ZAD
Oneironaut

Sep 23 2018

Four nights lucid in a row! PB!

[D] FA where I'm in bed, feeling my breath intensely. I can see two spheres of breath rotating and flowing throughout themselves, as if each of them is tearing itself inside out. The spheres are located a few inches in front of my face and are about 5 inches in diameter each. They're arranged one atop the other forming a sort of figure 8. I shift to seeing this in third person from the left side. Maybe they're feeding into each other? But I see and feel their movement aligned with my even, deep breaths.

[?] Wrote something in my DJ but can only vaguely make out the words "tonight", "Jesus", and "fool". Awoke 5:30am.

[L] In 9. The dream starts in my bedroom. My bunk is high, almost shoulder level (like one of my old dorm rooms). There are some assorted items laid out on the bed. It's dark outside. I'm trying to find something. The dream shifts to the front yard briefly, then to the kitchen. I need to make F a BLT without lettuce or tomato, on a long sourdough slice. For some reason I'm trying to find a saucepan (maybe to cook the bacon?) but the only one I can find is submerged in water in a white bowl next to the sink. The pan has a thin coating of spaghetti sauce on it. Around this point I become lucid, or rather reach the threshold of awareness, but decide not to do anything about it and to observe instead. I don't consciously control anything, from dream body to dream logic. I put down the slices of toast in the toaster, and they seem too long but somehow change dimensions to fit. At first the slices are vertical as expected, but after looking away and back, they are arranged horizontally at the bottom of the toaster. I'm talking to F this whole time. Finally I tell her "I'm lucid". She doesn't really react. I decide to do something improvised, a coordinated reality check. I hold out my palm and either through speech/nonverbal command or through expectation, I have her stick her finger through my palm. It worked! However now I couldn't really see her, and could see through her. She was transparent and I could clearly read some text behind her that took the form of her body. The dream shifted quickly and I was outside the kitchen looking in, and the lights were off. I said aloud "lights on!" and some dim lights came on but not all. The dream started to fade. I remembered to do math but lost the dream before I could. When I awoke I tried to DEILD, however I could only see the emerging scene if I strained my eyes to the bottom-right corner; there were maybe 5 or 6 scenes that emerged. When I opened my eyes it was around 6:40.

[F] I find myself outside a sliding glass door with a family inside. They let me in, they're part of a resistance and they're hiding me from someone; before this I was in a ditch. This was in-depth but unfortunately my pen ran out of ink.

[D] I was in a church library. There were bookcases that slid apart, and I was shoved inside. Inside it was dark and there were others. We could see through the cracks of light left by the books. After several implied weeks of pleading my case that we weren't able to read the books in the dark, those imprisoning us finally gave us some better quarters. It was some sort of speakeasy establishment, and our quality of life went up (we had alcohol and other entertainment) but now some of the black prisoners were slaves/barmaids.

Sep 24 2018

I had at least four dreams but can only remember two. I'm trying to utilize a memory palace for dream recall when I don't have a physical DJ next to my bed, but it's not always working (although it does help a bit).

[D] I'm in the backyard of 9, in full knight's armor. I'm carrying a metal jug of gasoline or urine. It's daytime outside and I'm splashing this mystery liquid all over the lawn; I get some on my neighbor's fence.

[D] After a longish dream, I find myself sleeping 9's garage. There are several pillows, and one of them is fancy but makes no sense (day residue from a stupid sweater one of the Property Brothers was wearing). It's made by George (the Walmart brand). It was very visually vivid (and mentally/perceptually clear) at this point, and I think if I didn't get involved with the dream drama I could've easily become lucid. I was in a sling chair but now I'm in some sort of giant furniture bucket looking at a late 90's desktop and monitor. My dad comes in and talks to me for a bit. I decide to go inside and sleep on the couch (worried about bugs). When I go to shut down my computer though, my C drive disappears! I think my hard drive somehow unmounted itself (in the dream I thought somehow it got disconnected/shaken loose). It's a weird mix of XP and Vista and 7 and when I open the start menu I can't search for anything in the search bar. I start freaking out about my computer, eventually I wake up.

Sep 22 2018

(from phone and in reverse order, will start doing proper entries again one day)

D - HMT - night, distinct steps - slavery/oppression situation - an email gets leaked and a kill order is sent (room, test?)

