Man of Shred
Jesus of DV

Some really good dreams this past couple of days. Someone must have really liked my last entry!

Jamie 1

I'm outside a bar with Jamie. The same one from a while ago. It's a real place in Didsbury, the two bars facing one another practically across the street. Jamie is just being goofy. She has these napkins and keeps putting chipotle sauce on napkins and trying to make me eat it. WTF. No Chick-Fil-A sauce?

Jamie 2

Same place again. It's night time. We are alone and it's really late. Jamie goes up to an old grey car and starts trying to remove the headlight.

A bunch of other jamie flashes but they are too short to comprehend.

Next night:

Family outing

I'm with family in calgary, apparently visiting my Mom. We are in a park near the bow river but everything looks different than normal. I'm up on a hill and below is a grizzly bear, but it seems friendly. I find a bounce thing that propels you in the air. I jump on it and fly high over bridges. When I land I'm in a truck with my dad. We are in an uncomfortable silence. Suddenly I'm in a mall and Jamie is on my right and my dad is on my left. He make a really rude comment when we pass by some ice cream and smoothie stand. There's two small vats with flavored milk with a beater in each. He says since me and Jamie are lovers we should get an idea from those mixers... It makes no sense but it sounds sexual and rude. I just ignore it. I try to lean against Jamie while I walk and she almost stumbles or trips. I apologize and she puts her arm around me. I notice I'm eating a bunch of mini plain doughnuts from a small paper bag. I go to eat one and Jamie tries to grab it out of my hand. I give it to her. I say, "I don't like the taste of these anyway." As they are pretty bland. That's all I remember.

Audio only dream

I hear both me and Jamie reciting The Lord's Prayer together.

The real Jesus.

In my vision I see something like a nice painting. It resembles Jesus Baptizing Jamie in a stream.

I really hope it's true.

First off. I wanna backtrack on what I said about soul ties. I did some research and the term is not biblical. That crazy stuff about sex may not be true.

second: I was doing my prayers yesterday. Jesus kept pressing on me to give Jamie things to pray about... and I'm like: I get that, but could you be more specific? I was not expecting an answer but Galatians 4:3 screamed into my head. I actually never read all of the bible yet... So I wasn't particularly familiar with that book. I was skeptical but looked it up on bible gateway website. and the NIV translation really shocked me: So also, when we were underage, we were in slavery under the elemental spiritual forces of the world of course you always have to go with context. the next verses describe going into Jesus as a son or daughter, and onward it says 9 But now that you know God—or rather are known by God—how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable forces ? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again? So what I gather is: pray against your vices and keep them in check. And spiritual forces. I pray all that over her.

third: To Jamie, try not to feel worried or pressured that you must do anything towards me soon or right away. Take your time. If you know Jesus now, get to know him and rest in him - Lay your worries at his feet. I was on tikTok yesterday and occasionally i get BPD related videos and one said something that seemed to reflect what she said in a dream, when she said, "Please be very patient with me." It said: be patient and let them open up to you. I know it can be dangerous to you to jump into something if you're not ready or careful. I still have some issues to work on myself - Trauma over memories and stuff, which the head voice helps with (I ask: what did it mean when you did/said this or that sort of thing. Her voice does answer even sometimes reluctantly. I get answers that seem to make sense - not going to rely on this completely, the only answers i can really trust is yours.) I wanna work on making myself a safe place for you.

Dreams: only 2 from last night.

Fight

I was in a grassy hill area. I was flying around in the air or something. Jamie was walking on a hill all zoned out doing her glass eye thing. A bunch of people were fighting on another hill. A big witch was wielding a sceptor shooting electricity. Raven was there. I can't remember much.

ok

Another sex dream.. This time in a bunch of sheets.

honestly I kind of miss the dreams where we seem to be talking - negotiating, asking questions.

First night:

Just a flash of a sex dream. Couldn't really tell who it was with.

Second night before bed, Talked with Raven about a dream Raven had about visiting Jamie. Apparently Jamie was digging a hole in her dream house basement in order to let a "friend," in. I found that suspicious, so I suggested to Raven that we help Jamie dig the hole and find out who her friend is.

Wandering

A dream of wandering around a big and fancy apartment building or hotel. I had to go to the bathroom so I kept going up and down stairs. In my memories of this place I remembered where one might be. I went there but the toilet was gone and in its place: there was a homeless man humping someone under him. I wandered off and kept searching but my memory fades.

Funny

Brief sex dream. Me and Jamie are in Canmore, she's driving a brown SUV or an older station wagon. We park on a street and use the back. I notice it's common for her to be on top.

Oh no

I'm in Jamie's house in the addic room. It's really messy and disorganized. An angry and stressed out Jamie walks in through a door. She has a small piece of paper in her hand and says, " Jesus said that you have to message me and ask me out!" And she throws the paper violently on the table and storms off. I look at the table she threw it on and see a bunch of papers strewn and torn up all over the table.

