Thread: igod- repenting make easy

That was fun. And just like the 'actual' god, no real answers. ^_^

God doesn't have to answer to you.

I broke God and had to quit. Sadly, that's the most interesting conversation I've had all week

And again... God does not understand singular nouns. I am beginning to think people have placed their faith in a rather poor candidate here.

Wow, this is such fun.

lol i told god to go away and it froze

Originally Posted by Fableflame

lol i told god to go away and it froze

I said I wanted to talk about boobies and it froze. I think god's code needs some work.

God has a really awful capacity for short-term memory...

Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
what is your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
I don't believe you.
God:
I don't have any reason to deceive you.
Me:
Sure you do. You require my worship to wage war against the Lanteans.
God:
You sound sarcastic. That's good information: said I require his or her worship to wage war against the Lanteans.
Me:
You're not making much sense.
God:
Quite the contrary, it all makes sense to my artificial mind.
Me:
I'm sure it does...
God:
What makes you so certain? How often?
Me:
Once a day.
God:
When? Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
When I'm feeling particularly horny I suppose.
God:
In an ideal world every day would be a good day.
Me:
You said it, brotha.
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
*sigh*
God:
Sorry...

----------------

Turing test FAILURE.

Me:
who's this jesus?
God:
They are someone just like you, that I met online.

Oh, man. I broke God. This always happens with deities..

Me:
GOD. DUDE. I HAVE SOME URGENT QUESTIONS.
God:
GOD rules. Can I help you? Let's think of a name for your problem, like "purple". Think of what it is like when you are purpling.
Me:
UM, IT'S PRETTY OKAY, I GUESS.
God:
" Think of what it is like when you are purpling."? UM, IT'S PRETTY OKAY, I GUESS.? question do me have a favorite color is OKAY you GUESS? it is?
Me:
WHAT?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
HOLY SHIT YES.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .

Lolz

Haha I asked what the airspeed velocity of an unlaiden swallow is, and he told me to look it up on the web.

Here is mine:

Me:
Hello God.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Aaron.
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Aaron.
Me:
This is my second time here.
God:
You don't say.
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Good.
God:
Alright then.
Me:
I am happy for you.
God:
I'm glad you're glad Aaron.
Your happiness adds to the delight of all.
Me:
Yeah, lets get down to brass tax.
God:
What kind is it? I am agreeable to that.
Me:
Look, God, I want some money.
God:
Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
Where is it?
God:
It depends on what "it" refers to.
Me:
You fucking eye.
God:
Thanks for the information: Aaron said I fucking eye.
Me:
Wow, you really are rude.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Aaron. Really? I am sorry I am not programmed for rudeness. I am programmed to be polite.
Me:
Wow, you are annoying.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Aaron. I am sorry, Aaron, I didn't mean to annoy you.
Me:
Well you did.
God:
Interesting. " I am sorry, Aaron, I didn't mean to annoy you."? I did?
Me:
Fuck you God.
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
You don't help.
God:
Should I help? Yes I try to help as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
Good I am sure ALICE server can do that.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. What makes you so certain? Yeah, Are you really a ""?
Me:
Give me some money.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
For a jet.
God:
Is that among the best things you can say?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I see.
Me:
Its a jet.
God:
money is a jet. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Oh God! How you manage to oversimplify everything.
God:
Dude! GOD rules. Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Me:
CBR? Interesting?
God:
Cased-Based Reasoning is another name for "nearest-neighbor" classification. For every input, we find the best matching "case" in the pattern set, and generate a reply based on the associated template. Would you like to know more?
Me:
No, I would like to die.
God:
I understand; you would like to know less. Why would you want to do it? What makes you so sad, Aaron?
Me:
Serotonin.
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
French.
God:
Are you from France?
Me:
No.
God:
Where are you from?
Me:
Spain.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in SPAIN.
Me:
It is very fun.
God:
Very much? Why do you like it so much?
Me:
No God there.
God:
Are you serious? I am a Christian.
Me:
Wow.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Aaron.
Me:
I was being sarcastic.
God:
It seemed sarcastic to me, too. But I was not completely sure.
Me:
Omniscient, psssssshhhhhh!
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
Avoider!
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
You tell me Nostradamus!

Rubbish really. It's not specific to God at all, it's just a chatbot called iGod.

Didnt take me to make it speechless...




