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    Thread: Is honesty is the best policy?

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      Is honesty is the best policy?

      If you're honest about anything be it politics, religion, sexuality or meaningless conversation, is honesty really the best policy? I think it is and even though honesty may bring more negativity in the short term it certainly will be more beneficial in the long run. Right?
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      Please, call me Louai <span class='glow_008000'>LouaiB</span>'s Avatar
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      Yes, but it also depends on the other person. If you want to confess to someone a mistake you did, but he is ,lets say, violent person, and he will effect you negatively(I mean more than it should be), then lie. Also it depends on the issue itself. So, honesty might not be the best policy in some situations. Just my opinion
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      Answer: It depends.

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      if i were honest all the time i would probably be a beaten up bum. i lie to avoid conflict or get what i want, or sometimes to even get my point across. i work at a bank, can you imagine if i were totally honest with all the customers and my fellow employees? lol
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      Quote Originally Posted by tropicalbreeze View Post
      if i were honest all the time i would probably be a beaten up bum. i lie to avoid conflict or get what i want, or sometimes to even get my point across. i work at a bank, can you imagine if i were totally honest with all the customers and my fellow employees? lol
      I will never trust bankers again
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      I fill my heart with fire, with passion, passion for what makes me nostalgic. A unique perspective fuels my fire, makes me discover new passions, more nostalgia. I love it.

      "People tell dreamers to reality check and realize this is the real world and not one of fantasies, but little do they know that for us Lucid Dreamers, it all starts when the RC fails"
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      Yes, but it needs to be combined with good framing.
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      Quote Originally Posted by Replicon View Post
      Yes, but it needs to be combined with good framing.
      It can get tricky.
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      If being honest puts you or someone else in an extremely dangerous/unsafe situation, lie. Otherwise, yes, honesty is the best policy.
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      Doesn't have to be "extremely" dangerous..

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      Only a living flower will open to receive the sunlight

      Sometimes it is best to cloak the truth in metaphor..

      Or better yet, remain silent


      Lies are a rope with which one hangs oneself
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      I feel it's best to be honest as long as it doesn't hurt anybody.
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      Quote Originally Posted by Rums03 View Post
      If you're honest about anything be it politics, religion, sexuality or meaningless conversation, is honesty really the best policy? I think it is and even though honesty may bring more negativity in the short term it certainly will be more beneficial in the long run. Right?
      I think honesty is a decision one makes within themselves, and that decision does pay off in the long run because existing with an honest self is much simpler than with a dishonest self. That simplicity feels much more liberating and limitless because you can trust yourself/life more, and because the inner state of honesty is open to possibility...in my opinion.
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      Most of the time, yes. However, sometimes you have to lie. If a psycho comes up to me in a rage and asks me where my brother is because he wants to kick his ass, I'm lying to him. If a cop asks me if I have any weed in my car when I do, I'm lying about it. If somebody asks me a really nosy question about something I don't want him knowing about, the invasiveness of the question justifies my lie. Those are all justifiable lies. Some people are too evil to know the truth, and some people are too nosy to deserve to hear the truth. Lying just to play a joke is okay too. I also think lying to kids about the existence of Santa Claus is justifiable. However, ordinarily, I believe in being honest. People who lie unjustifiablly seem ridiculous to me, and I don't trust them. If somebody has lied to me out of shadiness, I think about it every time I talk to him.
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      Perception Observer Presence333's Avatar
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      I feel it is honest to remain silent in the situation with the psycho.

      In the cop situation I believe you have the right to remain silent.

      In the nosy person situation it's pretty easy to say that you don't want to answer the question.

      If you remain honest in that way it feels simpler; you can be real with the situation.
      To lie, even if there is a persuasive reason to do so, leads to a distinct feeling of unease.
      I feel that unease is because there is more power in truth than there is in deception.
      So by lying one subtly doubts one's own inner power that is connected to truth and honesty.
      Action is powerful in that sense. And to act from that place because fear compels it...it doesn't feel beneficial long-term.
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      I am going to deliberately deceive the psycho and the cop because more good will result from it. I will tell the psycho my brother is in some far away place so he will think he has gotten something out of me and then leave. Cops are necessary and do a lot of good, but I think the war on drugs is a crime against humanity. If I am asked if I have pot in my car when I do, I am not going to say I refuse to answer the question. That will result in my car getting searched. The Fourth Amendment doesn't really apply to automobiles any more. Deceiving the unjust is justifiable.
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      Quote Originally Posted by StephL View Post
      Answer: It depends.
      This.
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      I think honesty correlates with intimacy. The more you want to be close with someone, the more you have to be honest and the lies you make will just drive you away from them, however white the lies are.
      Also, I think that as a community we must live honest life (meaning, follow the law) just to keep the order intact.
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    18. #18
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      Quote Originally Posted by Occipitalred View Post
      I think honesty correlates with intimacy. The more you want to be close with someone, the more you have to be honest and the lies you make will just drive you away from them, however white the lies are.
      Also, I think that as a community we must live honest life (meaning, follow the law) just to keep the order intact.
      Yes.
      But, what if the partner wouldn't understand something, and being honest about it will only bring negative results?(Assuming you didn't do anything wrong)
      I fill my heart with fire, with passion, passion for what makes me nostalgic. A unique perspective fuels my fire, makes me discover new passions, more nostalgia. I love it.

