First let me assure you that I am indeed worthy to start this thread.
While I was busking with my Ukulele in front of the Kihei Foodland the other day, an old Thai lady approached me and insisted on giving me a dollar to "pay for my time". She told me that I was a Buddha. She told me that I was like Jesus. In particular, she said that I was an incarnation of the "Lazy Buddha". I forget the Thai name but apparently there is a huge temple where she died. I'll find a respectable reference. I know she's not crazy because she's a respectable business owner and greeted several other respectable business owners (which normally kick me off their property without a second thought) during the duration in which she was speaking to me. Since then, they've actually approached me for conversation rather than kick me out. This is kinda serious. First I've known this (in spite of every rationalist attempt that I've made to deny it)for as long as I can remember. Second, she pointed at herself and said "I don't have Buddha eyes." Then she pointed at the woman sitting next to me and said "She doesn't have Buddha eyes". Then she pointed at everybody in the parking lot and said "None of them have Buddha eyes." Then she pointed at me and said "You have Buddha eyes. You are the only one." There's another very old Japanese lady that also takes special interst in me even though her English is even shittier than the old Thai lady's.
(I owe the phrase "during the duration" to Thomas Pynchon. I didn't lift it from him but I doubt that I would have thought of it if not for him. I've only just started reading his novel Vineland but it kicked Mark Helprin from my number one spot already. This is especially impressive because I am assured by his critics that Vineland is his worst novel. Apparently the best is either Mason & Dixon [The next novel I'm going to read, being that it's the only other one of his books in the library and I can't order any others because my library card is missing and there are currently two bench warrants out for my arrest so I can't get a new one] or Gravity's Rainbow. For comparison, good introductory novels by Helprin are Memoir From Antproof Case and Soldier of the Great War [That's WWI for the historically challenged]. After those, try Winter's Tale but remember that a work of art by a mere mortal that reaches that far must inevitably end with said mere mortal falling on his/her ass. [This is why I love Phish, Widespread Panic and The Grateful Dead. They always let you see it!] Then look at Pynchon.)
At any rate, the Begging Bowl is an old Buddhist tradition. And I've going to emply it.
I need about 900 "Market Hall" (or whatever) points so that I can change my user name.
I want my new username to be DrunkenMaster. This is appropriate because I have training in martial arts, I love being drunk, and I am a master (of sevaral things). Kickdowns would be appriciated. If anybody else needs any of these "Market Hall" (or whatever) points, feel free to post your requirements and goal in this thread as well.
Hopefully, we'll get some kickdowns.
