Thread: let your past make you better, not bitter

A good way to live. I agree. If you dwell on the mistakes of your past, you will never be prepared for what the future holds.

Sometimes it's not mistakes you made in the past, but traumas. One childhood trauma for me being barely have any friends in school and living a transparent life where you are insignificant. So every time I meet people from that school now, I'll start shunning from them.

I guess we need to resolve issues from our past, or untie certain knots before we can start letting them aiding us in being a better person.

It can be tried, but as long as one cares about the truth, negative reactions to remembering events are inevitable. If something you value is hurt, you're going to be upset. Forcing optimism at this point, when it doesn't come naturally, I consider to be some form of lying to oneself. The exception is if you have a real reason to be optimistic despite whatever happened, look into your own psychology, discover there's nothing to really be upset about, that's fine. But that "Must be happy all the time, no sad thoughts, I'm so happy now" mindset is counterproductive.

And what about when the present sucks?

Originally Posted by ♥Mark

And what about when the present sucks?

Open another one? Kidding. I like to envision hardship as a tunnel, and remind myself that this, too, shall pass.

I like to imagine it more like a hole. Actually like a grave. My grave.

Originally Posted by ♥Mark

I like to imagine it more like a hole. Actually like a grave. My grave.

Oh c'mon, life can't be all that bad for you...?

I subscribe to the Bill and Ted philosophy

Originally Posted by Phion

Open another one? Kidding. I like to envision hardship as a tunnel, and remind myself that this, too, shall pass.

What if it never pass?

The ratio of sadness to happiness is too unbalanced in this world. I would rather live life not feeling a shit most of the time, with some sadness and happiness from time to time.

Originally Posted by Carrot

The ratio of sadness to happiness is too unbalanced in this world.

Happiness and sadness are in the mind though. With regards to the Western world, most of what makes us sad stems from how we perceive it. Suffering often stems from our endless habit of comparing our lives to those of others, when really what we have is more than enough.

It's like that corny American saying - when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.


- Is it obvious that I've been looking into Buddhism recently...

Originally Posted by moSh

Happiness and sadness are in the mind though. With regards to the Western world, most of what makes us sad stems from how we perceive it. Suffering often stems from our endless habit of comparing our lives to those of others, when really what we have is more than enough.

It's like that corny American saying - when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.


- Is it obvious that I've been looking into Buddhism recently...

My friend told me I have too many rotten lemons in my life.

It's not that bad. Just... I'm stuck.

Originally Posted by Carrot

My friend told me I have too many rotten lemons in my life.

It's not that bad. Just... I'm stuck.

Well acknowledging it is a positive step! It means you can then take action to better yourself. If something comes up in life that makes you upset, truly ask yourself why it is that it makes you feel that way, because, 9 times out of 10, you'll probably realise it's not as bad as you first perceive it to be.

For example, my family are moving house soon, and decided while I was still at the other end of the country at uni. That meant my sister got first choice of rooms, getting her the big one with the en suite bathroom! At first I was pretty disappointed, but then I asked myself, why am I really feeling this way?
I identified I was jealous, which is not an easy thing for most people to do. You don't want to believe that you have such ugly traits. But it meant I could then look at it more objectively, and I realised that it didn't matter that she had the better room - not only am I at uni half the year anyway, my sister would probably get more use out the extra space! I realised how petty the feeling was and took steps to not letting it get me down, which didn't take long at all.

Originally Posted by Carrot

What if it never pass?

The ratio of sadness to happiness is too unbalanced in this world. I would rather live life not feeling a shit most of the time, with some sadness and happiness from time to time.

A valid point, but if you're posting on the internet about being unhappy, chances are you could be a lot more unhappy.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

It can be tried, but as long as one cares about the truth, negative reactions to remembering events are inevitable.

I disagree with that part. Everything you say makes sense if that first sentence is true but it's not.

Negative reaction is simply a result of wanting reality to be something else. This can be beaten through meditation and it is very profitable to do so.

Having a positive attitude doesn't need to entail lying to yourself. It just needs to entail accepting reality for what it is and not wanting it to be something else. This also doesn't need to be complete surrender as you are accepting the past and the present for what they are while knowing that you will do anything within your power to make the future what you want. Also good to know that you won't get bent out of shape if that doesn't work out.

Induction can be a bitch.