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    132 Visitor Messages

    1. View Conversation
      hope ur doing good =)
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      Happy birthday Suena
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      Oh, right, you've got two of those munchkins now. The youngest one's a recent addition right, or is my memory just that bad? :X

      As for me, I'm fine. Got myself stuck in a bit of a rut for a while, but I think it's about time I got my ass back on track. First order of business was saying hi to a few old friends. You were one of them; go ahead, feel special, I'll give it a minute to let it sink in.
    5. View Conversation

      Hey you, been a while. I haven't talked to you in idk how long, but I do know it's been far too long. How's life been treating you? If it hasn't been treating you as well as you deserve, want me to beat it up for you?
    6. View Conversation
      Thanks a lot Suena. I'm happy I can make some kind of impact to you. You're going to be an amazing mother and an amazing wife, keep strong, and just know each challenge and shortcoming is going to make you a better woman. So it's perfectly fine if you need to rant, you're getting your feelings out, instead of bottling them up.

      I admit, I've been standing in the doorway of life myself, especially with college and all. You have a lot of things to be responsible for, so I understand why you're likely to feel dormant. You're a stronger person than myself, all of those things you have to deal with would be overwhelming for me. Constantly ranting doesn't mean you're doing anything bad, whatever it takes to ease your tensions off. Hope your children are doing fine and your partner as well, and do your best on your paper, and make sure to take a few breaks here and there.
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      You gave me my 5,500th like! O.O

      Thanks =P
    9. View Conversation
      Hehe <3
    10. View Conversation
      I had a really awesome dream with you last night.
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    About Suena

    Basic Information

    Date of Birth
    June 13, 1990 (32)
    About Suena
    LD Count:
    I'm not dead yet.
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    Working out, reading, writing, music, education, family, friends, and dreams, of course.
    Full-Time Mother and Part-Time Student
    How you found us:
    googled "god" and found an interesting post



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    07-14-2015 04:42 PM
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    View Suena's Dream Journal

    Recent Entries

    Some WILD Napping ;')

    by Suena on 12-13-2013 at 09:34 PM
    I better type this up while it's fairly fresh in my mind. I laid down to nap, originally planning on just sleeping, but I don't think I CAN sleep during the day anymore. What I mean is, every time I want to rest or nap during the day, I end up lucid dreaming. And, that's cool, but it kind of sucks that I can't just have some regular sleep. If anyone has any idea about what's up with that, then please PM me or comment.

    These lucid naps are pretty much always wake-initiated. I closed my eyes and pushed everything out of my mind. I realized that it was likely I was going to become lucid, so I decided to think of where I wanted to be... somewhere peaceful, like a beach. So I kept pushing thoughts from my mind and kept the beach at bay, so to speak. It seriously took like 10 seconds of keeping a clear mind before the outlines of waves and a beach began to form. At first it was like a little kid's drawing, but it started to become more vivid and three dimensional. However, before it got any color, I noticed fins in the water. D: The scene had been corrupted. (I am terrified of the ocean and sharks are the #1 reason). So, thanks, mind.

    So I started to picture somewhere else and unfortunately I ended up at my job. Part of the time I was lucid, and partly not. It was like I kept forgetting that I was lucid, but I could remember that today was my day off, which it is, so I wasn't actually working, but just going around mingling with people. The significant part of this whole napping session was a guy I used to go to school with. I was always a little mean to him because he was kind of arrogant, thought he was hot, and funny, and always hit on me. anyway... I saw him in my dream, and he wasn't speaking to me, the way people who don't like each other don't, and I was lucid, so I just stared at him for a while. And he looked so real, like down to the last freckle, which I wouldn't know about, but there was just so much detail in his face. And he finally made eye contact with me and when he did, I sincerely apologized. I didn't say what for, I just said.. I am sorry and I maintained that eye contact. This DC recognized my sincerity and appeared to be touched. He smiled, but quickly his eyes morphed into demonic black almonds. Which freaked me out, so I woke up. This was like somewhere in the middle of this nap session.

    The reason I say session is that I woke up several times. At one point, I literally had one eye open, although I suppose both were actually open, but I was seeing into my actual waking world, and also into the dream world. However, this could have just been an entire dream, but it felt very real, like yes, lucid dreams feel real, but when you're actually awake (at least most of us) you can see the difference, can't you? I can.

    I believe I can anyway. I felt exactly like I do now, typing this, but I was also dreaming full on with my other eye. Isn't that crazy! It was also happening with my ears. In my left ear, I could hear my son's rain sound maker and in the other I was listening to people talk in my dream. I don't know. It's crazy.

