ZAD
Oneironaut

Dream - Really good one but I lost it.

Dream - On city block arguing with cousin about marble or ugly pattern on truck and "it's just another truck anyway, why does he need to own this many trucks when the public transportation is cheaper in the long run". See a new baby/toddler cousin - his fingers are messed up and he's covered in cheeto dust. He calls me "Papa" which all my cousins laugh about and my aunt just rolls her eyes (?). We walk around this city area a bit, I remember specifically like "zooming in" on a market stall in the distance.

Fragment - Role Models actor (Sean) bad trump impression one slice pumpernickel loaf in fridge.

1x1 + 1x.5 = 1.5 => 169.5

Frag - 3 people, huge white rectangular cube in corner of open room

Frag - A boss of mine is rumored to be "super buff", and just doesn't look that way because of how he points his webcam

Dream - bringing F and other person (older?) to the beach. I have to go around on the parking lot once but I pull through to a good spot and vocalize this. We all get out and walk to a beach area. The waves are coming up surprisingly high. There are a few people in the water, one buff dude with grey skin. We get separated briefly

Dream - T (very immature former classmate) is teaching a human sexuality class (this is near the beach hill from last dream). There are diagrams on the board, of how names change in relationships. Parents become Mom and Dad even to each other, and also baby to each other. There were some other very serious points she was making but I was paying attention to the letters because there was some kond of code in the way words were capitalized

2x1 +2x.5 = 3 =>168

Dream: In restaurant, maybe FL or Outback. I've asked them to let me use their kitchen to prepare a meal for F, they agreed. I'm cooking a Ruth's Chris-sized steak and while I'm busying myself with everything else (sides, table prep) it burns on the bottom. I flip it and quickly go to serve it. But it turns out they gave me a shitty table, and I know how F likes booths. So I try to move but all they can give me is a less shitty table. So I pick up the drinks and food and move them, I have to get the assistance of one of the waitresses to get it all, then F arrives and the waitress is sitting with us now. Suddenly a boy joins us to get with the waitress, and it's a very convoulted version of the dance episode from "My So-Called Life" which F was watching last night. The steak tastes amazing despite being "well and good" or some other variation of the phrase "well done" that one of the DCs said. It was really juicy, nicely but minimally seasoned, tasted like a solid Medium although it looked black on the bottom.

Dream: Dream revisits the same area as the last dream, I take F through to the other side of the building, it's a long hallway that reminds me for some reason of the first level map from SW: Dark Forces, while in reality it's just a long, wide white hallway with very tall ceilings and a cul-de-sac-ish area at the end.

Spoiler for potentially NSFW:

F and I are talking (sort of fighting?). I'm on top of her on the ground and we're making out and for some reason I slap her? I walk outside of the divider and see Ms. P, my babysitter from when I was a kid. It's this really awkward juxtoposition (I think I may have been naked?) and I'm trying to be nice to her while she's hugging me, and at the same time am feeling really guilty about F, and want to go apologize to her or something, but I'm still mad at her? It was just a huge jumble of emotions.

Fragment: F and I in an upstairs hallway like Laura Palmer's but reversed and open, hiding from someone?

Dream: FA where I wake up and feel neck-fuzzy and walk around the room clumsily.

Actual WBTB happens here.

Dream: I'm a superhero in a library area, my nemesis is Bullet, I have a female partner, at some point I hijack smokey van for a getaway (from a black patriarchal superhero gang/family of Bullet), I have invisibility powers, "NPCs" can't see me but will still avoid me -- thought that was an interesting caveat; an older woman superhero comes in and betrays my partner and is searching for me with the help of Bullet, I fly through paper separators, they won't kill me -- want me alive. Will edit to fill in details later. At some point I could read things consistently -- what did I read??

Dream: Lanes, bus, swerving. Bus is like 20 feet wide and 30 feet high and has to park outside of the overpass. Sunny day.

Lucid #81: Revisit table/desk area from Bullet dream. Spontaneously gain awareness but don't want to "cross the threshold" and become lucid. Linger for a second, playing with drawers, then say fuck it and ask "What is my path in life?" or something like that to my subconscious repeatedly. I don't get or feel a response, so I remember some old advice and look down and examine myself.

Spoiler for decidely NSFW:

I'm wearing a deep blue T-shirt, and for some reason, grey panties. I walk up to a mirror near the desk and check what's going on down there, and it's a pretty accurate depiction of the female anatomy. I'm kind of just checking it out when the realization hits that the dream is screwing with me and I'm about to wake up

Spoiler for decidely NSFW:

and then I do.

Tried Numi brand Guayusa tea last night (at bedtime, not WBTB, because I had no opportunity to steep tea for 8-10 minutes in the middle of the night). I half-expected it to keep me awake but in reality my thoughts were just so clear for the first time in a long time that I didn't want to go to sleep for around 30 minutes. Still had no problem relaxing with it overall, it just felt like a fog had been lifted from my brain. Highly recommend.

