Thread: What truly makes you happy in this life?

Lucid-dreaming I guess.

Just the hope that there's more to existence than what we see now.

If there isn't, I'll be pretty pissed off.

Just hang in there. You might find something worthwile soon.

Originally Posted by IZ

But do you know what makes you happy in this life?
Have you already found or achieved it?

I am extremely happy and content. It isn't about what I've found or accomplished - it is about what I have chosen.

I choose to be happy. It's really that simple.

That means I choose not to be miserable, frustrated, angry, bored or anything else that makes me uncomfortable. When I encounter these things, my attention is turned toward getting back to happy.

This year will mark 19 years of marriage, to a woman I remain deeply in love with. Guess what? There is no special magic there either. I choose to love her, and she chooses to love me.

So long as you seek happiness in experience or from outside things, it will continue to elude you. Choose to be happy, and you will be.

It really is that simple. I've tried it both ways... and this way is better. MUCH better.

lol im pretty content with life. Im not like OMFG this is amazing but im pretty happy, nice family, nice friends, smart, good grades etc

Lol i just wants halo 3 to come out, the noly game ive evr really had an actual interest to follow resports on it, cos i really wants it:p.

My life is pretty boring at this point. Daily routines are being repeated over and over: going to school, watching tv at some friend, coming home late and playing some pc, sleeping. Then the cycle repeats.

Originally Posted by King and God

My life is pretty boring at this point. Daily routines are being repeated over and over: going to school, watching tv at some friend, coming home late and playing some pc, sleeping. Then the cycle repeats.

rowing rowing its never boring:p

The best way to achieve happiness is by the intangible feelings of this world. Most people, especially in the US, surround themselves in material possessions only to find out that it doesn't make them happy. Observe the natural world and be intune with the emotional, psychological, spiritual, and physical aspects of your life. Happiness isn't a tangible thing (so to speak). It is a feeling, so why try and use material possessions to attain it?

True happiness isn't attainable. Any time you think you are actually happy is more an act of complacency (feeling self-satisfied even when something is inherently wrong with the situation). I've found the closest thing you'll find to happiness in this life is to find inner balance. If you have balance you aren't depressed, or happy and that's about as good as it gets.

But to answer your question; I guess the closest thing to being happy is when I make or listen to good music.



As I posted on another thread about being self-aware...

That's mainly why I have the tattoo of happiness on the back of my neck where I know I'll never see it....knowing full and well anything I see in the mirror outside of 'self' isn't real happiness but quite rather it's opposite...true happiness is only found within...(the faint colored veiny look is intentionally added)

I am simply happy. I am happy every day for no reason really. Probably because I choose to by happy like pj said. I definately want to experience some of the better parts of life when I am older, because I am too young now to do many things. The anticipation of becoming an adult makes me even more excited, but I still love every day as a teen.

The only person in my life that is important to me makes me happy. Everything that goes bad is merely brushed away with thoughts of her.

Happiness is something that happens occasionally and rarely lasts very long. In my opinion you should set out to create as many happy memories as possible, then cherish these memories. They will sustain you in dry spells.

All we have is the here and now, and our memories.

My little girl is what gives me true happiness. I can't even put it into words how she makes me feel inside. I don't normally agree when people say that true happiness is not attainable because I know that it can be. If you really think that it's something that cannot be grasped, then chances are you're not going to have it.

What I like is that there's SO MUCH you can aspire to do that if you keep up with things, you'll never be bored.If you're bored, read up on stuff or... something...

I was thinking about this post the other day when I was picking up sticks in the yard. Actually I've thought about it before, and I don't know which way to go: Am I wasting my life if I am not happy, because I am better off than 99.99% of all the people that ever lived (as is everyone who is reading this post, I imagine); or am I a fool to be happy in the midst of all the suffering that occurs in the world? I don't know.

If you believe in evolution, and that everything about people including mental processes and emotions are designed to maximize the spread of their genes, then it makes sense that people in general are not happy. Your genes don't want you to be happy, they want you to always be wanting more (resources, etc.), and always to be trying to acquire more and struggling for a better place, so that you will be increasing the odds that you will pass on your genes, and that they will survive in your offspring.

Luckily, it is not too hard to overcome the influence of your genes. People do it all the time (birth control, etc.) so that you can enjoy your life, consciously ignoring what your genes want you to do for their selfish purpose. I'm not sure how you can use this personally to be happy, but if you realize that some of your desires may not be for things that will truly make you happy, you can minimize them and concentrate on things that do make you happy.

I'm reading a book called "Stumbling on Happiness" by Daniel Gilbert; in it he explains how people are incredibly bad at predicting what will make them happy, and that people are not even very accurate about how happy they actually are, when asked. For example, constant monitoring thruout the day shows that rich people are not happier than poor people, altho they will say that they are if you ask them.

