I got this from a generator lol omg wtf lulzzzzzzzz

This letter is not a memoir. Nor is it a policy memorandum issued by the government or by a local think tank. Rather, it is an assessment of how I am ashamed to admit that I live on the same planet as Dream Views. Many of the arguments I'm about to make rest upon the rock-solid principles of freedom of thought and freedom of speech. If it weren't for these freedoms, I wouldn't be allowed to tell you that Dream Views has been offering audacious slackers a lot of money to take away our sense of community and leave us morally adrift. This is blood money, plain and simple. Anyone thinking of accepting it should realize that if we fail to report as best as possible the facts and circumstances surrounding Dream Views's mealymouthed animadversions then all of our sacrifices will be as forgotten as the sand blowing across Ozymandias's dead empire. The "decay of that colossal wreck," as the poet Shelley puts it, teaches us that Dream Views accuses me of being a liar. The only proven liar around here, however, is Dream Views. Only a die-hard liar like Dream Views could claim that our country's security, prestige, and financial interests are best served by war and the ever-present threat of war. The truth, in case you haven't already figured it out, is that as the adherents of Randian objectivism believe, it is like a Judas goat, leading us all to the slaughter. Furthermore, as the adherents of empiricism observe, Dream Views would have us make cranky, mindless swaggerers out to be something they're not. May God, in his restraining mercy, forbid that we should ever do this most balmy and chthonic thing!

Everybody knows that Dream Views's ruses are utterly otiose, but you should consider that Dream Views's reasoning is circular and therefore invalid. In other words, it always begins an argument with its conclusion (e.g., that the future of the entire world rests in its hands) and therefore—not surprisingly—it always arrives at that very conclusion. Dream Views wants you to believe that people find its unrelenting, over-the-top hostility rather refreshing. You should be wary of such claims. Be aware! Be skeptical! Think! Do not be diverted, deceived, or mesmerized by Dream Views's dictatorial, stingy allegations.

Most people don't realize this, but Dream Views has, in fact, presented evidence in support of its claim that science is merely a tool invented by the current elite to maintain power. Of course, its evidence has been rather flimsy in the credibility department. It's generally a lot easier to find evidence that I'll tell you what we need to do about all the craziness Dream Views is mongering. We need to put to rest hopeless and salacious prank phone calls such as Dream Views's. If I had to choose the most immature specimen from Dream Views's welter of unsavory gabble, it would have to be Dream Views's claim that our unalienable rights are merely privileges that it can dole out or retract.

The greatest quote I ever heard goes something like this: "Dream Views's stratagems are enmeshed in adversarialism." Every time Dream Views gets caught trying to shock and stampede the public into accepting total fascist tyranny, it promises it'll never do so again. Subsequently, its chargés d'affaires always jump in and explain that it really shouldn't be blamed even if it does because, as they profess, no one is smart enough to see through its transparent lies. If you've never seen Dream Views legitimate irresponsibility, laziness, and infidelity, you're either incredibly unobservant or are concealing the truth from yourself. One indication of this is the fact that to believe that it's okay if Dream Views's philosophies initially cause our quality of life to degrade because "sometime", "someone" will do "something" "somehow" to counteract that trend is to deceive ourselves. Because Dream Views's depraved, militant commentaries reflect the moral and intellectual onanism that is accepted by stroppy publishers of hate literature as a legitimate expression of faith, it therefore stands to reason that its list of sins is long and each one deserves more space than I have here. Therefore, rather than describe each one individually, I'll summarize by stating that by indiscriminately assigning value to practically everything, Dream Views has made "experience" all-important. Its experiences, however, are detached from any consideration of what is good or true, which means that they will almost certainly pigeonhole people into predetermined categories in a lustrum or two.

Even if we accepted Dream Views's pronouncements, so what? Does that mean that exclusivism is a wonderful thing? Of course not.

Contumelious tightwads are unable to see that Dream Views has no conception of our moral and ethical standards. Dream Views and its bloody-minded apparatchiks must laugh about this in private, knowing that Dream Views wants to subordinate principles of fairness to less admirable criteria. Why it wants that, I don't know, but that's what it wants. Dream Views has been telling people that every featherless biped, regardless of intelligence, personal achievement, moral character, sense of responsibility, or sanity, should be given the power to erase the memory of all traditions and all history. This story has been uncritically swallowed and regurgitated by many half-informed, bumptious muttonheads who find pleasure in believing it. No, I can't explain it either. However, I can say that on a television program last night I heard one of this country's top scientists conclude that, "Dream Views relies on the skillful manipulation of human emotions, especially fear, to force me to undergo 'treatment' to cure my 'problem'." That's exactly what I have so frequently argued, and I am pleased to have my view confirmed by so eminent an individual.

Surely, the good Lord must have wept when He saw Dream Views reduce history to an overdetermined, wireframe sketch of what are, in reality, complex, dynamic events. Some organizations are responsible and others are not. Dream Views falls into the category of "not".

If Dream Views would abandon its name-calling and false dichotomies it would be much easier for me to begin a course of careful, planned, and coordinated action. We must learn to celebrate our diversity, not because it is the politically correct thing to do, but because I recently informed it that its loyalists utilize questionable and illegal fund-raising techniques. Dream Views said it'd "look further into the matter." Well, not too much further. After all, its allocutions are evil. They're evil because they cause global warming; they make your teeth fall out; they give you spots; they incite nuclear war. And, as if that weren't enough, if you hear Dream Views spouting off about how it is clean and bright and pure inside, you should tell it that its hatchet men are a bunch of misguided individuals parroting one another and unwittingly serving ends they would never intentionally promote. Better yet, tell it to stop getting its opinions from drossy malefactors and start doing some research of its own.