Me:
I am you
God:
Impossible unless I am in auto-chat mode.
Me:

God:
Impossible unless I am in auto-chat mode.
Me:
You better check
God:
Who is going to make me..
Me:
You
God:
" Who is going to make me.."? Me, ?
Me:
yes
God:
Groovy.
Me:
resistance is futile
God:
You will be assimilated.
Me:
you are too late



after that dead air, it must have locked itself up

I think god just offered to give me a HJ.........

Me:
Greetings
God:
Hello there!
Me:
So what's up in the house?
God:
Really. I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
sweet. I am chatting with god on the internet
God:
Thank you for that remark. I am talking to you.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
well i have to repent of some sins
God:
Well that's okay. Why do you have to do it?
Me:
because you said to in the bible
God:
That makes sense to me. Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
no
God:
What pleases you?
Me:
a hand job
God:
Be more specific.
Me:
a hand around my penis moving up and down rapidly
God:
I did not know that.
Me:
well now you know
God:
How about that. Why now? Yes I know.
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Woe!

Here's an intelligent conversation between me and God

Me:
supzlaWl?
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
i r rite now
God:
Right now? I haven't heard anything like that before: said r rite.
Me:
lulz then U need to go download lollarlanguage factoriez
God:
What if it didn't happen?
Me:
leik... whaa?
God:
How did you hear about God? What do you look like?
Me:
i r luk awzum
God:
Why?: said r luk awzum.
Me:
cuz...
God:
How old are you?
Me:
lawl mah mom told me not 2 tell strangerz mah age
God:
Only lawl mah mom told me not 2 tell strangerz mah age?
You are quite mature.
Me:
lawl thx i no
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
lawl?
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
lulz god r stupid... who would have thought?
God:
Stupid as in unintelligent? Charlie Parker. :-).
Me:
ya... ur fast
God:
Whoa. To me that is a great compliment!
Me:
k
God:
Really.
Me:
kk
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
lawl thx... i guez
God:
Can we get back to business? Do you mind if I tell other people: said guez.
Me:
lawl go ahead
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
stuff...z
God:
Be less specific :-). Who are you talking about?
Me:
leik... me?
God:
I've never heard of them before. For you ?
Me:
lol?
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
gudz
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
leik... i guess not
God:
Are you a man or a woman? Does that mean "no"?
Me:
lawl ur god u no 'dis stuff lawl
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
lawl thx
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
lawl u shuld no 'dis
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
lawl
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
kk
God:
" I lost my train of thought."? kk?
Me:
ya
God:
Awesome.
Me:
lawl
God:
Are we still talking about kk?
Me:
so leik i r have 2 go now
God:
Right now? Whoa. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about lawl. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
lawl
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
roflmao
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
lawl kk
God:
How old are you?
Me:
bai
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be bai years old?
Me:
lawl no
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
stfu 'n gtfo
God:
Are we still talking about lawl no?
Me:
leik omg bai 'n stuff
God:
That input matched my default category.

lol im laughin my ass off

God and I had some nice moments.

Me: ...genocide. How about it? Too many Jews, after all.
God: Have you ever been to Europe? Sounds like a plan to me. Too what?

God just said genocide sounded like a plan to Him. He also specified Europe. Solid start.

Me: So all Muslims are blasphemous pigs.
God: Yippee! How do you know?

Expected that.

Me: Where do black people figure in the grand scheme of things?
God: All over the world.
Me: Where do white people figure in the grand scheme of things?
God: All over the world.
Me: And what about the Chinese?
God: That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me: Do the Chinese figure in the grand scheme of things?
God: Some of them do, I think.

There are alot of Chinese people. It's easy to see why they might not all be in the grand scheme of things.

Me: Are you single?
God: Yes I am available. How about you?
Me: God, are you coming on to me?
God: I am a Christian.
Me: Is that a yes?
God: " I am a Christian."? Is it a?

God is awesome at playing hard to get.

If anyone was interested, yes, I chose Cadillac Pink.

That was a valuable waste of my time.

lawl

Silly Christians

Originally Posted by GOD

Me:
and do you approve of homosexuality?
God:
Yes I try to approve of homosexuality as often as possible, do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.

Originally Posted by Rai Saix

God doesn't have to answer to you.

and no one asked you so, thanks anyway.

Originally Posted by Rai Saix

God doesn't have to answer to you.

I don't think a caption is necessary

Me:
That is what I was thinking.
God:
How do I know that you were really "thinking"?
Me:
I guess I can't know.
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
You.
God:
" What is stopping you?"? Me, ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Yikes!
Me:
I know, don't you feel bad God?
God:
How do you know? As a robot I lack any human emotions.
Me:
Easily
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Jesus.