Expectations tend to be subconscious, which is how it gets really tricky to look forward to something and delay gratification. In fact enough disappointment can create a strong reluctance to perform any activity involving delayed gratification. You'll stop trying, in other words. Lowering expectation also removes that burning motivation to accomplish tasks, defeating the purpose in working toward future goals to begin with.
But let's look at an example. Let's say you see something in a store and suddenly you want it. It fills you with a floaty feeling of desire. You can just imagine what your experiences would be like if you could just get your hands on that. You salivate with anticipation. Maybe it's a new bike, maybe a new TV, maybe a videogame. Whatever it is, the effect is the same. The moment you purchase it, you reach a peak of accomplishment. It almost feels like relief, you've finally got it now you can escape the pain of needing it. But the desire doesn't go away, it just finds something new to cling to. Now that you own the item, it no longer seems as important. Before you know it, you'll replace the desire and forget you ever wanted that thing so hard. In the moment, it felt like the only thing you could ever want. But it wasn't, it couldn't satisfy you.
It is true with everything. Let's say all you want in the world is to finish that book, and you do, and you smoke a joint and bask for a moment in total accomplishment. And that feeling subsides, and suddenly you need more again. Let's say all you want is for that girl you like to notice you. And then she does, and your mind quakes ecstasy each time she speaks to you and you're getting closer, everything is exciting, but now you just want a kiss. That's it, just one little kiss. And then you get that and it was perfect and life is amazing but you just want to sleep with her, that's it. Just one time. And you do. And you want to do it again, just one more time, and so you do. Before you know it you're married and barely capable of tolerating her and you wonder what happened to the times when your romance was so exciting. You were so caught up with getting the next thing, it all passed by you like a checklist. And if you'll notice, it's quite similar to a drug addiction. A drug addict does not think about their high ten days from now. They think about their next high. And they think if they could just get that next high, everything will be gravy. They can't anticipate that when that next high fades they'll need another after that. Our society is built off addiction. It depends on one fact: you can never, truly, be satisfied.
Buddhism teaches that desire causes suffering, but it's not desire we must snuff out in order to be happy little buddhists. It is attachment to desire. That attachment is what causes us to think we want just that one thing and then we'll be happy. Attachment to desire comes with it expectation of what the accomplishment will give us. More accurately, we expect that when we achieve a desire, we will feel a certain way. And we never, ever feel exactly how we expect to. Some say lower your expectations and you'll always feel pleasantly surprised, but like I said without high expectations the burning desire to actually accomplish something dissipates. High expectations fuel you with ambition. You just have to remember that your expectations will not be met, not exactly anyways, that doesn't mean you can't have them anyways. To a man belongs only his labor and never the fruit of it. This means the outcome of your action is out of your control, you only control the action. Rather than assume the outcome will be bad, or require it to be good, focus on what actually belongs to you, your actions, and stop worrying about results you can't control. Detach yourself from the outcome, but revel in the desire. Giggle when you ponder what could go right. Laugh at the marvelous possibilities that stand before you. Care enough to continue, but don't care so much you suffer over it. Anything could happen, so why live in the lack? You can find happiness now while working toward a goal, and it's as simple as asking yourself, "If anything could happen, why should I live in the lack rather than the possibility?"
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