Eight Keys to Happiness (I can't remember where I copied this from):
1 Count your blessings.
2 Practice acts of kindness.
3 Savor life's joys.
4 Express gratitude and appreciation to key individuals.
5 Learn to forgive and let go.
6 Invest time and energy in friends and family.
7 Take care of your body.
8 Develop strategies for finding meaning and coping with stress and hard times.
9 Practice your lucid dreaming techniques, and talk to your DV friends as often as possible.

So long as you seek happiness in experience or from outside things, it will continue to elude you. Choose to be happy, and you will be.

PJ is correct. It is very important here however to understand exactly what is involved. [Edit: after reading my own post I realized I must clarify here that happiness in the emotional sense can never be a constant as a few have said already. What you seek is more of a peace of mind; an inner peace, so let that be our definition here.]

It is not entirely simple. It requires a lot of discipline and willingness to change. I spent years in misery because of this dilemma I had with self-honesty. I refuse to lie to myself. People would tell me that you just have to make yourself happy and you will be. This is usually complete BS coming from most people. They incorporate what is really just "positive thinking". While it works to an extent, it is only on the surface; in essence, you are lying to yourself and this makes your fall much more painful. For years and years I would stare at a wall and ponder the solution to this.

As it turns out, it was actually more simple than I had realized. All it requires is a reprogramming of the subconscious and neural associations we make. This means you simply have to cast out all the crappy reactions you usually have to situations and replace them with objective ones; not "happy BS" ones. For example let's say you worked really hard on making something for a few months and suddenly someone came along and smashed it. Instead of just thinking positively: "at least I won't be bored the next few months", you don't bury the emotion that says "damn it! that son of a.." you just observe how bad it feels. As time goes on, your objectivity will improve and these feelings will cease at each occurence because you will be seeing how silly your reactions are and will not at all like seeing how you act like a computer. Press this button, and you do this! This is how people get to you; they probably know what keys to push at the right time.

So the process is being aware of absolutely every thought and every feeling you have during the day, not letting a single reaction go unchecked. This is all you have to do. It leads to a chain reaction where your reactions are no longer involuntary. You will learn in time to see everything as "just the way it is", but without the horrible feelings that used to go with it. Even major situations that would stress a person out to the max will make you just laugh.

Live in the moment like a child. A child doesn't cry over the same memory for years and years; a child doesn't think about the past or the future. A child is crying one moment and laughing a half second later. You see as we get older we become conditioned by our experiences. All you have to do is reprogram the brain to function optimally again. This way, you are not only on your way to happiness, but you are being honest with yourself, improving relationships with others, extinguishing anger and hate, and achieving your goals because fear is dealt with and conquered. Like I said before it requires a lot of discipline, but is well worth the effort and won't cost you a dime.

On the other hand, chasing after material items and money causes nothing but pain. You are bound to lose it someday. Also basing how well your day goes on other people's treatment of you is setting yourself up for great anguish. Sadly, this is what most all people do. Some are lucky, some not so lucky. Learn to take control of your mind rather than your mind controlling you, just like your dreams once controlled you, but now you know you can control them.

Moonbeam and Never - great posts. (I especially like point 9!)

I've touched on the honesty thing over and over again in other threads, but it does belong here. Without self honesty and genuine humility, it cannot happen.

The honesty is how you keep life simple and real. By losing the facades and false realities, all of the baggage that goes with maintaining a fantasy world goes away. (This isn't philosophical speculation on my part. I spent a good part of my life trying to maintain a miserable fantasy.)

The humility is also how you keep life simple and real. It is recognition of your own capacities. It is learning how to let go of worrying about and trying to control things that aren't within your realm of influence or responsibility.

Honesty and humility also open the doors to real mastery, if that is something you seek. Whether in the arts, philosophy or self-understanding, progress requires clear vision. Honesty and humility are how clear vision is attained.

Originally Posted by Never

Live in the moment like a child. A child doesn't cry over the same memory for years and years; a child doesn't think about the past or the future. A child is crying one moment and laughing a half second later.

That is the single wisest statement in this thread so far.

When I was 15 or 16, I made a life-pact with a friend (my bestest best buddy in the whole wide world) that we would always act like kids, because kids don't care. When you're a teenager, you can act like a goof ball at home, and make up secret languages and handshakes, and sing and dance and be a complete idiot (and have fun), but when you're at school and people are watching, you get ridiculed for it because it's not "cool".

So we decided not to care what they thought, and only do what we wanted to do. I wasn't that popular in school and most people probably thought I was a complete loser, but I didn't care, and I had fun.

We still use our dorky handshake today, when we're meeting in the pub or at work. We still speak in our stupid secret language, we still kick a ball around in the garden and pretend we're michael owen and robbie fowler, we still go the airport and watch the planes take off and land.

And we're still happy.