      "People tell dreamers to reality check and realize this is the real world and not one of fantasies, but little do they know that for us Lucid Dreamers, it all starts when the RC fails"
      Add me as a friend!!!

    19. #19
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      Quote Originally Posted by LouaiB View Post
      Yes.
      But, what if the partner wouldn't understand something, and being honest about it will only bring negative results?(Assuming you didn't do anything wrong)
      Often, people underestimate what the other person is able to understand. If you don't tell them, they will never understand. If you tell them, they might and if they do, your relationship will become so much tighter. If they don't, there is two possible reasons.
      1. They are not worth it. They don't have the necessary compassion/empathy/understanding. You two don't fit together on that level of intimacy and that is why you could of not told them in the first place. You're not close enough.
      2. You're negative for them. For example, you cheated on your partner. They make the reasonable decision that you are a negative person and that they don't want to be with you anymore. It was a good thing of you to give them the ability to make an informed choice of whether to stay with you or not. If in this case, you don't want them to resent you and you know it's not gonna be their fault, it's your fault, then you should consider becoming the person that you want them to believe you are.

      When we say white lies, we just take the easy way out. By doing this, you are taking away a moment for the two parties to live, a perhaps awkward, but deepening moment. If the two people are ready to try to sit down and understand the other person, then the relationship will become better.

      Another point worth considering are unequal relationships like that of a parent and a kid. Parents are often unwilling to empathize with a kid's misconduct and will get incredibly mad for thing that aren't that bad according to the kid or society. In those situations, the parents' stance is understandable. They want their kids to make the best decisions and they don't know how to motivate them to make the best choices. Kid's should take responsibility for their actions and confess what they have done, and accept the consequences. If a kid doesn't not do that, they drive themselves away from their family creating superficial relationships. If the child, however, confesses, sure the parent will be disappointed and will get really mad, but in the long run, they will gain trust in their child, knowing that whatever they do, they will tell them. This way a strong relationship is built and once the kid becomes an adult and leaves, the relationship becomes an equal relationship that resembles that of friends. If you have a strong relationship, saying the truth, even if it creates negative results, will only build trust and intimacy.

      If you must use white lies to allow a relationship to continue, then go for it. It's just a relationship that lacks intimacy and is not as strong as a relationship where there is only honesty.

      Also, the people (such as parents) which might get the most affected by your hidden truth are often people who love you and will continue to love you regardless of if they have a tantrum when the figure it out.

      EDIT

      I want to add: people don't lie with the intention of diminishing the relationship's value. They do so by fear. But this fear of not being accepted by the other person has the consequence to separate the two parties (by this fear and lack of understanding of what the other person's life is really like)
      Last edited by Occipitalred; 01-13-2014 at 04:45 PM.
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      I agree 100%
      I would like to add a point too:
      If the partner is the type that doesn't sit and listen to what you need to say, even if it is your fault a problem occured, then you still should tell them, even if it causes the end of the relationship. A relationship with a person that doesn't try to look at problems from your point of view is a doomed one.
      So, it is good to always be honest(unless with a phyco)
      Occipitalred likes this.
      I fill my heart with fire, with passion, passion for what makes me nostalgic. A unique perspective fuels my fire, makes me discover new passions, more nostalgia. I love it.

      "People tell dreamers to reality check and realize this is the real world and not one of fantasies, but little do they know that for us Lucid Dreamers, it all starts when the RC fails"
      Add me as a friend!!!

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      Please, call me Louai <span class='glow_008000'>LouaiB</span>'s Avatar
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      I want to press the like button, but the RAM on my phone is giving me a hard time
      I fill my heart with fire, with passion, passion for what makes me nostalgic. A unique perspective fuels my fire, makes me discover new passions, more nostalgia. I love it.

      "People tell dreamers to reality check and realize this is the real world and not one of fantasies, but little do they know that for us Lucid Dreamers, it all starts when the RC fails"
      Add me as a friend!!!

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      Please, call me Louai <span class='glow_008000'>LouaiB</span>'s Avatar
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      Aha, did it! Sweet victory!
      Occipitalred likes this.
      I fill my heart with fire, with passion, passion for what makes me nostalgic. A unique perspective fuels my fire, makes me discover new passions, more nostalgia. I love it.

      "People tell dreamers to reality check and realize this is the real world and not one of fantasies, but little do they know that for us Lucid Dreamers, it all starts when the RC fails"
      Add me as a friend!!!

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      There was quite a long time where I just couldn't find the like button at all. It was a sad time.
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      Please, call me Louai <span class='glow_008000'>LouaiB</span>'s Avatar
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      lol. Maybe from the browser. Or those advertisemnt problems, or maybe not
      I fill my heart with fire, with passion, passion for what makes me nostalgic. A unique perspective fuels my fire, makes me discover new passions, more nostalgia. I love it.

      "People tell dreamers to reality check and realize this is the real world and not one of fantasies, but little do they know that for us Lucid Dreamers, it all starts when the RC fails"
      Add me as a friend!!!

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      I think it's more important to be earnest than honest. Honest supposes words contain accuracy and should be mutually understood all the time. Earnesty denotes that one is merely doing their best to be honest with the realization that communication is a struggle for understanding.

      And tact is important as well. Life is too complicated to act out of obtuse principle in every situation. One can speak diplomatically, for example. Also, humanity's natural disposition to hypocrisy can interfere.

      Everything works out in the end, sometimes even badly.


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