I used to think I was God

I put this topic in here because it does deal with religious elements and I didn't want to create trouble in another area. I hope I'm ok by posting this and I will admit my views have changed since then, however, this was when I just started out and didn't understand things as well.

During a early age around 13 or 15 I had a lot of weird things happening in my life. My parents were fighting due to my dad being downsized. I don't know if the spiritual developement was due to the bad things, but I became very active without understanding.

I tried to turn to the bible and religion for support, but there were times when I'd sit in my room crying and begging why. I was also picked on at school because I wasn't in the best of shape at home so it nearly sent me to the breaking point.

My dreaming was also very high during this period and I could get to the dreaming stage fast. It might have been my own dream version of it but ended up a lot of times in what seeme to represent heaven always being welcomed. I also had dreams of fighting plus some bad dreams dealing with demons.

Meditation was one way that I did end up calming myself. Yet it opened again areas I didn't understand at a young age. With the weird dreams I did have one of a angel showing me a possibility of my life. Then questioning why I didn't use what was given. I also had a dream about someone trying to kill me because of what I was capable of.

I started to believe at this point I was different. This is also when the God dreams as I termed them started. My dream self would start calling themself a God in the dreams. I never started that belief, but it always came out. Thus the reason why I started to believe I was a God myself.

BTW understand there was just a lot going on with being messed up from a family life and having very strong dreams happen that I couldn't understand. My mind wasn't ready to understand reality so it saught a reason for why I might be treated this way. Plus we did have that group come to my area thinking God would appear because of the city's name.

That really messed me up even more lol because it was very close to the school I went along with my home yet I stayed quiet during that time. So what effect does this have on a person's belief? I'm more stronger now in a belief of spirituality not religious belief. The religion can sometimes mess with our heads if we aren't prepared for it and having other stuff happening with us.

Hmm. Interesting. That must be an Unique point-of-view, the point-of-view of 'god'. :) I hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, and didn't get into to much trouble over it. I guess it was just a kind of 'escape' into.. well a fantasy world, because you had such a rough time.

Hope you feel better now BTW :)

As long as you know what is real now, I wouldn't say you turned into a nutcase or anything, just because you were somewhat confused when you were younger. It may be a learning experience, even.

awesome/interesting i hope your life is sorted now and your on track to a happy one.

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Originally Posted by Neruo

Hmm. Interesting. That must be an Unique point-of-view, the point-of-view of 'god'. :) I hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, and didn't get into to much trouble over it. I guess it was just a kind of 'escape' into.. well a fantasy world, because you had such a rough time.

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I think the part of needing a escape caused it. Another part was just not understanding the difference. I don't think even if I felt the same way I did back then that I would have gone the path of a nutcase. While it was happening I instead turned to a path of inner peace. I even swear a oath that would never harm a person like i had been harmed.

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Originally Posted by conisag

awesome/interesting i hope your life is sorted now and your on track to a happy one.

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Yes things are sorted out, but still have problems, however, that is just life after all. No life is perfect, but I think when we are young and so much happens around us that we don't understand it's easy to fall under the illusion.

BTW I still have the god dreams, but because I've grown used to dreams like that I know they are just that dreams. If I do explore things I go within the understanding that it is all either dream related or within the mind. I just learned a lot from a early age due to life.

Well, my friend in your dreams you must understand you actually are god, but dont carry that thru to reality for the own mental health lol telling people to worship you as you "are the great creator" will get you a stretch in the metal home lol.

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Plus we did have that group come to my area thinking God would appear because of the city's name.

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What is the name of you're city. Is you're city called god or jesus.
I heard it's really hard to get rid off delusions of grandeur. Well, you could think you're invincible or become paranoid.

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No life is perfect, but I think when we are young and so much happens around us that we don't understand it's easy to fall under the illusion.

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Humans biggest problem is that we got imagination which blurrs the line between fiction and reality. Well, I will stop now before I start thinking you are god, which would be weird because I don't believe in god. I read in newscientist that a team has ruled out quantum mechanical prinicples that says that reality exists when you're not observing it. Maybe the observer is god, however that would make me god, however from you're perspective you would be god.

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Originally Posted by wendylove

What is the name of you're city. Is you're city called god or jesus.
I heard it's really hard to get rid off delusions of grandeur. Well, you could think you're invincible or become paranoid.

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I think in my case I never saw myself as invincible, but instead that I was capable of dying to save another life. I always debated within myself that even someone attacking me was more important then my own life. I also felt I could forgive another who did harm to me because I rather not hate anyone.

I just became wisers of myself and people around me. I also had a little term for myself Observer of Life. I felt I could exist within life yet I was still not part of it even though people were always around me. I still don't know if anything will happen in the next few years, but if it does so what we live our life now not worry about what happens then. I actually have no regret now so if anything I didn't move past it I just stopped worrying about it and started to live life the way I wanted to no matter what happens.

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Originally Posted by wendylove

Humans biggest problem is that we got imagination which blurrs the line between fiction and reality. Well, I will stop now before I start thinking you are god, which would be weird because I don't believe in god. I read in newscientist that a team has ruled out quantum mechanical prinicples that says that reality exists when you're not observing it. Maybe the observer is god, however that would make me god, however from you're perspective you would be god.

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Actually I agree with you on what you said. Our imagination can play tricks on us along with our desire to believe in something. I actually feel my belief is a mixture of christianity and buddhism. Most christians would say that is a sin itself yet I believe in the heart and I think God would forgive me for trying to understand others instead of condeming them. That's where my belief and views are right now and why I'm more spiritual then religion. I think you can be spiritual without being religious about it even if one doesn't believe.

Edit because forgot to answer.

http://www.mt.net/~watcher/cultufo.html

More than 140 members of the Taiwan-based church have left their homes here for Garland, Texas, where they believe God will arrive in a spaceship on March 31.

A white-clad family of four emerged from the church Tuesday, saying they were headed for Texas to join their fellow congregants, who departed by bus last week.

(What if God was one of us.) ha ha. Don't sell yourself short kid.
Vee