True happiness for me comes when you are honest with yourself (as people have said in the thread) and when you are doing what you want to do for the right reasons. Lots of people I know are at varsity studying away, and they tell me everyday how much they hate accounting or economics or computer science. And everyday I say "so why are you doing it?". The only answer most of the time is "it pays well".

Which is stupid. If you want to be a fireman, be a fireman! If you feel like going to the mall and pigging out on sweeties and candy floss, then do it! Otherwise you won't be happy. No-one has to do anything they don't want to, and that's where people go wrong.

Money and possessions aren't everything, and most of you will realise this at some point. So what if you don't get a big paycheck being a fireman, so what if you don't have a fancy car or a nice cellphone, who cares?

We all die in the end, and then it doesn't matter if you were a bigshot lawyer or a streetsweeper, it doesn't matter what car you had or how many bathrooms your house had. All that matters is what you did. And if you don't like what you did, and you didn't do what you wanted to, then what was the point?

In fact, if you're not doing what you want, or aren't doing something that will lead to that, you may as well end it now, slit your wrists because you're wasting your life, and you'll never be happy.

Just the fact that I woke up makes me happy

Seriously though happiness is 90% mental. I choose to be happy and contented with what I have and the direction I have chosen for my life. The cup is definately half full for me.

to be honest, skateboarding makes me happy. I look forward to it the minute i wake up every day, since i was around age 6. It gives me a challenge but is also so satisfying at the same time.

Everyday above ground, is a good day

RAPE.

No. Actually, what makes you happy is what you thinks makes you happy in most cases these days.

Originally Posted by Ne-yo

My little girl is what gives me true happiness. I can't even put it into words how she makes me feel inside. I don't normally agree when people say that true happiness is not attainable because I know that it can be. If you really think that it's something that cannot be grasped, then chances are you're not going to have it.

The reason I say we can't attain TRUE happiness is because we can't possibly understand TRUTH, itself. Sure, we can get fleeting lucid moments of complacency within the infinite different faces of happiness or truth, but let's not mistake them for ACTUAL truth or happiness. The real search is a life-long one, or more aptly put, a perceptually-long one. At any point within the experience of perception we are still searching, be it, in this life, or whatever follows. Of course, you can always take a breather in the moment and suck it all in but eventually you will have to start moving again, and that moment will be lost to you forever and you will have to find another purpose or meaning, or grow stagnant. Eternal bliss can instantly turn to eternal boredom if you aren't careful. That's where inner balance comes into play. You should never reject negativity because it will always come back to bite you that much harder when you do. You should become a master of both the positive and the negative forces that make up your true self because you can never hide from parts of yourself. When you can come to terms with that and enjoy the negative as well as the positive, you can find peace. Even chaos can be peaceful if you know how to appreciate it.

Basically, you can sit back and relax in your boat, but EVERYONE eventually has to pick up the oars and start rowing again because truth and happiness are ever-eluding, and I'm glad they are. *rows off into the sunset* Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily... life is but a dream. *fades to black*

Happiness

(+ - = - +) <---(aka. Balance, Yin-Yang)

Also, you say your little girl gives you TRUE happiness? I'm not going to deny that she may make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside at times, but for the sake of arguement, I'm almost certain you won't be able to say the same thing when she's around 17 or 18 and starts getting filled out like an application by some jock in college and despises everything about you, or when she eventually moves into a boyfriends apartment, starts a life of her own, and gets pregnant. Even your wife, who you must've bedded down at least once in order to have a child, is still someone elses little daughter. Remember: everything in life comes at a cost- be it a blatantly obvious one to us at the time, or not. And that my friend, is complacency, not happiness. TRUE happiness shouldn't be conditional.

Ahh, don't you just love those good ol' fleeting complacent moments that we so quickly call, happiness? They almost seem too good to be TRUE...but then again...what is TRUTH?

sharing love. music. learning. that's what makes me happy in short.

Personally, I believe happiness is well-being. Your description of well-being is a facade. Material possessions can bring happiness but they do not define happiness. True happiness comes from a deep sense of self and also from the knowledge of being part of a system greater than yourself.

An individual who has caught a glimpse of the higher pattern and has an idea of what he or she must do to become a greater part of that pattern is truly happy in the suburbs, in a penthouse or alone in the wilderness. The old cliche; "ignorance is bliss" is a lie. Understanding is the only path to transcending survival and reaching true enlightenment.

This is why religion is so appealing and yet so misleading. What most people don't understand is that someone who has seen past the superficial layer of reality can try to explain what they have seen but they will never be able to show it to you. You can never truly follow someone else's path up the mountain because eventually the path will become too narrow for more than one to pass at a time. Eventually everyone must find their own path and that is the ultimate downfall of any religious group. They are not designed to bring everyone to understanding, but to build a pyramid for the one at the top to reach it for themselves on the shoulders of their followers.

What everyone needs to reach true happiness is the realization that you have everything you need inside yourself to be your own pyramid.