5x1+ 1x.5 + 10 (first lucid) + 5 (DILD) + 2 (WBTB) = +22.5 => 165

12-16

Nothing pre-WBTB
Dream: FA where red foxes come into the backyard, dog is scared, then more foxes come over hill covering fence.
Dream: FA where I'm rehearsing a lucid in bed - visualization skills were amazing because I was in a dream (I think).
Lucid #78: In 9 backyard, become lucid, run out towards birdhouse with dog, turn him into a fox from earlier dream, fly.
Lucid #79: In attic, become lucid, do weird finger-through-wood-through-finger RC, walk around, beginning of plot of #80 (grey hair black eyeliner pale woman is introduced as a revolutionary/collaborator?)
Lucid #80: In a modern-looking guggenheimish place, kept myself stable for a long time (maybe 5 mins total dream length?). Got lucid almost immediately but went with plot of lucid. I'm a woman in this one, running away and spying on behalf of the woman from before. I remember feeling my feet when I was running. I run through an atrium/lobby area while it's still empty and find a good place to duck behind (it's an attached area to the circular lobby and staircase that's recessed a few feet into the floor). When I climb/drop down into this small hiding place, I feel the gravity/physical sensations in vivid detail even though it's a movie-style acrobatic move. I duck pretty low (but not low enough) and watch as maybe a hundred people come down the staircase. I start looking at their faces and they're so detailed. They're all adults, most dressed in business clothes or their sunday best. Suddenly there are three or four older women and men wearing long powder blue robes and white hoods/masks, and they look right at me. I jump out of my hiding spot, across the staircase and to the lobby (where all of the people are now. I stand on a table and am soon followed by the pale white-haired black eyeliner girl, who starts monologing about why we're there. After a bit of this (I wish I remembered what she said) I wake up.
It was a long lucid chain so I had other lucids but don't remember enough to write them down or count them. Lucid fragment: transformed myself.
Fragment: Grandpa?
Dream: FA where I write down/tell all of my dreams

3x1 + 1x.5 +
10 (first lucid) + 5 (DILD) + 2 (WBTB) +
5 (RC) + 2x5 (other lucids)
= +35.5 => 138.5

12-17

Dream: Watching an RPG like Chrono Trigger or Oracle of Seasons (those eras) play out in front of me; it's taking place in a large castle with small raised platforms along the walls of an open section. At first there are people (sprites) there, but ss I approach each time they fade quickl. Possibly due to a curse? I think tomyself during the dream that the sprites sould be replaced with a "..."?
Fragment: Trying to find a shirt in the dryer for F's cousin, they're all too small though.
Fragment: Something about a carrot wrapped in plastic (Easter).
Dream: Overhead view of google maps/earth, I'm watching third-person my car drive down a road. I have to direct it with my touch/gestures from above, and it become a little unstable a few times. I am sort of an entity within the third-person camera doing the gestures, if that makes sense. Eventually I just start driving like crazy and crash into cars, hop over them, am kicking up dust. There's one section of the road that curves in two places, I have to zoom in to decide. Then I kick up dust all around and I'm pretty much just figure-8-ing the car around the desert. There's a humongous cardboard box which I run into.

2x1 + 2x.5 = +3 => 141.5

12-13

Dream: In a forest with F and D. I'm laying treats along the right-side path for D to follow and go through. For some reason, it's a competition where I have to lead D through his path and then do my own path as well. Once I finish D's path with him (he isn't great at it) I go to a small dock/pavillion/gazebo where I guess I have to cross to get to my path. There are all of these fuzzy caterpillars arranged like spiders crawling over the area I have to duck under/back through to get to my path. I'm really grossed out but eventually forced to touch them and find out they're not the stinging kind (maybe F shows me?). I back through and wake up.

Dream: I'm in 9 with F's grandma (G) and little cousin (L), we're planning a party for L and I bought her a paintbrush. G is asking me to host a party or something in this room and I said fine and she said everyone else will have to pay $50 which is a great honor but I don't have to pay it. There's a big crooked cardboard pink box with a weird shape protruding from the top, which I assume is G's present for L sitting out in the open, unwrapped. L keeps asking what the logo for Walmart is, and I don't want to tell her because in the top-right corner of the box it's there, and I guess I don't want her to know her present came from walmart? Doesn't make a lot of sense because the other side says "Shipped from Walmart" in clear black Impact font letters, just upside down (maybe she can't read upside down).
Dream transition to the kitchen area and I notice a roach or two on the mantle. Then I realize they're everywhere. It was dark before but now it's morning. I try to find some shoes to kill them with and when I look down I realize there are roaches and beetles everywhere, on the floor, couch, etc. I ask my dad for his shoes as I back towards the garage door. He says I'll be fine, they can't hurt you. The smaller beetles are approaching me now, one of them the size of an adolescent turtle has a white spot where his shell by his face peeled off. There are now beetles the size of those old exercise platforms that you step on and step off from. They have two pincers and a protruding element. Each time I look away and look back, it looks more metal/mechanical. My dad is putting his foot and ankle in between the pincers and the protruding part and showing me that "they don't hurt you" but really he's just moving his ankle out of the way at the last second.

