Recurring theme/ LD but i cant wake myself up! :(

Hi all, newbie here - i intially posted this in the intro thread but found this one so thought i would post here instead! ... I need some help understanding my dreams, which are ALWAYS the same, these dreams are lucid generally in the early morning, i know i am dreaming but i cant wake up and i cant stop the dream - so in essence, i don’t want to experience the LD!

Sorry for the long post but they are starting to trouble me and i was hoping for some other peoples opinions!

I have recurring dreams that my partner is cheating on me, we have had problems in our relationship, 2 main incidents on separate occasions that involved 2 other women. These 2 characters often appear in my dreams and seem to reflect the trust issues I have in real life – although in my dreams my partner is cheating on me by sleeping with other women, however in real life, this did not happen. These characters appear in my dreams on a regular basis, sometimes even together.

However the dreams can vary, my partner is always cheating on me, and this can be with multiple women in one dream or with just on. Sometimes the characters are completely insignificant and I have no idea who they are, sometimes I know who they are but they don’t physically reflect that person in real life. In each dream I always catch him in the act, I am distraught and always confront him, however his reaction is the same every time, he doesn’t care, he simply shrugs his shoulders and gets on with what he was doing, he sometimes will apologise but his apology is never sincere. I often experience feelings as being inadequate and ask people in the dream ‘what’s wrong with me – why am I not good enough’. I often feel isolated and with no one to talk to in my dreams, I never have a support figure and feel very alone.

My partner is also very hard to reach in my dreams, it seems that the only contact I have with him is catching him cheating on me and when I try to speak with him after that I can never reach him or something will stop me from communicating with him. The dreams feel very real and I wake up in tears sometimes unsure of what is real and what is not. I am left hating my partner in the morning because I am still experiencing the feelings of betrayal upon awakening.

Other than the above recurring dream I tend not to remember my dreams other than nightmares and it is starting to concern me. I often wake in the middle of the night sweating and crying and always find myself falling back in to the same dream when I try to get back to sleep. I understand that the dreams are a reflection of my insecurities that my partner has betrayed my trust in the past however these incident occurred years ago and I don’t understand why they haunt me almost every night and what they actually mean? I have tried to speak to my partner about the dreams but he is not much of a 'talker' and gets very uncomfortable and avoid the subject, I would appreciate any advice on the above!