(long) Nightmares every night, I need help.

**breaxthe** · 02-20-2016 11:49 PM

Hi, I need some help as to why I might be experiencing nightmares every single night, and what's going on with my dreams and me while I'm asleep. This is also all very complicated.
This has been happening ever since October 19, 2015, the day that I got out of the Mental Health Institution Hospital for suicidal ideation and depression. I'm not traumatized by this event at all, and though I have severe depression, this isn't the cause of my nightmares because I have been severely depressed for four years. The nightmares are different every time, and I barely remember them days after they happen, I can only remember glimpses or what they were generally about and relate that to the fear that I felt while waking up.
All of the dreams are extremely realistic, sometimes to the point that my brain has the memory of the nightmare, but doesn't relate that memory to a dream, I think that it actually has happened, and if the dream had someone in it, I find myself talking to them about it asking if it happened or not, or talking about it with them as if it had actually happened, at which point they tell me it didn't and I realize it was a dream.
Also, while I am dreaming, I can feel different feelings while I'm asleep in my body, such as anxiety, fear, and the feeling of someone watching me. It's not my dream self that is feeling these, it's in my normal body (don't know any other way to put that). I am actually experiencing the feeling in real life while the dream is going on and I can feel it going on as I am asleep.
Also, the way you talk to yourself in your head as you go throughout your day when you're awake, I can do as I'm asleep. It is not my dream self thinking, because I'm talking to myself in my head while the dream is going on, and my dream self is continuing to do other things. I will talk to myself about how I am having a nightmare, and that I should make an attempt to wake myself up, things like that. I know it isn't my dream self doing this "think talking". It's hard to explain well.
My nightmares also connect to other dreams that I've had. They are not reoccurring, they are only connected in tiny simple ways. Such as, someone I'm having a conversation with will speak of something that's happened in another dream, or I'll revisit a place that I've been, but the same things that happened in the earlier dream do not happen, making these non-reoccurring. Even if I forgot the dream that I had before, I will remember it when the memory of the place or the event that is being talked about is brought up. Just like when you'd forgotten something, and someone starts talking to you about it, maybe saying "remember when?", and you remember it because it was brought up. I will then wake up having remembered the original dream due to the memory being brought up, or I will be talking to myself in my head as the dream is going on, remembering the dream that I was just slightly reminded of.
For example of that, I had a dream that I revisited an abandoned house with friends, that was now boarded up. My friends and I talked in the dream saying that it was now boarded up because someone had found out that people had been there before, which would be from the time we went in the first dream this house appeared in.

Sometimes when the dreams are so bad, I have a very strong will to pull myself out of them, and I will be able to. Although, there have been several times where I've tried, and failed, though I thought I pulled myself out, because I have a false awakening. Or, I pull myself out of the dream, and not be able to stay awake and fall asleep again, and the nightmare will either continue from the spot it left off, or I'll be in a completely different nightmare. Sometimes I will have nightmare after nightmare broken by either the short awakenings or false awakenings. I had nine in a row broken by those one time, and the other most significant time, it happened more than nine times. At which point I will have a very strong urge to pull myself out and immediately sit up after waking up, refusing to fall back asleep.

Little bit about what's currently going on for possibilities as to why this is happening:
I'm 15, out of school, home all the time, rarely spending time with friends, only one friend of 10 years who is homeschooled as I was, he is home all the time.
I interact with my family and animals all the time, and Skype with my boyfriend (45 min. away) all the time as well. I deal with insomnia problems, anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts. Not on any antidepressants anymore (tried 4 already) because they increase my suicidal thoughts a bunch. Prescribed Atarax for sleep which doesn't work anymore (been on it for 2-3 years), I take Xanax (prescribed) for anxiety and to help me fall asleep. I go to counseling. I'm very stable despite how depressed I am, for I've dealt with it for 4 years myself, been friends with a LOT of depressed people over the years, and dealt with it for 2 years before depression hit me with my sister. Have health issues that I won't get into that wouldn't be causing nightmares. Stressed out a bunch for no good reason, very unstable sleeping pattern. The nightmares were sudden and unexpected, seem to be caused for no reason. Even if I've had a great day, they still come. Completely different every time. I'm just looking for some answers or someone to talk to that's experienced what I am experiencing or something similar. If you've read all this, thank you so much.

**dolphin** · 02-21-2016 01:04 AM

breahxe!

Sorry about your situation! That sounds like no fun at all. I hope I can help!

