Pants - My philosophy essay

**TomofForks** · 09-19-2007 02:40 AM

Pants - My philosophy essay

The importance of your Pants.
Pants are an important part of your life you take for granted everyday. Can you imagine what it would be like if you couldn't find your pants? First, it would just be plain cold. I mean, sure, there are other things like shorts and skirts that can be worn, but who wants to do that? Not me!

My pants are wondrous objects that see me through every day of the week. Falling over hurts alot more without pants. Pants are like armour for your legs. There is always the general fact that leaving your home without pants is just gonna cause a lot of people to laugh at you. While I have nothing against those who choose the path of not wearing anything at all, I just feel that it would be a terrible advantage in life to waste. I love my pants, more than I love my shirt, socks or even my coat that I wear almost everywhere. Now In Britain, the term pants refers to undergarments. Be sure I am not talking about these pants (Although these kind of pants are also very important). I am talking about trousers here!

Okay, now I know some of you are thinking "What is wrong with shorts?". Well, the fact is shorts suck. I mean, I find them very uncomfortable and unless you are going swimming or it is so hot out that when you crack an egg on the pavement it cooks. Now shorts are just a version of pants gone very wrong. I mean some "genius" just cut a pair of completely good pants in half.. Can you imagine if I drew a mustache on the "Mona Lisa"? I don't think you would be too happy.. Well, maybe you would be fine with it, or even get a kick out of it, but I am sure people would be generally unhappy that I ruined such a famous piece of art... and yet, you hear nothing when pants (Which scientists agree are 1000% more useful than that painting could ever be) are cut up and turned into shorts. I guess I could understand it if someone did it to survive. Like if someone didn't have enough fabric to spare for a whole pair of pants or other more important things could be made from the materials that would make the pants, or if someone ripped their pants apart to use the fabric in the wilderness to survive. Well, the point I am trying to get at is... I don't like shorts... They just look dumb in my opinion. As for skirts, well.. Sure okay they look good(On women) but I am sure those things can't be comfortable.. Their only use could be to keep embarrassing moments form happening, and even then they don't seem to do a very good job. Anything more padded than pants or bigger are generally okay. I believe there was an old piece of slang in our society that went something like "To be caught with one's pants down", which basically meant an embarrassing moment. I think it will be a long while until our culture accepts no pants as something normal.

<insert pictures of shorts on fat people that look really bad here>

Now think about it, why wouldn't you wear pants? What are some of the reasons that come to mind? Well, since I was too lazy to think of any good reasons against it myself, I decided to ask the masses by interviewing a few people chosen at well, not random... but it was whoever was awake at 5:22AM in the morning. Then my plan was to take their reasons and give a arguable point against it. One man said "hmm.. 1. because it's hot. 2. for easy raping (what the fuck..) 3. because im too sexy for my pants" - Reole Hitoshura Zalavander(age: ??) - From the Internet. Okay on his number one he said "because it's hot". While it may appeal in a more pleasurable way to the eyes of some, not all would agree with that. I am pretty sure most guys would rather other guys wear pants as apposed to not wearing any. So, you should take into account how others may feel about that sort of thing. Number two, I am hoping that was a joke. Number three, once again I don't think he took my interview too seriously, which just goes to show you the lack of respect pants and topics related to pants really get. Okay now this next guy seemed a little freaked out by this question, but he did answer it(eventually). "You wouldn't wear pants if you were REALLY hot. Or if.... You have no clean ones" Laurie(Age:19) - From the Internet. Right so, I am just gonna take his first point as a literal interpretation, because the other alternative is another joke. If it was really hot out, the pants shouldn't make that much difference, though they might get a little stinky and you might take them off to protect your pants from damage of the offensive kind... and if you took the proper precaution to get pants in the right color, they could keep the sun off you more so! Plus I notice when it gets really hot out, bugs come out like mosquitoes and you don't really have the energy to fight them off. For all you know they could be carrying some sort of terrible disease that you could die from! Although with some pants on, that covers a huge area of your body that is hard to defend from insect attacks. As for this guy's second point "You have no clean ones", well.. Come on, if you had no clean pants would you just get up and go through your everyday activities without them? Doubtful. Like for example if you had to go to work or school, chances are you wouldn't skip out, [I can just imagine the call to work. "Hello, it's Tom! Sorry, can't come in today; No clean pants! See ya Tuesday!] you would probably decide on going. Now going to those places (or even out in public) with no pants is alot more embarrassing than if your pants were dirty... If you are one of those clean freaks who are worried about germs and stuff, well it is much safer in that regard to be wearing pants than walking around without them. Plus, it is really itchy if you don't have them, but I will get to that in a bit. Now to mix things up a little, I asked a girl too. "I don't know know why one wouldn't wear pants actually, it might just because they prefer dresses or skirts or they are lazy and want to relax or something...." Lilium(Age: ?) Preferring dresses or skirts? Well, I am sure people do, but as you can plainly see.. Pants are much better in many ways. Being lazy and relaxing can be done with pants just fine, I should know.

So, you see pants are just a natural part of life now. We have worn them for at least a hundred years. Ever since history started being recorded people have been wearing pants. I think that we have even adapted to them! That's right, adapted to pants. I mean, even from a lifetime of wearing pants it feels irritable and itchy when you take them
off. Scientists agree that after many generations of people wearing pants over time, we are now tuned for wearing pants. Now the vast majority of the world is wearing pants, why? Well, obviously they are an advantage that most of us agree is worth having. It really is sad the lack of respect pants get. I mean in Britain pants can mean something that is not good, and here in Canada it is a codeword for heroine! Pants help us in such a basic manner that affects almost everything we do, and yet do we acknowledge them? No, of course not. They are just stupid pants, who cares? This is the attitude I have seen a little too much of lately. What have we become when we don't appreciate the most important piece of clothing on our backs? Who knows..? So, for the sake of your pants and mine, please be respectful and grateful of your pants!

----
Thanks to Mark75 for touching it up a little for me.
Also, this is a pretty old essay now.

**nerve** · 09-19-2007 07:06 AM

that is more like an evaluation essay, not a philosophical one. philosophy is the "Investigation of the nature, causes, or principles of reality, knowledge, or values, based on logical reasoning rather than empirical methods." the statement that pants are important is empirical. and I can't believe you wrote an entire essay on pants.