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I believe that is incorrect.
The outside observer would be basing his/her opinion on what he saw from the photons that left the event horizon and reached his eye. So, if the person in question entered a black hole, and the visual of his being spaghettified took x amount of time to reach the outside observer, it would be because the photons showing the person in question getting S-ified would take longer to reach the observer (if ever). That would not mean that the observer would be right in saying that the person in question wasn't already S-ified. Frame of reference does not change the absolution of whether or not that person has already been stretched/split into sections that no longer sustain human life. It's either happened and he's no longer intact, or it hasn't happened, and he is.
It's the same as someone saying "A star that we see with our naked eye does not actually exist anymore." We, as observers, may still see it, but that does not mean the star still exists, as it could have been destroyed light years ago. If that was the case, the person saying that it still exists (regardless of whether or not we could still see it) would, in fact, be wrong.
No..?