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    Date of Birth
    November 7, 1984 (37)
    About Xiertic
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    Inventory management at Walmart
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    Welcome to a world where the air I breathe is mine
    Nothing to overwhelm me and nothing to cloud my mind
    Be anyone, do anything I'd ever want to try
    Time doesn't exist here, I will never die


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    Recent Entries


    by Xiertic on 11-05-2014 at 01:31 AM
    So, thereís nothing to report. Nothing. Nadda. I donít remember any dreams from the last two days. Talk about a serious difference from how things were on that first day back at it, eh?

    My theory is that I just lost my dream recall in the time that I was away. My recall used to be very poor before I started practicing all this. The other day, obviously, was a bit of a fluke. Going lucid perhaps helped me to remember it more than I otherwise would have as well. So now Iím back at square one, and all Iím remembering when I wake up is flashes. Quick images and sounds, and thatís it. So quick in fact that I havenít been bothering with writing them down.

    But it occurred to me, just nowÖ My first day of practicing dream recall, thatís all I had then too. But I still focused on them. Still wrote them down. Despite them being quick flashes, I took them seriously and recorded them. The next day, things went a bit better.. And so on, and so on.

    I think my problem is that Iíve become used to remembering so much that Iím not taking this flashes seriously like I did when I first started this whole thing. So tomorrow, and going forward, Iím committing myself to writing down everything. Even if it seems small and completely pointless. Because thatís how I started, and itís what Iím going to have to do to get back on track I think.


    Work On:
    ĖWrite down every dream the moment I wake from it. Every time. Even if itís just a simple flash.
    ĖDream check more at home. Make it a habit at all places, at all times of the day. Not just at work.


    by Xiertic on 11-03-2014 at 01:43 AM
    At a glance, todayís results seem so lacking after the wonderful thing I went through yesterday. That said, Iím reminding myself that yesterday was likely more a stroke of luck than anything. After how much Iíve slacked on everything lately, todayís results are much more similar to what I should be expecting for the first few days back.

    Just a few scattered dreams. Nothing more. On the bright side, Iím reality checking very often without having to even think much about it. Even at home, which had been hard for me before yesterdayís lucid dream. A little encouragement goes a long way, I suppose.


    I remember nothing about my first dream except that there was some girl, and there was something about pictures of her that were really old. Yeah, thatís it.


    The next dream, oddly enough, had me hanging out with Angry Joe in a very clean-looking living room. There was light colored furniture with a glass coffee table, and lots of lights coming in through large glass windows. Donít recall what we were doing or talking about.

    Somewhere in the dream it became apparent that I had stopped doing something that was important for me to be doing (no idea what it was). Also somewhere along the line some person who I canít remember started to make threats against me. Serious threats, though we didnít seem to take them serious. Nostalgic Critic was there soon after that, and he was trying to figure out why Iíd stopped doing my important thing. He theorized that something was stressing me out and keeping me from doing it. He then concluded that the threats I was getting might have been the cause of the stress.

    I find this dream interesting because I feel like it was my mind directly reflecting on how Iíd stopped the reality checks and dream journaling, and working itself through whatever stress was causing me to do that. The threats I was receiving I canít quite figure out, though.

    And I woke up from this one hearing Animals by Maroon 5 in my head.


    In the last dream I was in my grandmotherís house with Willow. We were getting ready for some sort of gathering, and Willow was making food in the kitchen. Itís not clear to me if we were living there or just using the house, but it seems that Maw had passed away. The first part I really remember from it was me coming out of the bathroom and very quickly walking back up the hall into the kitchen with her, because I found the back area of the house incredibly haunting/scary.

    She felt the same and we started to talk about how spooky the house seemed. We talked about how we keep the doors to the back rooms of the house closed and locked at all times Ďcause it makes us feel safer, yet despite the locks we found ourselves constantly feeling anxious that weíd hear one of the doors open. One time during the dream there was some odd noise that Willow thought was one of them opening and it scared her.

    After that convo I went into the room adjacent to the side door and was putting on my boots, and joked with her about how I definitely preferred it when she was between me and the back of the house. She laughed with me, though we both still felt really uneasy.

