I used to have this obsession over dinosaurs and the science of them (not just them like certain kids just liking the look of them), I used to look at books to learn lots of things about how old the world was and such. Somewhat later I became interested in what explanations god could give me, what he had to say about the history of the world, and just how did he bring all this about and the science behind it. So I had been going to this church each night to play games only, but me and my parents and the preacher decided that I should try out bible studies.
So I went to bible studies to learn about god, and what I began learning was puzzling to me, about some mortal man named Jesus, and I didn't understand what he had to do with this world, there was practically little detail of the world, and it all sounded like fairy tails, I remember telling my friends and brother that I loved god and Jesus and all, but the more I thought about Jesus and the dinosaurs the more my head hurt.
Later on I went to bible studies again (a different church) with a friend of mine, I can remember having probably the most embarrassing time of my life there, I had a panic attack during this play thing in front of everyone, and lost control of myself, that didn't stop my belief in god however, though it did traumatize me to never want to stand up in front of people ever again (I will take a lower grade if I absolutely have to, never had to yet).
But my older brother was an atheist, and I had known this but never really thought into it but once or twice, I had thought it was something a bit different then it was too. Later, talking on AIM with my older brother in Iraq he sent me some atheist links, and I immediately took it in, very interested that people doubted the bible, such a thing I had never known up to that point, I was about 12-13 years old at the time.
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