Thread: A reoccuring dream, the car and the boy

I remember a dream I had as a child, a reoccurring dream. I would call it a nightmare but having had some absolutely terrifying dreams at other times in my life I would not call it a nightmare by comparison but more of a frightening experience that I got to experience a multitude of times.

It always began the same way; my mother was driving her car, a little yellow bomb as we called it in our family. I was in the back seat in the middle; she was just doing chores driving to a shop to buy stuff. The details of the shopping wasn’t important, the rest was based on truth. She would often take me shopping with her and she did have a yellow car which I would be seated in the middle at the rear of the car as I was too young to sit up front.

The perspectives of this dream would change as it played out, kind of like it was a television show that I was watching, the camera work was the same every time. A wide shot of the car driving down a hill and stopping at the bottom. I could see the street and the shops, the car and my mother in the front seat with me in the back; I was separate from the scene, an audience member at this point. The street was unrealistic, like a child’s drawing, a hill that was like a giant letter ‘U’ and the shop she was going to was always at the bottom off the ‘U’, I had no fear in driving down the steep road as this was common and nothing was out of the ordinary at this point, despite the unrealistic setting. The shot would change and I would now be in the car, like a passenger seated next to me, watching my mother get out of the car and telling me to stay put, that she would only be a minute or two and then lock the car and enter the shop.
This happened every time, ‘stay put and be a good boy’ she would say and I would watch her leave. As bad as that might sound , it was not a fearful event as I did not see it as being abandoned, I know that in real life I would occasionally be left in the car with my older sister watching me while mum went into the bank or did some brief thing of two to five minutes. The frightening element of this dream occurred once she left.

The car, becoming animate somehow, would begin rocking back and forth slowly. This would continue as it gained momentum, rolling back up one side of the steep hill only to roll forwards and climb a little higher up the opposite side of the hill. Back and forth gaining height and speed, all the while my character would cry and panic as I was unable to know what would happen, I wasn’t staying put, the car was trying to steal me and there was nothing I could do about it. I remember as the audience passenger I would try shouting to the character of me to do something, to get out of the car, to escape but my words came out silent and had no effect on the actions of the panicked, frightened me. Try as I might to change the situation, the car rolled back and forth until it would eventually get enough momentum to roll over the peak of the hill in front of me and drive away from my mother in the shop. When this happened the dream would conclude and I would wake up in the same frightened and panicked state as in the dream.
It terrified me and I can remember times where I was afraid to go to sleep as the reoccurrence of the dream had become so regular I feared every night, when my eyes closed, they would open again on the scene of the little yellow car driving down the steep hill on its way to the shops at the bottom.

I can’t say when or even how long this dream reoccurred in my sleep but as I said it happened enough to give me cause to fear falling asleep. The reason I say I don’t compare this reoccurring dream to a nightmare is that, over time it changed bit by bit. As I was paranoid about having this dream I had begun to develop a habit falling asleep with plans to get out of the car. I can’t remember them specifically but I can remember trying unsuccessfully, to unbuckle my seatbelt. I can remember when this failed I tried to slip out of it still buckled in, this was difficult as it was rather tight but after several more dreams I actually managed to shimmy out of the belt and was free in the back seat although this provided little change except for the extra freedom to move around the back of the car.

Over several more attempts, I recall clawing at the window, trying to unlock the door which refused to move; perhaps my childish fingers were not nimble or strong enough to manipulate the lock. The next several dreams had me trying to wind down the window, the handle refusing to budge likely for similar reasons as the lock. As each new change occurred within the dream it became part of the dream itself so that every time I had the dream I could shimmy out of the seatbelt and fiddle with the lock and the window. These changes made no difference to the panic and fright I would experience but a sense of confidence began to build within the audience part of me, the character of me didn’t seem to change and would remain panicked and frightened.

As the car from this dream was real I actually recall that at a young age I was not able to unlock the doors or unwind the windows. I don’t think it is a big leap to assume that this may be why I couldn’t do either of those things within the dream. The small differences that I could make to the dream continued over the years and despite being paranoid about having the dream each night was still upon me, I no longer fought the urge to fall asleep having somewhat come to terms with it being a dream and concluding that the quicker I fell asleep the sooner it became the next day and the dreams hold on me would end. I can’t say if it continued until I learned to open car doors and unwind windows but one night when I was about five years old I brought the dream to an end. I don’t know if it was because of all the experience I’d had with the dream or the confidence I had developed being the audience and subject of the dream but one night it ended permanently and the only thing I am certain of within this mad abstract dreamscape that refused to leave me alone was, I made it end.

Everything happened as normal, yellow car drives down the hill, mum leaves after telling me to wait, and the car starts to roll back and forth trying to drive off with me in it. I knew I could get out of the seatbelt and so I did. I knew I could unlock to door and so I did. Strangely enough I didn’t open the door but I knew I could wind down the window and, taking hold of the rather stiff window handle and putting all my strength into it, I did. The last thing I did which I had never before done within the dream was, I climbed out the window and jumped to the footpath. I can remember standing on the footpath for a moment watching the car. I was still the audience watching myself, watching the car but I was out of the car. The car took off as if it didn’t need any momentum this time, it just sped off over the hill, everything was different as if the dream itself didn’t know what to do, as if it had never prepared the visual information for this to happen, the angles and camera shots seemed to move back and forth trying to settle on an appropriate shot. I remember I turned and faced the shop where mum went. I opened the door to the shop, it was just darkness on the other side, the shop seemed like a backdrop on an old movie set, I could see the façade of the shopfront but with nothing else to do, I walked through it into the black and closed the door behind me I woke up, calm but confused. I never had that dream again after that night.

That is all true although it is long passed, I was just interested in hearing any responses anyone has to any of it. I am also interested to know if anyone has had any similar stories or re-occurrences?