    We theorized that maybe the house had a slow, sloth-like energy to it that was sapping all the positive and clean energy from the house, which was generating the anxiety we felt. We then debated on if slow energy really would devour ďfastĒ energy, or if it wouldnít be the other way around.


    Work On:
    ĖWrite down every dream the moment I wake from it. Every time.
    ĖDream check more at home. Make it a habit at all places, at all times of the day. Not just at work.

    Current Dream Signs:
    ĖAmy and Andyís House (Perhaps Amy and Andy themselves as well? Unsure.)
    ĖYylvis, The Fox

    (l) 11/1/2014

    by Xiertic on 11-02-2014 at 04:50 PM
    It goes without saying that Iíve slacked off lately. On this journal, for one thing. Iíd also completely stopped even trying with the dreaming, for another. In fact the more I think about it and question it, the more I realize that my life in general was starting to fall back into the same old rut that it always does.

    But yesterday, I started trying the reality checks again. Not as religiously as before. I had taken no B6. Hell, I wasnít honestly even planning on writing down my dreams when I woke just out of pure laziness. Yet, somehow, after all this time awayÖ And after my first day ďbackĒ being such a half-assed effortÖ I had a lucid dream.

    Well, first I had a dream about being lucid. Like that first one, awhile back. And now Iím sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were just dreams and not actual lucidity. Because the lucid dream that followed was so different, so amazing, so absolutely unbelievable that there can be no doubt in my mind that the other two werenít lucid.

    And it left me so excited, so amazed, that I know thereís no going back now. Iíll take all this more serious than ever before. I read somewhere once that once you have your first one, everything changes and youíll never want to return to not having them. That your dedication and drive will multiply after just the first experienceÖ How very, very true that has turned out to be.

    I remember nothing about the first dream, other than the fact that it was about me being lucid. I didnít write it down when I woke up you see, because even after that I had no intention of writing/trying too hard.

    I question if maybe me dreaming about it was me trying to become lucid, and then somehow failing, but my subconscious continues to build the dream as though Iíd succeeded. Just a thought.

    Anyway, on to the lucid dreamÖ

    I donít remember exactly how this dream starts, or at what point I decided to reality check. Though Iím feeling that it was probably very soon into the dream. Because I was laying in bed, and I was very tired. My suspicion is that the rule of reality checking every time you wake up is what got me (which is funny because I barely ever remember to do that, which is something I now intend to remedy), because I think that in the dream Iíd just woken up. Itís what all signs and images in my memory point to, anyway. I did the pinched nose reality check, and it was seemingly succeeded. Despite being a bit excited at this discovery, I was so tired that I convinced myself that it hadnít really worked, and I almost went back to sleep. Then I checked something else though, despite the tired haze. My hands, I believe. I looked at my palms. I donít remember how they looked like but I do remember that for a brief moment this strobe light type effect started to happen around me, and that was the point where I realized I was definitely dreaming. There was a whoosh, a pop, or something. I canít explain it. But when that happened, everything became much more in focus.

    I guess itís the rush that Iíve read about. They say you get a surge as your senses and mind come alive in the dream, the moment you realize itís a dream. Now I finally know what that feels like.

    Anyway, I was still overwhelmingly tired. So much so that it felt like a huge weight was on me. But I knew I was lucid, and I wanted to get out of bed. I did so very, very slowly. Both for the sake of attempting to keep myself very calm, and also because the tiredness was getting to me. Once I was up though, the tiredness vanished instantly.

    I walked out of the bedroom and into the living room. This house was, in many ways, like my actual home. The rooms were in a slightly different position. The living room especially was an almost mirrored version of mine, with two bedroom doors on the right wall (facing the front door) and a door opposite the front door leading into the kitchen area. There was a little bar/low ceiling thing int he kitchen area near the back wall, though it didnít take up the entirely of the back side of the room. Just like 1/3 of it, or so. I remember locking the bedroom doors Ďcause I felt frightened like something might come out of them. Not sure why.

    Now that I think about it, it was my brotherís bedroom that I was sleeping in at the start of the dream. I lived alone. Not sure what was in that other bedroom, Ďcause that room doesnít exist in this house. I never went in.