Lucid! 6.44, in crowded mall, surge of awareness, put hand on DCs like she was pregnant, become lucid! LOTS of DCs. most smiling and laughing directly at me, although i don't interpret it as humiliation, but something more like happiness/being proud of me). say aloud, "subconscious, make all of my dreams automatically lucid", start losing the lucid and remember to math but accidentaly count instead, by the time i add it's too late, awake (stiff bed)

F - before - woman in closet tied up w phone alarm going off, someone almost finds but doesn't, she will die in there

D - long magenta house, yelling hardcore at mom, i want to leave. shame, guilt, anger. dad involved (their fight), oven/meal

F - megaphone/board game, F screaming, title of game - screaming (at police officers?)

F - school before

Sep 21 2018

on the phone again

8 light downstairs intruder dream/fa (more detail later maybe)
problems remembering other nls through night
In 9, living room couch, sth about stalking (m & f) kpop stars, some kind of weird light texhnology
Become lucid walking to dark hallway/foyer! look at hands, etc, but loud vacuum left on in office, examine then ignore. remembered to do math! only +, 2 up to abt 23, felt confident, grabbed front door (light coming thru) but before fully opening shut and thought about where i wanted to teleport (some part of my mind still doubted it would work bc of the light). i opened the door (v realistic) but it was just the front yard/street. tried to spin teleport, couldn't. walked towards sidewalk, started getting fuzzy, dropped to knees around curb and felt concrete while doing a little math again, worked! got up walked along sidewalk on other side of street a bit and tried to transform my body (i wanted to grow 4 arms, didn't). I had a plaid pattern (blue/white) button down shirt on. after both of these (drop to knees, transform) the scenery/sidewalk path changed a bit. at this point i was
coming up on a large glass souse with i believe a tin roof, shape was a mix between office bldg, church, and warehouse. i could see no furniture inside, and it was dark so i decided not to go in (also think there could have been a rowdy kid playing on my side of the street). i kept walking and remembered my goal to meditate. i passed under a tall pine and sat/lay back on the sidewalk doing a little math and taking in my senses (sight and touch, sound was negligible). to my left on grass were amazing curling fern-like leaves that were covered in dew (they were coming from the grass, like a different type of grassgrowing through). i unfurled some of the leaves and the dew felt nice (not cold, just damp). I decided to look up at the sky - vision became immediately blurry until i stabilized some more. sky was beautiful, and as i had been doing the whole time, i just reflected on how awesome it was that this was a dream and i was conscious in it! after maybe 10 more seconds i awoke. deild attempt but no dice

I wrote all this beforehand last night, interestingly:

Focus:
Ch, F are triggers. DCs tell me I'm dreaming Do math, then spin teleport (clearly)!

New goal:
Grow 4 arms (separate out)

Sep 20 2018
(from phone again)
awoke 330, no dreams (not a trace)

[D]nl in hallway then classroom, trying to be sneaky w F, middle school, they have a sub or "numbers lady" helping them, I'm in a desk (shame - naked?), F finds the biology or nursing book, but it's hardbound landscape like a steno book and the papers are warped and barely readable, I'm upset as I need the book, try to show F but now all pages are fine, can't find a warped one (vivid)

[SL]felt like a visualization/hh at first, but was a dream. in a larger classroom (feels like biology, maybe + lab), clear sight of 2 doors, see dcs walking by doorway and some entering, some of them have ? for faces, become semi-lucid (aware that i can control my surroundings, but not the idea of "dream")? start copying one dc using doorway expectation, a blond plain-faced girl with a loose pony tail. i copy her several times passing through the doorway, some going in some walking on, i look at the other students and try to decide how to control them when one of my copies sits next to me, i get kind of nervous and after a second i wake up

[L]I'm in bed and I feel like my dog is going to walk on my face (i feel a presence approaching) but i hear the door swinging on the hinges like it's already open and i realize its F. she says "it's me, june" and is being silly. i realize I'm dreaming but i can't open my dream eyes, so i start separating my dream body from what i can now feel is my real sleeping body (or my dreaming physical body, not sure if it was a copy because they were in same position), i separate mostly and tell her to come with me (still can't see except checkerboard hh, but can hear and feel surroundings as i move) i phase thru the wall next to the bed and fall back, flying to catch my fall, hh gets lighter, i float back up and ask "june" to join me again and i wake up. try to hold on to hh but dog wakes me up. whole thing was nonvisual (not counting the hh-like imagery)