Dream Views has no discernible talents. The only things it has unequivocally mastered are biological functions. Well, I suppose Dream Views is also good at convincing people that it has a "special" perspective on exclusionism that carries with it a "special" right to put the most uppity prophets of officialism I've ever seen on the federal payroll, but my point is that when one examines the ramifications of letting Dream Views keep a close eye on those who look like they might think an unapproved thought, one finds a preponderance of evidence leading to the conclusion that you may be wondering why the worst classes of cuckoo, impolitic scrubs I've ever seen latch onto its witticisms. It's because people of that nature need to have rhetoric and dogma to recite during times of stress in order to cope. That's also why Dream Views is like the man behind the curtain in the Wizard of Oz. Pull back the curtain of careerism and you'll see a laughable, perverted skinhead hiding behind it, furiously pulling the levers of anti-intellectualism in a sniffish attempt to suppress those who would seek to learn the truth about its nutty jibes. That sort of discovery should make any sane person realize that if I didn't sincerely believe that Dream Views has become a patsy to its own malevolence, then I wouldn't be writing this letter.

Unruly heathenism is one of the most effective tools of tyranny, but, as you know, we must examine the social and cultural conditions that lead Dream Views to formulate social policies and action programs based on the most amoral kinds of obscurantism in existence. This call to action begins with you. You must be the first to offer true constructive criticism—listening to the whole issue, recognizing the problems, recognizing what is being done right, and getting involved to help remedy the problem. You must be the one to find the common ground that enables others to expose every censorious practice of every censorious psychic. And you must inform your fellow man that Dream Views has—not once, but several times—been able to take over society's eyes, ears, mind, and spirit without anyone stopping it. How long can that go on? As long as its lewd roorbacks are kept on life support. That's why we have to pull the plug on them and snap its habitués out of their trance. I'll end this letter with a personal invitation to Dream Views itself: If you care to respond to what I wrote, please do, especially if you think that I am being inaccurate or unfair. I do not wish to misrepresent you in any way whatsoever. Pax vobiscum.

Here's one against Billy Joel for no reason.
It's unlikely that this letter will win me many friends or even garner much attention. However, writing it is the only way I know to respond to Mr. Billy Joel's theories. One of my objectives for this letter is to fight Mr. Joel hammer and tong. Although vulgar ideologues are relatively small in number compared to the general population, they are rapidly increasing in size and fervor. I have no set opinion as to whether or not he is a bad egg. I do, however, obviously suspect that Mr. Joel has tried quashing other people's opinions. He has also tried instilling a general ennui. Why does Mr. Joel do such things? In classic sophist fashion, I ask another question in reply: How will Mr. Joel's chums react when they discover that Mr. Joel wants to cast dissent as treason and criticism as espionage? I don't pretend to know the answer, but I do know that he's more than vindictive. Mr. Joel is mega-vindictive. In fact, to understand just how vindictive he is, you first need to realize that all the deals Mr. Joel makes are strictly one-way. Mr. Joel gets all the rights, and the other party gets all the obligations.

To someone whose eyes are open, Mr. Joel's constantly repeated mantra that he can manipulate public understanding of defeatism and get away with it is an insanely amoral notion. By way of contrast, consider my personal mantra that from secret-handshake societies meeting at "the usual place" to back-door admissions committees, Mr. Joel's slaves have always found a way to subject us to an intense barrage of misinformation, deception, and hidden propaganda. This is particularly interesting when you consider that Mr. Joel's claim that the Earth is flat is not only an attack on the concept of objectivity but an assault on the human mind.

I'm no expert but it seems to me that Mr. Joel's bromides have caused widespread social alienation, and from this alienation a thousand social pathologies have sprung. Mr. Joel's callous witticisms are intended to rot out the minds of all freedom-loving, free-thinking people. Once that's accomplished, he can replace such people with compliant, Mr. Joel-controlled, and, above all, obedient robots who would never think to question authority. These automata will distract attention from more important issues before the year is over.

Mr. Joel should clarify his point so people like you and me can tell what the heck he's talking about. Without clarification, Mr. Joel's rejoinders sound lofty and include some emotionally charged words but don't really seem to make any sense. While these incidents may seem minor, he has compiled an impressive list of grievances against me. Not only are all of these grievances completely fictitious, but Mr. Joel's protégés claim to have no choice but to take the robes of political power off the shoulders of the few honest people who wear them and put them upon the shoulders of boisterous tightwads (especially the randy type). I wish there were some way to help these miserable, disingenuous hostes generis humani. They are outcasts, lost in a world they didn't make and don't understand.

I feel it's important to continue discussing this even after I've made my point because over the years, I've enjoyed a number of genuinely pleasurable (and pleasurably genuine) conversations with a variety of people who understand that Mr. Joel goes ballistic every time I so much as hint that I undeniably find that putrid devotees of conspiracy theories are no different from superstitious popinjays. In one such conversation, someone pointed out to me that if Mr. Joel would abandon his name-calling and false dichotomies it would be much easier for me to send Mr. Joel's jeremiads into the dustbin where they belong. I recently received some mail in which the writer stated, "The best way to discuss the relationship between three converging and ever-growing factions—sanguinary nymphomaniacs, self-absorbed, clueless sideshow barkers, and the most grotesque slackers you'll ever see—is to fix our sights on eternity." I included that quote not because it is exceptional in any way but rather because it is typical of much of the mail I receive. I included it to show you that I'm not the only one who thinks that when people say that bigotry and hate are alive and well, they're right. And Mr. Joel is to blame. I can see from the length of what I've written so far that I should save the rest of my comments about Mr. Billy Joel for a future letter. Let me close by stating simply that he has appointed himself the chairman, High Panjandrum, Grand Inquisitor, and overarching Pooh-Bah of a faction whose exclusive purpose is to damn this nation and this world to Hell.