Unfortunately it's been too long since I've had a lucid dream. I quit trying a long while ago and for a year and a half would still experience randoms from time to time. I haven't had one for at least half a year, probably more. However, I've had 50ish in my time of trying (which I may begin to try again now that there is hope--no more smoking weed means I actually remember my dreams) and I still remember what it feels like. In fact, in the rare vivid dreams I get in which I can actually think and even sometimes control my actions despite not knowing I am dreaming, it feels pretty much the same way. I've only ever had one lucid in which my senses were at least as sharp as real life: my first WILD (though I have had many WILDs). This somewhat makes me envy those who say that when they dream it's more real than real life, that sensations seem to have more resolution all around. For me, it's like I'm almost totally at the disposal of my subconscious. I had very poor dream control yet did some things with ease that others described as challenging (such as flying, which I have been able to do since my first LD, though in a few rare cases flying forwards did not work so I had to fly backwards on my back, like backstroke in a pool). Unless especially lucid, it's almost like I see less than I feel. I feel the existence of everything and know it "exists" because of this. My vision normally lacks clear resolution, but I do not need to rely on it as much to perceive the world around me. Like many of my non lucids but to a (fortunately) much lesser extent, I seem to dream of many nonsensical things that seem perfectly normal to me. This is why I had nearly as many WILDs as DILDs because I could see the most crazy and nonsensical shit occur in a dream and not even begin to question that I am dreaming (most of my dreams I am more like an observer in, I don't usually think or feel anything complex, I get base emotions and somehow go through the actions). Sometimes in normal dreams I am not even a person at all even if I was one only seconds before, like I'm just an omniscient observer. Most of my dreams are about nothing in real life either, and almost entirely about people or things I've never met; but, I digress.
In lucids it is as though I am wandering in a land nearly totally out of my control where physics, time, and space can change at the snap of a finger, but not really at random... though unpredictable, usually. Sounds strange, but my dreams are strange. Usually (and I always forgot this save for a few times) the only way to get any modicum of control was to refer to myself as "we," in doing so making a clear effort to include my subconscious as part of myself. It seems there is a rather clear separation between the two, especially when dreaming. It might have something to do with having ADHD, only medical condition I have affecting neurotransmitters. Sometimes it felt as though me and the world around me (which I really just view as a representation of the subconscious itself because of how easily it changes) were very in tune, and other times obviously out of synchrony. It's an odd experience, being out of sync... like almost being rejected from the dream like a transplanted organ being attacked by the immune system. It isn't all that pleasant, I feel like the world around me and all its inhabitants don't want me there or that I simply don't "belong," like I am an unnatural abomination of sorts. I guess we have some issues to work out because any of the methods my friends have used for passive control via talking to dream characters (if there even are any, half the time there aren't) result in dream characters remaining totally ignorant to the fact that it's a dream. I guess the non-cooperative attitude means to say I should make more of an effort to communicate in a more dream appropriate way than language. It feels like a world that is highly volatile to change, though much more having to do with feeling than thinking. That's how the unbelonging works, it's almost entirely a feeling. I guess it's the subconscious' way of communicating, unadulterated concept transmission via causing feelings, infinitely more complex than simple emotional feelings (like sad, mad, happy, etc.). This, perhaps, accounts for my ridiculously poor memory while in a lucid (I couldn't even complete or begin to complete goals I had been setting out to do for 2 or 3 weeks). I'm somewhat confident though that this synchrony issue is really more of my conscious self's fault, because I do not properly know how to communicate or act in a dream. Guess I need a lesson in dream etiquette before I'm welcome. d:
edit: Sorry for the walls of text, but I'm about to add a little more. I forgot to mention one time I WILD'd, but all that happened was I was floating in a black abyss. It wasn't as though it were devoid of light though, or even looked black. It can only be described as black because there was literally no sensory input. It was as if I were floating, or maybe more flowing, in a sea of void. The surroundings were... soft and fluid like, but nothing like water or anything I've experienced. Where I was in space did not particularly matter, gravity and the like did not exist. If I simply willed to feel as though I were falling, I was falling, if I wanted to stop, I would go back to how I was before. It was like being a conscious part of a world that wasn't comprised of anything or that I simply could not perceive, but it didn't matter. It was almost like I was the void at the same time, but completely limitless and infinite in its boundaries yet totally secluded from anything like the real world. It was like a very private, yet vast realm neatly nestled in my mind. I was in this dream for what felt like five minutes, then I woke up.
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