Sep 19 2018

[D] A new member of a BBS/forum commits suicide and posts graphic pictures, leaving clues behind. Some users of the BBS call it a hoax, others accept that it's real but are still indifferent. His name is something like OPMQLN (six letters, unsure about the first two only).
[F] Walking down a city street at night. There's an interstate hi-rise above us (I'm walking with one to five other people). It's dark but there's a sort of faded golden glowing property around everything. There was either snow or rain on the ground, and in the sky, but not touching us. Maybe I was with two people and we passed six people? Overall a feeling of good cheer.
[D] I'm in a room similar to a cabin I once stayed at with F. It has a queen bed and is connected to a long living room which leads to a kitchen. I'm working (at my old restaurant possibly) and my (fictional restaurant) coworker drops a glass of spaghetti. The glass had the noodles, meat, and sauce combined already. When the jar shatters there's a ballistics-like scene left over. It reminds me of the strings Dexter puts up for blood spatter analysis. My coworker needs to clean it up and the vibe is that I should help but I refuse because he made the mess. A speck of sauce made it all the way into the first room, and I wipe it off with my finger. I'm bringing two hardcover books (one is light blue) to place on a bookshelf in the original room.
[D] A long, three-stage epic about an apocalypse. The first is live-action and sort of reminds me of Princess Mononoke, it takes place in a dark forest and tells the story of the mother and child; at parts the visuals are clay stop-motion. The second part has visuals similar to Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines (very specific to how the walk cycle animations look in this game, and the general quality). The mother and child are at the ranch home, but on this rainy night an evil woman creature steals the prize horse. The father mounts an evil beast and chases after her. He's weilding a black buster sword. From a distance, she casts some sort charm/weaken/poison spell on him and he (me) starts seeing bats with different visual effects (invert colors, seeing auras, blur, etc.). He dies. The child grows up a bit and one night rides out to the edge of the field, and she reaches a resort hotel where she speaks over a fence to a woman near the swimming pool. In the third part, the child is grown, and the town around her is separated into different Animal-Crossing-like houses. They each represent someone in the town who's died (one of them representing her father) and they look like russian dolls. Then they all simultaneously turn around and just look like houses (they're lined up in a grid). Their brick tiles/shingles on the right side of each house shift slowly up in a symbolic gesture.
[F] I'm in my old church on the altar.
[D] I'm a youngish man with a wife and kid(s), I've just managed to stop the nuclear apocalypse somehow. There were three huge glowing green worms/dragons/snakes (in some scenes they remind me of Mass-produced Evas), and now they're banished or blacked out from our world. Scene transition to me shooting a rocket launcher, but it just puffs. Scene transition to an overview of the land in black, and the three green snakes circling around it, but being unable to enter (there is a circle that they can go behind and be blacked out, but they can't affect anything (I think in-dream -- maybe they can within the blackout circle). Scene shift to a sliding glass window and I see my daughter outside. I almost get lucid and have the opportunity to, but for some reason don't. I'm really drawn in by my (fictional) daughter and rush outside to pick her up. It's a really heartwarming moment. Scene shifts and it's a third person view and my fictional family and I get into a bus. I'm narrating like it's the end of movie and I just did something badass. I remember the line "I make $50,000." We head out of the driveway and are imediately crashed into by a firetruck. My family is fine but I'm injured, the fire department (and chief) are very resentful at me for some reason. Maybe in the way that I saved the world I somehow stepped on their toes. They rummage through our stuff in the bus.
[D] I'm going through a house which feels more like a gift shop. In the entrance there are some people talking, the first time through they feel off but the second time I realize they're platic with speakers and they say the same bit each time. There are glass display cases with objects inside, possibly this is a museum for one of the apocalypses in my former dreams. I pass through a (possibly beaded) doorway on the right if you're coming in (there's a counter or column or something in the middle of the room that you have to walk around). The black guy from Fear the Walking Dead (don't his name as I'm only passively watching this show while F watches it) is leaning at a bar counter and I pass him. Off to the right is a door which I don't think twice about the first time through. The second time through, I go in and there's something secret and important there, like it's an exit into another place (possibly the cabin in my early dream?). There's a valuable item in a chest which I see, can't remember what it was now.