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    Thread: Just Wondering

    1. #1
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      Just Wondering

      First off let me say if this is not the right place for this. I was unsure where to post this.

      I was just wondering why people have a hard time letting go of loved ones or friends when they die. Why do people grieve so heavily?

      I ask this question because most people believe in some kind of after life where everything is now all shit and giggles. There is no more pain, no more suffering, just all fluffy clouds and puppy dogs to go around. Ok so in short everything is supposed to make since and be better when you die if there is some sort of an after live. So why grieve the loss of someone you love if you know they are now going to another place?

      It has never made any since to me. I have always looked at a grieving person who wanted said loved one back as selfish. Yes I know it is sad you will no longer be able to just pick up the phone and call the person, but shouldn't you be happy they are in theory happy and free of any kind of pain? Why would you wish them to still be full of pain because you can not stand to live with out them?

      Oh and just for a little info. I have lost my grandma and aunt that I was fairly close too, but I did not cry I got drunk and gave them a good farewell. I did fell sad for a few days for my mom (it was her mother and sister, and for other reasons I am not willing to say.) But that is it. I look at death in a positive way. Yes we may not know what "Death" is per say, but how can it be something bad when it is natural.

      IIMHO Death should not be feared or grieved.

      Just a twisted question and outlook lol. Please let you know what you think and why.

      D.G.

    2. #2
      The Sighted One A dreamer168's Avatar
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      I think it is sometimes related to unresolved issues between ppl, or the fact that someone "never got to say goodbye", or fond memories of that person which all of the sudden come flooding back to them
      "do what you wish"

    3. #3
      Local Hack Afterglow's Avatar
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      I've found with most people that the grieving is basically from a "selfish" mechanism where they view certain people as sort of "comfort zones".

      And when this comfort is lost, they crave it back, like a drug. There is a good chance that in the afterlife people are happy, and we should be happy for them. But the grief isn't merely about how they are dead, is more about the loss of that comfort and safety, we would be happy that they are in peace, but sad that they are gone out of our lives.

      I hope you can understand what I'm trying to get across in this post, I don't think I've explained it very well :S But anyway that's my opinion, I might be very wrong though
      When I was in high school I was very ambitious, I wanted to be the Class President but I missed out by only about 3 votes.

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      Nobody ever wants to say goodbye, but you don't have a choice. Once they are gone, they are gone forever. There is no coming back after you die, and anyone who is not sad because they have their afterlife excuse ready is a heartless bastard. Like it is said...you never know what the person or animal or whatever ment to you untill it's gone. While they will be out of pain, it's not fair to never exist again. It's not fair to have to be put through a pain such as a loss. Someone you grew up with perhaps, or a family. Never look at what happens after you die, always look to what you have right now because all you have now is all you will ever get, we live in the now, not the past, nor the future. But you gotta realize one thing, while you are allowed a life, you are allowed a death. Life in inevitible, so is death. You come, you go, you get forgotten, life goes on without you. That's how it is, that's how it will always be. Don't look to them being out of pain, look to the memories you had of them because that's all you will have of them now.

    5. #5
      Antagonist Invader's Avatar
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      Losing a loved one means having lost access to that person. It means being alone on the level of communication to that person, alone in regards to that particular relationship.

      People don't often enjoy that sense of permanent aloneness.

      This is my opinion.

    6. #6
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      "but how can it be something bad when it is natural."

      so poop is good because its natural? get off your high horse.

    7. #7
      I LOVE KAOSSILATOR Serkat's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Lewcidius View Post
      "but how can it be something bad when it is natural."

      so poop is good because its natural? get off your high horse.
      Poop is good. Try cancer, cancer is natural and bad.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1eP84n-Lvw

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      Member ChaybaChayba's Avatar
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      Yeah I'm on the same page as the OP. I also agree that poop is good.
      "Reject common sense to make the impossible possible." -Kamina

    9. #9
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      Sometimes poop feels real good when you release.

    10. #10
      DEATH TO FANATICS! StonedApe's Avatar
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      I think that people get so upset when others die because they are attached to the idea of that person being there. This person was in some way directly connected to the other, was in someway a positive part of that persons experience. We all feel bad when we lose things that we are attached to. With people it's just a deeper connection so it is like a bigger part of your experience is missing.
      157 is a prime number. The next prime is 163 and the previous prime is 151, which with 157 form a sexy prime triplet. Taking the arithmetic mean of those primes yields 157, thus it is a balanced prime.

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    11. #11
      Sleeping Dragon juroara's Avatar
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      separation is a painful ordeal

      lets go back before phones and the internet. when someone you loved moved away, you were not going to see or hear them for a long time. you miss the relationship you had with this person.

      even in the world view of an afterlife, separation isn't necessarily meant to be

      there are also those who don't believe in reincarnation. so with regards to a young person dying, they feel they were cheated out on life regardless of how happy heaven is. rightfully so.

    12. #12
      - Neruo's Avatar
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      It is indeed strange that Christians or Muslims seem not to grieve a single bit less than atheists. Well, not like people let go of superstitions when they are paradoxical.
      StephL likes this.
      “What a peculiar privilege has this little agitation of the brain which we call 'thought'” -Hume

    13. #13
      Here, now Rainman's Avatar
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      Often, people aren't able to let go because...they're human. Humans grieve the loss of those close to them because of the possesive nature of the human ego. Once a human "has" something, it doesn't want to lose it. It is similar to how when you have an inanimate object that you have had for a long time, or holds great significance to you, you are sad to lose it. Obviously not to the same extent that you would grieve over the loss of another person.. but it is the same concept.

      The egoic mind is all about having things..once a thing is lost, it grieves and looks for another thing to replace it. Obviously this is not true of all people, but it's a general process that people go through. It actually is a lot more complicated than that, But I don't really feel like explaining it at 2:34 am...why the hell am I still awake..

    14. #14
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      All sadness and suffering, fear and doubt, is felt from the egoic mind. Detaching from the material, recognising that we are not our body, and nothing belongs to us, and focusing inwardly to the soul can one truly feel.

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      Just because you say you believe in a religion doesn't mean you really believe it. I think people almost instinctually know that when a person dies, that they will probably never see them again. So even though they believe a religion they know deep down that the person is gone.
      StephL likes this.

    16. #16
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      If you're going to bring up instincts, why not say it's a biological imperative instead of saying that people don't really believe in their religion? In some cases I'm sure it's true but it makes far more logical sense to say that, given the scientific evidence that humans did in fact evolve to become what we are, that those "people" or animals that felt the pain of loss were more likely to try and keep their fellow species alive, thus ensuring survival. It's both a better point and it doesn't quite so much make what you say sound like you are writing it to belittle believers or trying to start an argument. I'm not implying that this was a goal of yours mind you, but it certainly could be construed that way by people that are more sensitive to the issue.
      StephL likes this.

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      Howdy y'all. This thread is 6 years old. Please start a new thread rather than necro-posting.


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