    Two things happened next, and I canít remember which came first.

    One of them is that I wanted it to storm. So I closed my eyes, commanded the dream to give me a roaring thunderstorm.. And it did. I could hear the thunder, see the lightning through the windows, hear the rain pounding down. It was so very wonderful.

    The other wasÖ Cats. I think there was already a cat in the living room when I entered, though Iím not positive. Either way, at some point I decided to add cats. I think it was my way of testing the water instead of just trying to add people straight away. I remember adding a lime green cat, an electric blue cat.. There were two others by the time I was done, making four total (counting the one that I think was there already.) Canít remember if I closed my eyes and asked for them, or simply willed them into being.

    With both of those things though, and the things that are yet to come, one thing I definitely noticed is that I didnít always get what I wanted on the first try. If my belief that I could do it wavered at all, it wouldnít work. And even if I believed I could make things happen but didnít MEAN IT when I said what I wanted, it wouldnít happen then either. I had to believe it and to mean it with all of me. Itís going to take some practice. Eventually though, Iíd always get it. Some times on the first try, some times it would take two or three.

    Another thing to note before I move forward is that I was never too much in control of my surroundings. I know I changed the weather (and will again soon), summoned the cats, and teleport once later in the dream.. But for the most part, I just let the dream world build itself around me. Then again, itís worth mentioning that I couldnít convince any of my dream characters that I was dreaming. Which in itself helps show that I wasnít in complete control anyway. So of course the world was mostly building itself. Still, it was worth noting.

    I went outside for some reason. I donít recall why. The storm was no longer happening once I went outside, so I guess I lost control of it. Brian pulled up in the front yard in his truck. The front yard did not resemble my real one. A small lawn with one tree on it, and the road very close the porch. Brian wanted to hang out, and I talked him into getting out of his truck. I donít recall how but I made him believe we were going to fly. I held him by the wrist, focused.. And up we went. Not very high, mind you. I never got more than maybe 20 or 30 feet off the ground. Not sure why. Iím wanting to think that going higher seemed hard for some reason. Brian, despite thinking that this wasnít a dream, seemed to find this whole ordeal perfectly normal. I released his wrist at some point to see if I could keep him flying without me, and I could. So down the road we went, past street lights and trees, until we got into a town setting.

    At an intersection, we came across a group of what I remember being strange-looking people. Jordan was among them though, and I stopped and said hello to him. I donít recall much about our interaction, and I donít remember where Brian wandered off to but he disappears around this time too. In fact this whole small block of the dream is very blurry in my memory. I recall flying low down an alley with lots of things hanging overhead, including several fire escapes.

    Someone was joking around with me at one point about how I never walk, and that Iím always flying. So I land for a few seconds just to be like ďsee I can walk!Ē then I laugh, swear off walking, and go back to flying around again. I made it snow at some point during this, and I do remember that with a bit more clarity because it took me quite a few tries. That plus the blurred memory makes me wonder if the dream was trying to pull me back into it.

    Whatever the case, things become clear again and I tell the dream that I would like to ďreturn to home baseĒ. After a try or two, I was back home with all my little multicolored cats. I decided that I wanted to try to summon someone that I wasnít overly familiar with being around in person, as a bit of a test. So I closed my eyes and called out for Lilith to appear. At first I didnít think it worked, but then I noticed her smiling at me from behind the bar thing in the kitchen. I started to talk to her, though she didnít exactly look like her. Close, but a few things here and there were off. At some point during our interactions, a humanized Fluttershy appeared and started to hang out with us. Probably a red flag, since thatís a bit out there. Because soon after that, I felt the dream start to slip away from me. I realized it was happening, but my research on how to hold on slipped my mind, and very soon I lost control and woke up. I think I got too worried and worked up when I felt it starting to get away from me, hence the waking. I need to study more on how to hold on to it for next time.

    Work On:
    ĖWrite down every dream the moment I wake from it. Every time.
    ĖDream check more at home. Make it a habit at all places, at all times of the day. Not just at work.