You could have experienced a series of nightmares after you got out of the hospital for any number of reasons. This series probably started a snowball effect of subconscious expectation that you'll have a nightmare, the snowball growing with each one.

I recommend a change of mindset as to how you approach sleep. First, set a game plan for how you will deal with a nightmare if it occurs. Rather than waking up from it and repressing it for another night, try to stand up to the nightmare. Show it you aren't scared, anxious, depressed, or are showing any other negative emotion. Instead, try to fill it with positivity as much as you can while at the same time, trying to find a root cause of it which you could resolve in the dream.

Before you go to bed, try to settle your worries and anxieties the best you can. After that, fall asleep trying to maintain calm, happy thoughts while expecting good dreams.

This way, if you have nightmares, you are prepared to deal with them in a constructive manner while becoming mentally stronger in the process. If you have happy dreams, you have happy dreams. This will create a win-win situation for you which will help you deal with this situation.

**cooleymd** · 02-21-2016 01:35 AM

Without knowing what your nightmares are about its hard to say what to do, only about <1% of my dreams would be classified as nightmares. Sure lots of hoodlums show up in my dreams and mess with me or my stuff but that generally turns out to be more of a nightmare for them than for me.

So for me nightmares would be more like some problem in life blown out of proportion in a dream, like some super virus infecting my work computer or something.

If you were having the typical child nightmare of being chased by monsters, the answer would be easy. "They can't chase you if you don't run, turn and face them" but how do you face some nightmare topics that don't fit the bill.

In general for lucid dreams nightmares are an advantage but not if they don't recur in such a way as to let you easily know your dreaming. For those with little to no skill in dreaming the best answer would be if you did realize it to wake up, for those with skills that would be the worst result.

If your not ready to embrace the chance to become an experienced dreamer by taking on your dreams (or can't) then Dolphins advice of before sleep preparation might be a good one, thinking things like 'dreams are imaginary', or 'I'm safe in my dreams' as you go to bed.

But another approach might be to take advantage of the mechanisms that allow us to forget our dreams. Most people only remember the most provoking and vivid dreams they have and then perhaps only a few a month or even a year, but with nightmares the chance to remember is high of course. Just as you allude to remembering things from dreams (and not necessarily being aware they are from the dream) can create false memories (its a risk of dream recall). So take advantage of just the opposite of what dream recall is about. Set up an audio alarm of all the things you need to do the next day and when your alarm goes off, have this list saying things like 'change cat box, buy milk, check mail box, wash hair, ...' who knows actually having made this list of the next days worries might even begin to help with insomnia, by knowing you won't have to think of them as you fall asleep because they will all be right there bright and early. But the point will be that when you wake up, you will be listening to all the things in real life, and your automatic dream eraser will kick in (as it usually does) and start wiping out your dreams.

Maybe find some other dream view members who have experience with facing nightmares tho and then tell them what the nightmares are about so they could provide actual solutions different from the 'stand yer ground against monsters' approach that might actually be applicable.

Barring all this, I view the functions of dreams to be either to consolidate memories, or to function as a threat simulator. The latter case would seem to be the cause of many nightmares, as opposed to the sorry hoodlums in my dreams as I test out my simulated responses on them. But in either case perhaps trying to analyze the reason for the nightmares and resolve the causes of the dreams could be beneficial (not that I'm much on dream analysis), but again that would be something for others with actual nightmare resolutions that have worked for them.

**breaxthe** · 02-21-2016 02:12 AM

Thank you so much for this. I'll try this, thank you!

**cooleymd** · 02-21-2016 07:40 AM

A note of caution on the wording of what you tell yourself as you fall asleep

Your subconscious mind might not pay exact attention to the words, so you should choose them carefully

For instance if I set an intention like 'Victoria Secret Angles', in a dream I find my self walking across a parking lot full of undies and thinking someone really should clear this up. But in particular some people claim that you should never use negatives in your mantra.

For instance you might think these mean exactly the same thing "Dreams are Imaginary" = "Dreams aren't Real"
like wise you might think that the mantras "I'm safe in my Dreams" = "Monsters can't Hurt Me"

but what if your subconscious picks them up as "Dreams are Imagery" vs "Dreams ARE Real"
like wise "I'm safe in a Dream" vs "Monsters CAN Hurt"

I certainly don't want to join the huge positivist crowd around here that think a little positive thinking and your an instant lucid dreaming pro. But, clearly the positive messages are much less likely to be misinterpreted, especially if you don't really believe what your saying, and your subconscious is predisposed to the opposite