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    1. #1
      Join Date
      Apr 2018

      Nightmares upon nightmares!!

      A noise downstairs, a face staring through the window, screaming loud enough but no body hears..

      This is not a start of a gripping horror novel.. this is only part of what happens to me every night.


      I am 25 soon to be 26 this week, I have a diagnosis of anxiety and a non diagnosis of OCD, I am particular, obsessive and never experienced a panic attack until I purchased my own house... its now down hill from here. I have been in my new home for 4 weeks and now the night mares are so unbearable I have tears in my eyes as I type this, panic takes over and every noise can be heard. To me, I feel as though I am going crazy and because I can't trust my dreams, I wake up blurred and disorientated like I no longer trust being awake. Every noise to me is in the house every time I look up to me I see a face, minds eye making it more harder to see without something in the corner trying to scare me at any moment. Is this normal? Because right now I fear I have lost the plot entirely.

      Day one.

      It started only a few days ago, I have always suffered with bad dreams, but this one started the rest of them off. The dream was simple, unlike anything i have ever known before however. In a room filled with all the things i worry about that I shouldn't, a thousand chipped table legs spinning all around me, noises throughout the house, a window without curtains so the whole world can look in and there it was, my ultimate fear, a face in the window that was also a clown with huge teeth playing out the whole dream. i screamed so hard that night i woke up. it was the only one i managed to wake myself up from. this dream may not sound like an absolute nightmare to some. but to me it just started it.

      day two.

      i feel disorientated still after the last dream, i am still not sure after nearly 5 weeks being in my new home that I am used to being here. my room is not stressful, i love my bed, tonight i would revisit a dream from a few days ago, however when i was there the first time, the sheep were alive and all the animals were well and looked after, tonight i returned to a bloody mess, dead sheep and animals everywhere a wolf had got in and killed them all, blood and guts were all over the place and there was a tent with blood marks and holes ripped into it where more animals were dead inside. 2 days ago i was here. 2 days ago everything was alive. i found some animals that were still alive and took them as far as i could up the hill, in my dream i owned the land it was new to me, but it was all the way up a hill and i couldn't get back down on my own, I was stuck.

      This dream frightened me more, i have had one similar to this before, a hill, a house, animals. The first time i went there the horses were fine, i looked after them in stables and in fields on the hill and the house not far off in the corner. The next time? the horses were dead, those that weren't were in stables that were dirty with no food or water , all the horses laid on the field and when i went to the house? 2 dead people lay in bed up the stairs in the bedroom.

      day three.

      its now the third day in, today. I am in bed starting a 12 day holiday period from work for my birthday, I don't want to turn 26, which is making me feel like maybe my anxiety towards this is making me have these nightmares, who knows. Today i feel worse than ever, I'm struggling this morning to get out of bed through fear of last nights dream, as though i have lived all this before. i was always told that if you bite yourself in your dream and it doesn't hurt then it isn't real, and maybe this last dream is more of a lucid one, but it felt real.

      Im in bed, my boyfriend beside me, this one i can't remember much, but i know how i felt here, scared, paranoid, alone, i had just woken up from a nightmare that i can't remember, my boyfriend wakes up too and theres noises in the house, the door opens and the lights come on from downstairs, shadows dance around the room from the curtainless window, the street lamp outside turns the branches into dancing fingers on the walls, metal noises come from downstairs as though someone is in the house, my boyfriends face twists into someone else that isn't real, can't be real, can it be real? it feels so life like but when i bite myself it doesn't hurt, its not real, but the fear is too real and i scream and scream to try and wake myself up, but i can't, I know I'm dreaming and i can't stop it, body heavy and i just lay there in my dream scared in a deep sleep until my boyfriend wakes me up for real to go to work and I'm still scared even now, for what i thought was real life turned out to be a dream and it takes me longer each day to come around to the fact that now i am awake, actually awake not fake awake.

      I need help, but don't know how to get it. Tips and advice would be great, I have gotten myself so paranoid that i am loosing my mind that I fear i have. I know this may sound like not much to some, but Please help

    2. #2
      It Was A Flood Achievements:
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      Hey, first off: everything is fine.

      It sounds like you're dealing with varying degrees of anxiety and stress, which often manifest in nightmares. It's often easy to get caught in a cycle - a nightmare causes stress and anxiety, stress and anxiety causes another nightmare and so on. I think it's pretty important that you try to understand and control your anxiety. It sounds as though you've got a few things going on that deserve some time and energy to try and understand. Maybe set some time aside and make a list of things that are bothering you or causing you anxiety and then spend half an hour thinking about why they're doing that, how you can resolve them etc.

      Best of luck. I really hope things look up for you soon!

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