How common is it, to get a dream like this of someone who's died?

Please forgive me if this is the wrong place to ask.

I get this recurring dream of my father, who's passed away in real life.

The thing is, in the dream, there's this understanding of he's always back from the dead but it's this wrong feeling, like he's half-dead, half alive, not like when a loved one who's passed visits in a dream.

It's hard to explain but it's not a good dream.

It's like in the dreamworld he's still in our life, but I know, in the dream, that he's not alive, and it's almost like this bad feeling like "but we buried him! Why is he back?" and this wrong feeling, and like he's woken up from his coma but it's too late, and even in the dream the last time I had it, I said "I wish he would just either be completely dead, or completely alive!" and I felt bad afterward saying it in the dream... but it's this terribly frustrating, unsettling dream where he shouldn't be there.

It's kind of ghostly, a dark dream, he's not really saying or doing anything, he's just "back." Does this make sense? Does anyone have any insight, is this a common dream with someone who's passed away?

Hi Sierra,
I'm really new to the forum too so it's nice that we're not alone!
I can't share too much insight on how common it is to have these dreams, but I do know that I have them too. I have recurring nightmares where my grandma is alive again and I know that she should be dead-- although I soon become too involved in the dream to care. She doesn't speak, although she is able to interact with the environment, i.e. drive and walk. It is extremely confusing, unnerving and just horrible overall. I'm sorry that you have the same type of dream.
I have a feeling that we have these dreams because the traumatic event was entirely out of our control and so our minds struggle to cope with the experience. Again, I do understand how terrible the dreams are and I'm so sorry that you have to relive something like that. I do have questions for you though, does your dad die again in the dream? In every one of my nightmares, I have to watch my grandma die in some way. Also, what age were you when it happened? I think age might make a difference in our ability to properly cope with death, resulting in these dreams.

Hi Aerin, thanks so much for responding! It does help to know I'm not alone, though I'm really sorry you have this unsettling dream too. I'm sorry about your grandma.

My dad doesn't talk in my dream either, just stands there in certain locations such as at the side door outside our house, or in the hallway upstairs entering the living room.

It makes sense what you said about our minds trying to sort out the traumatic event. My dad has never died again in the dream... I'm so sorry to hear that happens in your dream. That would make it even scarier. My dad's coma was sudden (I was 19 and had just gone away to college, he was at work that morning and stopped breathing at the doctor's due to a throat obstruction) but the coma itself was a few days, so rather than die again in the dream he sometimes goes back into his coma/"asleep"/underground... I don't know if that relates to how it happened at all. What you said about age makes sense too.

There is a saying that in Death, the veil is lifted to reveal the truth. Everything that was hidden will be shown, so in essence a dead person cannot speak a lie and will only tell the truth. If the dream is recurring, it is important for you to ask the dead spirit what it wants. If they do not speak, pay attention to what they are doing as they will usually be guiding you to do something for them, for yourself, or for others. Peace