    It's so weird how dream characters are supposed to be simply our own projections, but at the same time, they seem like individuals with their own consciousness. I hate it when I tell a DC that this is all a dream anyway and it doesn't matter, and they look at me like I discovered some super secret and now they're gonna kill me. Anyone else feel that?

    Alright. That's that for today.


    by Suena on 09-01-2013 at 05:18 AM
    I don't know what to make of this. I've always said that we're the best interpretations of our own dreams, but this... is beyond my scope.

    I'm not sure what this would be classified, or if it matters, but...

    The Sun went supernova in my dream. I had a slight warning in my dream and I'm not sure how I found out, but the sun started to become a red tint. Someone or something told me that it was about to explode, and I don't think I was around my sons, but I was around people. I was really scared at first, but I knew I didn't have time to be scared and instead I accepted my fate. I knew we would all burn up and it would be quick, so I just waited for it to happen.

    And then it happened and I only remember seeing a red ball with a little + sign next to it, like you would see on a worksheet in school about neurons or something. And I remember seeing my skin become red and then I woke up. I know we all died, but I just... it was crazy.

    I even wondered if I was dreaming, and tried to wake up, but I couldn't wake up so I thought it was real and I just let it be. It was a peaceful dream, even as terrifying as it would sound.

    Been a long time since I've logged a dream, and this one was worth noting. Any thoughts or interpretations are welcome.. It's always nice to hear what other people think.


    by Suena on 06-20-2012 at 10:44 PM
    I knew it was time for a nap so I shut off the game that has been keeping me up at night and laid down on the couch. Everytime I lay down for a nap during the day I'm always reminded of becoming lucid in my sleep. If I keep it up, I could really get the hang of it.

    Anyway, I shut my eyes and it really didn't take long before I felt that occasional buzz in my head (you know, that strange vibration as you're falling asleep, usually when your body is falling faster than you).

    At first, and since I was intending to lucid dream, I tried to rush it a bit. The hypnogogia was crazy intense. In fact, I'm not sure if what I"ve had before was even hypnogogia before now. I remember seeing skylines and something else I can't recall. I remember something brief about my video game. I was creating a sim but it was so faded, the picture, that I couldn't see it. I began saying to myself that I was lucid and I was dreaming and it did seem to help, but then I said enhance and it acted like it was going to for a second, but it was too soon. I realized it was too soon and that I needed to ride the hypnogogia out a bit longer before I could dream.

    I brought myself back to my waking state for a few minutes.

    I sort of scolded myself for letting my mind wander to the game. What a waste.

    I closed my eyes again and thankfully, within seconds I got the vibrations back quick.

    I tried to be more patient the next time. I started to get that hypnogogia back again but then I started hallucinating voices. I was hearing my son and it sounded like he was getting up. I should've known it was my mind tricking me because I forced myself awake to check and see if he was up. (It can be hard to do this kind of thing with a kid in the house, I'm always afraid I won't hear him and something will happen).

    Awake again, I assured myself I would hear him if he really got up and closed my eyes again.

    This time, I snapped right back into the vibration/hypnogogia state.

    I began my mantra again "I am lucid. I am dreaming" and it started sounding like I was whispering into a microphone. It almost sounded like one of those self improvement mp3s with voice suggestion. I kept repeating my mantra.

    Then I started to hear a man's voice. I was going through so many thoughts following this point, so I hope this makes sense.

    I was still repeating my words, but his voice cut in and said, "Just give me five minutes of your time." My eyes are watering right now because, I don't know, I felt like someone was truly trying to tell me something.

    His voice was old and at first, he sounded like Stephen LaBerge, but then I thought maybe, just maybe, this was God. Finally speaking to me.

    Right after he spoke and I realized it might be divine, I got images. I can very scarcely remember them, unfortunately, because at the same time I got the pictures, a Tool song started. It was clear as day. Eyes are watering again.

    I was in such shock.

    Maynard began to sing. I cannot! For the life! of me! think of what song it was. Maybe it'll come to me later.

    The lyrics, of course, were changed though. They were speaking directly to me. He sang maybe two or three verses before I woke up. I heard every word, but I can now only remember two: Regression, and annoying.

    I understood it then, and I still feel like I understand it now, but no longer in word form, only the feeling I got from it.

    God, I tried so hard to get back there again, but my son DID wake up. And I had gotten too excited that I couldn't fall asleep again.

    I remember as the song started that I was thinking, shit, I need to write this down, but I can't leave?! I think that's why I only caught three verses and woke up.