    Current Dream Signs:
    ĖAmy and Andyís House (Perhaps Amy and Andy themselves as well? Unsure.)
    ĖYylvis, The Fox
    lucid , memorable

    (l?) 10/18/2014

    by Xiertic on 10-19-2014 at 02:34 AM
    My dreams today were much more blurry than yesterday. All signs of the vividness is was pretty much gone. My ability to remember them was so much less as well. My mind was very active and pumped when I went to bed, so maybe that is part of the cause. But also, I didnít take a sleeping pill.. Were those helping more than I realized? Looking back at past entries, it seems the most vivid and memorable dreams all occurred while a pill was in my system. I think Iíll try another day or two without one to test this out. If the trend of blurry dreams continues after that, Iíll try a pill again and note the difference.

    The details are gonna be almost nothing on these dreams, and the writing jump around and perhaps end abruptly. But Iím just working with what little I do remember here.

    Going forward, I will mark entries with a lucid dream in them with (L) at the start of the entryís title.

    The first dream focuses on my brother and him having trust issues with women. Someone he was supposed to spend some time with has bailed on him and given him a reason for doing so. But he doesnít believe her, so he checks on her. This process I think repeats a few times, and some of the women end up being honest and some of them had lied.
    ĖFlashes: KFC, a huge (and very nice) house, something about todayís Vols game.

    In this dream it was somewhat close to time for to go to work, but I decided to lay in bed with Willow for a little while before I left. Figuring it would be a good idea to set an alarm in case I fall asleep, I ask her if sheís sit up and set it for me. She accidentally changes the time though instead of setting the alarm, so I fix it for her.

    For some reason though thereís a group of three people nearby and theyíre making a lot of noise, so I get up and leave to go sleep somewhere else. When sleep became the singular goal of this laying down, Iím not sure.

    This next dream is the ďbigĒ one for the night, because unlike the other two I remember more pieces of it. I do recall that there was a villain/antagonist in this dream. A floating figure, black robed and blue haired. Like the villain in The Little Mermaid actually, though I canít recall if it looks exactly the same. This antagonist made several appearances, usually that I just remember in flashes that I canít really place in the timeline.

    Myself and a bunch of people from work were outside watching fireworks. Some big firework shell fell near us and landed on someoneís car, doing serious damage. Somehow another firework made a boulder roll down the road and it hit my car, doing serious damage to the front left side and tired. It was still able to be driven (as I remember doing so later in the dream, we went to the park I think) but the tire as at an odd angle I and I feared it would fall off. Anyway, I was going to go after whoever was shooting the fireworks and demand that my car be fixed, but now in the dream fireworks were being shot in the air from all different directions around us, so I couldnít tell where the one that caused my problem had come from.

    I also just now remembered that at first the fireworks were coming from only direction when my car got hit, and Jordan showed me a flier saying some place was supposed to be firing off fireworks at the exact time my car got hit. So we were trying to figure out if that place was near us, so that we could tell if theyíd done it. Before I could take action though the fireworks from all the other directions started as well and we were no longer sure that they were our culprit.

    At another point I was being chased through some sewers by spiders. Lots of them. There were other vermin as well. I think they were rats and snakes, but Iím not positive on that. Somehow I realized though that if I just laid down and waited, the vermin would all just pass over me and keep going after the others that were being chased. I realized that because the spiders had gotten me once before (I vaguely remember being chased before earlier in the dream), that they had no interest in getting me a second time. The antagonist was behind the vermin.

    This is were things get perplexing to me. Later in the dream (I THINK it was the same dream), I was outside on my front porch. Something strange happened and it prompted me to reality check. I donít remember what check I did, but I think it was something with my hands. And I donít remember exactly how that played out, but I realized I was dreaming. For some reason the dark was scaring me, so I closed my eyes and said that when I opened them it would be daylight and Iíd be somewhere else (Amy and Andyís house I think). I ended up teleporting a few other times as well, and at some point the antagonist showed up. Thatís all I remember though.

    The thing is, Iím not sure I actually went lucid. Is it possible to just DREAM that you had a lucid dream? Not sure.. Iíve posted on the forums about it. The thing is that the dream didnít feel any different than a normal dream that I can remember. The memories donít feel any different. All recollection that I have of it points to it being just a 100% normal dream. So did I just dream that I was lucid? A&Aís house IS a dream sign, which also makes me question. Plus the fact that I canít 100% remember my reality check.

