Thread: Bad aura and lonlyness

I doubt this is actually the case, but you reminded me of a time in a class I was in that the teacher (who was a female) and many of the girls claimed that they gets vibes from pretty much everyone they see. They said what vibes they got from a few different people, including me, with relative accuracy. I can't say I really get vibes from people, all I ever see is their body language and I also take into account what I know about them. Without knowing them, I only have body language to go by, which is often times ambiguous. Basically what it seemed, though, was that girls seem to pick up on vibes a lot more than guys (I wasn't the only guy to say they didn't really pick up on vibes people gave off). This seems somewhat preposterous when thinking about it, but I thought it was interesting nonetheless.

Anyway, to answer your question, perhaps this is a case where it is your body language that is giving you away. Quite often when I get angry but try and hide it both in my face and in my voice, people usually say something like "you look like you're going to slit somebody's throat." A good 50% of communication is made up of body language. It could also be your physical appearance(what you wear, your body, etc.) that scares/intimidates others.

Originally Posted by Osmodin

I have always been a lonely person. Often people I don't know seem to dislike me after i open my mouth. Its not that I am mean to others I try to be nice and treat them like I would want to be treated. Today at school something hit home inside me. A girl at school I was talking to wanted me to go away and when I asked why she told me with frightening accuracy that I just give off a vibe that says "I want to attack someone but I don't have the guts." Its as if she read my aura or could see right through me. I have always been in conflict with a bad temper and I have beaten someone up before for flicking my chest for the third time. I would not stand for his crap.

reading body language is a skill. people get very good at it. some people get paid to read body language. you were obviously giving off these "negative vibrations," or strained arms and tensed jaw or visual despair or any number of things. if you know how people act in certain situations, mind-reading gets easy. hell, I do it over the internet.

I sometimes want to hurt others over dumb reason but fight it out of fear for being like some of the animals in the prisons. I guess that explains the guts. Is it a bad aura that makes me lonely and scares people I just met away, if so how do i fix it? How that girl knew about what happens inside me ill never understand.

how do you fix wanting to hurt people for dumb reasons? stop wanting to fight people for dumb reasons. empathize with the person, and be conscious that your reasoning is stupid.

how do you stop scaring people away? fit in. be like them. be completely normal and never do anything weird or unusual. if you are exactly what everyone around you wants you do be, then they will like you. is that what you want?

I honestly understand where you are coming from on the wanting to fight people for dumb reasons too. I'm not saying to do this, I'm just letting you know, smoking weed honestly has stopped this problem for me. I've stopped smoking now for 2 weeks to get clean for a job, and I noticed it's happening again. I get pissed off at people for the stupidest reasons, sometimes no reason at all; it's possible they did nothing other than look at me (and not even wrong at that). Any alternative solution is to do what no-Name said, get very good at controlling your anger, or stay the same but never act on it (unless of course it is justified, e.g. they have already hit you in some way).

Of course people can read other people.. We're social animals.. We've evolved to be able to do this.. Anyone can do this instinctively.. If a person's sad, you'll know, right? If a person isn't feeling well, you'll know, right? If a person is worrying about something, you'll know, you'll know, right? Without even trying.. It's human nature...

EDIT:

So, basically, the only thing you CAN do is to change your insides.. If you change how you feel inside, and I mean really change, then you will see it on the outside as well. It's like a sad person getting happy again. Suddenly that person is smiling and the eyes are all sparkly again.
So, whatever you DO want to radiate, if you can just become that, you're A-okay.


FWIW,

Tim

It's not a bad aura that makes you do anything. If auras are a real thing then it is your own thoughts and actions that create the aura, not the other way around.

Just let go of whatever it is that makes you want to attack people. If someone is giving you shit, deal with it now, in the moment, don't carry it around with you and take your frustration out on other people/things.

Find something to do to help you chill out. I smoke weed, play music, meditate or exercise.

Try going into each situation you go into with happiness and enthusiasm, you might have to force yourself to do it at first, but really it's quite easy to do this.

Bad aura? I think you want this place.

Originally Posted by Osmodin

I have always been a lonely person. Often people I don't know seem to dislike me after i open my mouth. Its not that I am mean to others I try to be nice and treat them like I would want to be treated. Today at school something hit home inside me. A girl at school I was talking to wanted me to go away and when I asked why she told me with frightening accuracy that I just give off a vibe that says "I want to attack someone but I don't have the guts." Its as if she read my aura or could see right through me. I have always been in conflict with a bad temper and I have beaten someone up before for flicking my chest for the third time. I would not stand for his crap. I sometimes want to hurt others over dumb reason but fight it out of fear for being like some of the animals in the prisons. I guess that explains the guts. Is it a bad aura that makes me lonely and scares people I just met away, if so how do i fix it? How that girl knew about what happens inside me ill never understand.

Whelp...eventually you will be out of parent's house and in the real world. At that point you will learn to change or you won't be able to maintain a job or a relationship, and will end up that bearded homeless guy screaming at people from the underpass.

Teenagers do this. They're too much in their own head, because they have no real control over their lives. And being in their own head they focus on negative things, and they get depressed. Then the way they act and speak reflects this depressed state. And then they get depressed about being depressed, and the cycle gets worse. Not ALL of them do it, but the ones that don't aren't on the internet talking about how lonely they are.

You define who and what you are; you aren't stuck in a role. If you find that right now you are a lonely intravert you can either A) accept it, and stop being depressed about it, or B) change it. The important thing is that you take control. If you really don't like other people, embrace it, and stop feeling bad about it. Don't be a victim. Your "aura" or "vibe" isn't a piece of clothing you're being forced to wear. It's something you put off.