    IT was an amazing experience, even as short as it was. This journal entry doesn't even give it justice and I really didn't even want to type it in here, but I felt like I needed to.

    From now on, I will take naps during the day as soon as the kid's asleep. If my subconscious is finally going to come forward and talk to me, I need to be there, because I truly am one screwed up little girl in my head...

    Brainwave App.

    by Suena on 05-06-2012 at 09:07 PM
    I downloaded a an app for my new (and first ever) smartphone. The first thing I did when I got it was check out lucid dreaming apps, binaural beats, and things along that nature. I almost downloaded some chakra opening apps but decided to just go with binaural beats for the time being. The free ones are all pretty much samples.

    Anyway, I downloaded this app called Brainwaves developed by The Unexplainable Store. I had seen these people somewhere on the web before when searching for binaurals so I figured I'd give their free download a shot. It only came with one ten-minute session of "Calm-Down" which at first I thought kind of sucked, but I tried it and was able to at least meditate for ten minutes (which is something I've been wanting to do regularly for some time now.)

    Then I saw that they had an offer to become a member (at seemingly no cost) and they would give you two full downloads for free (unfortunately not of your choice.) So I did and instantly they gave me two more binaurals, "Positive Mindset" and "Remote Viewing".

    I read the description about "Remote Viewing" and thought, okay, that sounds fun. So as soon as my son laid down and fell asleep, I laid on the floor, flat and got relaxed with "Calm Down" first before I turned it on.

    After ten minutes of just getting peaceful and relaxed, I turned on "Remote Viewing" and focused on the beat. I had just had my usual energy drink (not the ones full of sugar and bullshit) but one like athletes use, lol. So I really wasn't that tired. When I began getting hypnagogia imagery I was surprised because it didn't take long at all.

    I did seem to fall asleep, but I was aware the whole time of my state. It was pretty neat. I began getting some strange thoughts and at one point I had a picture before me of two animalistic looking men and they were ripping another man into half whilst chewing and eating his flesh. It wasn't that graphic in visuals but it was in my narrative. In my head, I had spoken and said "Well, we didn't WANT to eat him..." as if we were just following our instincts.

    As soon as I said that I was like, wtf was I just thinking?!

    Soon after that one had passed I got another and I was driving down this main road in town that's close to my home. Everything was blurry, like it was still hypnagogia, really, and I knew I was probably asleep or something. I went with it and began passing cop cars. The outlines would pop up first, and then my brain just seemed to fill the rest in as each came closer and passed me. My thoughts were, oh shit, they're coming to my house. I was swerving on the road but none were stopping.

    I pulled over when I got a chance and parked. I hid and then I decided that I had been driving my mother's pick up truck for some reason. I had filled in that detail last because when I was driving, it was pretty much an outline too.

    Another hypnagogic visual that I remember, and it might be the last one was of an alligator man thing that this guy was chasing. It had started swimming out to sea and the guy was telling me we couldn't let it escape. I looked at him and then I said, well, there it goes. I pointed to the sea and the man dived in after it. The alligator quickly swam back under and came back at the man. I woke up.

    I did have a dream it seems. My house's roof was all angled like I was in some sort of attic, only it was tiled just like my house is. I remember thinking, hmmm, I don't remember my living room being like this. I had sat there on the couch for a moment, none of the windows were open and I began to ponder my surroundings. I thought, this is home. Before I woke up.

    So, I'll have to try again to see if I get the same kind of results. Regardless of the description (something to do with psychic abilities) it does something to the brain. It was definitely interesting. I just wish I could remember everything.

    Sad rant

    by Suena on 05-01-2012 at 12:19 AM
    This isn't really a dream but...

    I've posted in the rant thread twice already. I feel whiny today.

    I had a dream the other night about a friend of mine from a few years ago. We became good friends the first day we met and slowly but surely went our own ways and I guess I'm really sad about it. Like, really sad.

    She ended up getting into coke with some other girl we worked with and she knew I wasn't a fan of her habit. I was worried, you know. I feel like since then she cut me off, especially when she became pregnant.

    Anyway, on occasion we run into eachother. Probably twice a year it feels like. Usually I say something like hey, how are you, but she usually acts like she just ran into somebody she didn't want to see.

    I don't understand why. I loved her (in a very good friend way). It breaks my heart to know that I will never get to hang out with her again.

    Today, I walked right past her on my way out of the store. I don't know if she saw me, but I kept my head down because I just sensed that she didn't want to make small talk or get back in touch. Just a feeling I got.

    I feel really sad about it.

    I don't have any friends like that anymore. I guess it just made me think of how lonely I am....