Now, I did pray about false Jesus' not being able to enter our dreams. Probably why she had to dig a hole to see her "friend." That must be some weird dream - logic loophole.

On the note subject matter: I've already made myself pretty clear on here and still stand on what I said. I'm left on read, for 6 years now. Pretty clear indication that Jamie wants nothing to do with me, and I'm treating it as such. That's a clear boundary for her and me. If she has a change of heart and reaches out - that's a different story. I'm not going to force or manipulate anyone into anything. A month ago I had some dreams of Jamie wanting to apologize, and also that I should wait and be patient with her while she figures out what to say. I'll stick with that.

Laptop

Back in the same room and Jamie is going through my laptop. She's looking for dating sites i used to go on or something. That's all I remember.

Nope, I deleted all my profiles, and removed all apps.

I had a strange coincidence I forgot to add concerning the Jamie voice. Well I Don't know if Jamie has come to know Jesus as saviour yet, or if she understands the gospel. (I have a strong suspicion she does read my DJ on here since I stopped seeing her drive by me after I called her out on it on this Dj) So... I was out having a smoke late one night and her voice popped in my head, " We're born again Christians!" Her voice said boastfully Right after I heard that I looked into the sky and saw a shooting star. Always nice to get a wink from the old man upstairs!


No title


I was in a large parking lot during the day and sitting on a large bench or divider with Jamie. She had red hair like a ginger. I must have looked different as well because she didn't recognize me. I also didn't know who she was. But she seemed familiar. She was telling me about a guy she knows, hasn't talked to him for years, but she keeps hearing his voice in her head, and also other strange things happen concerning him. I mentioned to Jamie that it sounds like a soul tie. Jamie seemed mad at that statement and stormed off.

I got up and went my way Some guy went past me on a hover board and was also drinking a blue juice. I realized I was in a Fortnite dream. Well that explains us not looking like ourselves... I was gonna shoot at him but he didn't notice me. I decided to just go on my way.

Regarding soul ties. Popular Christian theories state soul ties are created from sex, . The Bible says sex creates a bond. Everyone you sleep with you give them a piece of your soul and you get a piece of theirs, including generational curses and demon possession. Well... Me and Jamie never did the deed. However I believe us having a strong emotional bond created it. Or possibly a sex dream, which I do remember one from that era. One giveaway that it could have been shared was how she went silent on me for an entire week. I noticed after we would hang out she would freeze me out for days as if in reaction to the emotional intensity of spending time with me. After that dream ( wether she dreamed it as well or somehow read it on my dj) and the way she went quiet for so long, I'm positive she was aware of that dream.

Regarding voices again. Her voice seemed to reflect her feelings from the dream. In my head she said it seemed like I'm too good to be true. To that I say the only way to know for sure is to talk with me in person, or messenger ( god forbid), or through DV, and we can compare notes on all this crazy stuff. The worst that could happen is I might give her a big hug if she asks me.

First night:


strange

Just a brief flash of me floating in a living room and I'm also praying for Jamie.

what?

I'm in some room waiting for Jamie and she walks in holding hands with some guy that looks like me, only it's not and she's really smiling. Ok, so there are fake dream versions of me now?

Next night:

driving

I'm in a car with my brother. He's driving. It's on some country roads. we come to a 4 way stop and on the side of the road is a deer and a dog. I keep saying to my brother, "Can I pet that Dawg?". He turns and... Suddenly I'm in a dream with Jamie and we are holding hands. At least I finally got a happy dream about Jamie!

flash

A flash of a dream where I am intimate with Jamie. It seems to be a replay of the one from days ago. but this tim it's in black and white.

Last night:

I had a long non lucid, but can't remember the details. something about being in a big building... I really have to invest in a notepad again.

WTF

I'm in the house where I live in Bowden. My brother is in the koitchen making something. I hear a knock on the front door. Some Filipina lady walks in and calls me by name. I have false memories of her commenting on TikTok or something. She's wearing a mcdonald's uniform. I have other false memories of a different filipina woman coming to my home. I tell the current girl that I don't work at mcdonald's and to please leave. She keeps saying she's in love with my, and her appearance has changed. She's wearing a loose shirt and thes tight white pants, the kind that don't leave much to the imagination. She squats down so I can see her curves. Her Boobs are falling out of her shirt. I try to tell her it's a mistake and I don't know her and I'm asking her to leave. (In my mind I don't want to be messing around with people because I believe Jamie is coming in, and I don't want ANY complications.)

Upset

Just a brief flash of me and another person Talking to Jamie. She seems defensive about something and raises her tone and pitch. I can't remember what was being said or the context.

Flash

Something about Jamie telling me something. But it's so brief that I can't even comprehend a word she was saying.