Thread: Has God ever smited you??

Originally Posted by Dreamhope11

Has god ever smited you for doing something wrong?? With electric bolts and such...

Yeah

Me too

God smited me once for not replacing the protective rubber seal on my computer monitor tube before plugging it in.

Originally Posted by Xaqaria

God smited me once for not replacing the protective rubber seal on my computer monitor tube before plugging it in.

You was asking for that.

God abducted me in third grade.

Originally Posted by hungrymanz

God abducted me in third grade.

Did he eliminate your genitals and add a womens vagina and turned you into the worlds first pregnant man?

God smited my microwave once when I put a candy bar with an aluminum based wrapper in it.

Originally Posted by Omnius Deus

God smited my microwave once when I put a candy bar with an aluminum based wrapper in it.

Owned

Originally Posted by Xaqaria

God smited me once for not replacing the protective rubber seal on my computer monitor tube before plugging it in.

More evidence that god hates rubber.

Got smited by a dodgy amp a few months ago.

Got a shock right through the mains and went as rigid as a plank.

My dog got smited by pepper spray from a cop.

It's like the reverse.

I waited. The lights above me blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. I didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. My warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
I was a space marine for fourteen years. When I was young I watched the spaceships and said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"
There was a time when I believed him. Then as I got oldered I stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC I knew there were demons.
"This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
So I gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons
"I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. I plasmaed at him and tried to blew me up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the demons" I shouted
The radio said "No, John. You are the demons"


And then John was a zombie.

Today was a half day which fucked up my bathroom schedule (no breaks and shorter time in between classes), I also had to talk with the guidance counselor about getting into a film class but that's not important. Anyway, I'm coming home and I really have to pee, so I figure I'll stop at the church because they have a bathroom. Oh, and it was raining. Anyway, I run up to the door (in the rain) and the door was locked, so I had to drive home (12ish minutes) about to explode. I think that suffices as smiting.

But in all seriousness, who the fuck locks a church door. I might have needed to pray. I could have been standing there in the rain wanting to pray. Nice call God.

Stop acting like an invisible, omnipotent, omniscience, and omnibenevolent fiction character was at fault for a church door being locked. It makes you look hateful and ignorant.

My mother suffering for most of my life (and earlier) from various medical issues and then dying is probably the closest thing to smiting, but that's only because various people, including my mother and even myself putting faith and trust in this being, hoping that he would heal her or at least reduce the physical pain she suffered and the emotional pain we all suffered because of her complications. Fortunately this isn't the reason I'm an agnostic.

Shouldn't it be smitten?

Originally Posted by Omicron

I waited. The lights above me blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. I didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. My warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
I was a space marine for fourteen years. When I was young I watched the spaceships and said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"
There was a time when I believed him. Then as I got oldered I stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC I knew there were demons.
"This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
So I gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons
"I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. I plasmaed at him and tried to blew me up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the demons" I shouted
The radio said "No, John. You are the demons"


And then John was a zombie.

Today is a good day to do the things that need to be done by me in order to save my brother!

My car door smites me all the time, mostly on dry days when I'm wearing clothing made of thick or fuzzy material.

And the cord to my cell phone smote me earlier today, I don't know why.

If god hath unleashed his magnificent smiting powers upon me, it hathn't been for anything serious, apparently.

I've been smote a few times.

Once I was unscrewing a dead bulb and got quite a shock, but was able to pull away

Another killer from a voltage converter. I was changing the fuse and forgot to unplug it.

Once while plugging in a laptop. Very minor

Originally Posted by Dreamhope11

Has god ever smited you for doing something wrong?? With electric bolts and such...

Don't hate

no but yesterday in form time, I'm in college, I wandered over to take a random book because we had a stupid one hour class to work on UCAS( applying to Uni in the UK,even though we do it at another time usually and most of us have done it and are waiting for tutors to check em before we send them off).

Anyways i saw we had a translated Qu'ran so I thought i'd see if it was similar to the bible, try and find out why there's tension between Muslims and Christians. So i sit down next to one of my friends who is religious, Christian, and start browsing through it. He asks me what i'm doing and i just said i'm comparing it to the Bible. Then he starts acting scared saying stuff like " Joe stop reading that....", "Stop it omg".

He seemed to fear either i was going to become a Muslims which must be wrong or that his God was going to smite me for it. I told him that if God smited me with a bolt(possibly from the computer near me) that surely Allah would have raised an energy shield to absorb it.

Back to smiting though, my TV was smited. I turned it on a few months back and nothing happened, so i click it a few times and smoke starts coming from the top and were the button was! I guess my TV turned itself on and watched something sinful or God was trying to punish me by smiting my beloved TV, foolish decision though as it resulted in me getting a 26" LCD TV as a replacement..