One Sentence Summary Game!

This is a game whereby a piece of literature, a movie, a historical event, etc. is summarized into a single, concise sentence, often with hilarious results.

THINE RULES:
Rule the first: A large, rather mainstream piece shalt be offered.
Rule the second: Following posters shalt summarize said piece into a single sentence, using thine own interpretation of characters, events, details, etcetera. Thou shalt strive for humor and ingenuity.
Rule the third: If post seems to stretch the limits of yon envelope, a small clarification may be included.
Rule the fourth: Repetition is tolerated, though please space them outward from each other, about a page at minimum, and refrain from responding to a piece thou hath responded to before.
Rule the fifth: Offer a new piece for interpretation.

Okay, the basic premise is to post some fairly well-known or recent piece of various media, and somebody else posts a summary of it. For example:

Tron: Legacy - Jesus fighting Nazis set to techno music. (Daddy Flynn -> Jesus, C.L.U. -> Hitler)

Mmkay? Mmkay. Here is the first one:

Cameron's Avatar

Pocahontas as 10 foot tall aliens with psychic hippie powers

The American Revolution

Cowboys and Indians, but set in the late 1700's

The lie that is "global warming"

A bunch of tree-huggers freaking out over a possible change in climate.

The Sixth Sense (the movie, with Bruce Willis)

Ok, here we go!

Dr. Malcolm Crowe (Bruce Willis), a prominent child psychologist in Philadelphia, returns home one night with his wife, Anna Crowe (Olivia Williams), from an event in which he was honored for his work- she, however, states that everything in the world is second to his job including her- yet the two discover they are not alone; a young man (Donnie Wahlberg) appears brandishing a gun saying that he doesn't want to be afraid anymore and accuses Crowe of failing him, however Crowe recognizes him as Vincent Grey, a former patient whom he treated as a child for hallucinations and Grey shoots Crowe in the lower abdomen, and seconds later turns the gun on himself; the next fall, Crowe begins working with another patient, nine year-old Cole Sear (Haley Joel Osment), who has a condition similar to Vincent's and Crowe becomes dedicated to the boy, though he is haunted by doubts over his ability to help him after his failure with Vincent- in the meanwhile he is also very worried that his relationship with his wife is beginning to fall apart due to his focus on work- but Crowe earns his trust, and Cole eventually confides in him that he "sees dead people that walk around like regular people," and although Crowe at first thinks Cole is delusional, he eventually comes to believe that Cole is telling the truth and that Vincent may have had the same ability, and he suggests to Cole that he try to find a purpose for his gift by communicating with the ghosts, perhaps to aid them in their unfinished business on Earth, yet Cole at first does not want to because the ghosts terrify him, but he soon decides to try it: one is an overworked wife abused by her husband who slit her wrists; another that tries to hurt Cole is only heard as a voice who starts calmly pleading to Cole to let him out of the dark cupboard because he's suffocating, then yells at Cole that he didn't steal "the Master's horse" and threatens to attack Cole if he doesn't obey; the third ghost, a boy a bit older than Cole, asks him to come into the room to find the boy's father's gun, and the boy turns around to show that he has a large gunshot exit wound on the back of his head, and soon thereafter Cole finally talks to one of the ghosts, a very sick girl who appears in his bedroom where he finds out where the girl, Kyra Collins (Mischa Barton), lived and goes to her house during her funeral reception where Kyra had died after a prolonged illness and funeral guests note that Kyra's younger sister is starting to get sick also, so Kyra's ghost appears and gives Cole a box, which is opened to reveal a videotape, and when Cole gives it to Kyra's father, the videotape shows Kyra's mother putting floor cleaner fluid in Kyra's food while she cared for Kyra during her illness and the continual illness may point to a slow poisoning in a case of Munchausen syndrome by proxy; Cole confesses his secret to his mother, Lynn (Toni Collette), and although his mother at first does not believe him, Cole soon tells Lynn that her own mother once went to see her perform in a dance recital one night when she was a child, and that Lynn was not aware of this because her mother stayed in the back of the audience where she could not be seen, and also tells her that the answer to a question she asked when alone at her mother's grave, "Do I make you proud?", was "Every day" to which Lynn tearfully accepts this as the truth; Crowe returns to his home, where he finds his wife asleep on the couch with the couple's wedding video on in the background, not for the first time, and as she sleeps, Anna's hand releases Crow's wedding ring (which he suddenly discovers he has not been wearing), revealing the twist ending of the film: Crowe himself was actually killed by Vincent and was unknowingly dead the entire time he was working with Cole, and due to Cole's efforts, Crowe's unfinished business—rectifying his failure to understand Vincent—is finally complete, yet recalling Cole's advice, Crowe speaks to his sleeping wife and fulfills the second reason he returned, saying she was "never second," and that he loves her which enables her to move on with her own life, and he is free to leave behind the world of the living.

The Bourne Ultimatum

A guy that wakes up without knowing who he is with super-military skills, and takes three movies to find out who he really is.

Inception

A few guys go into someones dreams to plant an idea in his head

WW1

I want that land over there, but so does this other guy, but that dud pissed off one of my friends friends soooo...

Marvel's Civil War