    So Iím just not sure, on that one. Iíll think more about it and see what people with some experience have to say.

    Work On:
    ĖWrite down every dream the moment I wake from it. Every time.

    Current Dream Signs:
    ĖAmy and Andyís House (Perhaps Amy and Andy themselves as well? Unsure.)
    ĖYylvis, The Fox


    by Xiertic on 10-19-2014 at 02:33 AM
    Well damn. Thereís two short ones that go along with this one, but guess what? I didnít write them down. They were short and there wasnít much to them, and I remembered them so well at the time......... So! Remember yesterday how I said Iíd never skip writing one down out of laziness? Well let me rephrase that. From now on I will not skip writing one down for ANY reason. If Iím supremely sick or injured, maybe Iíll get a pass. Maybe. But outside of that, thereís no more excuses. Theyíre to be written down, every single time. You got that brain? Okay great, good. Letís move on then.

    Hereís the one big one that I do remember.. Iíll come back and edit this later if I happen to remember the others, but I have doubts.

    My brother and I were sitting in the living room at Andy and Amyís house. I donít recall seeing either of them, or any of the kids for that matter. It actually seemed very much like we lived there. Come to think of it, during the ďOrathrapodĒ dream, we were on our way there.. Starting to suspect that living in that house is a common there in my dreams.

    Anyway, we were in the living room and I was playing some video game. I beat the game and decided to pop in a new one I got. After the first few minutes of the new one (maybe it was an opening cinematic, I donít remember) myself and Mike (who had watched me beat the previous game and was now watching this one) thought it looked very exciting. I got excited and pulled my chair to the center of the living room for a better view and to be closer to the tv. Think it may have been a rocking chair. Pinkish red. (Didnít I have a rocking chair like that as a kid??)

    The game was very colorful with poppy cartoon graphics. Looked a LOT like WoW at first. I made an archer. Mike leaves (I think) at some point while playing. The game starts to look more like Skyrim. At one point Iím backpedaling away from a bunch of rats and spiders. Maybe some tigers too? Not sure. Iím shooting them with a projectile, canít remember what kind. Donít think it was a bow. This was in a forest, backpedaling parallel to a river. Spiders were shooting webs at me, but it was short range and usually missed. Got too far away from the pack at one point and had to move forward to get close enough to hit them again. Ended up with a 1 vs 2 and I went into the water (donít remember why). The game becomes reality at this point and itís me vs a rat and one other thing. Canít remember what. Tiger maybe. Holding the rat off to the side with one hand as I fight the larger beast. I remember trying to choke it and hold it underwater to drown it. Other beast is eventually gone, canít remember if I killed it. Iím scared the rat is going to bite/claw me really hard as I hold it underwater. Lots of adrenaline and fear here Ďcause I didnít want the rat (it was huge) to bite me as I desperately tried to kill it.

    Next thing I remember is this weird Kelly and Willow thing. Iím standing in the kitchen (still at A&Aís) with Willow and sheís telling me about a fight that they got into. Iím feeling flashes of the fight in my head as she talks. Itís also in a river I believe, and I think sheís telling me this story as an ďI can relate to your giant rat fightĒ type of deal.

    The fight is brutal and she almost loses, but she ultimately wins by shoving a straw through Kellyís eyeball, thus killing her. Straw was a cheap, pink plastic. When she tells me about the straw stab, I ask her if that ďwas a KOĒ. I find it strange for some reason that she didnít seem phased by my nerdy little reference. She just says ďyesĒ and keeps talking.

    The backdoor is open and from where we are I can see the alley behind the house while we talk. Itís a bright, sunny afternoon, that reminds me very much of Summer days as a child.

    Work On:
    ĖWrite down every dream the moment I wake from it. Every time.
    ĖMore reality checks when things seem strange.
    ĖGet some B6 vitamins.

    Current Dream Signs:
    ĖAmy and Andyís House (Perhaps Amy and Andy themselves as well? Unsure.)