black and when it does she says, "You have to start looking at porn."
I admit I nearly choked on my coffee when I remembered that line. I'm sure in whatever strange dream she was having, in that context, what she said made sense to her. In any case, I've pretty much avoided that the past while.