So for the past several years I have been having dreams of my middle school best friend and crush. I'll call him Blue, because it's the internet and I'm paranoid lol. He lived down the street from me and we spent a lot of time together, but always as best friends. We crushed on each other, but at different it was like timing never aligned. Fast forward, I moved to a completely different city and for the most part we stopped talking. We hung out briefly after I broke up with my first boyfriend, but again...never romantic. Always just as friends. My junior year of high school, I started dating who would become my husband...soon to be ex husband. For whatever reason, Blue was always to a point, in the back of my mind. It really bugged me, because I madly loved the man I was with. We got married...and sadly I discovered he had pretty much been cheating on me the entirety of our relationship, which has been over 7 years. During my relationship with my husband, I started having dreams about Blue. Not inappropriate, just emotional. I would wake up drenched in emotion. And most times, I wouldn't even remember the dream, just the emotions and colors. I felt really guilty having these dreams and tried pushing him out of my mind. Even when my husband and I were in a seemingly good place, these dreams would occur. I thought coud it be my subconcious trying to compensate for the issues in my marriage? But they just continued and continued. One specific one I remember was just.. a lot of things were in water color texture. And then it was just me in the neighborhood I used to live...walking to his house in the cold and snow all bundled up...and then him walking towards me...I Then just like pictures of the woods by our neighborhood we used to play in. I again, woke up drenched in emotion. Some have had story lines, but most not. Just montages of us as kids playing. My other thought was...well I was being sexually abused by my ex stepdad at the time we were friends and maybe subconciously I just felt safe with him and as I work to heal, he will just pop up. I really don't know. But then, the night after the water color and snow dream (which in my mind felt like it lasted like 5 hours) he messaged me on fb hours later! I hadn't spoken to him in over 3 years and the last time I did it was to get his address for my wedding invite. It was just about my opinion on politics, but it was still random and weird with the timing. Then a few weeks later I finally got the guts to separate from my husband...I moved in with my mom for a week, which is the same city he lives. My brother still lives in the same neighborhood as he does..and when we took him home he was driving right in front of us. I know they live in the same neighborhood but what are the odds? So my question is...are these dreams some serendipitous phenomenon or am I subconciously craving something missing within myself, or am I just crazy?