Dream: In 9 LR again at night, room is mostly empty and I'm working onn the floor with F on some christmas dioramas on construction paper platforms. I can't remember now what the first few were of, but after doing a few she's mad at me. I get up and get some wooden train tracks (the traditional kind that fit together) and a wooden train (which looks pretty beat up). Two of the four tracks are painted, one red, one blue. I offer to paint the other ones and she gets angrier. I close the drapes on the sliding glass door but she wants them open, and she opens them back up, although they part from the middle when she does it whereas in real life they all pull from one side. D is looking out the window. She's still very mad at me when I bring her some red corrugated construction paper for the last diorama.

Fragment: Hospital w/ F?
Fragment: 9 backyard? Serious w/ family?

Had a few near-WILD experiences during this period despite doing no daywork and no MILD, only did SSILD after the WBTB briefly. I did take a vitamin B12 before bed (around 10 but didn't fall asleep till 11). WBTB (where I actually got up and walked around) 5:30 till 6:30, woke for good at 7:35.

Lucid #73: I'm in a huge mall or college bookstore area, yellow light. The dream part went on for a while but at a certain point I round a corner and see F. She's wearing something low-cut and holding a book. I notice some freckles that aren't accurate and become lucid! The first thing I said, for some reason, was "this is our dream!" I don't remember why I did this, but it seemed to empower her as a DC to be happier/less distressed; maybe it was just my own perception of her informing this. In any case, we talk for a while, but because I kept diving in this lucid chain instead of writing these down in between, I don't remember now about what. Eventually I led her outside to a campus student union/cafeteria area. I picked her up in my arms and I told her I was taking her to my incubated dream world (I called it something weird which I wish I remembered now). I spun for maybe 10-20 seconds but it didn't help much except to stabilize a bit. I ended up just looking at her for a while, and she was just smiling so big. Probably the single most wholesomely gratifying LD experience so far.

Lucid #74: I'm in a small cramped room, blue light. I'm with F again, leading her by the hand. We pass through another room with clutter and junk all around and I see a medusa-like woman who's covered in snakes, all green-black. She starts to chase us but I become lucid and send her away from us, not via force push or anything, but just by will. She is moved (not pushed) back against the wall, and I will her to phase through/into the wall (I figured if I can do it, so can DCs). She does, and it looks super wobbly and cool. But now all of the sudden I can hear a heartbeat sound coming from the walls. I don't worry about it and remind myself that I'm in control. I take F upstairs and we sit on a strange chair in an 8-like living room. We talk again for a bit, more serious this time than joyous. I ask her what I should get her for christmas. She says the earrings I got her were good but I should "double down"? We talk about a few other things which I've forgotten now, and for some reason when we're talking she keeps switching sides and talking at my back; it's sort of like we're in back-to-back seats in a round booth, and I keep turning one way and she'll turn the other. The heartbeat is mostly faded but I woke anyway.

Lucid #75: This one was a DEILD. I "came to" standing over a bed in a dark attic room. There was another snakelike monster in the bed, this time smaller like a large-dog-sized roly poly I guess. Since I was instantly lucid I had no fear and came at the thing face first to watch it shrink away. It shrunk in size and kept backing up and I put my hand on it and transformed it into D, but a smaller version. Then I told D to follow me (he was grey in this version since he originated as a snake monster). I was trying to find F but couldn't. Something happened for a while in this one but I lost it.

Lucid #76: This one started as a DEILD but I guess I lost lucidity during the transition and it became a dream where I was being informed by detectives that my teenage daughter was murdered. They took me to the spot where she was murdered (the outside of my apartment where I walk my dog) and I became lucid. I forgot all about the plot and was just energized by the actions of my previous dreams where I talked to F, especially when I asked about the Christmas present -- it was just really exciting that I spontaneously did something like that. This is important for two reasons I can think of: I woke with an enormous sense of elation/gratitude, and also I remembered not only WL memories within this dream, but also dream memories from a previous dream! Anyway because of all of this I started running victoriously towards these humongous trees (they were more like tree-bark vines reaching up maybe 20 stories, like a skyscraper). I was so happy that when I felt the moisture on some of the leaves I thought of rain, and it started raining! It felt so real, it was amazing. At first I was lifting myself with my arms only, but then I thought about it and started using my legs too. I looked down and up at the huge expanse of the trees and the rain and it was just an exhilarating experience.

Lucid #77: Semi-DEILD. It wasn't instant but I did definitely "slip back" in a way. I tried to materialize something and eventually I got up very sloppily (my control was off due to awareness of WL body in a weird position). I walked to the bathroom and it reminded me of the opening scene of the 6th or 7th HP book with Harry's vision of Nagini biting the man in the room. There were two guys with country accents talking here. Woke up.

Lucid fragments: heard music at one point; felt grief? maybe there was at one point an older man giving me advice; possibly during #75 I turned a small square section of either a being (snake being) or a piece of wood (bedpost?) into a flashlight.

3x1 + 2x.5 +
10 (first LD) + 5 (DILD) + 2 (WBTB) + 4x5 (other LDs) +
15 (personal goal*)
= +56 => 99.5

Running total: 99.5

* Change the weather to make it rain while already lucid